Are Black Fathers Getting A Bad Rep? Studies Show The Answer Is…YES!

62 comments
December 28, 2013 ‐ By Madame Noire

From ESSENCE

A new study on fathers’ involvement with their children reveals that Black men are more active in their child’s life than ever.

Out of the Black fathers who live with their children, 75 percent help with tasks like bathing and diapering, compared to 60 percent White and 45 percent Latino. The study, which involved 3,900 men between 2006 and 2010, also showed that 35 percent of Black fathers who lived with their young children said they read to them daily, compared to 30 percent of White dads and 22 precent of Latino dads.

In addition, the study found that Black fathers who lived outside of the house were at least as involved as other dads who didn’t live with their kids, or more so.

You can vote and check out other people’s point of view over on ESSENCE.com. What do you think? Do Black fathers get a bad rep? Is it that one bad apple spoiling the bunch thing?

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  • coolyfett

    The squeaky wheels gets the most oil. People think black men are deadbeats because of the squeaky wheels in the black community are loudest.

  • Mahogany Graves

    black men period get a bad rep, i notice that on the comment section of most of these blogs that talk about black men, that the commentators have so many bad things to say, when not every black man perpetuate the negative stereotypes that society has labeled them with. its bullshit

  • me

    I think it is sad that we have to even give folks snaps for doing what they SHOULD be doing as parents … That says a lot about the world we live in. SMH. More to the point is people need to stop having kids with men who are not ready to be fathers. Men reveal these sorts of things early on … and women think they can change them. If he can barely do right by you or even himself, what makes people think he will be a good father? However there are good ones; my dad was and is one of them. I just don’t think a man should get an extra slap on the back for being there for his kids … that’s like saying you get a gold star for working and paying your bills. That’s what is expected of you as an adult, just like it’s expected that you take care of kids you create.

  • Paula Banks

    My baby daddy now my husband was not ready mentally to be a father for 3 years to our 5 year old daughter but he was ready financially so for three years of our daughter’s he never missed a payment and if I needed to call him and vent or call him any number of names he would take it and let me talk. He decided it was time for him to be a Father and We married and have not looked back. My daughter is more confident and she feels safe. I can only pray that father whatever race will step up and take care of the miracles that GOD has blessed them with.

  • Taneesha Culture Clash Thomas

    How about this if ur a father single or married as long as ur taking care of ur kids not just financially but also involved in their life & upbringing then good for u who cares what some survey says & if ur not then u know ur a sorry deadbeat dad & u need to do better & do more point blank period end of story.

  • c williams

    There are some good Dads out there. My son is one them. He has partial custody of his son ,but still pays full child support because the mother uses it on the child. He spends all the time he has with him with him. Co-parenting effectively.

  • Guest

    My husband is a great father to our daughters, he even changed their diapers when they were babies, helped potty trained them when they were toddlers, cooked their meals and brought clothes for them as well. It’s sad that the deadbeat dads, no matter what race, make the ones who’s involved and taken care of their kids look bad.

    • Blackhawk

      Key word: Husband. I don’t have a friend or even an associate who doesn’t take care of their kids. I do know of some deadbeats but honestly anybody with a brain cell could tell they were bums who have never shown they had a responsible bone in their bodies.. yet women still lay and get pregnant from them.

      • Guest

        That is true, I have no pity for any woman that lays in bed with a no good a** fool knowing they were a**holes, immature, bums ,thugs and players from the jump. Best to study them first before spreading your legs to them.

  • hollyw

    Knew all this! For the fathers who are involved (which is a lot), these negative stereotypes have an even greater effect on them than those for Black mothers…

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  • guest

    According to recent statistics, about 64% of Black children live in homes without fathers, while 34% live in households with two married parents. The study referenced in this article involved only 3,900 men. Some Black, some Latino, and some Caucasian. Taking all of that into consideration, you obviously had a very small number of Black men in your study. So, for all we know, that 75% you mentioned could be 750 out of 1,000 men, or 1,500 out of 2,000. Either way, it’s not a high enough number to start claiming that men are getting a bad rap.
    Anybody with two eyes and a functioning brain can see that too many Black kids are growing up with Baby Daddies, not Fathers . . . and yes, there is a difference.
    I applaud the fathers who are responsibly raising their kids (although we shouldn’t have to applaud anyone for doing what they’re supposed to), but the bottom line is Black kids are falling behind in so many areas of life because they are missing out on the benefits of strong, stable, responsible parenting from one or both parents.
    You can spin all you want, but you can’t spin reality into a fairytale.

    • Shawndrea Rachelle

      Perfect!

    • stewwie

      This is not the first study which showed this to be the fact, two other studies also conform this finding. But I guess it has to be discarded by those who hate black men or any good news about them.

      • guest

        . . . or someone who knows how to analyze studies, thinks for herself, and can see when percentages are being used to paint a prettier, albeit inaccurate, picture . . .

        • stewwie

          So, she know more that the researcher who actuality did the study….pleas

      • Rochelle

        This study is BS!!!! I wonder how many black men in this study actually have black wives/girlfriends. We all know that the black man is a GREAT father when the children are biracial. They will be an involved father to Maria’s Ming Lee’s and Becky’s child. Sometimes even when it is not their own offspring.

        • Rochelle

          I say this as a black woman who grew up with her father in the home and now talks to her father every other day on the phone. I’m truly a daddy’s girl. I just spit facts. No bitterness.

        • stewwie

          Wrong, divorce rates are higher for interracial couples and their are many biracial children with out a father at home.

          The chip on your shoulder is clouding your ability to see things objectively and clearly.

          This is not about race but about picking the right person to marry.

    • Tellthetruth

      You are so right! We need to quit as a people sugar coating a very alarming trend in our communities. There are a number of talk shows making millions on this very issue, yet we want to push it under the rug and say otherwise. We can’t resolve the issue if we try to excuse it away. This is a glaring problem that WE as the black community need to address. I think the reason many do not want to look at this issue really do not care about our communities like they should. There is too much selfishness on the part of black fathers and MOTHERS; not enough thought on how their actions will impact a child and the community.

      We see the affects of fatherless children — girls and boys. The jails are full and the girls are winding up never married, with children. Something has to give.

  • Laine

    I’m so happy with this article that talks about positivity regarding black men…!

    • hollyw

      Irk!?

    • Lee

      And on Madame Noire no less. Madame Noire, are you feeling well? lol

    • coolyfett

      shocking…the only men MN normally praises is the WHITE ones lol……

  • stewwie

    How about a solution … can we stop having children willy nilly as we would order drive-thru. Single-parent female-headed households are currently the single most destructive social trend within the African-American community.

    • Nikia D-Shiznit

      Unmarried does not equal single, and single does not equal fatherless. And other races do it too. Tired of people sh!tting Black folk.

      • clwa0303

        Exactly! Sad to say we’re our own worst enemy now. Other races don’t even have to speak negatively against us now we do a great job of dogging ourselves. Great comment though, couldn’t agree morw

        • clwa0303

          More

      • stewwie

        If you are Unmarried that by definition makes you single in the eye of the law and society. No one is “fatherless” the question is if the father in the home helping to raise the child.

        And if you or any one else are tired of people sh!tting on Black folk, stop doing sh!tty things like having baby out of wedlock.

        • guest

          Could not have said it better. Bravo!

        • Chey

          Can you hold this up-vote for me please?! Lol

          • stewwie

            Lol

        • ijwmdp

          Nothing wrong with someone wanting to have a legal marriage but PLEASE stop spewing the non-sense that having a legal marriage will make all problems in life go away. Everyday a great number of people who have NO intention of loving, honoring, or being committed become legally wed. This coming from a happily married person. What truly matters is real commitment between people, and a legal document does not buy that. No shade to anyone and their own opinions, just saying. They’re are way too many unhappily married people out here who are showing their children things that are inappropriate but for some reason they get a pass because their parents are legally wed. Doesn’t make sense. We should advocate for responsible, loving, stable stable environments for our children and community whatever form of family that comes in. This whole idea of being legally wed is why so many women are in terrible relationships it seems because women are so desperate to be married now they’ll take any trifling man off the street and deal with his crap just to put on a front to society that she’s married and has the one up on a unmarried woman. We have to do better people. Many blessings to you all.

          • guest

            Don’t want to put words in anyone’s mouth, but I don’t think anyone is saying that marriage makes all problems go away. I think the point, as you mentioned, is to have responsible, loving, stable environments for our children . . . setting examples and being role models . . . kids growing up knowing what to expect and what to give in a loving, committed relationship because they have SEEN IT from their parents. That’s not happening right now on a large enough scale. What are kids seeing instead?? I hate to think about it, but some are living with single parents who allow a wide rotation of low-life, disrespectful, sometimes violent men almost on a daily basis. The result? A bunch of siblings who all have different fathers, a warped sense of how women should behave and/or allow themselves to be treated, violent behavior, abusive language, the degradation of women, hustling, etc.
            -Are these the kind of people who typically want to get married and commit to one partner? No. So why have kids with such a person?! If he’s worthy of being your child’s father, he ought to be worthy of being your husband first. THAT’S the point.

            • ijwmdp

              Thanks for responding! I think we all want to see our community flourish with our children being raised in loving stable environments. My point is that just doesn’t happen because you’re married. If you’re going to be a great parent you will be that with or without being married. You have people who raise their children in a stable loving home and embody all those positives you wrote on but they are not legally married. THAT’S MY POINT. And you have children who are also living in homes where their parents are legally marriedand they are not seeing
              how women should be treated, they are witnessing violence, philandering daddy, and other harmful behaviors. Absolutely nothing wrong with anyone aspiring for legal marriage. I would hope whether one wants a legal marriage or lifetime partnership the goal is to really find someone where you can truly build a life with someone where you truly value,love, and respect each other and any children created out of that and raised in that forum i honestly believe that’s what will make them prosper. Nice “speaking” with you :), wish you the best in all you do

          • Noa

            People are going to down vote us, but I totally agree. I’ve never understood how having a piece of paper automatically makes you and your home situation better than anyone else. Don’t get me wrong, I hope to be married one day, but it’s not my priority

          • stewwie

            This is a typical straw man argument meant to dilute the subject and minimize the importance of somethings…… pointing to the exception to the rule is a bad argument. If anything it proves the point.

            No one is saying all marriage work and there are no bad marriages. No one is telling women or men to pick a bad mate, quite the contrary. Marriage is not just a piece of paper. Marriage, the union of one man and one woman, is a personal, but not private, relationship with great public significance. Marriage is good for the couple; it is also provides the optimal conditions for bearing and raising children. Marriage makes an essential contribution to the common good. On average, husbands and wives are healthier, happier and enjoy longer lives than those who are not married. Married mothers have lower rates of depression than single or cohabiting mothers. Married couples build more wealth on average than singles or cohabiting couples. Married men earn more money than do single men with similar education and job histories. Married women are economically better off than divorced, cohabiting or never-married women.

            We are speaking the general outcome and consequences of single parenthood and lack of two parent households. Growing up with a single mother is the primary cause of many of the black communities most serious social problems, including poverty, high school dropout, teen pregnancy, and delinquency, sexual abuse, drags,crime,less healthy, serious emotional illness ….ect

            This is not just my personal opinion, this is a well studied subject and all the finds point to the benefit of marriage and two parent household and the negative sequence of single parenting. And anyone who is intellectually honest can see this for themselves….

            • Noa

              If children were raised by single fathers, would they end up better than their counterparts raised by their mothers only?

              • stewwie

                No, not according to studies i have read….

                • Noa

                  Then please stop emphasizing the fact that the black community is in ruins because of the women

                  • stewwie

                    where did I say that, do you have a problem with reading comprehension or something ?…. both men and women bare the burden of their recklessness but women do make the final decision whether or not they want to bring a life in to this world.

                    Stop making stuff up…..

                    • Noa

                      One of your comments says single parent female headed households and then something negative. Plus we’ve argued before on a topic that could be applied to both women and men, and yet you chose to focus on the women aspect, ignoring any negatives that can be applied to men.

                  • 9Boots

                    Both genders are at fault for single parenthood.

                    • Noa

                      I agree with that in some situations. If women who want marriage and who want to raise children with the child’s father choose to have children out of wedlock with scum-bag men, then they should bear just as much blame as those deadbeat fathers. However, I feel like there seems to be an attack on ALL single mothers/ unmarried mothers. I know too many women who have raised successful kids without a man or the title of ‘Mrs.’ to believe men or a marriage document is needed to raise a fully functioning, normal human being.

                    • 9Boots

                      Successful kids without a man or the title of “Mrs.” is a rarity. If it was the norm then the black community would not be in the current state it is in.

                    • ijwmdp

                      I agree. My point is that people keep stressing a child growing with in a home with married parents means they cannot be exposed to violence, cheating, betrayal, negligence or any other negatives that are placed upon single parents. We know that’s not true. Married men beat their wives, cheatvon their wives, neglect their children just like someone who’s unmarried. Marriage is NOT going to change someone who is already flawed when it comes to being in relationships or being a father. The same way 2 people who may not be legally married or even in a relationship anymore doesn’t equate to the child being doomed to hell. I don’t think its wise for people to have children that are not ready to care for emotionally, spiritually, financially, or mentally. Its almost not beneficial to have children with every tom,dick,and harry and just to it. I do think people can have all commitment, love,respect, and stability WITHOUT being legally wed because those things do not nor will they ever automatically come with a legal document. And anyone who doesnt understand that is………..

                    • Noa

                      Thank you! Sometimes I feel like I’m speaking with people from the Middle Ages on this site. All it takes is a financially and emotionally stable home ran by at least one responsible, loving, mature adult to raise a child. Plus, some kids are just crazy. Some people just turn out crazy or troublesome and it has nothing to do with their home environment, but let that environment be ran by a unmarried couple or a single black woman and of course that’s the cause of the delinquency.

                    • ijwmdp

                      “Some kids are just crazy” lol, had to laugh at that so true tho!!

                    • Rochelle

                      “Some people just turn out crazy or troublesome and it has nothing to do with their home environment” You know who says stuff like this: Bad Parents. You never hear a parent of a Havard grad say “I had nothing to do with my child’s success, that was all them. I had no bearing.” But let that child be a criminal, gang banger, drug addict and it’s “I had nothing to do with that. Sometimes you can do everything and the child just turns out bad.” Yeah right. That said, if you mean crazy as in mentally crazy then I can agree. But if you mean just a horrible person, I do not. Parents have a lot more control than they lead on. And what does middle ages have to do with marriage and stable homes? You’re losing me and reaching. There is no disputing that a loving home with a mother and father is more times better than a single home with one parent. Our children are dying out here, getting locked up. Especially our boys. Time to wake up and stop lying to ourselves. WE ARE F-IN UP and our children are paying for it!

                    • Noa

                      Alright that’s fine. I’m done arguing with you and Huey Freeman over there. I’m sorry you both are so offended by others having different opinions/refusing to accepted these bias surveys as fact. I know that if I end up adopting a child unmarried, with or without a man, that they( hopefully she) will turnout just great! And that’s all that matters to me.

                    • Rochelle

                      If the man is cheating, beating and molesting then why marry him? If he has those flaws, why be in a relationship with him? I think you are drawing at straws. It is not that complicated. Choose wisely and most likely you won’t be in the situation of multiple baby mama/daddies and deadbeat parents.

                    • ijwmdp

                      I agree, you have to ask some of the many women who choose to do so. Probably has a lot to do with what i stated earlier about some women being desperate to just be married. Believing the idea that it appears some even on this thread share, that the very idea of having a legal marriage changes a person from who they really are. Not “grasping at straws”at all. Again, deadbeat parents come in legal marriage or with unmarried couples. A legal document isn’t gonna change that, nor any of the other negatives. I agree choose wisely period.

                    • Noa

                      Yup, when a woman has a deadbeat husband, people blame her and her poor judge of character. And then I’m like, well she’s 33 and she wanted children. According to society and this thread, she needs a husband for that to happen so there. I’m not saying there aren’t women who are just dumb and that’s why the end up with garbage men, because that’s the case a lot of times. It’s just there are women who let society pressure them into fitting a mold and who let people brainwash them into believing that no matter how much money they have or how caring and loving they will be to a child; the kid will end up a terrorist if she doesn’t have a husband.

        • Sapphire Jones

          ::sighs:: this is extremely simplistic reasoning. There are many different family structures and all of them are equal. A household headed by a single woman, in itself, does not harm children. You should open your mind and stop shoving one certain hetero-normative ideal down everyone’s throats. How about supporting women instead of slut-shaming?

          • stewwie

            Wow…. you manged to spew so much BS feminist talking points in on paragraph. The irony is that one of the major reason we are in this mess is because of your retarded ideology and the mindset which follows it. White feminists like you could not give a damn about the damage that you have caused to millions of black families – something that you purposely set out to do. You do not give two hoots for the communities that you have destroyed, nor for the millions of people whose lives have been damaged.

            Pleas come back to us when your community is devastated by lack of fathers in the home, until them let us fix our problem by our-self.

            • http://driftingsapphire.blogspot.com/ Sapphire Jones

              You’ve lost all credibility with “retarded” and “BS feminist talking points.”

              It’s time to grow up and get an education. I am a black woman who has grown up in a household headed by a married couple. I am single with no children — but even I know better. My “community,” whoever that is, is doing just fine. You see, I keep many different kinds of people around me, so I have plenty of experience with both nuclear families and different family units.

              Instead of coming on websites like this spewing hatred against women, try helping them out instead. Try working on issues like poverty and educational opportunities. Work against the system that forces women to raise unwanted children while letting men off the hook. Work on sex education, contraception and encourage family planning for women. In other words, DO something to work on the root causes of suffering children.

              What you are saying: only one way is the right way, is shortsighted and does nothing to help those who need it the most.

              Oh… and if you’re going to be childish, at least spell your words correctly.

            • HarrisPerryfor2016

              Tariq is that you

      • Rochelle

        Nikia what the heck does it matter that other’s do it too? What is your point?

        • Chey

          Ok?! That’s such an immature state of mind.

      • Just saying

        It seems that you probably had a child out of wed lock and now you’re justifying it. 51% of new African American children are born to single parents. I don’t understNd how people can make a commitment to parenting but not one to marriage. Two parent households are shown to produce better results for children socially and psychologically. Those are the facts sorry. It’s not about downing the race I just dont understand why people can’t use birth control.

      • guest

        But do other races do this at a rate of 70%? Stop kidding yourself. The black community has a problem. Deflecting the issue to ” other races do it too” is not helping.

    • 9Boots

      What Huey I mean Stewwie said is correct. In addition, BOTH genders are at fault for the abundance of single-parent- female -headed households.

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