Looking for Love vs. Being Desperate

January 7, 2011  |  

Glenn Close as Alex in “Fatal Attraction.” Do not become an Alex!

Companionship is something we were built for; it’s a part of human nature. The longing to lock arms and exchange sweet smiles is not to be ignored. Finding love is important and we should keep ourselves open to possibilities.

However, we should not be so inviting that we appear desperate. Standards and politesse need always apply. No man wants a woman who is desperate. It is most attractive to seem desirable and confident. So, assume the correct position when hunting for men. When and with whom it is meant to be will happen. The key is remaining open and opportunistic. Here are a few tips for looking open to love without coming off as desperate:

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  • Just Sayin'

    I agree with Superstar. It is never a good idea to just go along without having a talk at some point about the "state of the union". One may believe the relationship is monogamous while the other is just playing the field. I have actually had it happen to me before. Now I just state my intentions quite early so that no misunderstandings may result.

  • I think the label thing causes more confusion and blurs the line between the two. You would think it solidifies but it often does just the opposite.

    I think if you're looking for love, look for it. You can't be inhibited when looking for love. Having too many rules will leave you no where. Rules are good but don't govern your heart too much.

  • LadyB

    I've practice this advice for most of my dating life. It works sometimes, and it depends on the other person. If he is just looking for sexual relationship, he will move on, but if he wants a serious relationship then he will see were the relationship is headed.

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  • Superstar80

    I would actually caution against the advice in the "keep him on his toes" section. Playing games like rescheduling for no real reason or not answering calls or texts is a great way to display immaturity instead of seeming "in demand". Guys who are looking for a serious commitment will quickly get annoyed and a woman may miss out on a great catch.

    Also, I would caution against not discussing the relationship status for three months. That works if you're not getting physical, but if you're having a sexual relationship you ABSOLUTELY need to know if he's getting with anyone else. Some people think nothing of sleeping with more than one person if they're not officially in a relationship or haven't agreed to be sexual with only one person. Have the talk!

  • Great advice!