Tionna Smalls Says If You Think Your Man Won’t Cheat On You You’re Fooling Yourself

118 Comments
December 19, 2013 ‐ By
Tionna Smalls Says All Men Cheat

Source: Twitter

Let’s just get right into it, shall we? Relationship adviser Tionna Smalls recently made another appearance on the talk show “Bethenny,” and during a heated battle of the sexes debate on whether men can be monogamous, she dropped this gem:

“Men are going to cheat. If you put it in your mind that a man is not going to cheat you’re fooling yourself — especially a man with money. I’m not saying you have to accept it, but you have to respect it. That’s number one. Number two, you better hope your man is just humping another chick and not falling in love mentally with another chick.”

I can already guestimate one of the first questions you have, which is who is this chick, so let me go ahead and lay out her resume. Tionna was the relationship coach tasked with helping  TLC member Chilli find love on the VH1 reality show, “What Chilli Wants.” She also starred on MTV’s “Girl, Get Your Mind Right!” and is currently the host of a new online radio show titled, “Tionna Talks.”

Now why should you care? That I can’t answer for you, other than to ask whether you believe Tionna’s conviction? Men and cheating tend to go hand-in-hand in a lot of women’s minds, and you can tell by the passion with which Tionna states her case in the video below that she clearly is a strong believer in the doctrine of the male philanderer. But while all men have the capacity to cheat — and likely have at least once or twice in the past — I’m not completely certain a woman is fooling herself is she believes the man who made a commitment to her won’t cheat on her. But if that is the case, Tionna is right that us ladies don’t have to accept it, but we also don’t have to respect it either. There’s a simple thing all men who are incapable of being monogamous can do to make everyone’s lives easier and that is stay single. That’s about the only choice that’s respectable when it comes to this topic. But that’s just my personal belief.

Check out Tionna in the video clip below and tell us what you think. Are all men going to cheat eventually?

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  • thisrachetshit

    As a man, I was taught to pat myself on the back if I got a woman to sleep with me. Women are taught the complete opposite. As men, we learn from an early age that the more women we sleep with the bigger the praise we will get from our peers. No one wants to feel ostracized or that something is somehow wrong with them for not doing the same things as their friends. Does some of this has to do with nature? yes… maybe so. There is no doubt about it, having sex feels great and strokes our ego. But, the constant reinforcement of the ‘ideal’ man I think plays a larger role, this standard is embedded within us and is very hard to overcome. I have friends who spend all day trying to get with this girl or the other. Its a habit and Its like a sport to some of them. I am not trying to blame it all on society but that does play a large part in it. For instance, my uncle taught me and my male cousins “the game”, if you will, of how to get women to sleep with you. So it is also something that is passed down and then reinforced by society. I am now an adult (27) and I find it hard to do away with those old habits even though I try very hard. It requires you to stay focused on your goals and aspirations and not worry about everything thats going on around you. There is also something to be said about the type of cheating, there are guys out their who believe it is their mission in life to sleep with as many women as possible, and these ladies are the guys you want to stay away from. They are insecure and they need women to make them feel better about themselves. However, even a secure man will find it EXTREMELY DIFFICULT to turn down an open invitation to sleep with a nice looking woman, but this has nothing to do with you! Its more a matter of opportunity, but they (me) are still good guys. They simply succumb to the pressure. It happens! Then there are just freaky men who will sleep with anybody (sex addiction is real).

    So to answer your question, will your man be physical with another person while his with you? More than likely. But I think that PEOPLE should focus more on how their partner treats them, and vice versa, and not worry so much about things that are out of their control. Give your all and love hard, but, once a person starts to treat you bad (i.e. lying, talking disrespectfully), then it is time for you to leave. Forget all that crap about we are supposed to be together forever and ever and ever and ever. Thats BS. Have separate bank accounts, keep yourself healthy and looking good and if you have to leave one day, you should have no problem finding another one.

  • Nellz

    I think most men have been unfaithful at some point in their lives but that doesn’t mean they will cheat on every female. There are woman they will cheat on and some they won’t.

  • Hannibal G

    To the people who are saying all men cheat, who told you to try them all? Also, if all men cheat, do you really think they are only cheating with SINGLE women? No, they are cheating with a woman who is also in a relationship. So Women AND Men cheat. I know WOMEN who are married, and hold on to old bf/flings numbers for a “Just in case” moment. So they are basically saying, if my guys cheat.. instead of leaving.. ima jus call up one of my old flings to get back at em. Who does that??

  • chanela

    ROFL @ her last name

  • Dee

    Hoodrat tings dem…. that’s all I have to say. LMAO

  • El Ryder

    Here’s a little “news flash”…WOMEN CHEAT JUST AS MUCH AS MEN DO! Cheating is not confined to the ranks of the “male chromosome”. I actually watched this show at my job because I walked in and the ladies were watching it. She REALLY made herself look like an IDIOT! The audience was composed of mostly women. ..probably 85% to 15%…and, when it was all said and done, the man that was on the panel won the BATTLE OF THE SEX E’S by a landslide! She has a SAD OUT LOOK ON LIFE. Oh…and as far as her being a “relationship specialist”…***points to corner***….go stand over there til you learn how to act!

  • Gert

    When you accept status quo, that is what you will get. Any person will cheat if they think it will not affect them. A real Man will not cheat, you are a coward and a fleshy person when you have no concience in regards to cheating on your spouse. You are not only puting your health at risk but the person you are with. To say that all men cheat, is accepting their behavior. The “I am in a commited relationship”, who made that determination, yourself. Unless these things are discussed, it will set-up any relationship for failure. Women love to say they are in a commited relaitionship…when they are the only ones commited. Women are not stupid believe me they see the signs and men are not stupid either, they know who they can get over on. I accept that behavior in my house and it is also not and has not been an issue in my marriage. I have been married 15 years and I am only 35. You are supposed to trust your spouse….sorry t this lady has no creditability with me.

  • anonymouse

    does she even have a man??

  • 9Boots

    The men below are stating the truth. The majority of men cheat, especially when they are in girlfriend/boyfriend relationships as opposed to marriage. Men know that all they have to do is get a woman to be their girlfriend and they will have guaranteed access to sex. Most men are carnal minded and have not been mentored and molded to have character and treat women as The LORD intends them to. This is why I state that women have to stop having sex with men they are not married to. These non husbands have not earned the right to have sex with you. All this free, easy, casual, non married sex they are getting does not cause them to appreciate women. Instead their egos get extremely inflated and they beat their chests because they are accomplishing their dream, which is to be studs and have sex with as many women that will allow them. Women give up all their power, the ability to control access to sex and limit the supply. These males are running around like kids in an unattended candy store sticking their hands in all of the cookie jars. They are not going to stop until women realize they have the power to set the standard, raise the bar, and be highly selective with whom gets access to your body. if women ever wise up and limit the heck out of the sex supply, the only option for men would be to go to prostitutes. Most decent men would get tired of that option real fast. Ladies it is up to you.

    • Chaz

      To say that the Lord intends them to is crazy. He gives us all choices to do as we please. If a man wants to sleep around, that is his choice. Same goes for a woman. But please dont say thats the way the Lord intended it to be bc that is not true at all.

      • 9Boots

        “Most men are carnal minded and have not been mentored and molded to have character and treat women as The LORD intends them to”. That means when The LORD created men, he created them to have character and treat women with respect, love, and fidelity.

  • David Roberts

    So sad this mentality still exists…

    • Charles Monroe

      true! men need to stop it’s getting old already but they wont.

  • courtney blanks

    And yes white women black men will cheat on you too.. dont ever think you are better than blk women,, not better just easier,, heard that from too many blk men… they go where they can get away with crap,, and if thats how you get a man is to let him run all over you ,, than you are a classless moron.

  • Fredrick Eddy

    All men dont cheat because they cant.1. Some dont have the stamina to handle more then one woman. 2. Some dont have the confidence 3. Some for religious reasons 4. Some thinks it takes money they dont have. 5. Some dont have the looks. But the majority have and will given the situation. Women think with one head a man thinks with another. Soon as a woman catch her man cheating the first thing she say’s is I thought you loved me. To a man one doesnt have nothing to do with the over. Love wont make you not cheat.

    • Self-Hating Negro Slayer

      …the one without the looks can always pull a White Chick, so they’ll cheat too.

  • Charles Monroe

    I love this dicussion women talking about why men cheat.. Me cheat first because of confidence(swaggar) Second because we are allowed to by woman like you in this conversation. De-nile is not only a river in Egypt. I like most of these commentators because as long as there are women like you we will always have a head start.

  • Sookiiee

    And yet chilli still wants a man sooo yeah lol how is she a relationship expert again

  • Curt Steele

    she sounds like a damn fool

  • Bri

    I’m not even sure if it’s because she is bitter or it’s simply because she accepts the bs society has put out about men just being men, as if they can’t help themselves. That’s why we have to raise our young men to be responsible for their actions and to have integrity. There are good men out here willing and capable of being faithful. I don’t believe the bs about men being simply wired that way. We all have sexual desires (male and female), it’s possibly harder for men, but I don’t believe they simply cannot control themselves. But when we spew lies like this it gives men the idea that it’s something that can’t be helped and that it’s ok simply because they have that third leg. Smh. I rather be single than be cheated on and mistreated and the older I get the more I am ok with it, however I believe there is a good man out there for me just have to sift through the bs.

  • jdmann

    Love hurts..if you can’t stand the heat stay out of the kitchen.

  • iTs_gLoGlo

    I have only one question. Is she happily married?

  • Marina Calis

    All men cheat!! I haven’t met one who hasn’t cheated yet.Some are better cheater’s and sneakier than the rest…but they all cheat.

    • oooJASONooo

      “There’s a simple thing all men who are incapable of being monogamous can do to make everyone’s lives easier and that is stay single.” – author of this story

      If all us dudes that cheat just stayed single (at least in America), how many relationships would there be?

      answer – 117

    • GirlSixx

      Sorry but I refuse to believe that.
      NOT ALL MEN CHEAT. There are some who take their commitment to their woman very seriously.

      • Marina Calis

        ALL MEN CHEAT! and that’s that

        • Devin Brown

          No you just sound bitter as hell

          • Marina Calis

            So what a person can be bitter all they want and it’s not for you to check them.This conversation is closed.Bye

            • Devin Brown

              So…..you mad?

              • Marina Calis

                Go to hell

                • Devin Brown

                  Aww what’s wrong you mad, just because you ran into men that cheated on you doesn’t mean that every man in the world does, so until you see EVERY MAN cheat on their girlfriend or wife please shut up

    • Fredrick Eddy

      Not All men just say Majority, A man feels if he got you to spread eagle then who else will spread them for him. Dont take it personal he doesnt it’s just business…..

  • Jan

    its like women rather be super negative about men rather than date a better choice of men. truth is we all struggle with infidelity , but a lot of mature and realize that it is not worth risking a healthy relationship

    • SharonRose

      true

    • Fredrick Eddy

      why are you taking up for the cheating men? I like you where you live? The woman are not being super negative they are being super real. You shouldnt have to struggle with fidelity if you really want to be with the person. Men are greedy one set of legs is never enuff. STOP blaming the women…….

  • LC

    I’m starting her a GoFundMe account for a breast reduction.
    Please donate and support the cause.

    • Mimi

      Lmao, I’m dead!

    • stewwie

      get your hand of those big tits, breast reduction is a sin ….:)

  • RHONYC

    the only thing that i ‘can’ vouch for is women are very good at hiding conquest.
    i do happen to understand the skill of having relations with someone (not cheating)
    and acting like that the person does not exist in your personal space while around others.

  • Paul Dronette

    She said, from her own mouth, “There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of cheating……”

    And she’s a relationship coach?????

    What am I missing? This makes no sense at all?!

  • blogdiz

    Ok then thought she was Biggie Smalls daughter

  • The Love Zone USA

    Its great to see and read that a lot of people are not agreeing with this statement. However can we all say we haven’t been cheated on and if not, maybe her statement is true. Unless we are so hung up in hoping and wishing to find the one who doesn’t cheat. Ummmm like us on FB to continue this convo and more The Love Zone USA n follow us on Twitter @thelovezoneusa….looking to redecorate like luxurious Furniture on FB luxury furniture at an affordable price.

  • Tia Brooks

    She is so on point, Allthe cheating will make you bitter. All six of my brothers cheated, my father cheated, the deacons in the church would stand up and repent they cheated, my uncles always had a side piece all of them, my fathers’s friend all had girl friends on their wives, the butcher cheated, the guys on the corner all had two or three(friends) cheating. How long can and do we turn the other way and act like we do see it.

    • Dani

      I don’t believe all men cheat but I do believe most do. I have uncles too who have cheated but that was before they all got married. And even when they start dating their wives they stop all the games. To me it’s sometimes about what a woman will put up with. If you go into a relationship expecting a man to cheat then, you are setting yourself up for failure in that relationship.

      • Charles Monroe

        @Dani not true, your expectations want stop a man if that is what he wants to do. Who goes into a relationship expecting their man to cheat?

  • Gabie Aldrich

    That’s sad…It’s sad that she has never been with anyone who never saw her worth..To go and give this half baked advice is pathetic!

  • cryssi

    This is the most nonsensical nonfactual piece of stupidity on men uttered in a hot minute….like where are you getting these numbers and percentages?….

    nevermind Tionna, cause you don’t have the answers (Kanye voice)

  • toya

    Poor foolish woman. She has absolute faith in the theory that all men cheat. You get what you expect to have. She just spoke those foolish words into the atmosphere….and on another note – why is she sooo bloody LOUD? …so bush.

    • Fredrick Eddy

      You are putting the emphasis on ALL just to make her look bad and you wont have to face the facts, Let me adjust ALL to Majority. Why because it is so easy to do. We think nothing of having four or five hunny bunnies sometimes all at once. It is not a bad thing to a man like it is to a woman. So no all men dont cheat.

  • Lola

    Why does she think she is a genius on the topic of love? Smh… Is she married? Or have a man ? I’m guessing the answer is NO. She sound so bitter. I guess she believes that because she’s been cheated on, and with a mind set like that it’s no surprise to me. If you walk around 24/7 thinking all men cheat and projecting that perspective out to the universe, guess what? Men will cheat on you. It’s called law of attraction and self fulfilling prophecy.

  • MisLAdy

    Madea, who dis woman????????

  • Starcru

    Clearly,she’s never been in a faithful relationship before,so of course she would generalize and try to make all women have the same mentality as her.

  • ms lawrence

    This big tittie fool lol

    • Jan

      LOL

    • enlightenment

      Lmao

  • Talent

    Has she ever sat back and thought to herself that perhaps the men she has been with have all cheated on her because all she can bring to the table are big breasts? I love big breasts but I love a big brain even more.

  • kiki j

    All men don’t cheat but a lot of men do, especially rich men. It’s just reality. But guess what…..a lot of WOMEN cheat too. And she’s backwards. Doesnt it make more sense to say accept it but you don’t have to respect it? Anyway going into a relationship expecting your man to cheat isn’t healthy and shows a lack of self-worth. She’s rediculous and obviously has liw self-esteem.

    • Jennifer

      I concur. She definitely has low self esteem and tries to cover it up by being loud. I see through that facade and feel sad for her, actually.

    • oooJASONooo

      I thought the same exact thing about the accept it/respect it thing.

  • qui8tstorm83

    For her sake i sure hope the man she just married is the 1 out of 10 that does not cheat. Well that is unless they have an open marriage. ***shrugs*** SMH.

    • Jennifer

      I would be inclined to think that they either (1) have an open marriage; &/or (2) she already knows and accepts the fact that he cheats on her. When you set low standards for your relationship, you open the door for cheating and all other types of madness to happen.

      • SharonRose

        Someone said she was once engaged, on b0ssip. but what you said is so true.

    • Charles Monroe

      You are not a man to speak on what we will and will not do, given the chance 9 out of 10 men will experiment(cheat) as long as they think they can get away with it. What you talking and where you been.

      • Fredrick Eddy

        @Charles I am on the floor, You schooling them and as usual women not listening. If they wud shut their mouth and open their ears sometime they wud learn more but all they know is yabba gab. Thinking they know everything.

        • kimmel67

          No he is not schooling anyone. “given the chance 9 out of 10 men will experiment(cheat).” Have you conducted any studies on this or is this based on your personal experience?

  • IveHadIt

    She should get her “relationship expert” title revoked! All men don’t cheat and she’s giving the ones who are faithful a bad name. She need to take her brain out of those tig a** bitties of hers and put it back in her head, have several seats and STFU!

  • I Can’t

    I say at the end of the day just trust your intuition. Don’t let others project their relationship insecurities on you in the form of unsolicited advice. So many of us rely too much on other folks opinions. I’m kind of over relationship experts at this point. Be your own relationship expert.

    • Chaz

      Exactly. Only you can make your own decisions.

    • FeelsGood

      Wise woman

    • enlightenment

      Well said. All my life, I never dated men I knew would cheat on me…and guess what? I’ve never been cheated on. And people would ask how do I know if a man is a cheater, I say “Hello?! There are red flags!! Always!”

      • SharonRose

        Yes there are always red flags even in the beginning, but some people over look them because you think it’s really small, not knowing it can snowball into a big issue.

        • SharonRose

          Oh has anyone noticed MN has got two trolls on here trying to start a fight, because majority of us don’t believe all men cheat.

      • Charles Monroe

        Dunb just Dumb! The wife or wifey is always gonna be the last to know. Just because you didnt catch me doesnt mean nothing. We are as slick is the night is long.

        • enlightenment

          Nope, you men always leave behind dirty trails. Always.

          Women are intuitive. The only reason that yall SEEM slick is because some women refuse to notice the red flags…love is blind. But in hindsight, women always (and I mean always) say “How did I miss that? The clues were right in front of me!”

        • Fredrick Eddy

          Women know what time it is. as long is they deny their feelings wont get hurt.

    • Jan

      ooooh weee ! you said it , im over people have no certifications or education to even base their opinion or work on. yes mam, people will project all kinds of negative juju on you .

      • Charles Monroe

        What h is juju, Girl you dont need a certificate and life lessons should be your education. Men love woman like you.(guilible and full of hope) as long as you keep your head in the sand you wont see when he does.

        • Jan

          juju are vibes my dear…people can cast negative spirits and vibes into your life based on their shrewd and ill informed opinions. as far as the education, im stating i don’t believe or appreaciate non licensed wanna be life coaches and therapists. life can teach you lessons.

  • I Can’t

    I have some free seats available. She needs to have several.

  • MuscleMansWoman

    Ignorance is bliss. She’s making herself look foolish with these statements.

  • Justice

    I don’t believe that ALL men cheat, but I think it’s fine to be cautious and realistic. Don’t walk around with your head in the clouds all the time, but there’s nothing wrong with trusting your man. If he screws up, that’s up to you whether you want to accept it or not….

    • SharonRose

      This^

  • Chaz

    A man is just as capable as a woman to decide weather or not he wants to cheat or not. Its a choice. And to say that its a fact that all men will cheat is just crazy. Stop giving these men the ok to cheat. Thinking that well, if women already know that we cheat, then y would I not take advantage of the opportunity. Ladies, just because you are bitter when it comes to men, dont go around trying to kill other peoples view.

    • Charles Monroe

      I’m a man and woman accept this kind of behavior that is why we continue has nothing to do with bitterness.

      • Chaz

        Its clear that you took my comment out of context. She is saying that women have to face the fact that all men will cheat. That is bitterness. For one, you have not met all men so you can not speak for all. And two, just because something has happened to you, does not mean it will happen to someone else.
        Stop believing all this bs ladies. SOME men do cheat, and so do SOME women, but dont let that be your outlook when going into a relationship. Let your mate actions make the decision.

  • Guest

    Well she doesn’t know ALL men! She sounds bitter and maybe all the men she was with cheated on her. She shouldn’t call herself a relationship anything!

    • Tia Brooks

      As long as their are woman who think like you the men will continue to cheat. She doesnt know all men but the majority do cheat. Most women turn there head and look the other way so they dont have to admit that their man cheats. All you have to do is ask two other people that know of him that wont gain from your break up , you will be surprised of the answer. The wife or wifey is the last to know. Believe me people are talking behind your back on how d@mb you are for not knowing and continue to take up for him and stay :):):):)

      • Guest

        And that’s why 3 people dislike your comment?

        • Jan

          four now …. women, we need to stop being so guillible and lost. stop accepting stuff just because a lot of people do it or its heavily engrained into our environment.

        • Charles Monroe

          and 4 dislike yours.

      • JKJK

        Tionna Smalls, is that you?

      • Charles Monroe

        @Tia be quiet why you trying to hip them to the game, cant you tell how they talk they already know what’s up. They chose to be un aware because what they dont know wont hurt them(they think);)

        • heyheynow

          are either one of yall married…or have you been married?

  • Leah Robinson

    This whole “all men are dogs and cheat all the time” sounds like blah blah blah. Just because she may be bitter don’t kill everyone’s vibe! Pure ridiculousness

    • MsTwix

      LOL, I swear I was singing “B*tch Don’t Kill My Vibe” in my head when I started reading the article. Don’t they have support groups for bitter people, smh?

      Happy almost Friday :)

      • Jan

        right, can we do something about the bitter bird brigade…..

        • MsTwix

          I say we ignore or clown them… who’s in lol?

          • Jan

            ignore them and pray for em… won’t ever be able to enjoy life without being positive and having some faith

            • Fredrick Eddy

              Just make sure he on the same page. Most of the time it’s the woman looking for love and the man looking for sex!

      • Gert

        Who is this person anyway, did I miss something?

        • MsTwix

          Girl, she had 15 minutes of fame trying to check Chilli from TLC on a VH1 reality dating show. It was horrible lol….

          • Gert

            Oh okay, I was completely clueless…LOL!

          • MiaSara

            I seriously thought she was Biggie Smalls daughter, my dingy az! Loool

            • MsTwix

              I thought that at first too lol. But alas, she’s banking on talking ish and a recognizable last name… the audacity lol!!

              • MiaSara

                Loool!

            • Dee

              His Daughter’s name would have been “Wallace” LMAO

              • MiaSara

                Right! Loool

          • Curt Steele

            well more like 10 mins she still trying to get the other 5!!!!!lol

      • Charles Monroe

        Having a good vibe wont stop him from cheating, He will get the next one just like he got you.

    • Janice

      White women love to see and be on TV next to fat black women. It makes them feel good about themselves. If the black woman is also dark, loud and ghetto that’s even better.

    • Gert

      I was thinking the same thing, when can we post about something positive sometimes. When you are in a realtionship, you are supposed to be with someone that you trust, and you should always carry an open heart and unless they give you reason otherwise. I have been married 15 years and I have not had the issues of infedility within my marriage. That does not mean that I did not experience it on other realtionships, but I am not going to put the spirit on my husband.
      I am tired of people being so bitter, woman cheat too, and. This article was a waste of ink.

    • MiaSara

      Exactly! Cheating happens by choosing the wrong mate and being too cowardly and in too deep to leave.

      If you take ur time and choose a partner that you can seriously talk with, trip out with, cry with etc., they are not going to cheat, trust!

      • oooJASONooo

        That man you’re describing cheats too, but there might be 2 or 3 out there that won’t.

      • Charles Monroe

        Not true!

    • Charles Monroe

      It is some truth to it, We are not dogs but we have a dog mentality when it comes to sex. If we will do you we will basically do anybody worth doing(no problem, no love lost) Next!!!

      • Fredrick Eddy

        Exactly! Men are not always looking for love just bcuz they like you just enuff to get in your panties. Women will never learn this.

      • kimmel67

        I believe the point of some of the comments is to not have the attitude that “all men cheat.” I think we are well aware some men choose to live their live on all fours.

        • kimmel67

          Meant to say “life”