19 Things All Women Hide When Men Come Over

January 10, 2014  |  
Things All Women Hide

They say you get to know a lot about a person by just looking at their room—remember the popular show “Room Raiders” on which dates were chosen based solely on the looks of their homes—but maybe, we don’t want guys to know that much just yet. Here are 19 things most women hide when a guy is coming over.

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The dirty doggy blanket

You know you lay a little blanket down on top of your bed for your pup to lay on next to you. And you know it doesn’t really keep his hairs from getting everywhere, and you don’t wash that little blanket often enough. But so long as your guy doesn’t ever see that little blanket, he’ll never be the wiser about potentially sleeping in a layer of dog hair.

"Messy bed pf"

 

Everything under the bed

Gifts you don’t want, socks that got lost under there and have collected so much dust you’re afraid to fish them out—you name it, it’s under your bed. And you’re not going to clear it out now just because a guy’s coming over! So, you tuck everything in under there just a little bit better, and maybe push a decorative trunk in front of the foot of your bed.

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Unopened mail

As far as your guy knows, you’re an adult with her life together and adults with their lives together open mail in a timely manner. So that stack of bills and reminders from your doctor’s office gets hidden on the high shelf for now.

copycat friends

Our friendship collages

It’s so sweet that you and your friends made these, but they take a lot of time and when your guy sees them, he’ll wonder if you’re a little too attached to your girlfriends (i.e. will they be attending all date nights?).

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Self-help books

There is nothing wrong with wanting to learn how to have more self-confidence, how to no longer struggle with body image issues, how to learn to speak up—but you want your guy to think you already have all of that on lockdown. So the self-help books go in the closet for now.

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Our shopping bags/clothing tags

We don’t throw the bags away because we plan on using them as trash bags, and the clothing tags, well, we just snip those things off wherever we were standing before rushing out the door. Suddenly, it looks like we shop every day! (Well, some of us do…)

"High heels pf"

 

Discount sticker shoes

You know those stubborn stickers on the insides and bottoms of designer shoes you pick up at Ross or T.J. Maxx—those don’t look so classy. So those shoes get hidden behind the few pairs of shoes we actually bought at full price.

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Toolbox of makeup

Men know we wear makeup, but they don’t need to know we wear that much makeup. The box of 50 shades of eye shadow gets slid under the bed.

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Super comfy, oversized robe

You know the one you toss on with some slippers when it’s a vodka, ice cream and Netflix kind of night. The one that’s so fuzzy you look like a Care Bear in it. The one that is freakishly similar to the one your mom wears…

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Bathroom reading material

Men can’t possibly know that women’s bodies do anything gross! So having stacks of books and magazines on the back of the toilet just wouldn’t make sense to them.

"Underwear pf"

Old underwear

You know you need to keep it because that’s your period underwear. The underwear that is oversized, worn out, has holes in it, and maybe other period stains. Why wear anything else on your period?! But there is a special place under the bed for those when a guy comes over.

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Tub of peanut butter

Or anything else that points to the fact you binge eat sometimes. A tin of caramel popcorn the size of your Labrador, clipped and organized coupons for Dominoes, a pile of empty M&M bags on the floor, next to the side of the bed you sleep on.

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Piles of clothes

Hey, putting together an outfit or two every day is a lot of work! If you’re anything like me, you just let the rejected outfits pile up on a chair and put them away once a week. But when a guy comes over before that one cleaning day comes—under the bed the clothes go! Or shoved into a drawer, unfolded.

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Birth control pill

The reminder that pregnancy is a real possibility is not exactly a mood-setter.

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The book everyone’s reading

“Me? Read ‘The Hunger Games’?? Never. I’m so much more original than that’. *Pushes all “The Hunger Games” books off the table behind her*.

"Woman shaving her legs pf"

Reusable razor

Even if it’s technically a throwaway, you know you still have a few uses out of that bad boy. It’s only partially clogged with hair. But…probably best your guy doesn’t see that when he uses your shower tomorrow morning.

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Acne products

“Man I sure am glad those acne-ridden teenage years are over,” we say when we know most women have a few zits to fight even into their fifties. And when our prescription acne products are underneath the sink. When the guy’s over though, it’s nothing but Butterscotch and Candy scented body wash in the shower.

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Laxatives

Well, obviously.

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The tampons in the trashcan

It’s your house; you don’t wrap your used feminine products in toilet paper like you do in public restrooms. Nope—they’re just hanging out there in the open trashcan. And the trashcan is only half way full, so you’re not going to empty it. So…you just pile some other trash on top of the offending objects.

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  • Gary Quinn

    dirty underwear

  • guest

    I’m pretty sure men know that women use birth control, shave, have periods and poop. A guy who is grossed out because I keep birth control pills in the medicine cabinet and a shaver in my shower isn’t going to get far enough with me to need birth control.

    And throwing used sanitary products in the garbage without wrapping? Ew, no.

    The only thing I hide are documents with financial or other personal information.

  • LargoLagg

    You forgot “the underwear that last night’s date left behind”

  • boogers

    no mention of hidng the various sex toys?…..the dildos?…the vibrators?….the sybian?

  • Justanothermonkeyman

    Vibrator is not one of them? This list is nonsense.

  • Zöe C

    Wow, so the author of the article basically lies to whomever she’s seeing about the most mundane, and even perfectly natural aspects of who she is(re: bathroom habits). I think if you’re with a man who’s offended by the fact that a woman has bowel movements, eats what she wants from time to time and can get pregnant; then he’s not a real man but a silly, little boy. Besides, he shouldn’t be having sex if he doesn’t want to imagine pregnancy is indeed a real possibility! If he’s so worried about it, but still wants to have sex…then, the solution is simple: he should wrap it up! Ladies, never go out of yoir way like this idiotic, very immature author. My boyfriends have all picked up my BC, brought me laxetives and/ or diuretics if I ever needed them, and here’s a shocker for the author: been in my bed while I had a wicked case of the runs! I guess it’s because I don’t B.S about who I am and only date men…not boys. Also, I wonder if the author is aware of not only how disgusting leaving bloodied tampons out in the open, day after day is….but also, how incredibly unsanitary!

  • Nick70

    This is a pathetic list. So sad that American men and women have become so insecure. No wonder American relationships don’t last. Get over yourselves and just be yourselves.

  • lyla

    This is a ridiculous article. If you are having him spend the night, hopefully he knows you well enough that you can be yourself. If it’s just a fling, who cares if he sees your mess. As to the tampons–that is just gross. Nobody visiting wants to see that, I don’t want to see that in my own bathroom!

  • Leah Robinson

    Gross!!! I always wrap up my tampons no matter where I am!

  • Nyomi

    I hide important papers.

  • just me

    only 2 things on this list that i hide…feminine products, clothes if i havent folded them and put them away

  • Red Jessica

    he only thing I hide when my boyfriend comes over is my s*x toys, adult DVDs and important papers like check stubs from my job or my bank statement. I don’t want him to think I’m a freek in the bed yet (we haven’t had intercourse yet) and how much money I have and we’ve been dating for 8 months.

    • Red Jessica

      *The