“We Be All Night — The Marginalization Of One Minute Men:” The 13 Most Hilarious #BeyonceThinkPieces

December 18, 2013 ‐ By
Source: Twitter

Source: Twitter

In case you hadn’t noticed, which we’re sure you have, everyone is taking Beyonce’s latest album a wee bit too seriously. The first time the woman who’s been criticized her entire life for being too private decided to get extra open about her personal and bedroom business, the critics came knocking, calling her everything from a faux feminist to sexually explicit. Some argued Baddie Bey was suddenly telling us too much about her life, while others decided the fact that she was telling her truth and no one else’s was a problem.

Enter Slate’s article, “Hey Mrs. Carter — What About The Gays?,” in which writer Matt Capetola says he feels “slapped in the face by the paucity—no, the patent absence—of explicitly homosexual characters” in Beyonce’s “Haunted” video. Proving that there truly is no limit to doing the absolute most when it comes to reading too far into Beyonce’s work, Capetola scolded Beyonce for the fact that her album “featured not a single unambiguous nod to LGBTQ rights,” as if that was somehow her cross to bear. I’m personally more disturbed that he thought she would.

Either way, Black Twitter got a hold of this article, like everything else, and decided to put forth their own suggestions for nonsensical #BeyonceThinkPieces. Essentially this is what could happen if a grad student somewhere decided to put together a heinously over-thought dissertation based on Beyonce’s basic a** lyrics. And, as usual, it is hilarious.


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  • Wtf?

    lol uuummm… sooo Drake, Lil Wayne, Kanye, Two Chainz, Nikki Minaj, & nasty-girl Rihanna can ALL talk, suuuper explicitly, about their discusting sex lives all day er’ day, but when Beyonce stops singing about girl power & starts talking about her vaggy activities, ppl have a problem?! idc for to hear about anyone’s anything, but please, WHAT is the DIFF??!

  • On the street

    Stop saying Beyoncé is known to be secretive…yea…when????

  • On the street

    Seriously??? When have Beyoncé and Jay ever been quiet about their relationship or anything else they ever do and have done…these people are attention getters, that’s what they do, from the marriage to the baby Ivy…all was not a secret. That said…gay people need to get over it….you can’t compare race to being gay….being gay is a personal sexual desire for the same sex…..GET IT….YOU want to kiss, lick and have sex with the same SEX which has nothing to with black people, we can’t change our race, plus, white gays may experience discrimination but they still will be given respect before a black person. Also, stop comparing your lack of respect with the black people because there are more races in the world.

  • De-Anne

    WTF! LOL! People are really tripping for real! This is a personal quest for paying homage to their “own” sex life with “one another”, PERIOD! LLS! Why are folks making this into a foolish smack in the face? Mama always said, don’t feed the cats because they will never leave, HA! SHEW!

  • Charma

    This was funny to me! Just let ppl live their damn lives…ppl sometimes got too many opinions about other ppl’s actions but take too few actions themselves to be satisfied in their own life. Quick to opine, slow to act. smh

  • Marina Calis

    Nothing against Bey but you must always keep your sex life private…if you put it out there folks will talk.You can talk about some aspects but the sex life should be off limits.

    • SharonRose

      So true, between two people.

    • De-Anne

      True. That is the lesson to be learned I guess………….

  • whogivesAFuh?

    I can’t wait for B.I.c. birthday to be over next month so the inundation of Beyonce can cease. We get it, she dropped an album with no promo. I mean are we no longer excited about aunties dressing next week and seeing our favorite cousin? Her job is to entertain she did it whoopty do.

  • Indigo

    smh,, lack luster

  • Baddvixentype

    none of this was funny…smh, disappointment.

  • Tehara

    White gays… they’re almost worst than white women…

  • Krystal

    i don’t have anything against the lgbtq community, BUT why do they always feel the need to complain when artist don’t use them in their art???? this is not the first time. dang, i know some black people complain as well about the lack of diversity in television and movies, but even then, it’s like you get some, you lose some. the lgbtq community makes it seem like artist don’t show love at all. everybody (well i do) loves you all, but not everyone’s gonna get it tattooed across their foreheads.

    • Nel

      Honestly, I think it has a lot to do with the lack of representation in the media. The same goes for people of color. You’re talking about two severely marginalized groups that don’t get appropriate representation in popular culture. The amount that people within the LGBTQ community get exposure in the media (in a manner that is not degrading or demeaning) is, not only quite small, but also not proportional to the size of the population. The exact same thing goes for people of color. How many times do you see a tv show where pretty much every single main and background character is white? The media likes to pretend that LGBTQ people and people of color don’t exist and when it /does/ acknowledge their existence, it’s usually as comedic relief. When you have such a prominent celebrity not be inclusive, especially one who claims to identify with various equal rights movements, it seems to send the message that this marginalized group of people is either not worth representing, no longer “needs” representation or, even worse, that exposure for this marginalized group was a fad and now it’s over. I think this struck such a heavy chord with some of the LGBTQ community because Beyonce /has/ such a large following of LGBTQ people. That’s just my take on it though.