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My dating drought was finally over. I had found a guy that I enjoyed talking to and hanging out with, and even better is that we shared so much in common. Unfortunately, we had too much in common. His flaws were shockingly similar to mine, and while you would think this would make us relate to each other better, there was one flaw that I just couldn’t tolerate. He was moody. And while I know that every person comes with a set of inadequacies, moodiness is one trait that I cannot handle, specifically in a man.

Unfortunately, life is full of double standards when it comes to men and women, and most times it seems that women get the shorter end of the stick. Men are able to get away with much more, simply because of their gender, but women are bound by society’s standards of what it means to be a ‘lady’. Now, usually I am an advocate for battling double standards, but I stand firm in the fact that I don’t think men are allowed to be me. Yes, I said allowed.  Sure, men are human too (I guess), but moodiness is usually something that is associated with women, specifically during hormonal changes that men don’t have. So in my opinion, they’re not allowed a ‘moody pass’, one that we’re given a few days out of a month.

I’m sure no one is writing ‘moody’ in their list of desirable traits in a mate, but most men probably assume that occasional moodiness accompanies every woman. Hello! That’s why the term “PMS-ing” is real. But let’s be clear, this sometimes offensive verb is designated for women only.

My new guy was extremely nice and funny. We clicked and totally connected. He was consistent with this attitude for the first few weeks, but then when I got to know him, I started seeing the real him. The one that would randomly creep out of his personality sporadically and then go away just as fast as it came.

Initially, I thought he was just not feeling me anymore and didn’t know how to say it, but it was confusing because he wanted to hang out and talk to me often. Finally, he decided to confide in me. He said that many of his relationships in the past didn’t last because women complained about his moodiness. He also said that because we shared the same zodiac sign (Capricorn), he was sure I would understand. He was wrong–I didn’t.

Men are usually thought to be more stable in their emotions, at least with things other than relationships. So the ‘one minute you’re happy, 10 minutes later you’re sad and want to be left alone’ attitude coming consistently from a man threw me for a loop; and needless to say I wasn’t feeling him. Translation: I wasn’t feeling my guy anymore and my dating drought was back on.

Some may say I missed out on a possible love connection, but I think I saved myself a lot of emotional drama. If he can’t figure out what do with his own emotions, I most certainly couldn’t trust him with mine.

Ladies, have you ever dated a moody man and how was your experience? Is ‘moodiness’ something you won’t tolerate either?

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