The Innumerable Problems Behind “Why Every Black Woman Should Marry A Jewish Man”

335 comments
December 10, 2013 ‐ By

Source: Honeybrownemarriesjewishman.blogspot.com

Somewhere along the way, MadameNoire got the reputation of being the Black Women’s website that promotes interracial dating and marriage and all that. Perhaps it was because of articles like this one. Whatever the case, I feel the need to say that while we believe you should keep your options open when it comes to finding love, you shouldn’t begin your quest with skin tone or racial and ethnic modifiers. And personally, I, Veronica, believe that while black men are flawed like all men, you’ll never catch me out here denouncing all of them. There are enough people outside of our race who do that already. I would think the universal truth that characteristics that make a good partner are not predicated by race and ethnicity is understood by all. But apparently, it’s really not because Dr. Nazaree Hines-Starr, a full time pharmacist and author, recently published a book called Why Every Black Woman Should Marry A Jewish Man. 

Yes ya’ll, every black woman. Before I even begin to dissect the problematic nature of such a premise, let me just share a bit of Hines-Starr’s background and the reasoning she shares for dating and marrying a Jewish man.

All throughout college, graduate school and all of her twenties Hines-Starr, a black woman, dated only black men who shared her religious background. And after that all she had to show for it were a group of men she placed in what she calls the “Scumbag Files.” But Hines-Starr did not give up on love. Instead, she went to the internet and joined an interracial dating site called AfroRomance.com. Let’s pause right here for a minute. I can understand, perhaps, why a black woman would be drawn to a site called Afro Romance but I’m a little perplexed as to why people of other ethnicities would go there unless they’re trying to fulfill some type of chocolate fantasy. But that’s just me. Admittedly, I’m a bit paranoid about such things.

Anyway, looking at the site, I’m guessing Hines-Starr selected “white” for her preferred race and it wasn’t long before she met “Michael, a professional, never-married Jewish man who was two years her junior.”

And apparently, Hines-Starr believes you can do the same. In fact, the way the world is set up right now, you might not even have a choice. She provides the following statistics: “According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there were 1.8 million more black women than black men in 2000, and that number has not improved since then. That means that if every black man in America married a black woman today, many women hoping to marry a black man would not make it down the aisle.”

Shivers

And then, according to a press release Hines-Starr lists reasons why Jewish men are the new hotness for black women.

- They are the perfect Alpha Male.

– Many African American men and non-Jewish men fall short in the romance department

-Jewish men open wide instead of down low (Is that a sexual innuendo I failed to grasp?)

– Jewish men are not looking for someone to take care of them

– Jewish men attend and graduate college

– Jewish men at least attempt to marry before making babies

-Jewish men are great with financial planning and stability

– Jewish men don’t take everything as a challenge to their masculinity

-Jewish men are often raised with traditional gender roles where the men seek to take care of the women.

That’s enough. Do you see the problems here? Hines-Starr successfully manages to stereotype two groups simultaneously. On the one hand she dogs out black men, calling them unromantic, uneducated, uncommitted and unstable all while lauding not only her Jewish man but all Jewish men above the rest. I think somewhere along the way, people lost sight of the fact that just because a stereotype is positive, it’s still a stereotype. When you reduce people down to a few characteristics, it robs them of their humanity, which is complex.

I wonder if it ever occurred to Hines-Starr that while there are certain culture attitudes that are passed down from generation to generation, the emphasis on education, family and financial security are not just things the Jewish community cares about.

I wonder if in regard to her own dating history if she ever considered the fact that it wasn’t that the men she dated were scumbags because they were all black but because they were just scumbags. And furthermore, since this synopsis seems to present her as blameless in her own dating history, I wonder if she ever stopped to ask herself why she kept attracting and then tolerating scumbags?

I know that since there are far too many, black men berating and degrading black women, some of you will argue that she’s just looking out for numero uno, giving them a taste of their own medicine, trying not to be left behind as she pledges allegiance to black men and black men alone. And I get that. I’m not saying limit your options. If you can, of course you should be open to love regardless of the package it comes in. I just hope black people, men and women alike, haven’t reduced the phenomenon of finding love into some type of calculated trip to the market where you pass up the brand you’ve known and grown up with in favor of something new and exotic.

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  • yahsha

    i would also love to state most of the time black women keep making the wrong choice when it comes to men the TV idea of a man is an illusion you should wait until the right time and man that is mature comes along by then both of you will be mature enof to make a family and black men don’t destroy their communities who ever said that made an error black people destroy their community.note Hitler did not say Jewish men are the problem he said Jews are, men women and children. dont think that people outside your race looks at it as the black man problem no they will see it as the black problem. i would now go and start working on us if we are to have a place as a race in this new world orde

  • yahsha

    All the time every where i go i see nothing good highlighted about black people, they are savages they are womanizing they are hoes , starving and having sex with monkeys in Africa, i have heard that black race is the worst. when i was growing up i thought that being black was a sickness every other race hates us whites enslaved us Jews hate us Arabs look down on us Chinese, Japanese treat us like crooks, brown (light skin) Africans hate us and the worst we are all we have and even we hate us, its sad, my grandmother who was black and aunts use to curse if i did something wrong telling me how black i am as if to say that it was my problem maybe black means stupid,ugly,sin,failure,faulty,curse maybe they where right maybe being black makes you a bad person,maybe being a hardworking honest loving peaceful strong good person has to do with race and color. it might just be that when you look at someone and they are black you should attribute all the negatives to that person the individual dose not matter only his race and color. then what does that make the black person saying that about another.

  • mr kind…

    well concerned ready guess what?? if we take away every black ball player rapper, black officers that were able to get thru becus the 1 and 3 rule kicked the Charles manson /Jeffrey dahmer type of you off the force you wud still have more employed black men percentage wide than you since you and the ones I described are all in jail and meth programs all over the world…

  • Aestu

    What you are saying makes sense in practice for an individual Black woman, but the problem becomes, as KJ1985nj says, when you predicate policy for Black women on abandoning Black men and Black communities as a lost cause.

    And I have no doubt your actual practice of what you preach is heavily reliant on tax dollars not going towards Black men and Black communities but to individual Black women.

  • Sass

    This onslaught of propaganda that tries to convince black women that marrying a white man will solve all their problems is just cashing in on this self hate. I’m not opposed to BW/WM marriages but I, like most educated middle class un married black women of a certain age know, we are not the ones who need convincing. Hines Starr and her fellow sociology pimps know it. The vast majority of white men (yes including jewish) will not marry black women. The value of our stock is too low to be seen as desirable partners for ambitious, status oriented men. There are exceptions but they are just that, exceptions. Let’s stop kidding ourselves. And as long as black men hold on to the self hate, they’ll keep buying into the bs.

    • Ebony in Hartford

      There are so few black women open to dating and marrying out, that we hardly need “the vast majority of white men” to pair off with. Every woman just needs one man to be her ‘exception’. When I was in college and dating as a 20something, it was just as likely that I’d come across cute white guys I meshed with as black or other guys, in some cases way more likely. White guys are everywhere. Black women need to mix it up and start socializing outside of all black settings. Black men have been doing it for decades while black women are alone trying to hold up ‘the community’. Often I’ll go to an irish pub, dive bar or alterna concert and the place will have dozens of black men with their multiracial groups of friends and I will be the only or one of less than a handful of black women.

      Stay in all black settings if you want to, but don’t come crying years later when nothing has changed for you.”The value of our stock is too low to be seen as desirable partners for ambitious, status oriented men. ” I never ever believed I had a low stock. Women with low self-esteem are not a good look to ambitious, status-oriented men. If a black woman wants to date men who are not black, she will.

  • t

    bro this is a lil old but godamn you going in fam! im lwarning things! lol

  • Eric Bowens

    sad

  • Rev. George Brooks

    Jewish men, AND WOMEN, are some of the earth’s most degraded people on God’s earth. This Jewish man may have, or may be, sleeping with his sister, cousin, or even his mother. And I say mother, because I’ve know one of two Jew dudes that we sleeping with their mother, TRUTHFULLY! And even since biblical times they have been doing so with other members of their families. Even Abraham was married to his half-sister, and Moses to his great aunt. And I know so many that sleep with cousins, I can’t count them all. And if this guy is not sleeping with other women, he must be one sorry example of a Jewish man, because all Jewish men have other women. They even do a lot of swapping at parties, which I am well aware of, having lived in Los Angeles, San Francisco and New York. So this chick is half nuts, if not more. And sounds like she did a lot of sleeping around too, before meeting up with this oddball-looking freak. — Rev. George Brooks

  • eric carroll

    I don’t want to date outside my race i love black women to much to do that ,i can’t do it i like black women cause we as a black man and black women have something in common we share the same cultures do you see. Where i’m coming from ?

  • May

    Sounds like there is an identity issue on her part! She feels this need for this Jewish man to make her feel whole! No one can make you feel whole except YOU! If you depend on someone or something to make you feel whole, they will disappoint you ever time! It’s NOT their job to make you feel whole! Ah-shey! ah-shey! Life is good! Sounds like she needs to read my book “Women Of Timelessness” and “Mirror Image!”

    • Ebony in Hartford

      If she said black women should marry only a ‘strong black man’ you would be applauding her, even if she were 40+ and her eggs were drying up. Of course she needs her Jewish husband to feel whole; that’s her man! She married him so she must feel like she can’t live without his companionship. Why else do people get married? Sounds like YOU have an ‘identity’ issue, or a jealousy one.

  • TheBigCheeFa

    lol why not just a good man period???a white man or a mexican man are no better than the next man.we all make mistakes.some just got more money and a better lifestyle than the other

  • Yah

    Black men, particularly the Hollywood coons, are truly Judas. Black men and their hateful actions against Black women have proven them to be the ultimate Judas. Much of this stems from their almost psychotic need to compete with their own women. Thus many are jealous of Black women, and although they won’t admit it, most Black men are VERY jealous of seeing Obama married to a dark skinned Black woman, with two Black daughters. Very jealous, and their jealousy has made them evil towards black women.

    • Guest

      oh, shut up with yo paranoid a$$

  • Mathilde

    This reminds me of one of those posts where non-Asian men think they have to marry an Asian girl because they are “submissive” and “dirty in the bedroom”. I’m not a Jewish man, but I know how I felt when I read that posts about Asian girls; a little nauseated.

  • http://www.stpetersburgcounseling.org/ John Gregorio Wood II

    Does she end up marrying that Jewish guy?

    • Ebony in Hartford

      YES. And she probably didn’t have to wait half a decade for him to make up his mind either

    • Ebony in Hartford

      Yes

  • Temple

    Dámn, sistas are really shítting all over brothas nowadays. I guess that is the way it’s going to be now. Make sure black men know they are inferior to every other man on earth. Black people in America are truly lost. SMDH.

    • MEH

      Because BM haven’t been doing this to black women for years right? Karma is a real bey-otch.

      • PTSD

        That’s interesting. White men ráped, sódomized and impregnated black women and black girls for 350 years but BW give them a pass. Instead, they seek to punish black men by pursuing relationships with the very tribe of men who ráped, sódomized and impregnated them. POST TRAUMATIC SLÁVERY DISORDER!

        • 9Boots

          I would like to thank BM for giving BW the following number one spots:
          Highest murder rate of all women in America
          Highest rate of rape and sexual abuse
          Lowest marriage rate in America

          Thank you BM. You guys are awesome!

          • k

            You sound mentlly ill! I think you need help. It is simply not normal for someone to have such intense hatred for a member of their own tribe. You actually sound dangerous!

            • 9Boots

              I’ll tell you what is dangerous. BM have murdered so many BW, we have the highest murder rate. You should care about that and then come back to me later about how I sound dangerous.

          • guest

            Some brotha must have done a real job on you! Your hatred of brothers is scary. I must ask though, what would you do if a handsome, decent and educated brother found you attractive and wanted you to give him a chance? What would your reaction be?

            • 9Boots

              I do not hate BM. I hate black misogyny. My reaction is neither here nor there.

            • Ebony in Hartford

              LOL I have two brothers, and I am not interested in dating either of them.

      • Temple

        And what have white men done to black women for years? Oh yeah, karma and revenge only apply to your own men.

        • kj1986nyc

          Well, it’s very telling and borderline psychotic, outside of the realms of reality. Black women just better pray America doesn’t fall.

          • 9Boots

            Or what will happen?

        • 9Boots

          WM give BW jobs. How many BW are stay at home mother because their black king is providing them? How many companies do BM own..oh that’s right, close to ten, not enough to employ BW.

          • guest

            I have never seen ANYBODY champion white men with as much passion as you do. What is wrong with you? You seem unbalanced.

            • 9Boots

              It is called pointing out facts. The question was “what have white done?” I stated the truth. If you don’t like the facts, BM can change their behavior and then they will have better outcomes in their facts.

      • kj1986nyc

        Yeah for years, how many? Because growing up all I heard was how black men “aint schit”, on NATIONAL TELEVISION. I believed it too until I grew up and saw black women for what they were, a parasite. Not only a parasite, but a parasite with a total disdain for the host she chose! Haven’t ever seen a black man on NATIONAL TELEVISION make such a proclaimation.

  • b3

    Hines-Starr also ignores that there are Black Jews…. All over the world.

    • http://www.stpetersburgcounseling.org/ John Gregorio Wood II

      Exactly!

  • Really?

    Actually my mom held 3 jobs and a dream and dreaded the idea of being on anyone’s oppressive payroll. Now 3 out of 4 in my family have served in the military and have sought education, please don’t generalize.

    • Aestu

      What all those jobs have in common is they are make-work paid for by taxpayers with no intrinsic value. It’s true of military welfare, and I’m willing to bet the fourth job was some kind of political make-work too.

  • Coco Christian

    Footnote: in 1963, only 24% of all Af Am families had no man in the home. Now 2013, its a whopping 72% that have no man in the household! Asians had only 17% fatherless family, the best record . Whites 24%, Hispanics 43% and even the Native Ams were better off then us at 53%. Interracial marriages have to be a consideration, especially to professional educated Af Am women. Seriously,Quit playing…cant deny yourself a full life if you can get it from a non black partner, ya know? 10-4

    • stewwie

      why did the number go from 24% to 72%,,,,,i will give you a clue feminism and welfare…..

      • MEH

        I’ll give you another one- Integration.

        • stewwie

          Yes a false sense of “Integration” in to a society which didn’t want you to Integrate. I don’t know if you know this but this country is still very much segregated.

          Not to mention what does integration has to do with the distraction of the black family ? you sound stup!d !!

          The simple truth is black women chose welfare over family and White feminism over their own men and community. As provisions in welfare laws offered ever-increasing economic incentives for shunning marriage and avoiding the formation of two-parent families, illegitimacy rates rose dramatically. And black women got hoodwinked by white feminist in to proclaiming how much they don’t need a man.

          Read some history…..

          • MEH

            Maybe you need to read some more history. Maybe add in some sociology and psychology as well. It is a lie that AA women took to Feminism the same way WW did. Most black women shunned Feminism in favor of Civil Rights because they often asked to choose their race over their gender. The Feminist movement of the 60s was predominately a white woman’s movement not a black or woman of color’s movement.

            Integration, though it was necessary, left black people unfocused on the goals of black unity and power- which is directly correlated to preserving the black family. We were distracted by now having access and entry to white society and what white people had (although limited) instead of continuing to focus on creating our own.

            • stewwie

              lol….and now you are advocating erasing black people thru interracial marriage….

              • 9Boots

                There are millions of blacks in Africa! Interracial marriage in America won’t put a dent in the black race quit being simple. Furthermore, go take that logic to the BM marrying and breeding oow children interracially.

                • stewwie

                  we are from Africa but we are not Africans, They have their own culture and history and we have ours.

                  • 9Boots

                    BW do not exist to be breeders. We are here to be loved, married, and taken care of.

            • kj1986nyc

              black women did NOT shun the feminist movement, they embraced it. I’m calling you a liar, because you’re lying in your post and about history. The same results would have occurred without integration, just look at Brazil! Feminism is more about consumption, how and where women spend money. Women are big spenders and low savers, without a man, they’d rely on government for what they need, and use their own money for what they want, even at the expense of their children. Do white women actually believe in feminism? Or did they just want to earn their own money, while they have access to their white husband’s money, and 98 percent of black people’s money. White women just never included you black women into their scheme.

  • Coco Christian

    All potential intimate partnerships MUST be examined, turned inside out and shaken out and watch closely for 90 days to 6 months. Non-black men too!

  • Coco Christian

    Relax dreamers and haters, Only about 10% of the marriages in America are interracial anyway. Don’t expect that to increase much. They’re facing bitter divorces too.
    Least likely that a great deal of $$$ and assets will be involved in these marriages as well. Don’t believe the hype that white men are longing to be with black women of the urchin type or at all, unless the whiteman is an urchin too. That’s common ground they have.
    Most interracials meet in colleges, post graduates, or very financially progressive, professional environments. ( Mellody Hopson met George Lucas at a Professional conference). That happens for Af Ams because only 6% Af Ams that go, finish undergraduate school, less finish post graduate and doctorates. So that small group of AfAm, by default, tend to marry out of the race. For some, that’s common ground.
    Last, most anybody will welcome someone successful into the family, unless dysfunctional. Remember: There are black folks, then they’re the black urchins. No one wants to be married to failures, addiction, crime, mental illness, dead beat, low educated, low life, or trash, with criminal histories and drama. Im just saying… we can close the “library” and stop “reading” each other. Now, whose ready for the holidays?! LOL

    • 9Boots

      Black women and white male marriages have the lowest divorce rates even when compared to WW/WM. I don’t know why so many BW say WM are not looking for BW. May sister and I are constantly approached by WM. Also 13% of marriages in U.S. are interracial and just because that number is low, it does not mean it will always be that way. Remember 10 years ago most people in the U.S. were anti gay marraige. Now the majority of Americans are pro gay marriage.

      • guest

        99% of white men would never MARRY a black woman. Just because a white man approaches you doesn’t mean he is interested in a serious relationship. That is what so many black women don’t understand. BW WM marriages last much longer than WW WM marriages for one reason. Black women will do virtually ANYTHING to keep a white mn. What else could it possibly be? That BW are more compatible with WM than their own women? That is delusional thinking.

        • kj1986nyc

          The fact black women, white male marriages have the the lowest divorce rate is just simple female hypergamy. High status male-low status female. Considering women file 75-80 percent of divorces, them getting a white man is like winning the lottery. Why do you think they have to write books about this? A sizable number a black women will be lucky if even a black man marries them, let alone a white man.

          • 9Boots

            Since a sizable number of BW will be lucky to marry a BM it makes sense to increase your dating and marrying options to other men, especially the men with the LARGEST population size, you know, 5 times the size of BM.

          • Toni Osinubi

            Smh so rude. White men all the way!!!

        • 9Boots

          Are you the Most High God that is omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient? Tell it to all the BW that are married and engaged to WM. Maybe you should dig deeper and realize maybe BM are the one’s that cause the high black divorce rate. That raggedy 2 out of 3 black marriages end in divorce. BM are also the one’s refusing to even get married. The common denominator is BM.

      • p

        You sound absolutely crazy! How brainwashed can you be? Do you actually believe that white men will replace their own women with black ones? WTF have you been drinkng? Most white men are racist and want nothing whatsoever to do with sistas. Except sèx. How can yu be so delusional?

        • 9Boots

          You are a truth suppressor. BW are already married to WM and many more are engaged and we will continue to do so.

    • thatguy0011

      I’m a man and I agree 1000%… No disrespect intended but I wonder why I’ve been called names for rejecting women I didnt think were up to my standard, and my standards arent that high.

  • FleurtyLaGirl

    Ok, let’s see where do I begin with this…First off, I’m a black woman, with a black father, a black husband and two black sons. I have grown up in the hood and out of it. I had one son prior to getting married to my husband. There are good black men out there, who want to be married and have a functioning family. I’ll even go as far to say, there are good men out there period. Race should not be a determining factor in falling in love and getting married. There are just as many bad men of all races as there are good ones. Financial security does not equate to happiness either. My credit, nor education(material things) has nothing to do with love! One has to first know that they can be loved and ready to accept it in order to attract it.

    • visthename

      I find that many in our community has an issue with bw having an expection of financial security in our relationships. I find too many women are taking care of men. Many of us dont want that. We have a right take have a decent home and car, vacations, retirement plans, paid off bills, etc. Love doesnt feed the children. So stop telling women to forego financial security for a warm body in their beds. I entered my marriage financially correct and I expected that from my husband. My husband, like many men who make a abovw average salary, didnt want a financial deadbeat for his spouse and as a bw I can expect the same.

      • thatguy0011

        Hahaha, I’m a man and I agree 1000%. Not trying to be too manly but I couldnt see myself laying at home chilling while my wife is out working make the money. Circumstances do happen but proper education and skills and personal drive do avoid long periods of unemployment or mishaps. But I agree with you. I dont know how or why women do that…I would feel less of a man..

  • Suchalady

    We must’ve have read two different excerpts. Hers was filled with generalizations and negative stereotypes. Also, I don’t think that author was saying that people besides black people can’t look for love on a black site but that it raises an eyebrow. Whether you want to believe it or not, there are white men looking to fulfill some “chocolate fantasy” out there, and they’ve made no qualms about it. DIg deeper.

    • 9Boots

      “there are white men looking to fulfill some “chocolate fantasy” out there, and they’ve made no qualms about it. DIg deeper”

      Yes, some just want to sex BW just like MOST BM just sex BW and never marry them nor raise their children

    • Aestu

      Why is a “chocolate fantasy” a bad thing? You’d rather men not find you attractive?

  • Christine

    … You said this woman was a Dr? Educated? An intellectual? How is it possible for her have such a basic and narrow view of other people, men in particular? I don’t mean to imply that uneducated people are simple minded; I’m jsut surprised by this woman’s attitude… Moreover, she’s assuming that being Jewish means that you possess certain physical and biological attributes. However, that’s a misconception. The Jewish race is not limited to people of white skin, and adhering to the Jewish religion (which makes you Jewish) can also be done by a person of any race. The concept of race itself is ambiguous!!! Therefore, AN AFRICAN AMERICAN CAAAAAN BE JEWISH. But that aside, what she’s preaching is just wrong and quite disapointing. If you have your preference, fine. Just don’t fool yourself into thinking that stereotypes and generalisations are acceptable or even true. It’s what makes them steretypes and generalisations. Duh.

  • Shais Rishon

    just because someone is jewish and non-white doesnt mean theyre NOT ethnically jewish. and i dont mean b/c theyre biracial either.

  • Lee

    How about “why every black woman should marry a good man” and just leave it at that?

    • Straight Up

      Because that’s not provocative enough to sell books

  • Shais Rishon

    yes. because jewish men are incapable of being african-american men.

  • ChaRey111

    STOP. I repeat STOP entertaining the trolls. Especially if you are not the “stereotypes” they are depicting black women to be in their posts. Waste of time. Last time I checked this article was about A Black Women who pretty much degraded Black Men because of the poor choices SHE made by picking them. That’s how I interpret it anyway. Rather you’re Black, White, Asian (etc..) they is SOME Type of stereotype about your race out there with some bullshit “facts” to back it up. As disrespectful as these claims are, they should not affect you if you do not live that life they are stereotyping. I say that to say this, don’t respond to ignorance.

    • ChaRey111

      *there*

  • coolyfett

    I like to give a black women on this site a hug and a kiss on the forehead. I like to give all the brothas some dap and pat on the back. Lets love each other yall. These comments hurt both sides yall. The streets is watching. Peace

  • Greg Thrasher

    Majority of Jews in America are white and they reflect the same mindset..

  • hollyw

    I couldn’t even get through the whole article. I’m sorry, I’m sure it was good, but I got about 3 items firm the list and just couldn’t take it anymore. This is gross. Racist propaganda. I could care less if she IS Black and a doctor; she’s obviously too ignorant and scarred to have any more common sense left in her head. Let em have her.

  • DCVAguy01

    I’m a black male and I agree 100% with what you wrote, besides the black men that bash black women, I love black women but man its hard to find a good one..

  • thatguy0011

    Just look at yall, seriously, look at yall. Going back and forth about black man this and black man that…and black woman this, black woman that. I swear we have to be about the stupidest race on this planet(not really). Why are we doing this? Because we had a few bad experiences with the opposite sex? Cmon yall if thats not the pettiest ish, I dont know what is. I’m a 30 year old black man, no kids, tall/handsome, in washington DC, a IT professional making close to 100K/year, and I’ve had several bad experience with black women but I tell you one thing, I WILL NEVER devalue or disrespect my black women. Its equivalent to disrespecting your mother and father.

    I’ll address a few issues amongst our race and hopefully you will take heed

    1. There are good black men and good black women, as well as bad black men and bad black women….simple as that! Its life..if everyone was good this would be just a “Jolly ole’ Great” place wouldnt it? But its not, so start surrounding yourself with like minded/driven, educated and successful people, humble, open-minded people and you well see change…I promise!

    2. The people who have the nerve to bash and disrespect there own race (black people), are the MAIN PROBLEM and they need to seek help ASAP!

    3. For the black women who bash black men and complain they are all dogs and aint worth sh*t, and uneducated heathens, on the DL, with STDs and all that non-sense…you need to adjust your lifestyle or surroundings, because I dont know where you reside but here in the Washington DC area, I know NOTHING but well educated, young, handsome, well-dressed (in quality suits and italian made dress shoes), smart, down-to-earth, career/professional men making 75K plus salary, with no kids, that desire a good woman in there life. UNDERSTAND MY WORDS WOMEN!! I SAID A GOOD WOMAN!! So again, you might need to look in the mirror and reevalute yourself, before you go about pointing fingers.

    4. My beautiful black women STOP having kids by lames! STOP IT!!!! You lay down with 28+ yr old, lame sorry a$$ men claiming they are trying to do better and blah blah blah blah, they arent going to change. Then you complain about your deadbeat “baby father” aint sh*t…well YOU aint sh*t either cause you allowed that “aint sh*t” boy to skeeet in you and impregnant you!!! I’M A MAN, I know MEN, more than likely if a man dont have it together by late 20’s early 30’s, they wont have it together. Stop trying to be a guys Mom!
    FYI – baby mamas are NOT, I mean NOT attractive to professional men with no kids like myself looking for a black queen. Most of us see you as used goods, especially if you have a child by a sorry man…. real talk!

    3. Whats with the “men are trailing women in higher degrees and in professional/careers”. I have a question, SINCE when has then became a “rat race” or a “one upman” ?? Since when is it a competition of who has more than someone else. Come together and help the people that are helping themselves but need alittle push. Stop with this “I got more than a black man, black need to catch up, BS” There are many blue collar men doing well for themselves, that have no kids and make a decent living.

    4. For the black men, tighten up brothers. Stop going out here impregnanting all these d*mn women. use protection. Black men, educate yourself, master a trade or start a LEGIT business. Stop trying to become a rapper or a basketball player, because the odds are NOT in your favor, everybody in the hood can rap and shot a basketball…THINK ABOUT! Pull up your pants, TALK like you have some sense. Black men, stop being so d*mn aggressive, why do we always have to fight each other, why do we have to beat are chest like some untamed animals to prove are masculinity, just STOP IT!! Real men dont have to prove there masculinity that way, real women will recognize it from how you carry yourself.

    For closure: My black men and women; cherish and love your MIND, BODY and SOUL, feed your mind with good music, love, good material that can be useful in life, Love your BODY, stop with all that trashy tattoos, stay fit, work out, eat healthy (dont no man want no fat woman, that goes for men too!!), be SOULFUL, have meaning and a purpose in life, there’s more to life than “Get Money”, “who has a better car”, “Se*” and “trying to out due someone”..

    • 9Boots

      Come holla at us when BW no longer have the highest murder rate of women. Come back when BW don’t have the highest sexual abuse rates all at the hands of BM. BM GET IT TOGETHER!

      • thatguy0011

        You sound silly…where do you live, Chi-Iraq?? Or in some “Hood”??

        • 9Boots

          I know you probably don’t pay attention to facts and all but damn. Go educate yourself.

    • Really…really??

      1. Can you say with a straight face that there are plenty/some/enough black men like you in our community? No Kids, decent salry, stable, good Job, and not dating White women exclusively.
      2. How many of your black male friends are exclusively dating and marrying black women?
      3. Can you say with a straight face that men in your Situation arent jumping leaps and bounds to date women who arent black? We all know the higher the income the more likely a black will date and marry a woman of another race.

    • Brit

      I agree completely. That’s part of the reason I refuse to date men with kids. I don’t want a ready made family I want my own. That’s why I’m finally going to school to make something of myself. How can I say I want a man who has his stuff together when I don’t have mine together. I feel like once I get my degree I’ll be able to demand the respect I deserve. Until then I’ll just be single because I refuse to settle for the trash I was settling for. I refuse to put up with the games and lies I used to be cool with. If that makes me a sell out well I’d rather be a sell out than a fool.

      • thatguy0011

        I agree and respect that, but just because you dont have a degree doesnt not make you unworthy. I dont know you, but youre probably a good woman, but hasnt gotten it all together in the financial/education department which doesnt matter, as long as youre trying. A real man will see that YOU are a diamond and wife you up and help you…again thats what real men does. I would love to meet a woman that has eevery mental/physical quality I want, but hasnt gotten it all together with the education thing, I would be willing to help…(I just nice like that.) i.e. There’s a guy I work with, he met his wife in college, married her after they graduated, and they had 7 kids, she was a stay at home mom and he worked, it was tuff but they made it. Once the kids were early to mid teens, he wanted her to work and she also wanted to start being more productive. he assisted his through Law School, and now shes a lawyer and is probably making 200K/year while he doing probably 110K/yr. she is so grateful she blesses him with gifts, trips, other things to show her appreciation for a real man. #LOVE.. Me and my co-worker was chatting it up, and he said she just bought him a 2011 Mercedes S550 for his birthday…I’m like damn! she’s a good woman, he like I know. WE hold each other down…
        #TeamWorkMakesTheDreamWork

    • Sass

      Here here

  • Lilly

    These comments are crazy. I see that I have been blessed enough to have grown up in an environment where I regularly come into contact with responsible black men who take care of their families and black women who don’t chase welfare or idiot men. I’m thankful for that upbringing because I might have ended up with the skewed idea of black men and women that seem to be prevalent among the commenters.

    • Ebony in Hartford

      So tell us all about your husband?

      • Lilly

        I’m 20. I’m sure he’ll come in due time.

        • Ebony in Hartford

          Yep… That’s what they all say at 20. Catch me when you’re 35.

        • truthasiseeit

          I knew you were a young, inexperienced girl. My friend is a police officer with a daughter your age. She is constantly stating that what she sees day in and day out regarding black men scares her because her daughter will not have any good marriage prospect.

    • 9Boots

      I have a wonderful father and grandfather but that does not cause me to put the blinders on when it comes to the dysfunctional behavior of BM. I use my father and grandfather as the standard and these present day BM don’t hold a candlestick. So your premise is false. You don’t have to be a BW with daddy issues to be sick and tired of the dysfunction of most BM.

      • Lilly

        According to the logic that you use, you do have blinders on because the majority that you come into contact with are dysfunctional and the majority that I come into contact with are not. I don’t think that my experience obliterates yours, I just think that a lot of the commenters have a very skewed view that makes them look at black men a particular way as opposed to thinking that men of any and all races have their faults and issues. From what I’ve read, when some people see a black man or a black woman all they see are potential problems as opposed to a person with a story.

        • 9Boots

          Where did I say that I come into contact with a majority of dysfunction BM? Do you understand the mathematical law of ratios or proportions? The few good BM in YOUR circle or MY circle do not negate the facts. If there are so many good black men then why the high sexual abuse rates and the low marriage rates, and the high absentee father rates?

  • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

    My head hurts. Who gives a sh*t? I don’t know why people keep running with that “there are more black women than black men mess” Well of course there are because overall black women live much longer than black men. Now of that 1.8 million surplus how many of them are in the prime procreating and marrying age range versus, elderly, and widowed? We have to delve deeper when throwing out stats to justify dating preference. Frankly if you are a black woman who hopes to marry a college educated man likely you will need to open your racial range. But to write a book about it. I don’t get it.

  • Nikkita Michelle

    I’m all for diversity and I definitely don’t think sisters should just limit themselves to brothers. They don’t limit themselves to us. But it seems like she’s making generalizations about a race of men. There’s bad apples in all races. What’s she basically describing is a man who was raised right in a two parent home, who values family and respects his partner. Although in today’s world that’s extremely hard to find, it is out there, and is not limited to one group of men. We need to date outside of our race. If you don’t want to be a baby mama and do want to be a wife one day you need to accept the odds are not in your favor.

  • stewwie

    I have a feeling not ONE black man is going to feel bad losing her….lmao

    The funny part is bitter woman like her can’t stop talking about black men, we must be the shyt since the whole world can’t stop imitating us and talking about us !! lmao

    It is also very funny how she blames black men for black women’s woes when most black men are raised by this “independent black women”, who had them out of wedlock and put them in a such disadvantage position in the first place….. Shouldn’t black women take the blame since they raised them ?

    Sorry black women created this mess in the first place and no amount of fanciful or wishful thinking is going to make their woes go away. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; 90% of all the problems black people face comes from black women having baby out of wedlock, You fix that you fix most of our problems otherwise we will die out Sooner Or Later….

    I find it absolutely amazing that while less than half of one percent of married white people have chosen a black spouse, we spend so much time talking about dating and mating with them. We are the LAST people they want to be with. Not to mention; how much they still hate us……

    • Janae

      90% of all the problems black people face comes from black women having baby out of wedlock
      I used to criticize black women for having kids out of wedlock but black men play a huge role. These men leave their sons but other black men don’t do anything to help fix the problem. Black men just don’t do anything,

      • kj1986nyc

        don’t worry male birth control is coming soon

        • 9Boots

          Male birth control already exists, keep your zipper up, condoms, and vasectomy

          • kj1986nyc

            mutilate yourself you misandrist bedwench!

            • 9Boots

              I stated facts and this is how you react. I guess you’re one of those “Good Black men”. MN please delete this miscreant’s comment.

              • stewwie

                How about this for fact; 23 contraception option, abortion and adaption vs condom (which is not always reliable) or vasectomy (which is irreversible)…. And guess what; men don’t get pregnant.

                Females have ready access to all forms of contraception. They can take the contraceptive pill. They can take the morning-after pill. They can don the diaphragm. They can insist on condoms. They can use spermicide. They can have abortions. And they can refrain from having sex. To prevent an unwanted baby being born, women can do something before sex, during sex and after sex.

                In the west today, no man can force a woman to have a baby. It is entirely her choice. So why do bitter women and the media continue to blame men (and with such vitriol) for unwanted or undesirable pregnancies? The answer is, of course, very simple. It is the vindictive, prejudicial rhetoric of feminism which always blocks any attempts to make women responsible for anything.

                Women are in total control of their pregnancies, the woman should have total responsibility for
                any baby that she, alone, chooses to have.

      • stewwie

        That is why every one else gets married before having children, you have to be committed to each other before you decide to bring a life in to this world.
        Lets keep it real, most of this men are not thinking about pregnancy when they sleep with this women…they are just looking to nut. They are not attached to this women in anyway, that is why they can abandoned their own child so easy. I wish most of this men would care about the life they help create. They don’t care because they have made no investment at all. At the end of the day it is a woman’s decision whether or not to have the child and most of this women are choosing to keep them for many different reason, primarily for welfare….

        Another thing worth mentioning; Most black men are not creating this babies.It is a limited small number of no-good thuggish black men (whom black women love so much). There are many women who get involved with men simply because they feel a sexual attraction to them and nothing else. In many of these scenarios, the women will fall pregnant and then realize that “$exiness” doesn’t pay the bills; not even child support that is mandated by the courts.

        The truth is the people who hate black women are the ones who refuse to tell Black women the truth. It’s the Tyler Perrys, the Steve Harveys, the Lee Daniels, The Oprah Winfreys, The Shondra Rhimes, the Church Pastors, Simps and Manginas who pretend to be your friend by giving women a free pass and make excuses for their reckless, irresponsible, immoral, reprehensible or egregious behavior.

      • Concerned Reader

        I am appalled by the blatant, rampant stu pidity and overall low IQ of so many black people on here.
        You need to get a dictionary and look up “problem” and improve your reasoning skills to find out what 90% means.

        Do you SERIOUSLY think that what you wrote makes sense? I am stunned! There are thousands of black males committing murders against women of all races every day and you think having children out of wedlock causes 90% of problems? Making up percentages like that, which don’t even make sense, just tells everyone (with an education, anyhow) how much you LACK and NEED an education. This is why it is so easy for leaders to control the masses.

        Just write about something that you know.

        Why do you think baby stewwie agrees with you? He is a known hater of black women (for no reason other than he is a s lave). Read his history, and get a clue. This is why it is so hard for black women to rise. Too many are so clueless, they have no idea when they are being manipulated, lied to, used and oppressed.

        • stewwie

          You just can’t handle the truth!….you rather blame and deflect your woes on to black men. As for your ad hominem attack on me,.. I couldn’t CARE less. Your type of anti-black male, bitter black women are always perpetuate victims of someone or something….Notice how you don’t have any valid argument to what I said.

          Black males committing murders (mostly against each other) because they come from poor single homes and because they don’t have anyone to teach them how to be a man, not to mention they have to live in this racist society. You just want to demonize them and blame someone else for the same black boys your raised yourself.

          you are being inherently dishonest in you claims and you know you are just perpetuating false victimhood in order to cover up what everyone sees. This is not my opinion only, look up what white people,black people and others say and think about us…

          There is a difference between, ‘blaming’ and ‘holding someone accountable.

          • kj1986nyc

            The first person a black boy learns it’s ok to disrespect other black boys/men is from his momma and the other female adults in his family. This attitude is instilled in their sons at a very young age, especially when the boy starts developing a lot of his father’s features and mannerisms, they take their mother’s opinion about his father and project that on to other black men and go out into the streets. The vast majority of black males in prison come from single parent homes, mostly like engaging in criminal activities for female validation: whether it’s selling drugs or robbery to impress some hoodrat or killing another black man who is either a threat to a black woman, or a threat to self perception within black females. I know the truth is hard for a lot of black women to fess up to.

            • stewwie

              Absolutely…..
              Not only that… the psychological torture many black boys are subjected to by their own mother who constantly tell them how their “daddy is no good” and how he remained her of his father.

          • Concerned Reader

            Get some reading lessons, baby stewwie. I never mentioned any “woes”, so please stop pulling yours out of your a rse and confusing them with my non-existent ones.

            Awww, poor baby stewwie, you are seeing your reflection properly now? Your comments ARE anti-black female, bitter/angry black male! Finally you can see it!

            Black males commit murders against: each other, black women, black children, white women…… They are NOT all poor, some are well off as you KNOW. Read the news and check some prison records.

            You just blamed single black women for black males becoming murderers… see what I mean about you exposing yourself? FAIL!

            Please tell me where I am being dishonest. Prove it!

            In the end, God will not pardon the murderer because his father was absent. Everyone will be judged according to his/her own works, obviously, dun derhead. Do you know how pathetic this sounds….”But, but, my mother never taught me how to be a man, so … murd ered that woman because she wouldn’t go out with me…” FAIL. FAIL. FAIL. You are mi serably inadequate. A murderer has NO excuse. Try harder at your piteous defenses.

          • Concerned Reader

            Oh yea, I forgot: what racist society (for black males)? The m edia is extremely tolerant of black males for an agenda, so you can’t use that excuse anymore… for years now. Once again, you put your fungus-filled foot in your mouth. You blame everything for black males’ evil. Everything except yourselves. Read your failed essay to yourself, baby stewwie.

            Destroy the woman, destroy the race.
            Think about it, when your brain is developed.

      • 9Boots

        Janae, the only thing most BM can do is have sex

    • Straight Up

      Stewwie, exactly who is impregnating these women? Sorry to break it to you, but men are responsible for pregnancies, not women.

      • stewwie

        I don’t know if you know this but men don’t get pregnant…. lmao

        That is a typical ploy by many women to absolve their gender from responsibility is to claim that when a man has sex with a woman then it is his own fault if she ends up having a baby. Western women in general do not ‘end up’ having babies. They choose to have them.

        A man is largely held responsible for his poor choices in life. Whether is a career, woman, financially responsible for the child…etc, if a man makes a misstep in judgement, he doesn’t have a leg to stand on. He isn’t coddled, or made excuses for, by ANY gender. The problem is that in the US, especially in the black community, black women have been allowed to, for the most part, skirt responsibility for making bad choices in men, and life in general.

        But when it comes to women, We remove all responsibility from women and then provide them with free apartments to aid them in the process of single-motherhood and the production of hordes of ill-disciplined children.

  • Janae

    No superior businessmen also. Piece of advice. Stop obsessing about how many of the white man’s women you can get and compete with him in business where it matters. White men still get the best of their women and can get the best of other women. Get an education and learn to compete for REAL power with Asian and white men. While black men are walking around with their chests sticking out over being able to pull a Becky, Jewish men continue to build empires. Black men equate dating/marrying non-black women as having power. White and Asian men equate taking over the world and controlling the means of production and (unfortunately) conquering other people as power. White men are stressed because communities run by Asian men are the most productive communities with super intelligent people. They are trying to outcompete Asian men for world domination. The white women with black men are no loss to the white man. He will be just fine.

    • KIR12

      I’m good butt for the overwhelming majority of YOUNG black men it will never happen. They were raised by an uneducated hoodrat who had no relationship with the sp3rm donor.

      • Joseph Muchi

        You can have the fat obese blonde who wants to take care of you. We don’t want her anyway. We rather take care of are selves along with taking care of are women. You better watch out because we are already starting to take the best of your women. Just compare the websites devoted to black women looking for white men, compared to white women looking for black men. The contrast isn’t to bright in your favor buck-oo, if you understand what Im saying brother.

    • Aestu

      Like most Feminists of any race, you equate a small percentage of men (those with the money and power you crave) with all men, and this bias runs through all your reasoning about careerism. This is also why Feminists (especially Black women) strive after administrative jobs that are way out of their league and go into debt getting worthless BA/MA liberal arts degrees rather than going into technical fields.

  • thatguy0011

    As a black man that loves my black people and black sisters, I have to address a few issues….
    I’ll have to agree with the few post that stated; there are good black men and good black women, as well as bad black men and bad black women….simple as that! Its life..if everyone was a good this would be just a “Jolly ole’ Great” place wouldnt it? But its not, so start surrounding yourself with like minded/driven, educated and successful people and you well see change…I promise! Keep in mind, not all educated people are smart and good people, so surround yourself with people that are honest, caring and obvoiously successful.
    The people who have the nerve to bash and disrespect there own race (black people), are the MAIN PROBLEM and they need to seek help ASAP! Just like you all, I, as a well educated, tall, professional black man, have experienced some sorry a$$/walmart-type black women in my life but I would never go about disrespecting my black women, because my mother and sisters are black and NOT ALL black women are the same, you have to be stupid and ignorant to generalize an entire race/gender.
    For the black women who bash black men and complain they are all dogs and aint worth sh*t, and uneducated heathens…you need to readjust your lifestyle or surroundings, because I dont know where you reside but here in the Washington DC area, I know NOTHING but well educated, handsome, well-dressed (in quality suits and italian made dress shoes), career/professional, making 80K plus salary, no kids, well balanced black men that desire a good woman in there life, UNDERSTAND MY WORDS WOMEN!! I SAID A GOOD WOMAN!! So again, you might need to look in the mirror and reevalute yourself, before you go about pointing fingers. Also, STOP having kids by lames! STOP IT!!!! You lay down with lame sorry a$$ men claiming they are trying to do better and blah blah blah blah, more than likely he WONT change! Then you complain about your deadbeat “baby father” aint sh*t…well YOU aint sh*t cause you allowed that “aint sh*t” man to skeeet in you and impregnant you!!! I’ve seen this happen soooooooooo many times, its sad. Stop trying to be a mans Mommy! JUST STOP! FYI – baby mamas are NOT, I mean NOT attractive to professional men with no kids like myself looking for a black queen. Most of us see you as used goods, especially if you have a child by a sorry man…. real talk!
    Some food for thought for women: Men desire women that will make a good loyal wife, and a even better mother to his potential kids. Being well educated, and owning a house and cars, and having red-bottom and LV bags are great and all and bonus points but it wont attract a real man. If you go about bragging about what you have to a man one of two things WILL happen; either the real man will be turned off and check you on you shallow a$$ or a grown boy will see “dollars signs” use you, maybe get you pregnant and use you for what you have. I’ve seen this happen alot…
    For the black men, tighten up brothers. Stop going out here impregnanting all these d*mn women. use protection. Black men, educate yourself, learn a trade, start a LEGIT business. Stop trying to become a rapper or a basketball player, because the odds are NOT in your favor, everybody in the hood can rap and shot a basketball…THINK ABOUT! Pull up your pants, TALK like you hav some sense, your proper english, EBONICS is NOT English. Black men, stop trying to be so d*mn aggressive, why do we always have to fight each other, why do we have to beat are chest like some untamed animals to prove are masculinity, just STOP iT!! real men dont have to prove there masculinity, real women will recognize it from how you carry yourself and how you dress…
    For closure: my black men and women; cherish and love your MIND, BODY and SOUL, feed your mind with good music, love, good material that can be useful in life, Love you BODY, stop with all that trashy tattoos (mainly women), stay fit, work out, execrise (dont no man want no fat woman, that goes for men too!!), be SOULFUL, have meaning and a purpose in life, there’s more to life than “Get Money”, “who has a better car”, “Se*” and “trying to out due someone”…..
    Black people, love each other, if we unify we can, be the MOST POWERFUL, INFLUENTIAL race on this PLANET!! Thats real talk!!

    • sasha

      Great positive comment! Are trolls trying to keep it away from the top in favor of gender wars crap, smh

    • Suchalady

      AMEN! Smartest comment in this thread.

  • kayla

    I see what you’re saying, in that she stereotyped two different demographics. I also think she is like an outlier/extreme case of how we should look at diversity in the dating realm.Opinions like hers should be out there though, just to remind black women to keep an open mind as we search for compatible mates. What i take from it is, dont knock a Jewish man if the opportunity presents itself, give it a shot. I just am not Looking for Jewish men so we would really only cross paths by chance, which may or may not be the most realistic relationship to hope for… I do love my Black Men and still understand that ultimately open mindedness is key.

  • applesauce585

    There are good decent black men still in existence!!!!

    • 9Boots

      yes, a whole one hundred of them

    • misss

      I believe there are a small amount but its like winning a lottery.

  • bestman

    Lawd some women get a ring..then they are all of sudden they some expert! Put some years into being married then give some advice! Who cares. Be married…be happy…BYE! Do what works for you. There is no “one size fits all.”

    • sasha

      YUP. Don’t understand who downvoted this, smh.

  • RastaMermaid

    WOW!!!
    You can put whatever restraints you like on your love life, but you’re only restraining yourself. I have restraints I’m only date men, doesn’t matter what color, what religion, it only matters how I’m treated.
    Love comes in many packages, you must be open to love PERIOD!

  • 1Val

    The author’s prejudices earned her a book deal. Only in America can black self-hate make you popular and wealthy! Mental illness is a disease and she is in need of a cure.

    • 9Boots

      Right!! Like how all these black rappers got rich off of calling BW botches, hoes, and chicken heads. It’s about time BW cash in too.

      • 1Val

        All of nothing is still nothing!

  • Courtney Banks

    So it’s all of the social perks of being with a white guy, but with more financial security

  • Dominique Thompson

    There are good men and there are bad men. Find one who loves you and that’s it. There is no magical race of men that are the answer to any woman’s dream. What she’s done is stereotyped two groups of people. Jewish men are allegedly notorious for being mama’s boys. There’s always going to be an issue when joining 2 personalities. In the words of my coworker ‘PICK YOUR POISON”. There is no perfect man.

  • word

    I see nothing wrong with her book nor point of view. it is based on her realities and that is perfectly fine….to be quite honest are we upset because she has those opinions or that she said them publicly? How many of you said those EXACT SAME THINGS ABOUT BLACK MEN TO YOUR BLACK GIRLFRIENDS. We stereotype negatively and positively about our own< as human beings we stereotype and always will. Some black men are damaged (and with good reason) or rather the modern day culture of black men in the dating pool, is damaged. if this woman comes out and says…hey try a Jew, what is the problem?? A man is a man, PERIOD!

  • Starlett Lyte

    I have nothing to add to the never-ending debate about interracial relationships. What I do have to say is that this author is a lazy journalist. She says that Madame Noire got the rep of promoting interracial relationships because of “articles like this one” and then she links the article. An article which she obviously didn’t read before she wrote this article, because in this article she states “Jewish men open wide instead of down low (Is that a sexual innuendo I failed to grasp?)” Why yes, yes it is. And you would have understood it had you actually read the article which you linked, because it’s listed as the FIRST reason in the article that you linked! So Ms. Veronica Wells, you did not even attempt to read that article you’re asking readers to read. Blogger-Fail. Carry on.

  • Rosa

    Black men: Kings of the universe, architects of civilization, fathers of mankind.

    • Dominique Thompson

      Some of them just need to find their way back like many of us do as well.

    • Concerned Reader

      Prove what you wrote.

  • Kristen

    My first boyfriend was Jewish but he wasn’t regularly practicing his faith. He was a nice kid. But I kept my options open. Never made a point to only stick with Jewish guys. Many of them weren’t open to dating out of their culture anyway.

    I think purposely seeking out a specific ethnicity to marry isn’t a good thing. Seeking our character is the main thing and whatever color he is falls second.

  • Val

    Judging by these comments it’s just so easy to divide Black folks. Sad. You’d think we would have learned by now not to fall for the old racial okie doke but I guess not. Marry who you want but why must so many of us juxtapose IR marriage against how terrible Black men/ women are. Self hate is so insidious.

    • 9Boots

      What are you talking about? BM decided to divide themselves along time ago. Hence the murdering of BW, the rape and abuse of BW, them refusing to get married and raise their children. No self respecting person is going to put up with b.s. for ever.

  • Denise Clay

    I dated a couple of Jewish guys.
    She’s making a sweeping, and incorrect, generalization…

  • Valerie

    Black men have been doing the same thing to us for years now and now you are defending them? Please. I agree with the sister. Black men have lost there minds. Its getting back to the color purple days when it comes to the relationship between a black man and a black woman.

  • LiiSH

    I could get jiggy with this book if it had been written as some kind of satire or memoir detailing one women’s experiences rather than an all or nothing, these are facts type scenario.

  • Treacle234

    This article is a joke right? OMG!

  • visthename

    Why do People in our community refuse to admit that too many black men are falling behind concerning education, jobs/careers, financial stability, family stability stability, etc. If a black man has a job that means he is a”good man.” Nevermind, he has multiple children by multiple women, a low paying job, a criminal background, no credit, never lived on his own, doesn’t know how to manage a household, etc. I refuse to pretend that black men are being rail-roaded. Black women are now the grown black man’s caregiver – he lives in her home, breathing the same air her kids breathe, she hides him from child support enforcers, fights with his baby mamas, he drives her car, she pays his court costs, bail and barely helps her with the bills.
    When I first dated outside of the black race, I never looked back. I had the best dating years. I went on vacations, had great conversations, good sex, good food and never spent a dime. Now Im happily married with kids to a man of a different race. Unlike many of my friends who are single mothers with deadbeat baby daddies pretending to love single life one day and praying to find a good man the next.
    Like the woman above, I find men of other races are family and financial focused. They set Goals and work towards reaching them.

    • KIR12

      You all glorify and promote independence, have these kids by men who don’t want you nor the child and then complain and blame it on the man when the boy turns out a sociopath. lol That’s called a lack of accountability.

      You know like running down to the abortion clinic for the kids you don’t want them blaming the msn for the OTHER kids you decide to keep. You all want 100% control with zero responsibility and accountability.

      • Kokotye

        You are so transparent. what about the responsibility of the black man? BEING with women he does not care for and having children with her and justifying why NOT to care for them. Birth control is YOUR responsibility too. All of your posts thus far has blamed the black woman without you pointing out the responsibility( or lack thereof) of the black man to his family and culture. See I know your kind…..the one that thinks black women are the problem with our race. This type of stereotype (or image devised by the Jewish man, as you have noted) has been floating around for centuries and guess what Einstein, you fell for it too. You have also fell for the Jewish/White man’s concept of manhood, one you can not accomplish so you blame us for a standard that THEY can ONLY reach and YOU bump your head against. so run back to the woman you have fetishized and be happy.

        • KIR12

          A lot of these men are nothing more than hood artificial insemination sp3rm donors. lol If it wasn’t him (father) it was going to be the next guy she slept with. Black women want 100% control without 100% responsibility.They run down to the abortion clinic for the kids they don’t want and then turn around and blame black men for the OTHER kids they decide to keep. This leaves them with zero accountability when Black women have 100% control of their reproductive systems. Birth control, plan B and abortion. Today there are no excuses for unwanted kids. Black men don’t have those choices. The only choice he has is condoms. If black men had 100% control black illegitimacy would drop in half overnight, FACT.

          Anyone who says they use a condom every time is a hypocrite and liar. When trust is built and emotions and feeling are involved condom are not used as frequently or not used. Condoms have never been an effective long term birth control for any race nor any nation. Female contraceptives have proven to be the only effective long term birth control which is why 100’s of MILLIONS of women around the world use female contraceptives.

          • visthename

            You are still refusing to discuss why too many black men dont handle their business. So typical of a lot of black men I know… It’s always the black women’s responsibility to take care of business.
            Weak

            • KIR12

              Black women thought they were going to be able to run down to the abortion clinic for the kids she didn’t want by a man she doesn’t like/love. Then try to have a bootleg family and blame and demand the black man she wants to stay with her. Love, care and support the OTHER kids she decided to keep even if that black man doesn’t love her, didn’t want the kids and has never made a COMMITMENT to her in the first place.

              What person in their right mind would think that’s going to turn out well? These stupid black women then are surprised when the man does a financial and responsibility abortion. smh.

              • visthename

                lame

              • marshefen

                Do you post the same thing on every article on this site? I think I’ve seen this same copy and paste further up on this same article.

              • Moony

                Damn. If someone aborted your child and you loved them, and then tried to have a family with someone who didn’t love her in order to try to keep the guy, I feel sorry for you. Some women will do that. But I know women of other races who believe having a child will keep a man as well and it’s blown up in their faces.

                This is why it is soooo important to protect yourself. She clearly duped you and it makes sense you would be mad bc whatever, you loved her and you wanted the baby but you can’t blame all black women for that.

                • KIR12

                  Huh? Know I’m just making the point that women take responsibility for the kids they don’t want but refuse to take responsibility for the kids they keep. Got it

          • clwa0303

            Just curious, why do you write THE SAME COMMENTS in different articles comment sections? I mean you clearly just cut and paste them around…

            • Chey

              EXACTLY!! I was looking at these comments like…I knew I read these yesterday, and in a completely different article too!

          • Lilly

            If not having illegitimate kids means that much, abstinence is always a choice.

        • KIR12

          If a man loves a woman, he will love the child. If he doesn’t love the woman there’s a 50/50 chance he won’t love the child. The white man showed what he thought of his s1@. ve kids didn’t he.

          Men don’t have options. I don’t agree with it but when a man is not involved with a child he never wanted it is nothing more than a financial and responsibility abortion. A lot of these men are nothing more than sp3rm donors. If it wasn’t him (father) it was going to be the next guy she slept with.

      • visthename

        Im a heterosexual woman, therefore, when I was dating my concern wasnt what women were doing. The accountability, or lack there of, of women and their sex lives was not my issue. I dated men so my concern was do these men have what I want in a mate. And you know too many men in our community are not the responsible men that the black community needs. YOU KNOW THIS…
        You can talk about Baby mamas, abortion clinics, whatever…. but I see you wont talk about the lack of stability concerning black men. With a straight face, you cannot state that black men are holding their own and taking care of Business -getting and maintaining stable and decent paying jobs; owning homes; parenting their Kids. It’s easier for you to come down on black women. Although, half of you have records, too many of you dont complete an education, and have ids you cant take of…Im I lying?
        And now white women who deal with black men have to deal with their madness. Most of my Cousin deal with White women. ALL OF THEM live off of these women, leave this women with Kids and move on to the next.

        • KIR12

          If a man loves a woman, he will love the child. If he doesn’t love the woman there’s a 50/50 chance he won’t love the child. The white man showed what he thought of his s1@. ve kids didn’t he.

          Men don’t have options. I don’t agree with it but when a man is not involved with a child he never wanted it is nothing more than a financial and responsibility abortion. A lot of these men are nothing more than sp3rm donors. If it wasn’t him (father) it was going to be the next guy she slept with.

          • sasha

            Well that’s not true, is it? Sometimes men love their children but not the woman that gave birth to it (see, acrimonious divorces). Sometimes men love the woman who gave birth to the baby, but don’t give a crap about the baby (see, many of these terrible child abuse stories).

            Also, wtf is with the analogies to slavery? The facts don’t show what you think they show. It was not at all uncommon for slaveholders to give their black sons access to education and/or the ability to learn a trade, and/or free them and their mother (usually upon the slaveholder’s death or right before). Making special provisions for the kid showed some type of caring, i guess, but I don’t think this practice implied real love or respect for the mother at all. How could it? Which again, disproves your point.

    • Trisha_B

      OK, a black man having multiple children reflects who? The guy or the woman? He’s not making these kids on his own. Why are these women laying down w/ these no good men? The woman decides if she wants to bring a kid into the world. Women need to stop thinking they can change a man. Their true colors are always there, some women just don’t want to believe it. Its a 2 way street. Some of you need to address your daddy issues. If you had a real father figure in your life, you wouldn’t have such negative views on black men. & that’s quite sad smh. I love my black men. I pick wisely. I learned my lesson w/ one type. You attrack what you are. I have found ton of black men w/ goals. Change your surroundings & things will change.

      Just because your dealing w/ another race, just know your kids are still BLACK & those sterecotypes will be thrown at your kids. Some girl will oneday say your black son is no good & has no goals without even knowing him

      • visthename

        Trisha_B….Really? It’s that easy. The only thing black women need to do is change their surroundings. Come on. We all dont live in the hood and frequent clubs. Not all black women have babies out of wedlock. Many of us receive degrees, travel, stash cash, own property…in other words…do the damn thing. And we want partners to match. So your saying I just need to meet new people, maybe go to a different Starbucks and I will meet the black man who I find suitable?
        Yes, my children are mixed with a great father. They see him go to work, support his family, come home tired but still manage to spend hours playing with them, helping them with school work. They have a strong man who disciplines them when needed. Who takes them on vacations, goes to their doctor’s appt, takes an interest in their schooling and extracurricular activities. Please stop pretending this is the norm in most of our families. Please stop pretending that if black women just stop messing with the thug that all will be ok. How about the thug stop being a thug. How about the thug get a job and raise his kids so that many black women will not have father issues.
        So funny how you say that my son will still be seen as a black man regardless of who is father is. Guess what…my son will have such a positive figure to refer to when he takes on the world that those stereotypes will not hold him down. Trust me!
        I have a friend who spits the same things as you. So defensive when it comes to black men b/c her son is a black man. Yet, her son has never dated a black Girl/woman IN HIS LIFE. This fine, young man has no desire to be with women like his mother. ..the woman who solely raised him while his father hit the bricks.
        And what’s this trying to Change a man nonsense. Way off Topic. Also, like I stated in another comment, being a heterosexual woman means I wasnt concerned with Baby mamas when I dated. I was concerned with men. So stop placing the blame of black men’s shortcomings on Baby mamas. Their is no excuse why a man should not take care of his family. None.

    • anonymouse

      you sound so stupid. having a 400 yr head start and white privilege…..no wonder they allegedly have their $hit together.
      You want to go in on stereotypes about Black men, but ignore the atrocities that white men do to others and their familes

      • 9Boots

        For the last 60 years, the number one aggressors of murders, rapes, and sexual abuses committed against BW are BM.

        • anonymouse

          uh, all crimes are committed within the same race of people…so what’s your point?

          • 9Boots

            BM murder BW at three times the rate of white women. BM rape and sexually abuse BW three times the rate of white women. Do you not see a problem with this? You guys are not our allies, you guys are Judas.

            • anonymouse

              first off, I’m not a guy.secondly, you’re gonna have to cite your sources for that one because I don’t believe it. Everytime i turn on the tv, it’s some white man hacking up, burying, or torturing his wife. if not that, they’re cheating and the crazy mistress offs the wife. Watch I.D. sometime. so you’re not safe with them either. So besides go gay or stock up on batteries……what are you gonna do?? Every Black man is not trifling, sorry, or abusive……all you need to find is one.Maybe that’s the problem…people wanna get with everybody in the world, but all you need is one and he’s out there.

  • FromUR2UB

    As soon as I read that title I thought, MN, why don’t you just go ahead and become an interracial dating site? Combne it with your other love, reaiity shows, then you can create an interracial dating reality show web site. Oh well, I had to play it out once I got started.

    Soooo, Mrs. Hines-Starruh got aaaaall o’ dat from dating and marrying one Jewish guy. She must be mighty, mighty perceptive. The thing is, true bliss and contentment causes people to forget about done stuff. This guy was probably flattered the first few times she told him how much better he is, being white and Jewish, than any black man. But eventually, he’s going to wonder why he’s not enough to help her get over her bitterness toward black men. She almost sounds like she’s on a crusade to turn all black women away from black men, because “that’ll show ‘em”. Love for love’s sake, that occurs organically, is one thing;, but vengeful love is not real love. Who would want to be that person who is used just to tick people off? This applies to the guys who have a black- women-chip-on-their-shoulders too.

    • thatguy0011

      Couldn’t agree more. I was thinking the same thing,

  • IMJSANYUmad

    y’all can go ahead with the jewish men… they’ll be sick of your ignorant ways shortly

  • blogdiz

    this is just sad no words for this ish

  • http://www.frivjuego.co/ Friv juego

    I think skin color should not say anything, love is a matter of the heart, the emotions and the soul.

  • enlightenment

    What doe she mean by “Jewish”? The ethnicity or the religion? And is she seriously trying to persuade us that all Jewish men, simply because of their background, are innately are born with all these listed good qualities? GIVE ME A BREAK. *rolls eyes*

    • marshefen

      He’s probably the only Jewish man she’s ever dated and has lumped them all in with him.

    • Shais Rishon

      “the ethnicity or the religion”
      which jewish ethnicity? nigerian? indian? ethiopian? chinese? ghanian? syrian? iraqi? iranian? spanish? greek? russian? polish? ALL jewish communities/subgroups [except for uganda] are descended from the same original mesopotamian/middle eastern group. “ethnically jewish” doesnt come in just white.

      • enlightenment

        That’s what I’m asking. I don’t know what SHE means when she refers to a “Jewish” man. My gut tells me she’s talking about your stereotypical bar mitzvah-having, yamaka-wearing, kosher-eating Jewish men.

        No need to start an ethnic debate, ain’t nobody got time for that.

        • Shais Rishon

          my point is IM one of “your stereotypical bar mitzvah-having, yamaka-wearing, kosher-eating Jewish men”. and im not white.

          • enlightenment

            Okay? Good for you.

  • The Love Zone USA

    We have so many young women and men on our show that goes through this same dilemma. We can not base an entire race on the interaction of three or four people we meet. You wouldn’t want to be label like everyone because of your race so why do it to others. It just shows ignorance and unacceptance. Like us on FB Thelovezoneusa and follow us on Twitter @thelovezoneusa. We will be discussing who are more aggressive black or white woman. You don’t want to miss this show.

  • misss

    I have to say of all the black men I know thats a pretty accurate description of them. I haven’t ever truly dated outside of black but the lack of exceptional black men is evident in my world.

  • Pamela Gabrielle Akir

    Regardless of ethnicity.. a black woman needs a man who will be honest with her and will respect her… first! It’s what feeds her devotion, trust and loyalty! If you lack trust and respect either way regardless of the race of her man, the black woman won’t submit or let you be in control of anything in any relationship! She has to trust and be trusted!

  • KIR12

    Jewish men control the media ie movies, Tv and radio. Everything you hear and see has to have their approval. That’s why you never hear nor see any negative Jewish ethnic slurs nor see any negative Jewish images. Jewish men sure have done a great job with the image of black women.

    • thatonegirl

      (In my nene voice) bloop. I couldn’t of said it better myself.

    • Aestu

      Jews don’t control the media, we’ve just worked very hard to earn the respect of the world at large, just like the Asians. You could learn from us.

  • BA Parker

    Oh God, where do I begin? I’m a Jewish white woman and deliberately did not seek out Jewish men to marry because all the ones I met were momma’s boys, superficial, self-absorbed babies who were terrified of marrying anyone their Mommy did not OK first. Not to mention they are the types to go ballistic if their girlfriend or wife gains one tenth of a lb. Jewish men are the LEAST traditional when it comes to gender roles, are you kidding? I had to marry a Gentile to find a man with the traditional mindset I also share.

    • IMJSANYUmad

      so quick to call some1 a mommas boy… you sound fat

      • BA Parker

        Do I look fat in my pic?

        • IMJSANYUmad

          yes

          • BA Parker

            If you think my pic is fat, you clearly have vision issues.

    • Aestu

      Part of the “traditional mindset” is marrying Jewish and seeking the approval of parents on both sides (if they say no there is probably a reason why).

      You accuse Jewish men of being “least traditional when it comes to gender roles”. I can only interpret this and your prior remarks as making sense if what you mean is you are a demanding girl who is looking for a Daddy and not a husband.

  • Marina Calis

    Something to consider…..a lot of black men do think black women are a challenge to their masculinity and a scumbag is a scumbag regardless of color.I often wish men of color would settle their nerves and stop looking for exotic women and learn what it means to be successful and have a successful family.There are too many who care nothing about the union of marriage and more about how many notches they can get on their belts.

    • KIR12

      These eligible young black men are not out here playing captinnegrosavior. I would date a black women just not some overweight, middle age, average looking baby mama wanting to get married.
      Pride? Don’t be embarrassed for me. lol The reality is people men and women will always do what’s in their best interest. Dating exclusively black makes no sense to me. Once you get past the emotional sympathy and pity argument for all of these single never married, will never marry middle age black women, what really are the actual benefits to a black man and benefits to the life of his future kids to date exclusively and marry black?

      • Moony

        But why do you act like black guys don’t like fat or thick black women? They love it! I don’t understand you. Whether there is a difference between thick and fat is up to the beholder. Many white men think that thick means fat but most thick girls are considered shapely to black guys and they love them. In my neighborhood, these dudes are such hounds for the rounder women. I do fine, but I’m hardly packing in that way.

        If you have children, you should take care of them. I don’t think anyone should limit themselves to a race, but if you are an eligible black male with a child, then you should take care of them.

        • KIR12

          All that weight works in the hood. If you’re planning on making love and financial moves outside the hood love is not going to happen for you. They like fawking them. That’s it. Young dudes don’t want to be seen in public with a fat girl

    • IMJSANYUmad

      most y’all blk women come wit too much baggage…. 2 kids and 7 baby daddy possibilities ….

      • marshefen

        You need to stop hanging out in the ghetto.

      • 9Boots

        Guess who gave them the baggage?

        • IMJSANYUmad

          nobody told you to have all dem seeds smut, get an abortion…. dummy

          • 9Boots

            Let me guess, you are another “Good Black Man”.

  • provokethought

    While I am all about diversity, I also think about the black woman who must get past the protective Jewish mother who I doubt is “thrilled” at the very thought of her son marrying a black woman…..just a thought.

    • Ebony in Hartford

      These articles crack me up. Do you know how many unmarried black women waited decades for “the brand you’ve known and grown up with” and STILL ended up alone (many with kids to show for their ‘loyalty’? And not just ‘a few’, it’s hudreds of thousands. And you think it’s THEIR fault?

      Because ‘all’ black mothers are THRILLED when their sons come home with dark black women with natural hair? Right…

      My mother-in-law thinks I’m the bees knees. This is just a scare tactic to keep black women as ladies in waiting for men who wouldn’t piss on them if they were on fire to get to something ‘exotic’.

      • KIR12

        I don’t have a problem with swirl but that site has about 10 black women to every one white guy.

        Her conclusion is also flawed because her assumption is all black women are marriage material. The truth is no eligible man with a good job of any race is going to marry the overwhelming majority of the bottom 50% of black women. Too much baggage and or too many flaws

        • kj1986nyc

          not even 20 percent of black women are marriage material but listen to them tell it, they’re all desirable.

          • jay

            Oh shut up! People like you want to sit on the computer and be rude and disrespectful! I didn’t know black men were marriage material at all!!!!!

          • Caydence James

            With 6.5% of the people in this country being black women, I am amazed to find out that you know 20% of them! You do get around, don’t you?

            • kj1986nyc

              80 percent of black women are fat/obese, 78 percent uneducated, low income, kids by multiple men, welfare dependency, net worth 5 dollars, STDs, lesbian/bisexual, tattoos, and weave. Once you go down the list there’s maybe 2 black women out of 100 and they’re probably mixed with a white mother anyways.

              • Concerned Reader

                Um, stop making a complete i diot out of yourself on the world wide web. Where is the evidence to support your 80% theory? Oh yea, there is none, you copied that from some other i diot on Youtube because you are not capable of original thought.

                If you check educational institutions, you will find that black males are ALWAYS almost all outperformed by females and are the most uneducated overall. I would know. I’m sorry for you, but all of your wishes cannot come true.
                Thus most black women have higher income from careers which resulted from education. Take away every type of ball game and rapping and you will most likely see that black males have an extremely low income.
                One of the most tattooed women in entertainment is white, and every race wears weave.
                When making articles about STDs, the authors write about the high rates in black MALES.
                I don’t see any black females “on the block”, however it is full of ONLY black males here… HUNDREDS (small place)…. meaning that they are unemployed and would depend on welfare if it wasn’t for the d rug money.
                Black males are the most v iolent in the race and make up the most of prison in the race.

                Your problem is that you are a typical black male s lave to white women (notice what you said – white MOTHER).
                LOL, you are so transparent and p athetic, poor boy.

                • KIR12

                  Why are black women in denial about their weight?

                  Source: CDC, 2013. Health United States, 2012. Table 68.

                  African American women have the highest rates of being overweight or obese compared to other groups in the U.S. About four out of five African American women are overweight or obese.

                  • Concerned Reader

                    I told you to prove it dumb a ss. Go outside and use your cursed eyes to see for yourself. And learn to USE your brain! Black people in general have a HIGHER bone density than other races (something the CDC does NOT take into account) so of COURSE black women weigh more, but it does NOT mean that many are obese! This is why it is harder for black people sink faster when learning to swim! A 7 year old can understand this! You are stu pid beyond words, blinded by jealously and hatred so much, it has caused you to abandon reason!
                    YOU DO NOT see 80% obese black women! You are a POOR liar!

                    • KIR12

                      Big boned ie boone density is a myth as it relates to obesity. Yes, SOME black women are pare shaped and can carry weight better. It’s a small percentage. Most are carrying weight in their upper body face, neck back, arms and stomach and it looks horrible. it’s not healthy evidenced by the health issues they have after 40 and their shorter life span. Go look at images of black women in the 40’s and 50’s and early Soul Train videos. it’s shocking how small they were. They were smaller than today’s white women, FACT.

                    • Concerned Reader

                      I NEVER SAID IT RELATES TO OBESITY! Can you read dumba ss? If I go to the doctor NOW and am weighed, he would say I am overweight… and is that how the CDC collects their data in general? The thing is, I look very slim except for my lower body which is still not nearly fat, I just weigh a bit for how I look. All you can think of is “white” women, s lave. Stop annoying me with your 17th century brain.

                    • Really?

                      Actually I can’t stand when people skew the facts. Here are the real statistics on obesity among black people. I say people because it includes the MEN as we’ll. Obesity affects some groups more than others
                      Non-Hispanic blacks have the highest age-adjusted rates of obesity (49.5%) compared with Mexican Americans (40.4%), all Hispanics (39.1%) and non-Hispanic whites (34.3%) [See JAMA. 2012;307(5):491-497. doi:10.1001/jama.2012.39].

                    • Really?

                      In actuality bone density is not a myth, that is why blacks have low incidences of osteoporosis in comparison to other races. We naturally have denser muscle mass thus we are naturally “weight-bearing”. As far as obesity yes we have some that are obese but nowhere close to 80% as you specify. Please forgive some errors as I’m on my iPad. In respect to being arts majors, an education is an education and according to the American education council black women out number black men 6-1 in higher universities and complete degrees at a rate of 4-1 as we’ll. so you see my friend I am more than a numbers person, I am a RESEARCHER as well as a veteran, a volunteer, an app creator a Dean’s list honoree, a non-baby mama, a 5-6 daily mile runner, a (soon to be book author, once penguin completes my contract)…oh and a size 4/6…btw I will Gladly send you pics… All this to tell you to stop stereotyping to fir their your aggrandizement of non-black women.

                    • KIR12

                      Black women are the only group that don’t think 80% of black women are fat. Everyone can’t be wrong. Yes, there are some Serena Williams with pear shapes. MOST black women are not built like that. What’s their excuse? Bone density does not equate obesity had nothing to do with it.

                      All degrees are not equal. You’ll see it in your pay check and standard of living when you graduate. Black women with a degree making 30k to 35k means what? Signifies what?

                    • Gianni_P

                      Are you single?

                    • Gianni_P

                      Are you Single?

                  • 9Boots

                    Why are BM in denial that they are the number one murderers. You kill BW, black children, and each other.

                    • 9Boots

                      @ mayberry

                      I see that BM murdering, raping, abusing BW is no priority to you. Thanks for proving point. BM are Judas.

                • KIR12

                  Black women are “attending” but NOT graduating. Leaving them with student loans they’re unable to pay. 22% have a bachelor’s degree. What about the other 78%? Many no most of the black women with BACHELORS degrees are in low paying fields such as sociology, psychology and AA studies from SUBPAR schools. Also, many black women and men are graduating with “c” averages and can barley get a job that doesn’t even require a degree. The article below clearly states many would have been better off with a husband instead of going to backoftheyard college.

                  beyondblackwhite()com/black-women-spending-time-effort-school-spending-time-married/

                  chronicle()com/blogs/conversation/2013/07/10/for-black-students-college-degrees-are-separate-and-unequal/

                  madamenoire()com/324130/women-outnumber-men-stem-fields-underrepresented-others/

                  • Concerned Reader

                    You can’t spell “barely” though, a nus, so you have no authority to speak on education. There you go again making an i diot of yourself. You seriously want to believe that most black women attend “subpar” schools? Whatever helps you sleep at night, s lave. Where did Michelle O go to school?
                    Let me fix you. I am an educator and at every single place I taught (many), these were the marks in general (black students):

                    GIRLS: 99 100 85 96 69 80 49
                    BOYS: 80 35 34 20 0 0 11

                    In other words, most girls would pass with flying colours, with the occasional bad girl failing (not by much), whereas the black boys would FAIL to submit work, or understand at all, with ONE or two doing well but not nearly as well as the top 5 or so girls. That’s the hard truth. Ask any educator for a look some time, I DARE you!

                    • KIR12

                      I was never a great speller. I was always a numbers guy. it’s more of an auto correct problem. Oh. Mrs Educator. by the way you also have a misspelled word.

                      Don’t get had a me I didn’t write the articles that clearly show black women have low paying liberal arts degrees.

                    • Concerned Reader

                      You are NEITHER a great speller NOR a numbers guy, otherwise you wouldn’t be repeating that 80% nonsense. You know I told off another black male s lave about that YEARS ago (SAME 80%) and STILL here you are with the same lie! You are incapable of thinking for yourself!

                      What is the misspelled word?

                    • Marie Bano

                      YOU NEED TO GET HELP UNDER OBAMACARE FOR YOUR INSECURITY.

                    • kj1986nyc

                      the same ghetto single mothers making illegitimate kids are teachers in the schools too, forget to mention that much!

                    • Concerned Reader

                      Even if that were true, they are STILL better than the THOUSANDS of black male murderers and rapists in JAIL!
                      FAIL!

                    • kj1986nyc

                      Guess the scwrong independent black womyn who traded the boy’s father for a welfare check raised him. Angry that the boy’s father didn’t want her and instilled hatred in their sons of other black men. Look black women hate their sons and only see the children as why to extract welfare checks or child support for 18 years!

                    • Concerned Reader

                      Learn English.

                    • kj1986nyc

                      too much truth you capitulate

                    • Tamara Hurt

                      Wrong word of choice! I know you want to ‘appear’ or ‘sound’ educated but while trying don’t murder the English dictionary! Thank you!

                    • kj1986nyc

                      Hey, Ms Black woman, I don’t need to sound “educated” I still get my point across because you see, I don’t wet between my legs, spend and amass thousands in debt for titles to impress strangers. You and I both have the internet. The truth is at your fingertips!

                    • Tamara Hurt

                      Another stupid, ignorant, incoherent rant!

                    • KIR12

                      Raised by black hoodrats.

                      There is not one black community in this country with a high illegitimacy rate that is productive. Not one! And you’ll be the first to say I can’t understand why we have so many problems in the black community. It’s called baby mama kids not being able to read, dropping out of school, unskilled and can’t get a job, broke with no direction and then running wild terrorizing the black community.

                    • Concerned Reader

                      Murderers terrorize the black “community” – whatever that is. Most black murderers ARE MEN.

                      FAIL.
                      Keep it coming.

                    • KIR12

                      The black community is run by hoodrat Sharkeisha’s and her undiscipline no home training kids. If you think black women aren’t terrorizing the black community search black women/girls fights. There are millions of videos

                    • Concerned Reader

                      You need to learn the meaning of “terrorise”. You need to learn a lot of other things too.

                    • Junie

                      WHERE ARE THE BLACK MEN??? Why are they Irresponsible DeatBeats who Only know how to make Babies but don’t know how to Take care of them OR Commit to the Mothers. Multiple Babies with different women at that. Oh, that’s right— in the Street corners, Committing Crime or in Jail!

                      (Also…. You people Actually think that the people in the Ghetto, especially in the U.S., represent the entire black Race. Sad)

                    • Aestu

                      The better question is, why do Black women keep screwing them?

                    • Nikki Newton

                      They don’t. Only hood-ratchet ghetto black females with no self-esteem, morals and values do that. Unfortunately, some people are a product of their environment.

                      When people are born into a single “person” (whether it be male or female) household, they are more than likely to have a single family household. Sad but true.

                      We need to learn as people, especially black people to stop having babies without being married.

                      I’m in my 30’s (early to mid) and I came from a different upbringing. Two parents who married, then had children, a military background family and a Father who is Catholic and a Mother who is Pentecostal. They taught my siblings and I how to be upstanding citizens and independent people, to help contribute to a society that needs it.

                      Each person (parent) needs to teach their kids what is right and wrong and how to conduct themselves, so that they are taken seriously. Only then will we as people prosper and help the community that we live in.

                    • eric carroll

                      what is this hate black men day ,you said all. black men are. In jail or doing crime like you say they do i know black men that never went to jail and white men do as much crime as well did you ever heard of white collar crime down on wall street white men are the biggest crooks in the world did you ever heard of bernnie madeoff ponzi scam it was all over the news ,i never heard of a black man. Taking some one’s 401 k

                    • Concerned Reader

                      I didn’t say all and I do not mean all. My comment is specifically for the black men who have low self esteem and need to try to bring black women down just to feel good about themselves.
                      Yes, I heard of white collar crime but murder is much more serious.

                    • eric carroll

                      I hope you not angry with. Me i did’nt mean no harm we got enough issues among blacks in general ?

                    • Concerned Reader

                      Nope, not angry at all. I find you very polite despite my original comment. I don’t mean you any harm either. I was referring only to the guilty.

                    • eric carroll

                      well i’m not in that thousand i’m doing what i’m susposed to do ,i’m. going to school and hopfully one day. I will have my own buisness ,so plese don’t put me in the black man. just go to jail symdrome ,so you can count me out of that number no way ,i never did or thought about hurting or killing any one so i’m not in that number !

                    • Concerned Reader

                      That’s great to hear and no, I am not including you in that number. I am talking about the guilty ones. They know who they are.

                    • eric carroll

                      yes i know what you mean it’s true black men go and kill each other i totaly agree with what you talking but it is really hard to find a black women that really likes a black man ,it’s not that easy for black men to express their love for a black women relationships are not easy as some one thinks ,to me i see a lot of black women be playing hard to get with and not just get with them and then leave them thats not good for a black man to do ,men like eric benet give black men a bad name thats why him and hallie berry broke up cause he was cheating

                    • KIR12

                      I was never a great speller. I was always a numbers guy. it’s more of an auto correct problem. Oh. Mrs Educator. by the way you also have a misspelled word.

                      Don’t get mad at me I didn’t write the articles that clearly show black women have low paying liberal arts degrees.

                    • kj1986nyc

                      A chinese man can’t spell nor speak their language but black women love to patron their shops to buy a chinese girl’s hair and have it sewn into their brain!

                    • KIR12

                      lol, yeah and I’m on a new mobile phone that’s auto correcting. It’s a little more difficult to proof.

                    • Guest

                      You know when they say black women are doing good I’m always baffled. Because the next question I have is good compared to what? lol Of course their next response is compared to black men! Seems to me a more accurate and relative comparison would be to compare themselves to women of other races. They don’t want to do that. They want to compare themselves to boys who grew up in homes and communities with no men. That’s like a girl raised by her father growing up in a community with no women.

                      Lastly, if these women can’t go out and get a white or non black husband they don’t have a black man problem that’s a MAN problem. lol As long as they’re able to keep the discussion focused on only black men it really doesn’t exposed the REAL issues and they don’t have to look in the mirror. It’s basically the bottom 50% that I wrote about. They feel as if they’ve been mistreated (which is probably correct) and own black men (wrong). Black men owe them. They can’t get a man off another race so black men can’t date women of other races. The truth is non if this is about black men it’s really about them. If they could get a non black man they wouldn’t give a d@m about what black men were doing.

                    • kj1986nyc

                      Well people keep trying to tell these black females this, black mothers raised a generation of males unsuited for their daughters. But people act like you can’t critique these black women, because I have a black mother or something ignorant mess like that. Because back in the 80’s and 90’s it was “I don’t need a man”, and they can raise children better without a black man around, I rather have a welfare check these black women said. 20 years later that’s drying up and they’re changing their tune. So they want to find a beta provider sucker to marry them after they destroy black families in America, they move on to a new host. But black women believe in hypergamy just as much as other women do.

                    • Junie

                      BLACK MEN DESTROYED the Black Community (mostly in the Ghettos & innercities). Every other Race & Everyone in the community knows this “EXCEPT BLACK MEN.’ The Women who said they didn’t need a man were abandoned by the Dead Beats (Black Men) who wouldn’t Take responsibility, but yet Continued producing more children with multiple Women who they never commit to. (still to this day) So of Course in the end they felt like Oh Well I’m left doing this by myself so I don’t need a man. “WHY in the World do Black men leave Black women to Raise kids on their own. BLACK MEN RUINED THE BLACK COMMUNITY and Shamelessly shift Blame and Take no Credit for being losers who have no clue on how to be the strength and backbone of Family & community like REAL Men. They (mostly uneducated Ghetto hood criminals have no Clue as to what Coparenting is, when they do leave the moms.

                    • eric carroll

                      That’s true to what you say that black destroy their communites by selling drugs and killing each other it’s done got to the boiling point to make me want to.cry,black should be a shame of what they do to one another it’s a sad case,and it’s true that most of this black men grow up with out their fathers also but to me that should make the person that grew up with out their fathers to wake up and make a change for themselves,martin luther king ,malcom x did’nt march are speck up for black men to do what evil they do for ,i don’t think they did !

                    • mr kind

                      well eric can u answer this question about WHITE GUYS?? why do they while most grew up with a mother and father an more money go on these angry killing sprees in the schools or in the movie theaters that shocks the whole nation, hurting little kids that’s done nothing wrong to them an innocent ppl in theathers that have never even met them??? CAN U ANSWERT THAT??? NO I DIDNT THINK SO..

                    • Aestu

                      Uh huh. And what about those invincible Black women who were just CONVINCED they could do it all, raise their kids to be thugs and arrogantly scream their awesomeness to anyone who will listen, while getting by on food stamps, welfare and affirmative action?

                      If you want to blame the Black man you must also blame the Black woman who raises him and chooses to bear his children (and it IS a choice, as much as the ghetto mentality HATES the word “choice”).

                    • mr kind

                      AGAIN aestu, or whatever ur r hector, carlito , jesus , do u know statsically CARMEN, MARTHA,SONIA, MARIA, AND SONIA STATISCALLY are the most unwedded mothers , pulling the double decker baby carriages in the united states?? I work for social services an see how they come in with the carriages with carlito jr, and pedro, an when I ask them where the daddys at GUESS WHAT THERE ANSWERS ARE?? IN THE PRISONERA..LOL ,SO aestu if urgoing to talk keep it real LIKE UR SHOW TELEMUNDO…LOL

                    • Aestu

                      Saying Black women are OK because Latinas are worse is as bad as White trash congratulating themselves they’re not Black.

                    • KIR12

                      You think the women on here spew nonsense? Go to Clutchmagonline. I have never seen so many black man hating BLACK women gathered in one spot in my life. lol

                    • Tamara Hurt

                      FACT – Black women are surpassing White women in regards to pay in the work place! If she isn’t, it’s because of the good ole’ boys club! Which is dying out quickly by the way! Put me up against a non black (as you claim) any day and I will run circles around you and HER! I shared what I needed to share and will leave the anonymous trolls with this FACT: Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.’ Yes, I’m a fool because I wasted time I will never recoup while arguing with an idiot!

                    • kj1986nyc

                      And white women still have their income, the white man’s income, 98 percent of your income too!

                    • Aestu

                      Black women are surpassing White women because White women are stupid entitled trash, while Black women usually have some fight in them (in spite of affirmative action).

                    • KIR12

                      You know when they say black women are doing good I’m always baffled. Because the next question I have is good compared to what? lol Of course their next response is compared to black men! Seems to me a more accurate and relative comparison would be to compare themselves to women of other races. They don’t want to do that. They want to compare themselves to boys who grew up in homes and communities with no men. That’s like a girl raised by her father growing up in a community with no women.

                      Lastly, if these women can’t go out and get a white or non black husband they don’t have a black man problem that’s a MAN problem. lol As long as they’re able to keep the discussion focused on only black men it really doesn’t exposed the REAL issues and they don’t have to look in the mirror. It’s basically the bottom 50% that I wrote about. They feel as if they’ve been mistreated (which is probably correct) and own black men (wrong). Black men owe them. They can’t get a man of another race so black men can’t date women of other races. The truth is non of this is about black men it’s really about them. If they could get a non black man they wouldn’t give a d@m about what black men were doing.

                    • 9Boots

                      and BM love to buy those Jordans and Nikes that are made by slaves in China. Hypocrite much?

                    • kj1986nyc

                      haha you’re funny, shoes are actually a durable good, they function to protect your feet and they last for years. what function does a lace front serve their own natural hair doesn’t?

                    • Aestu

                      Uh, no they aren’t. Shoes are a consumable consumer good. You can’t take the shoes off your feet and sell them. You can’t leverage them and they don’t count towards your net assets. And they certainly don’t last for years unless you mostly wear them while sitting indoors playing the XBox all day.

                      Spending copious sums on shoes is retarded. Period.

                    • Tamara Hurt

                      Wrong choice of words again.. patronize! LOL stop digressing! What you really want to say is, ‘I really don’t know, you’re educated and you’ve upset me; therefore, I’ll insult your hair by stating it’s fake’!? Can you be original and/or bring something else to the debate? Please!

                    • kj1986nyc

                      you make no sense, probably from all the chemicals fried out your brain!

                    • Blackhawk

                      Sounds like the parents need to pull their sons out of ur schools because u don’t kno what the fuk u are doing. I guess u didn’t know that u have to communicate and motivate boys and girls differently.

                    • Concerned Reader

                      Typical s lave black boy blaming everyone else for his problems. Tell me, how can your comment make sense if the girls are doing SO WELL? Continue proving me right: you are une ducated ID IOTS! Try again.

                    • eric carroll

                      I have a question do black women want black men to cheat on them ,i sit and wonder do black women what their men to cheat. or lie to them i was looking at the dvd think like a man but act like a women and the men got caught in all types of lies and the black women for gave them so why not the black women for give the black man for his mistakes and short comings i’m just saying what about it ?.

                  • kj1986nyc

                    black women are worth 5 bucks,all the student debt for a master’s of human services degree or criminal justice add no value to the thousands of debt they cost. Men know in general the education system is a racket. women delve in it because they know the government will subside any frivolous attempt of vain intellectualism, massive debt, and increased political pressure for public sector jobs for these worthless degree holders. But they don’t hear you though.

                    • guerline

                      you are funny. i have a master in political science and a bachelor degree in social science. i’m making 85.000 a year, while i have an 25.000 debt, send me your adress and i’ll send you my income tax, .so my degree is not worthless. it sad that you have to be so bitter. did you mom raised you by herself in the hood? i knwo all that hate must be directed towards your mom. it’s sad really. it’s no one fault if your daddy was a dead beat and didn’t want anything to do with you. i’m sure your mom did her best to provide you with an education. too bad that she failed in that matter. cause it feels like you became a pathetic and bitter person despite the good job she may have done. sorry if your mom was a hoodrat and did what she could to raise you but fail. my deepest sympathy.

                    • eric carroll

                      so you would’nt date or marry a black man that makes less then you make ,like a brother who’s an air condection tech who makes just $ 65,000 a yr and who takes care of his wife and children i wonder would you do that ?

                    • Aestu

                      Your degree has value by legislative fiat: because of affirmative action, make-work jobs and a bureaucratic structure that equates education with having a degree, even though you don’t know the difference between a comma and a period, or how to match verb and tense in English.

                      Grats on being a case study in the self-righteous idiocy that infects Black women with worthless libtardarts degrees.

                  • Tamara Hurt

                    I’ve read a few of your comments which spew hate, ignorance while trying to drop knowledge (nonsense) all over it. You are completely incorrect with your stats but that’s only to make ‘certain’ people feel better about who THEY are! Black women (FACT) in America are granted endless opportunities in comparison to black men! The system is set up for black men to fail! Black women are obese because of the food they eat (contain steroids etc) AND they are unconcerned about the illusion to stay skinny i.e. anorexia or bulimia (no pun intended)! I DO NOT need stats to know that White men and women make up the MAJORITY of cases of people getting gastric bypass surgery! The sources you site for reference aren’t reputable sources! What the hell is subpar schools? I never heard that term before? Are you referring to trade schools/community colleges? Mr/Ms/ or IT please stop while you think you’re ahead! Knowledge is key and power! Grab a book and learn a little something.

                    • kj1986nyc

                      Look black woman, nothing I said was a lie. You really wanna call me liar but you can’t. you just become petty like most black women are. but I get my point across. My post don’t infer any hatred other than article I came across.

                    • KIR12

                      No a trade school or community college is known as an alternative to 4 year colleges. I’M talking about these online schools and schools that are barely accredited that employers don’t respect. Colleges are ranked go to U.S. news and world report college rankings. Not all colleges are the same. Some are down right horrible.

                      Are you telling all colleges are the safe? lol THE Trish is more hate.

                    • Joseph Muchi

                      Did you actually think that a degree in African studies was going to get you a job in a major fortune 500 company ?

                • To HELL with MOST black women

                  YOU SOUND LIKE THE DUMB A SS BITTER BLACK BIT CH THAT YOU ARE! JUST GO TO HELL ALREADY, AND TAKE EVERY OTHER DUMB A SS BLACK WOMAN LIKE YOU, WITH YOU!

                  • Concerned Reader

                    For future reference, when you are responding to a comment, read it and respond accordingly. Do not look into the mirror and tell me what you think about your complete nothingness. I simply do not care.

                • Shawna

                  Black men’s affinity for White women is disgusting, but it is overstated. In reality, Black men like Black women better than other races. I think Black people (women and men) should try Asian mates if they want to try interracial dating. I have a Chinese husband and he works hard, makes a great income and is a family man. For ladies who like darker-skinned men Indian is the way to go.

                  • Joseph Muchi

                    @ SHAWNA : Sounds like you have some deep seeded hatred for White women. I would argue that black men like white women for 2 very important reasons. FIRST : Some white women are very gullible and naïve. SECOND: Black men want a women to take care of them, IE backwards from the regular men, who wants to take care of their women. Last but not least, did you actually think that these black men really find these obese blonde, white women, attractive ? Or was it the job or family that this obese white women are coming from, that they found attractive ?

                  • Aestu

                    Black men prefer White women because of the media. Asian mates are unobtainable for most Black men and women because they have standards they can’t meet.

              • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

                So you are cool if they marry Jewish men right? Thanks for sharing.

              • Concerned Reader

                FOOL? This is coming from the imbecile who doesn’t know the difference between “guess” and “guest”? Who abandons observation for some failed statistic by some centre who does not care about black PEOPLE? Who obviously does NOT know the MEANING of a word he can quickly look into the dictionary for: OBESE?

                Do you see 80% of obese black women? You don’t know what 80% is you un educated dun derhead! That would mean that the VAST MAJORITY of black women are! That would be easily proven by going outside, in a few different cities, but it is NOT! You are a s lavish i diot and you NEED to accept that.

                I have no time for your lies, little s lave boy, I can EASILY DISPROVE all of them, as you can see. You are hurt by the fact that your gender and race combined is made up of some of the most de testable, use less pieces of d irt on the earth and that ALL can be proven with one jail record. Continue to wallow in your misery, s lave boy. Continue to kiss the wrink led b utts of girls who truly care nothing about your ug ly, sorry, a nus.

                • kj1986nyc

                  you can’t disprove anything I say you’re just a wig wearing entitled charity case begging for marriage welfare

                  • Concerned Reader

                    Thanks for the laugh, but none of what you wrote is true, little, s lave boy.

                    • kj1986nyc

                      yeah ok, maybe all those sodium hydroxide chemical relaxers must have seeped in to your brain causing mild epileptic delirium common in the majority black women today.

                    • Concerned Reader

                      Wrong again, s lave boy. NO relaxers here.

                    • Junie

                      …and what are all the BLONDE Hair bleaching, brazillian Relaxers and Hair perms doing to White Women? Yes White women Perm (for curls), Relax (for bone straight hair) and weave their hair at home and openly in Salons… it’s no secret.

                    • kj1986nyc

                      Look don’t play stupid, you’re putting a different texture of hair other than your own. Are y’all buying afro textured hair off another black woman’s head and sewing into your scalps? NO!

              • Caramel Empress

                oh please, get off the Tommy Sotomoyor Bandwaggon already! You need Jesus.. and some education…..in THAT order! SMDH

                • eric carroll

                  he likes you kj1986nyc

                • kj1986nyc

                  you need a lobotomy

              • NBestOne

                How sad for you and your environment that you are surrounded by such woman. Many of the factors you speak on only found in the lower income areas (white and black). It is obvious that is where you are basing your assumption. Perhaps lifting your “black woman are horrible” glasses off and you might be able to clearly see beyond the construct of media and talk to the awkward black girls (shout out!) who are in shape, educated, no children with natural hair. She could teach you about loving yourself and your community. Peace…

            • Aestu

              So all the others are hiding under a rock? The cute <20% figure is probably true of White women too. Screaming about "rudeness", "do you know them all" and blather about their desirability drives that home. Obsession with one's own desirability is itself an indicator of being psychologically unfit for post-bachlorette life.

        • l

          Considering most of you fools are in prison, on the DL, or just deadbeats I’m not sure why you think you are all “all that” lol Get real!

        • Deana Becker

          The bottom 50% of those women are still doing much better than their male counterparts. The majority of college degrees held by African Americans are earned by Black women! The truth is, many Black males would rather shack up and marry the bottom 20% of non- Black women. The same women that their own men don’t want. Now, run tell that!

          • KIR12

            There are 10 white boys with fat ugly white women for every one black guy with a fat white woman and there are 10 black guys with fat ugly black women for every one black guy with a fat white woman. lol Black guys can only get fat white women is just white boy psycho babble trying to block brothers from fawckin their women. The white boy wants to portray himself as having high phuscie standards. It’s part of his white supremacy fairytale. It’s a lie. What they are is superior c0ck blockers. To the point they now have black women repeating their nonsense. The truth is only 20% of white boys are getting the hot white chicks. The test are sharing their women with the brothers.

            Let’s be honest. All these young black men want the same top 20% of YOUNG black women. Unfortunately, a lot of those top black women are too immature and stupid to pick a black man who is going to make a commitment to her. She ends up with the fun good looking bum, player or thug who’s on to the next one after she gets pregnant.
            Then there is another 30% of black women who have baggage but they’re decent enough to get a husband. The remaining bottom 50% of black women will never get married. Too many flaws too much baggage. They look like Missy Elliot, Rachael Jeantel orJayz/Little Wayne/Flava Flav with a weave and or combined with other baggage ie middle-aged (over 30), broke, kids, obese/overweight, uneducated, under or unemployed, bad attitude, unfeminine, loud ,ghetto, confrontational ect. No man with a decent job OF ANY RACE is going to marry the overwhelming majority of the bottom 50% of black women.

            • Ebony in Hartford

              And the problem with those women? I would bet my entire salary they were too busy trying to be ‘down’ and worried about what stupid folks from their neighborhood thought, to go for theirs when they were young and unburdened. This is why YOUNG black women who want better need to get as much education as possible and fly AWAY from these woman-hating neighborhoods. There is nothing for ambitious, young black women in these neighborhoods except for low-paid social service jobs where the same types of folks who abused you as girl will resent you for being their kid’s teacher or their WIC case manager. Forget those jobs, let the idealistic young white women take them.

              • http://www.YorkWhitaker.com/ York Whitaker

                True story.

              • sasha

                Jeez, you (and also Janae above) are telling some real truths here! You are too good to engage with these trolls, who in all honesty are not even responding to the points that you are making, but seem to be copying and pasting rants from a word document somewhere. But I’m glad you did respond so I could hear your thoughts. Am in total agreement!

              • 9Boots

                Right

            • FromUR2UB

              Black women who can’t stand black men and black men who can’t stand black women are both the problem. Each group is guilty of being critical of the other for perpetuating the same disdain for their black counterparts. Both groups are so deeply embittered that these conversations about interracial dating prove unproductive.
              The funny thing about what you’ve said is that while those embittered black men and women are so busy looking past blacks to see potential white partners, many of you are not faring much better. If you were actually getting the top 50% of other races, at least the preference would seem justified. But, many of you just seem to take what you could get and feel privileged to do so. IMO, the woman pictured is homely, and she married a homely guy. Yet, I bet when she dated black guys, she wouldn’t have paid attention to any who look like her husband. Likewise, a lot of black men, I guess like you, wouldn’t consider a black woman who looks like some of the white women you end up with. If, in fact, you are getting a different result in how you relate to white mates, maybe it’s only because you adjusted your standard and were willing to look past the superficial.

            • nanda

              I just wondering where did him had all those accurately information and percentage. Sounds pretty much non sense for me.

            • Jonesie

              As a black woman, I really hate admitting this, but where I live (NYC) I see black men with both attractive and “not so” (overweight, homely) white women. I do see black men with black women, but I’ve seen black men with white, supermodel types, walking down the street. Given, a lot (not all. NOT ALL) of the black women in this city do like to keep themselves looking right because this is afterall NYC. I see a lot of overweight black and hispanic women as well as white women. It’s kind of like a lottery draw. A lot of black women here eat right and hit the gym regularly as I’ve seen. I’ve seen PLENTY of black woman/white man couples, and it’s good to see that black women aren’t letting things hold them back.

              • KIR12

                I have seen white boys with thin homely looking black women and non black women. I have yet to see a white boy with an overweight black woman. This is the point that black women refuse to address because that eliminates 70% of them from even consideration.

                A white boy would rather be dragged down main street by wild horses butt naked than be seen in public with an overweight black woman.

                • take it for what it’s worth

                  for the record, I’m a Jewish male, happily married to a thick, but beautiful, black woman.

                  You guys should really stop bashing each other. It’s not a good look.

                  As far as the positive stereotype for Jewish men, listed above, it’s only about 50% true in my marriage, but that’s okay.

                  • KIR12

                    Talk to the crazy lady who wrote the book

          • kj1986nyc

            Only 22 percent of black women have a college degree, that’s means 78 percent that don’t. The ratio of black female to black male college graduates doesn’t really deviate from the ratio of other ethnicities. Women go to college more often across the board, why? Because the government makes it easier for them to do so, especially offering greater financial assistance to single females with children. And much of the degrees women obtain are fluff social science degrees where they’ll be lucky to make 30K with a master’s. Also 57 percent of white women are overweight/obese compared to 80 percent of black women. These overweight white females are overwhelmingly married to white males.

          • Blackhawk

            The Black Man is the Pharaoh of this planet. When we have are sh!t together no other man can come close to us.. thats why the rest of the world hate and try to mis-educate us when we are young so we will not reach our god potential. I expect it from the devils.. but whats sad is the devils have recruited the black woman like Deana Becker to disparage black boys from the womb with all their hellish lies.

            • Joseph Muchi

              When have you ever had your ” sh!t together ? Serious question, don’t take it the wrong way. And please try to answer without blaming someone else.

        • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

          So we are running with the popular cliche that black women are no more than a sexual fantasy for white men? Okay that’s a good but false one. Seeing as my single friends are on regular dating websites and get just as many h*rny black men offering their d*cks as any other race.

      • misss

        THANK YOU. Please tell me how to find someone unlike these oh soooooo wonderful BLACK males. I’ll wait. Mind you the last 4 black males I have met that heavily pursued me were all “married.” This is what I have to look forward to with a black king huh smh.

        • applesauce585

          There is an old saying “You attract what you are.” Maybe you should ask why are married men heavily pursuing you? IJS don’t mean no harm, just a thought!

          • misss

            I dont see what that has to do with me honey IJS. Im not married. I mind my business. Im educated, hard working, child free, attractive, and kind. These men are not my type or kind. They are all uneducated, barely working, multiple child’s mother, married maybe its ohhh let me think that 99% of all black men are ratchet.

            • applesauce585

              Again, you are educated, hard working, child free, attractive and kind. So, why “RATCHET” black men and not like minded black men who are also educated, hardworking, child free, attractive and kind.

              • misss

                what I like has nothing to do with who pursues me and just becauser wretched men pursure me does not mean I engage them. I just feel the lack of good black men out here, nothing to do with what I like.

          • sasha

            no. that saying is yet another way of holding women accountable for unacceptable male behavior.

          • 9Boots

            that is the dumbest statement ever said and people continue to repeat eat. RAGGEDY BM WOULD TRY TO GET MICHELLE OBAMA IF SHE WALKED BY. They have no perspective, they holla at everything.

        • Aestu

          So did you just ignore the rings on their fingers? Did you decide to just go along with their insistence you never visit their homes except during normal business hours?

          Applesauce got it right, you attract what you are.

      • SharonRose

        There are good bw who are marriage material and bad bw, just like there are good bm who are marriage material and bm who aren’t. I do remember watching a law&order episode, were a Jewish mother didn’t want her son marrying a Catholic girl, like it shocked me was it that bad? this is the world we live in, if you’re a good woman find you a good man.

      • Aestu

        Considering they could just get on the pill or IUD, yeah, it is their fault.

        The common theme between the total avoidability of accidental pregnancy and your remarks about mate selection is blaming the world rather than working with it. And that is kit and kin to the insecurity behind your comments about the world of men according to Black women.

        • Ebony in Hartford

          Trust me, no one wants black women to have way less oow children with the men who abandon them, and we both know who those men primarily are. I am happily enjoying my newlywed years childfree. Black women would be a lot less insecure if they realized there was huge world of men out there, just as black men avail themselves of the wide world of women.

          • Aestu

            “No one wants black women to have way less oow children with the men who abandon them”

            Including Black women? Funny how the gals who are stuck with the kids care less than the guys who aren’t. Is it because you get welfare and food stamps, so responsible choices don’t matter?

            The men aren’t “abandoning” these women because they never had a commitment to them in the first place. These women made the CHOICE to hook up with losers without protection – that’s hardly a commitment being “abandoned”!

            What kind of a “newlywed” life is it if you don’t have children? Again I smell insecurity – basic fear that your man will run off, or that you aren’t equal to the responsibility of raising a family, so why not just “enjoy” yourself?

            “Black women would be a lot less insecure if they realized there was huge world of men out there”

            Again this is insecurity talking. You can’t get security from other people, from men, whatever. You are getting the whole equation backwards. If Black women were less insecure in themselves, they would go for responsible men and the playas would be shamed into flying straight.

            Instead Black women prefer to drink the Koolaid and get by on welfare if they have kids, affirmative action if they don’t, blathering about they are invincible they are all the while.

            • Ebony in Hartford

              Thanks for comments however I didn’t seek marriage advice from you. Cute that you feel the audacity to tell me when/if my husband and I should have children or the terms of out newlywed life. Jealous of my free time to live life myself on my own terms are you? You sound like the kind of man who didn’t grow up with two loving parents and so seek to berate black women to cover for you limited sense of self-worth, the kind of man who is used to black woman shrinking in your presence because you are black and male. You are the perfect example of the type male person black women should avoid if she hopes to maintain an enjoyable life. My dear father warned me about your type and I am grateful. I have made it my business from childhood on to ally myself with people who like and value me.

              Security comes first from having a family who adores you and makes you feel safe, then from developing independence from your family as your make friends and pursue education and hobbies, then as you grow into young womanhood and seek love relationships and meaningful work and maybe kids if you want them. Often black women who are told black men are the only men who they can date and marry they develop a scarcity mentality. Please please continue to hate black women and choose a non-Black woman to deal with your delightful ideas about black women. Salute!

              Young black women who are interested in pursuing the good life free of welfare, oow babies and domineering hateful men like Aetsu feel free to contact me on Twitter.

              • Aestu

                Actually I am an Ashkenazi Jewish male who had two loving parents. Perhaps that long rant of yours is nothing but projection?

                Your “dear father” warned you of what? Do you realize that if your “dear father” were married to a woman who thought the way you do, didn’t see raising a family as an obligation and thought a woman should stick to emasculated men, far from having the life you claim to enjoy, you’d have been born to whoever happens to have kids out of wedlock (making it an acronym is sad and pathetic), to some self-righteous loudmouth woman who screams how invincible she is while getting by on the labors of those who pay for the social programs she is 100% reliant on?

                So what is the “good life” to you? What is “family” without children of choice?

                Your notion of the “good life” and “family” seems to be hanging around non-Black men whose character is never tested by having to tell you anything you don’t like to hear or having to commit to being fathers.

                Your basically insecure and self-centered attitude is far too common amongst Black women in and out of the ghetto – it is the problem at the root of the problems of Black men.

                • Ebony in Hartford

                  Oh, aren’t you are real hoot. My dear father told me to avoid men who simply don’t ‘like my kind’ and you clearly don’t. Best of luck to you. Mazel tov!

                  • Aestu

                    Cut it out with the racist innuendo. If I had “simply didn’t like your kind”, so far from dating them, I would not give Black ladies the time of day.

                    I don’t “simply not like” Black women, I don’t like the kind of Black woman you are – the crazy, entitled, angry kind with Daddy issues. Quick to leap to judgement, quick to rage, quick to hurl serious accusations, quick to make threats and extortionate demands, always the victim and never the aggressor.

                    A lot of White women are this way too for many of the same reasons – perverse systems that reward immature and self-centered behavior – and I don’t like them either.

                    And yes you do have Daddy issues. Funny how you keep recalling what your Daddy said as an automatic source of authority but hate men who challenge you and refuse raise a family of your own.

                    Your insecurity has you stuck at the age of 15 and that many Black women have come to think as you do is the plight of Black men.

                    • Ebony in Hartford

                      “the crazy, entitled, angry kind with Daddy issues” Aw, those string of black ladies you so poorly chose really did a number on you, huh? Do tell what it is about you the attracts these women to you over and over again?

                      So, you’re a psychologist/psychiatrist then? Where did you go to grad school/med school and do your clinical training?How old were you when you became a homeowner? With all this predicting that you can do of black and white women on the internet, have you managed to settle down under the chuppah and sign the ketubah yet? How many kids do you and the wife have? How long did you wait between your wedding day and the birth of your first child? Why are you so obsessed with being emasculated? How is YOUR relationship with your Daddy?

                    • Aestu

                      You have to have a sense of entitlement ten miles high to insist that any eligible man must be a professional who owns a home and is now just dying to sign half his life over you.

                      This is the Internet, so neither of us can verify the other’s claims. I could say I pull down seven digits and live in a mansion on 50 acres. But to answer your question directly – I just recently bought my first house here in Cincinnati, where I am working my way through graduate studies in accounting. I am single, and don’t have an immediate problem with that. My father is retired and lives in California with my mother.

                      Anyway, it’s really cute how when a man says something you don’t like, your instinct is to find some kind of fault with his life by comparing him to a hypothetical ideal mate who is way out of your league. It’s charming, really. I bet that attitude will get you a real man of character for your life.

                      And I don’t need to know the man you now with to know he doesn’t qualify – no decent, self-respecting man is going to put up with that in the long haul. This kind of crazy, demanding nonsense is exactly what I alluded to in my previous posts.

    • Marie Bano

      This site used to keep pushing swirl relationships until people complained. Black people need to accept one thing. We live in denial about how much this society wants to destroy us and how much we have become our own worst enemies. The black race must gets its act together and stop with the infighting, insults and having no pride and self respect. We have to stop taking our insecurities and frustrations out on each other. During slavery, Jim crow, the civil rights era when times were harsh for us we kept our families together and respected each other as black men and black women. There are faults on both sides but we have become like white supremacists in our hate for each other. Black men have issues often based on growing up without fathers, this has left them insecure, lacking self worth and having low self esteem . We need them to be strong and have pride but we must build them up and stop running them down, Equally black women must have more regard for themselves in relationships and stop having children with men who will be bad fathers. We need to act like Queens to be treated like Queens. Black men need to stop attacking us and pulling us down to feel better about ourselves. America is changing and white people will soon be in the minority. We must build strong families and a strong community. Start with yourself, be polite to all black people you meet, do not attack a black person, build healthy relationships and learn to forgive.

    • Rosa

      Exactly

    • Shawna

      Why just Jewish men? Asian men are good too. Get a Chinese or Indian man, they are good income earners and family-oriented. Also, despite the stereotypes, many of them like Black women. I know several Black women who have successful relationships with Asian men, and the ratio of Asian men is greater (more Asian men than Asian women). Any ladies out there date an Asian man?

      • Jimmy Smith

        Indians are over rated, the ones in America are the smart ones, and Indians aren’t genetically Asian, the Indians back in India are just as careless as black men in the states, the East Asian men are smart though.

    • kartashok

      Interesting that the very same people viciously spreading the race mixing agenda are the most anti-mixing group ever. Why would God’s chosen people want to lay with any gentiles/goyim?