Probably the most interesting part of Sunday’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta happened in the last nine minutes of the show when everybody’s favorite Southern fried attorney and funeral parlor owner, Phaedra Parks, decided to confront her boy toy…er…I mean husband, Apollo Nida, over allegations of inappropriate relations and texts with fellow cast mate Kenya Moore.
Sitting across from each other over plates of seafood, Parks, who had been stewing since last season over Moore and Nida’s budding “friendship,” once again brings up the text messages that the two had been exchanging as well as a supposed chance meeting at a luxury Los Angeles hotel. In previous conversations held off-screen, but retold on camera for our (the viewers) benefit, Moore allegedly offered Apollo oral copulation according to him, an allegation that Moore has denied. IN fact, in a previous scene, Moore showed cast member and Parks’ gal pal Kandi Burruss proof that the texts were not initiated by her and that there wasn’t anything wildly inappropriate about their exchange. Kandi did think calling him “babe” was inappropriate, but one could argue that such a term could be interpreted as a harmless and non-romantic term of endearment used by black folks who are trying to be bougie. Nida confirmed, again, that nothing happened during their meeting at the hotel (even though he let Parks know that he was certain he could “smash” if he wanted to), however, he did claim once again that Moore came on to him. Not fully believing Nida’s version of events, Parks prodded him for more details of this alleged meeting in which Moore supposedly propositioned Nida, to which Nida clarified what he meant by saying:
“Women don’t proposition, they just don’t come at me and be like, ‘hey Apollo, let’s f**k.’ You dated men before, you know when a man is pushing up on you or you know when the female is basically open.”
If you ask me, it’s hard to say either way if the attacks on Moore are warranted. As a cast member, she has been over the top. However, I don’t buy for one second that Moore was telepathically sending messages to Nida that she wanted to slob his knob during their meeting in the hotel. As much as Moore has become everyone’s favorite whipping girl, I don’t think you can lay the burdens of Nida’s subconscious desire at her feet. If I were a betting woman, I would say that more than likely, Apollo was responding to his own guilty conscience, which made him want to switch hotels in order to avoid the temptress with the sixth sense.
But in spite of all the evidence that this alleged inappropriate behavior was probably a figment, or even wishful thinking, of Nida’s active mind, somehow Moore is still implicated as a co-conspirator; not just by Parks, but by most of the other cast members and women in America. Why?
Perhaps there is some off-air gossip we have not been privy to. Or perhaps it is just a matter of good ol’ fashion competitiveness. Women take lots of crap in life, with few exceptions. For instance, you can step on a woman’s shoes; you can pay her less than men for the same work; you can even deny her choice over her reproductive organs, but whatever you do, don’t you dare mess with another woman’s man. Not only will owner of said man likely try to snatch you up, but so will much of the female populous, who have a particular disdain for suspected husband-snatchers. Heck, you don’t even have to be after anyone’s man. In some instances, the implication of being single, attractive and in the vicinity of a taken man is enough justification to warrant isolation and aggression from other women, concerned that you might “steal” their man (cue Parks’ last season borderline desperate attempt at bringing out the big guns…excuse me, “buns” in a fishnet thong swimsuit).
I know that is a huge generalization, but according to this article in the New York Times, there may even be scientific proof. More specifically, a study by McMaster University, which tested female reaction to anticipated female competition by putting women test subjects in a room with a hot blonde woman (unbeknownst to them, she was a lab assistant) and filming their reaction when she left the room. According to the Times article, it was discovered that the hot blonde received little attention from the other women when dressed in conservative clothing, however, when the same girl reappeared, this time dressed in a short skirt or tight jeans and low-cut top, which all accented her “low waist-to-hip ratio, clear skin, large breasts,” that’s when all the judgement and hostility started.
From the article:
The results of the experiment jibe with evidence that this “mean girl” form of indirect aggression is used more by adolescents and young women than by older women, who have less incentive to handicap rivals once they marry. Other studies have shown that the more attractive an adolescent girl or woman is, the more likely she is to become a target for indirect aggression from her female peers.
“Women are indeed very capable of aggressing against others, especially women they perceive as rivals,” said Dr. Vaillancourt, now a psychologist at the University of Ottawa. “The research also shows that suppression of female sexuality is by women, not necessarily by men.”
Stigmatizing female promiscuity — a.k.a. Slore-shaming — has often been blamed on men, who have a Darwinian incentive to discourage their spouses from straying. But they also have a Darwinian incentive to encourage other women to be promiscuous. Dr. Vaillancourt said the experiment and other research suggest the stigma is enforced mainly by women.
Are we naturally programmed to see single, attractive women as predatory or competitors? It’s an interesting theory and one that might be supported based upon how easily it is to shame the other woman for an affair – or an imagined affair – even as the owner of said cheater continues to handcuff and defend the male culprit. Maybe more will be revealed in the season to confirm Parks’ sneaking suspicions about Moore, but for now, and based on what the texts revealed and what Nida said out of his own mouth, it does appear that Moore is just being punished for being single and for Nida’s inappropriate behavior.
