14 Things Men Are Instantly Attracted To, Other Than Looks

December 3, 2013  |  
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Have you ever been dragged to a bar on a night when you were so not feeling attractive? But by some miracle, you were getting more male attention than you do on the nights you spend two hours doing your makeup? Here’s a secret: there are plenty of things guys notice immediately, other than your looks, that can overpower any bad hair day.

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It’s okay if your hair is in a bun and you’re in workout pants and a hoodie: just be clean. When you’re clean, you look healthy and health looks beautiful.


Being game for anything

What good is a gorgeously put together girl who won’t dance to the live music? Or try the funny food truck outside? Or play the messy, loud drinking game? If you bring the good time, or at least are always looking for it, men can’t help but want to be around you.


A little girliness

If you really are elegant and delicate (which you can totally be while still being independent and confident), that will shine through even if you’re in sweat pants. Men love a woman who isn’t afraid to act a little “girly,” and doesn’t feel the need to put up a tough front.




Do you wait forever to have a server get you a glass of water? Or do you dash behind the bar and serve yourself a glass from the pitcher? Do you wait for an open cab on a super busy night, or do you ask a couple in a van cab if you can share the ride? Men love seeing that you can take care of yourself.



Patience and positivity

Men notice if you bark at the bartender, “Get me a Vodka Tonic,” or if you politely flag him down and say, “Hey. How are you doing? Could I please get a Vodka Tonic?” and then you calmly smile and wait, even if it takes twenty minutes. When you’re at a bar or party, there will be plenty of opportunity to get aggravated and negative, and once you let that start, the night’s ruined. Men appreciate a woman who wants to enjoy things as they are.


Eye contact

Think of the hoards of people you pass in the street, or even stand shoulder to shoulder with at the bar who look at you as if they’re looking right past you. If you hold eye contact with a guy while speaking to him, and really look at him, he will feel attracted to you more than he will to a perfectly made-up girl who looks all around the room during a conversation.




When you approach the bar at the exact same time as someone else, do you let that person go ahead, or argue that you were there first? When a server is walking towards you with hands full of plates, do you step aside and make room for him, or make him find his way through the crowd? Men pay attention to situations in which you have a clear choice to be selfish or generous.



A smile

Men are suckers for a smile! And every smile is a great smile. If you tell yourself you’re happy to be somewhere and to just be alive, you can’t help but have a big, beautiful smile on your face. Everybody is attracted to joy.



Nobody is perfect and men know that. They’re not looking for a woman who is perfect: they’re looking for one who acknowledges and loves her own flaws and gives herself praise for her strengths and accomplishments. It’s hard not to love someone who loves herself.

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Something to say

If you’re looking for a quality man, then speak up in conversations! It’s okay to disagree with something a guy says. It’s even okay to be more educated than him on a certain subject. It’s okay to show that you’re a downright genius! Don’t keep quiet to make him feel intelligent—a good man will love that you’re proud of what you know.

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A little attitude

Deep down, all men want a girl who will put them in their place. They want to be able to act stupid sometimes, but they don’t want a girlfriend who just giggles or stays silent. If a guy is acting like a jerk, sometimes he’s just waiting to find the girl who will say something about it.



Your scent

Men love a sweet but subtle scent on a woman. Avoid floral or strong perfumes, and get ones that smell earthy or like candy.

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Your love for your friends

No guy wants to talk to the girl who is ignoring her friends, eagerly looking around the room to catch a guy’s attention. A guy wants to see that you love being around your friends, and you engage with the people you go out with. If you are enjoying conversation and laughing with your friends, men will be drawn to you.



You ask questions

So many girls have the mindset that men are supposed to impress them, and they let men do all the talking. But men are humans too! They want to have others get to know them, they want to share things about themselves, and they want the chance to brag a little. If you make a point to ask a guy questions about himself, you’ll immediately stand out from other women he talks to that night.

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  • Asky Askerson

    Patience and positivity! I think those are the main ones. Be nice to others. It’s not impressive when a woman isn’t, it’s embarrassing. I went on a double date once. Two gorgeous men, me, and my ex-friend girl. Well, that girl ended up cussing out the waiter when he mistakenly got my order wrong. I was fine with it and was just going to eat it anyway but my friend was trying to come to my defense (which is nice) and yelled at the waiter (which is terrible). Her date was so embarrassed, and so was I. She was rude and mean and grumpy the entire time and then months later acted like her boyfriend was the terrible one for not wanting to be with such an angry bitter woman.

  • Chez

    I disagree wit #13. What self-respecting grown woman would choose a scent favoring candy/sweets over a mild or even floral scent? Candy scented perfume is childish and more of a teenager thing.

  • MittMoney

    Nothing attracts me more that a woman who returns my phone call. Play “hard to get”—-you are history.

  • Anzaloqq

    #15. Originality. So many copycat people out here. Speak alike, think alike, do alike folks. Original ladies are a turn on.

    #16. Ride or die. A woman that let’s you stand up for yourself in public and will ride for you as well as tell you if and when you’re wrong is a keeper.
    #17. Defend herself. Love a lady who keeps herself in shape and can actually hold her own physically. Strong on the inside, fine on the outside. Whooo!

  • B

    The Resourcefulness one was hilarious! It is NOT okay to do those things…who cares what men are and are not attracted to as a whole. You’re not trying to date all the men of this world. Better yourself, for yourself…and no one else. That is truly attractive. Self growth, the willingness to be good and do good and be genuine about it.

  • Rochelle

    I’m confused about the responses to this article. I read through and though I am a woman, I can see that the author is on point. Not only with men, but people like these qualifies in other people as a whole. I see no issue. Especially with the ones that have to do with overall rudeness. Barking at a bartender, being a mute in conversations, being a wet blanket whiny brat are not qualities attractive in anyone. Certainly not attractive in a man, so I see no issue.

    • What she’s saying is you don’t need to be dolled up to get attention. Just act like a normal human being with some home training.

  • applesauce585

    In a family with brothers, male cousins, uncles one of the most important thing (not noted) is how a woman carries herself.

  • LOL

    AND…….She gives the WORST relationship advice.

    • BabyBlue


    • SharonRose

      Especially the one saying how to date a guy with STD, like no sir! saying there is high chance in your lifetime tht you’ll date fall in love or marry someone with herpes. Like whatever floats your boat. I thought I’d seen everything.

      • s.lee

        Exactly…I thought that was the reason you should know peoples status/STD etc before jumping into that situation. Let me KNOW before we get to where I might feel that way about you to give me that choice. Im not trying to be discriminatory, but you should give a person who is not infected that information so they can make the decision to deal with it. I would be beyond peed if we get deep and bout to get down and you say that. No SIR, immediate dismissal. You don’t get to choose whether I risk my health or not.

        • SharonRose

          Thank you, I’m not going to be living in fear for the rest of my life, even if you tell me and we were to date, if I was to catch it I’d be pissed.

    • stewwie

      it’s kind of weird, sometime she have a deep understanding too….