Nia Long Says She Wanted A White Love Interest In “The Best Man Holiday” And It’s No Disrespect To Black Men

334 Comments
November 15, 2013 ‐ By

The Best Man Holiday Nia Long

When we asked Malcolm D. Lee about his decision to include an interracial relationship in “The Best Man Holiday,” he told us the idea was actually Nia Long’s, so when we got the beauty together alongside Sanaa Lathan and Taye Diggs we had to ask where the inspiration came from.

When we asked whether there was any concern about whether that story line would perpetuate the notion that there are no good black men Nia said not at all, telling us explicitly:

“[Jordan and Brian] meet because of the social worlds that they’re in and it works; and when something works you don’t judge it based on what package it comes in. You judge it on how it makes you feel and if it works for your life…

We’re living in a modern world where it happens and it’s OK and it’s no disrespect to any black man. I love black men, but the reality is the sistahs are marrying white men and the brothas are marrying white women and that’s the world that we live in and it’s not to be judged, and if it works for you then embrace it.”

Unsurprisingly, Taye Diggs co-signed Nia’s sentiments, but as we already see from the comment thread developing on our YouTube feed, some folks are not so understanding. Check out the full interview with these three in the video below and tell us what you think about Nia’s comments.

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  • handsomerandyblackladbrad1953

    Well,since NO programme-black or white,would dream of having a life-size Brad-from 1968-
    ’72,Brad was Barbie’s then-boyfriend Ken’s handsome black buddy;in my case,I’m a good ol’ black Canadian lad,60,with boyish good looks,a muscular build-I’m 5’9″,200-205 lb.,18-inch biceps-who’s attempting to become a Country song-writer and said to resemble a handsome black cowboy IN AND OUT of my Wranglers jeans and other Western or casual garb-such as Yours Truly,I don’t give two craps about Nia Long or anyone else on TV!!!!!

  • Nyomi

    I hate how society puts lighter skin woman on a pedestal. Point blank. Nothing else to be said.

  • jamie

    im sorry texin too fast they never cast black men with there best lookin white woman but they all ways but black woman with white men

  • jamie

    lol its funny in white movies u always see a white man with our best black woman but that never cast a black man with there best woman

  • BigDawg

    This is a perfect opportunity to point out that if a black Male actor were to go out of his way to suggest a white love interest, he would have been cursed to hell by black women. But Nia Long does it, and it’s ok… Hmmm…

  • bIGrOB

    She must want to be a bed winch. I just scrached her off my favorate girl list.

    • Ebony in Hartford

      A winch? LOL I am sure she is crying to be removed from your ‘list’

  • bIGrOB

    I didn’t like it at all, Black men have it hard enough all ready. And to think she use to be my girl. That part could have went to a BROTHER!!!

  • PinK

    I agree with Nia…that is all.

  • The Truth Hurts

    Why is it that the same black women who make negative comments about a black man dating a white woman, will praise a black woman for dating a white man? Isn’t that hypocritical?

    If Taye Diggs said he wanted a white female love interest, and would take away a black actress’s job in the process, black women would be giving him hell.

    • Nyomi

      This is actually try when you think about it. I would of got upset if Taye Diggs sought our a white woman for the role.

      • The Truth Hurts

        So in that same breath, why is it perfectly acceptable for Nia Long to seek out a white man for the role, depriving a Black male actor of a job?

  • ghostwriter066

    Nia long demands a white man as her love interest in The Best Man Holiday and nobody says a thing. Taye Diggs says that he misses his white wife from being on the movie set and black women lose their Eff’ing minds! Double standard. It’s ok for black women to date/ marry outside their race, but as soon as a black man dates/ marries outside of his, he is a sellout, weak, and can’t deal with a strong black woman? I am not knocking interracial dating or anything don’t get me wrong, RG3 gets blasted for marrying his white wife, Taye Diggs gets blasted for his white wife, Terrance Howard blasted for marrying his white wife, Ice T gets blasted for Coco, Kanye West gets blasted for Kim (among other reasons) Harold Perrineau gets blasted because of his, Wesley Snipes and his wife, Denzel Washington got blasted for Making love to Mila Jovavich in He got game, Tiger woods got shitted on because of his marriage. But Oh no!!!! Sanaa Lathan gets no flack for her movie Something New, Nia Long gets a pass for Best Man Holiday, Halle Berry gets a pass for her marriage, and for Monster’s Ball. Alfre Woodard gets a pass and, Kerry Washington gets a pass for Last King of Scotland, Lakeview Terrace, and black women’s favorite show Scandal. I’m not tripping, but why is it all of a sudden ok for them? If Morris Cheasnut marries a white woman, black women everywhere would ignite and go thermal nuclear over it… But let Angela Bassett hook up with Matthew McConaughey, I bet you we would hear crickets…

  • Indy Syder

    Reading these derelict comments from both sides shows why both black men and black women are a bunch of f***ing stooges.

  • Onaje Allan Gumbs

    Nia Long’s assessment is totally correct. Taye Diggs’ wife is white. Cuba Gooding’s wife is white. Robert Deniro’s wife is black. Chiwetel Ejiofor’s girlfriend is white, George Lucas(Star Wars) is hooked up with a Black Woman. The late film critic ,Roger Ebert was married to a black woman. The great Frederick Douglass’ parents were bi-racial. Interracial dating, marriage or just hookups is far from trending. On the TV show, Once Upon A Time, there was a sistah romantically hooked up with a white dude. This is a non issue period.

  • Queen Mennon

    all these Black people are confused and delusional. are they so removed from the day to day struggles of Black people they can talk flippantly about the modern dating patterns between the races? they have no idea? screw them. white people and the government of the united states have been brutal towards Black people, absolutely brutal and uncivilized on so many levels but they are good enough to sweetheart and marry? some Black people are really slaves. OMG

  • sd0987

    Black men are lazy. Of course she wants a white man.

  • Dr80ew .

    Before our color we are all human. It comes down to judging someone on their personality, attributes, etc.. and never judge a book by its cover.

  • John Eightysevenoheight Jtrajy

    There’s been interracial dating in movies before! i’m saying she isn’t exactly pioneering a movement, i.e. Olivia Pope?

  • Kam

    I don’t find black men attractive but I don’t hate them either. I think people can date who they want without putting down people in their own race. If you put down your own race something is wrong with you.

  • mainstreamisoverrated

    I don’t have a problem with ANYONE dating outside of their race. I have a problem with losers blaming the women for jumping ship. I am seeing ALOT of mixed babies with no daddies though……..

    • Ebony in Hartford

      Oh yeah? What color are there mothers?

  • Concerned Reader

    You do not have to apologise to black men or even mention them, Nia.

    I bet many are going to be destroyed when they find out that the kiss between Carter (Taraji Henson) and Reece on her last episode of Person of Interest was UNSCRIPTED. Yes, that absolutely gorgeous white man kissed HER. Get over your delusions and desperate wishes. There are many, many, gorgeous, educated men of all races who love black women.

    • RickyboyH

      It’s called ACTING. Improvising is (naturally) a part of it. Caviezel (Mr. Reece/Reese) IS married with children you know. Tom Cruise kissing Kelly McGillis (After chasing her car on his motorcycle) in Top Gun wasn’t scripted either, now that doesn’t mean that Mr. Cruise tried to convert Ms. McGillis from lesbianism now, does it?

      • Concerned Reader

        Awww, did the kiss hurt you, poor boy? Take your rant and share it with the nearest brick wall, please. You haven’t told me anything I don’t know.

  • TJohnson13

    There is nothing wrong either way dating within your race or outside it. It simply wasn’t thought of during my time. However, at 50 years old in today’s world and having experienced so many cultural/social changes/diversity it has become just something that is. I do admit that I have been slightly attracted to a handful of other races (do love American Indians though!), however, I too looked for Mr. Black Man (the right black man). I am married to a black man. However, if I wasn’t I would consider other races. I have bi-racial grandchildren and though I know they are “mixed” I only see that they are mine and are beautiful! We all came from the same God and according to the bible Adam and Eve which means we are ALL related. If we can get pass the sown racial biases and instead focus on acceptance and love we can move past what color our mates are, or will be. Change begins with me. Therefore, I embrace the opportunity to love period!

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  • asal aja

    komen

  • Friday Foster-ABWW

    Three of the black male actors in the film are married to non-black women & folks are having a fit about Nia Long’s fictional relationship? Please….

  • Dinnyq

    People have issues with IR relationships in 2013? Sad.

  • TYBLACK

    Nia is just attempting a position switch. She thinks if Hollywood knows she down. And its a hot topic. Maybe she can get on the Halle Zoe level of things. You gotta take off the blinders.

  • oldschoolyrw

    The vast majority of Black men are married to Black women. THAT us what entertainment should reflect. If you look at the movies, tv shows, commercials, etc. You would think that Black men and women don’t want, like or love each other. There is an agenda there.

  • cbtaylo

    People say that successful black men only want white women but lets see how many sisters that date or married white men exclusively….Naomi Campbell, Zoe Saldana, Eve, Halle Berry, Paula Patton, Iman, Tina Turner, Tamera Mowery, Thandie Newton, Stacey Dash, Sharon Leal, Whoopi, Alfre Woodard, Diana Ross, Nicole Beharie, etc, etc, let people date who they want and stop the sweeping indictments of black men as traitors or sellouts.

    • blogdiz

      I bet you had to dig for that list of the top of my head I can come out with a list of BM who do not not date BW 10 times as long plus at least 6 of these women are half white so im not sure how their relationships can be classified as IR
      and not that its a competition but as far as Hollywood is concerned it actually is an exception not the rule to see a black man with a black woman on the red carpet
      and that says a lot about us like it or not

      • cbtaylo

        It is what it is, thats just a short list of black women that do not date black men, but whats more shocking is that its the cream of the crop, imagine if Denzel, Idris Elba, Lance Gross, Mo Chestnut, Will Smith (Cream of the crop) did not date or marry sisters? I am just pointing out that the best of our brothers do marry or date sisters, thats all. If u want a brotha or elite brotha, be more aggressive or sociable.

  • Hannibal

    THE BLACK GENDER WAR IS STILL REAL OUT HERE! I GUESS WE’RE STILL MAKING THIS A COMPETITION TO SEE WHO CAN DATE OUT THE MOST!

  • http://www.funbookes.com/ www.funbookes.com

    forever war between black and W.

  • Dee Hines

    Lets not fake the funk, it’s a growing trend that has little to do with a reflection of society. If you’ve noticed, for the last few years black rom coms have added a white presence so it can get away from being seen as a “black only” movie.

  • me

    I don’t understand this trend of black women apologizing for dating non-black men. Black men have flaunted their white and “other” women for decades with no apologies or concerns – which is fine, because that’s their right.. Just do you …

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  • GymJunkie43

    Black relationships started their demise when Kobe Bryant stopped messing with Brandy, his black female equal that he could build a Hov and Bey type empire with, in favor of a mexican high school drop out. How many black and white doctors, lawyers, college professors did Tiger Woods and other black celebrities walk right past to get to a white nanny? How many black female equals do News Anchors and Corporate Execs walk past to get to the secretary just bc she’s white? Why are we going after Nia, who in real life has only dated black men, for a movie storyline, when there are black men in real life, including all of her male costars in the Best Man, picking up the left overs of other communities???

    YES, I said left overs. I have had this conversation with non-black men and 9/10 when a black man is with a non-black woman, he is getting the undesirable scraps and leftovers of that community. The prime cut will always date let alone marry her own or someone very fair skinned or at least wealthy. How often do you see a gorgeous, successful, rich (meaning $$ coming from trust fund, athleticism or self made) non-black woman with an equally successful, rich, gorgeous black man? How often do you see a relationship like Eva Longoria – succesful rich Latina dating let alone marrying a black male equal like Tony Parker?? I rest my case. When black men date out of their race, they are usually getting the chicks the white, asian or indian men don’t want. For alot of these women, the black man is the last chance of settling down before growing old alone and poor.

    These double standards are hilarious. Either love is blind or every body stays in the community. Choose one.

    • Really now?

      Name one black man of power and wealth dating trash? Wasn’t Heidi Klum ( voted the most beautiful women in the world ) dating a black man ( Seal I beleive and he had a busted face too )? Only broke brothas date undesirable women of other races. Actually the less money any man makes, they usually tend to have less than attractive women. Now tell me, when was the last time a successful black woman dated a white man that was considered the most attractive man in the world? Or at least Hollywood?
      The Channing Tatums and Brad Pitts aren’t dating sisters like very often that and for every black woman that does there at least ten more black men dating hot non-black women. It seems powerful sisters date the men even white women don’t want. As you can see successful brothers aren’t hurting for options, only the black ones. Remember that ABC special about the group of successful black women crying about not finding men? Never seen the brothas do that.

      • Janae

        If black men went after acquiring power in the world like they do bragging about white women, they would actually have one sixteenth of the power that other men in the world enjoy. That is exactly why you have no power out in the world that your asian and white counterparts enjoy and they laugh at you! fatherless negroes….glad I had a father…smh

      • Guest

        I understand what you are saying, but I think both black men and black women tend to date the scraps (either lookswise, successwise, or both) of the white race. Alphas date other Alphas. A white Alpha male or female will date a white Alpha of the opposite gender. Heidi Klum though viewed as successful and beautiful was also knocked up and dumped by a rich white man when she got with Seal, so at that point she was a scrap. No alpha white male would marry a woman that was pregnant with another man’s baby no matter how successful or beautiful she was. Seal was happy to take her that way, but I doubt he would have taken a knocked up and dumped black woman. Somehow white makes everything alright!

  • Shonda

    I loves me some white men, they know how to take care of a women and they raise they babies like a real man..

    • Alexis

      Usually bed wenches who can’t pick black men say that.

    • queenbee9

      That is such an untrue statement. There are many white males who are dead beat dads, who molest their kids, and who are abusive to women. I think you must be trolling because no one with a modicum of sense would say something like that. The sins of irresponsibility and abuse are in all the races, as is cheating, lying and the rest of it. There are great black and white and Indian and Hispanic men and there are the not so great and the downright horrible. A lot of what a woman gets, depends on what she chooses and the part she plays in the relationship also.

    • Guest

      I am sure all the white women who have been cheated on, divorced, abused, murdered by, left to raise children alone, and left financially dry by white men would beg to differ.

  • Herm Cain

    Contrary to the lies being spewed on here black men don’t give af what black women do I thought Nia and the white boy did a decent job and it gave the movie a twist black women like to believe brothers feel a way about them dating out everyone I know says weigh your options and wherever you find love more power to you brothers are gonna continue to do them a major problem is interracial love has no voice it’s usually a bitter envious lonely individual creating cliche stereotypes every black person that dates out isn’t self hating

    • Straight Up

      Try again Herm Cain, every BLACK person you know speaks that “wherever you find love, weigh your options, be colorblind, blah blah blah…” nonsense. We are the only people on the planet who have internalized, believe and promote that rhetoric. Asians, Arabs, Whites, Hispanics, Jews…nobody promotes interracial mating/procreating like blacks. Black men are the main culprits…so quick to dilute your seed. Despite what they say to you or what you choose to believe…actions speak louder than words. Men who perpetually date/mate outside their race are suffering from self-esteem issues. end of story. Be ye not deceived.

      • Alexis

        It coincides with slavery. Blacks have been the target race forever in this country so they naturally, not all,have some interest in wanting to feel accepted, no other ethnic group has that problem.

      • RickyboyH

        Exactly! My ancestors didn’t fight & die for me to marry and have babies with a white woman during the period of colonization. That would be the ultimate “diss” towards my ancestors who gave their lives so that their offspring live on, carrying their legacy with them. I’d rather die childless & single than marrying any non-black woman. I won’t have it!

    • Guest

      Stereotypes? You mean like every white man knows how to treat a woman.

      Do you not see the hypocrisy in your posts?

  • Straight Up

    Nia sounds like a fool in this interview. What possible reason would she have for wanting a white love interest in a black movie? She still didn’t answer the question. She’s hoping she can get on that Kerry Washington career plan by being the white man’s h0e rag. Malcolm Lee is a fool for going along with that garbage. Little respect lost for Nia at this point.

  • GymJunkie43

    Nia Long shouldn’t be apologetic for having a white love interest. A. It’s a brilliant strategic move bc that means the Best Man is not a “black movie” so more non-black people will go see it.. B. Most of the time when you see a black woman with a white man, she is dating an equal or higher. Her standards don’t change just because he’s white. Some Black men will date “any ol thing” as long as she is not black ie (Elin Woods the nanny), basically the leftovers that the white men didn’t want. So why should the black woman be apologizing?!

  • queenbee9

    This ENTIRE dialogue about IR relationships boils down to one salient point: people being furious that others are not living THEIR VERSION of en entire race’s life. It is the same kind of ugly frenzy applied to proponents for or against gay marriage or abortion or segregation– SOME Black women who are angry that other blacks dare to not maintain a status quo… Some black men who are angry that other blacks are not maintaining THEIR version of how the races should interact.

    Can we all agree that NO PERSON should try to dictate how any other person can navigate or live their life? this means if a black man wants to only chase and date black or white or another race–so be it –his life. The same goes for a black woman–and if any of YOU don’t like it? Then don’t date or marry outside your race–but your decisions and actions stop with you and do not extend to anyone else and we really, really should stop trying to dictate such nonsense to others–if we die out then that was meant to be also–nobody is going to stop pursuing who they want to appease other blacks who they do not know or interact with–it is ridiculous and btw, this is not limited to black men and women, whites lament and argue and are bitter about this same subject and other races (Indian and Asian come to mind also may feel this way) it is about ethnic identity and racial separatism but the bottom line is –

    -YOU DO YOU and others will DO themselves and no matter what we may think as individuals we really cannot expect them to live our version of THEIR life.
    Step off it–it is a waste of energy and an ugly dualism (especially if you want people to stay out of your business yet you want to dictate who another can love or interact with–none of your business–even if it means the “race” will end. What the heck does that mean anyway? Know any “pure” blacks in America? I’d like to DNA test that “fact”.

  • queenbee9

    LOL. well… since I have been married to a white man for over 20 years and when we did it white males were mostly “sneaking around” with black women but not many were getting openly married… I see nothing wrong with it–black males and black females need to really mean it when they speak of “doing you” and let other folks be–why not? what is good for the goose is also good for the gander and vice versa.

    • Straight Up

      Neither one should participate in crimes against their race. Assuming they are black. My philosophy is If you ain’t black…stay back.

      • queenbee9

        Going with someone outside of your race is not a crime against a race it is a disregard of race in favor of the human element. Granted, some people do cross color lines out of self hatred or due to being color struck or giving into to media headgames but not all. sometimes it really is as simple as finding an affinity with a person and CHOOSING to disregard skin color and cultural dogma in favor of their continued company. WHEN that occurs other blacks need to step back and have no say.
        Do you know why you have NO SAY? Because in the day to day lives of each of us, we are not there helping or supporting each other. When a black male or female is lonely or wish to talk to a kindred spirit or wants someone who enjoys a certain activity or mindset, where are the judgers? When bills need to be paid, or debates dialogue needs are paramount, where are judgers?When a brother wants a woman who does not harp on him or ridicule him or a sister wants a man who actually will choose to commit and be there in her children’s life and as her help mate–where are the judgers?
        And if you and others say blacks who step out should keep looking within their own race because like Prego spaghetti sauce the great guys are in there so keep looking –WhO ARE YOU to tell people how long to look, where to look and what to look for? Keep your OWN house, MIND your OWN business, and live your OWN Lives–because no matter what at the end of the day if you are not willing to raise every fatherless or motherless black child or provide the finances for every other black without the means or stay up to keep company with all the people YOU deem should keep searching then you (and the you is rhetorical but refers to ALL NOSY BLACK POWER TYPES) need to handle your own business and stop minding others.
        Food for thought: Blacks are not a homogenous people and NEVER were. When first brought to America many blacks were forcefully mated to people they would NEVER have touched even in Africa. In fact in many tribes simply going outside the tribe was taboo and the offspring were viewed as contaminations. So the fact that an Ashante might now be mated to a Yoruban or Fang was seen as heresy. YOU May see a difference due to skin color but to many in Africa we American blacks are already a mutt cause not truly “of the race” any more due to contamination and within this mixture and tragedy that is both the history and the triumph of our diaspora we dare to act as if we have “sacred” blood lines and a race.
        We DO have a race–it is the human one–we are (almost all of us no matter how dark) a mixture–we ARE European and Polynesian and Asian and Native American and some are more or all of the above–the point? Live your life–preserve what you think you need to–but you are not anyone except yourself and are not captain of any vessel except your own–you won’t even control your kids–instead of cultivating color, cultivate achievement–cultivate faith and love and charity and TOLERANCE, cultivate understanding and cooperation, cultivate a strong sense of self–but don’t do like the Pharoahs and concentrate on the outside of the cup when the inside needs work–work on the inside and let the INSIDE of any person, be more important–FAR more important –than the shell or package or skin color they come wrapped in. Amen.

        • Straight Up

          This was a great screed queenbee….but you clearly have bought into and accepted the lie. I do not and will never see how anyone can mate/procreate/co-habitate with their oppressor. That to me is the ultimate affront to your ancestors and to your progeny. No justification for that. This is partly the reason why blacks will always be the donkeys of the planet, because we accept and internalize garbage like this. You can find no other race of people on this green planet that believe, support and tolerate this nonsense but blacks. But thank you for the dialogue anyway, your perspective is appreciated.

          • queenbee9

            No, Straight up–here is logic: If half black and half white people were considered black 5 years ago or even 20, then if 2 of them married they are black, right? But genetically those kids are no different than biracial kids now. They would still be biracial–but since now we wish to disown half blacks then their offspring are also not black since their mating would be a black with a mixed person–so…. (probably this includes a lot of super soul brothers and sistahs right now)
            the fact is, we are our main oppressors right now and this has been the case for the past 60 or so years. We don’t like to believe or see it that way, but take a good long look at what is going on in our neighborhoods. I remember going into a city in the Midwest from the east coast and having to endure a year of fighting and ridicule because “I talked too proper and thought I was better than everyone else” I was 11. I had no idea that stuff like this went on in black neighborhoods.
            I went through even more confrontations because I was “uppity” and smart, “buying into the white man’s game” When I go back to this state and to that city, the same people who berated me and despised me for being a “sell out” are still in the hood, on welfare or going to the Trustees office or maybe if they are the lucky few, they have a job at Chrysler or at the Post office.
            I have a college degree–and have had a wonderful life–it is like I am from another planet. They are content to live in neighborhoods high in crime–six out of every 10 people I went to hs with is either on drugs, in jail or dead. only 1 out of 10 ever completed college. We all had access to college grants–we were all poor enough. We all could have gone to school and could have worked on grades when in hs but THAT was not emphasized in most black families.
            white people did not oppress us or teach us this–this was the nature of my black community. We talked a lot about the black man being oppressed and negated the part blacks play in their own oppression. Case in point–when others were going to the community center, smoking week or drinking, having sex and making babies–I was at home studying or going to church.
            When others spent their money on tube tops and stacks and blow outs, I saved my money to pay for my books to college. When the SAT was given, we all had to attend, I was one of the few blacks to stay to actually try to get a good score and when they had college night (and in our state all who maintained at least a C could get a PELL grant and go to college) I was one of only 6 blacks to attend–the rest were white kids.
            THAT was not an oppressor doing anything–that was a ghetto mindset made manifest. I was also a product of this environment–but once I left and went to college I found I grew up–but my fellow ghetto buddies did not–they bragged or laughed about who was in jail now or a street pharmacist and what gangs were now in and how it was the wild , wild west–they talked about how white people mistreated them and how “bourgie nigras” like me could not understand their “struggle” which involved a diminishing welfare check or a man who was not around, no health care, bad neighborhoods with broke down cars and torn up sidewalks, crime, crime and more crime…
            WHAT in all this are blacks responsible for? Are they responsible when they have bad hygiene or did the oppressors teach them not to bathe? When they CHOOSE to do drugs or rape their sister or steal something, whose fault is that? The white man’s for not giving them bigger welfare checks?
            Cause and effect—-many blacks look at cause then blame some one else and because the blame is never themselves things remain UNFIXED. If you look at the arguments on here against race and progress you will find them disturbingly similar to the same things said in the 1950s and 1960s.
            Who did not change? if there is a problem and the source in any way is partially your fault–BUT if you cannot admit you are wrong—will at least your part of the problem get fixed? Not likely. I did not buy into anything. I observed and this is something I do know–many of the problems faced by blacks are also faced by poor whites.
            I spoke to a man just last year who had health insurance but took his wife to a hospital for a hysterectomy. They scheduled it but would not let her have the surgery until he had provided almost 10,000.00 in cash. that made up his 20% of the bill. If he had been black I would have thought this was discrimination pure and simple but the fact was he had Bc/BS and with the economy so bad and him being a plumber, they wanted to make sure they got their money.
            some damage to a race is self inflicted and it starts unfortunately with a mind set. closed minds like closed hands are great for violence but are not open to giving or receiving any new data.
            We are not a cohesive race or even an honest race–there is no black composition except the one we arbitrarily give and remove–some of the most hateful comments concerning my union with a white man came from high yellow sistahs whose heritage not only definitely included white in the chocolate but whose contributions were not too far from the surface.
            I found it ironic that they chose to lecture me about race when it was obvious had a mixture at some point not taken place they would not exist. Blacks ARE not the author of all of their misery and certainly we do get mistreated–but a lot is self perpetuated and this idea of “racial integrity or purity” is a lie and a joke–the LIE is such because we do not base the “purity” on either logic or science but on sentiment and prejudice and the joke–well as we have seen for the past 100+ years since Jim Crow–the joke is on us and it starts with our inability to move beyond the concept of racial purity when as a race we are not even racially pure.
            “RACIAL PURITY–Hitler wanted that too. And just like many blacks he sought a purity for a race that he did not even fit into–he wanted the “pure Aryan race” and to stomp out Jews–His mother was a Jew which means HE was a jew and he wanted blonde haired , blue eyed race when he was a dark haired, dark eyed Jew. Looks sort of stupid when others do it doesn’t it.
            I guess this “not black enough” extends to Obama unless he is an honorary black since a lot of whites don’t like him. He did not have two black parents either–so guess his daughters are not black enough either. It all gets to be very messy because we don’t face the truth. We are all blended–get over it as for oppression–it is best to dislike people who directly harm you and not try to paint people who you don’t know and who never did anything to you with the same brush. We hate it when people hate us without knowing us or judge us without knowing us–you are doing the same thing when you call whites who have done nothing to you oppressors just by dint of their skin color.
            Now we have the black contingency who wants “black” race to be honest and if you have “black parents” then you can be black enough–except what is black was not even something blacks decided–a person that is 1/16 black (still too much black by law) would still look white to us and most likely could pass but was black by law–were they one of the black parents that are okay?
            We accepted them esp if we knew their mommas were black… where is the line–and what about the fact that the line keeps on moving–do we accept the blacks or mixed who feel black ? or are they out of the club because one of their parents are white? Is Obama black enough and who is this black group deciding black enough status?
            And what about two “blacks” or biracials who each have a white grandparent–are they not black then? and if biracials are not black if they mate with a black are their kids not black (since black is now 2 black parents) can they ever be black? We have a mess because we do not even KNOW or accept who we are–part of this is the ugliness of any diaspora –but part of this is sheer racism on the part of black people–we trend toward a superiority based on a racial integrity which is based on LIES at the most or a moving threshold at the least . Then when things fall apart it is everyone’s fault but our own.

            • Straight Up

              I applaud your accomplishments queenbee, I really do. I know what you are talking about as I am from the same midwestern city you referenced. However, you are conflating two different issues here. We were not discussing ignorant black people who believe educational attainment is “acting white” we were discussing black people’s manic need to love and be loved by their oppressors, coupled with their need to justify the behavior. THIS was the topic of discussion queenbee. No need to discuss the ignorant exists everywhere and is not endemic to blacks. Whether you realize it or not, you are making excuses for why you chose to procreate with your oppressor. Presenting stats about racial and genetic make-up to bolster your argument not withstanding, the fact is that you made a conscious decision to procreate with your historical oppressor. That is your choice. Live in that truth, but don’t try to sell this nonsense in pretty wrapping as if this is in our (black people’s) best interest.

              We started this dialogue discussing those 2 fools Nia Long and Malcolm Little’s promotion of interracial relationships and then their shameless attempt to package IR as if to say that blacks who indulge in it are on some elevated level of thinking. Sorry, but I see through it and I will never buy it.

              The sad thing is that when I do see blacks dating and marrying outside their race (especially whites) usually the black person is marrying down and the white person involved is marrying up. Even though I don’t know you queenbee, I’m willing to bet this was the case with your union when you met. I bet it was a step up for your husband, and not so much for you, but I could be wrong and I’m sure you’ll disagree.

              • queenbee9

                Actually my comments are a direct challenge to the notion of from whence modern black oppression comes. I think some does still come from whites as institutionalized racism but I think a lot of the predicament where we are as a people comes from within. Even the premise here for resentment against all whites for the actions of some or perceived collective guilt of all is spurious.
                Here are two things that on the surface and with a more iindepth look that have been said on this site do not make sense:
                1. “A black is defined as a person with 2 black parents period” That makes NO SENSE. The reason being that most blacks would be negated as blacks by that remark.
                For instance–Obama would not be “black” because his mother was white. Following that, the children of Obama and Michelle could not be black because Obama was not black by this weird new take on blackness. In my own family I would not be black even though I have black features and am the color of dark chocolate. The reason? Because my mothers father was white. Since that meant my grandfather was not black but was biracial and by definition NOT BLACK then anyone joining with the NON BLACK would by definition be not making black kids. This kind of separatism/racism would perpetuate itself. Of course such a thought is based on facts or science or genetics but on a certain view point.
                I have to laugh when I hear the terms “procreating with my oppressor” Had I stayed with my abusive black husband (my first husband) I would indeed have “procreated with my oppressor” I need no excuses for what I do or do not do–I don’t require validation in this way— Of all the men who I have ever had in my life, my husband has never oppressed me in the least. Maybe in your life you like to make generalizations. You perceive whites as a collective and because of this blame all for what a few may do or have done to you–you hold them ALL responsible. Which is ironic since this type of mindset is what also allows white racists to see one black commit a crime and then blame all or see one black on welfare and apply it to all.
                BOTH show signs of racism. I suggest when you grow up a bit more, you take a good long look in the mirror and at your life–where anyone is has a lot to do with the choices they made or failed to make, this includes most blacks. but by all means as you navigate the earth tell yourself that for some reason, all that is happening to you or anyone else is only a result of your skin color and being oppressed. While you are at it and in the blaming mode, if you have or aspire to Christian values[–you can reflect on God having made such horrible people (as whites) and so can also hold Him ultimately responsible for their behavior and for allowing you to experience it.
                My mother told me years ago that there is never any reason to debate with a bigot or a racist. they dwell in their own brand of poison and prefer its drink to all others. She is right. I hope you and others like you find solace where you sit. Time on earth is short and to spend it with such a level of cultivated intolerance is rather sad–but as I said in the very beginning–you do YOU and I will continue to do ME.

                • Straight Up

                  Thank you for the dialogue queenbee. Like the words of wisdom your mom bestowed upon you, daddy told me never to have a conversation about race relations with a black person who has mated outside their race. It would be the textbook definition of futility. I should listen to him, as this has always proven to be true.

          • queenbee9

            LOL. Like I said “Live your own life” because all the other lives belong to other people. YOU don’t give in to YOUR oppressors. (and boy, do you have a LOT of them ;!) And in between all the hatred and blaming and ranting, try to be a good person and if you believe in God aspire to be a Christian. Because at the in of the day–I will NEVER live another person’s version of my own life–and that includes anyone who thinks that just because they are black and I am black, they can dictate my thoughts or actions. NOW… JUST for a minute–IMAGINE what YOUR LIFE would be like if you put all that effort into your own actions and existence instead of wasting it trying to judge others?

            LOL Peace there, straight up—I hope you find it some day–there is never peace in racism. Have a nice day!!

        • michele

          I love the way you explain this and I mostly agree, but the African opinion of me as an African American don’t matter seeing that when they come to the US, some marry outside their race..so what does that then make their children.

  • Guestspot2013

    I find it interesting that people have issue with her wanting the character in the movie to be white (which is a work of fiction), when in real-life Taye, Harold, and Terrance are or have been married to non-black women. The hypocrisy… They are not on here explaining why they are in a movie promoted primarily to a black female audience, while they themselves don’t go home to black women at night. Honestly, I don’t care, but it just kills me that black women feel they have to explain and caress black mens’ egos by stating “I love black men”, so they won’t feel bad. Bunk! Black men never feel the need to explain and neither should black women…

    • rainbow

      True

  • Lee

    Why do some people only think in terms of blacks dating whites, when it comes to interracial dating? I’ve seen blacks with Middle Easterners, East, South and Central Asians, Latinos, Europeans, and any other ethnicity you can think of. Interracial dating is much more diverse than what is depicted in movies and television.

    • ScriptTease

      … but it still boils down to White vs Black vs White.

    • enlightenment

      Because in this case, Nia Long is talking about wanting a White love interest? Let’s not get off topic here…

      • Bren

        But he’s Cuban!! That’s not white.

        • Guest

          There are white Cubans just as there are black Cubans.

  • rainbow

    but the trend is not black women marrying non black men. The trend is black men marrying non black women. Just like the mail cast. They were just trying to take the heat off those three men who a lot of black women consider sell outs

    • Val

      About 87% of Black men who are married are married to Black women. So, I’m not sure there’s really a trend other than a perception that there is.

    • queenbee9

      Actually the trend is black males having sex with non black women–they are not marrying them either and those that do marry like Kobe or Tiger are also inclined to cheat on their nonwhite wife like they would on their black wife, there is really no correlation. Besides, over 87% of black men who marry, or date do so within their own race–we really have to not buy into either the hype or the 36 people you see at the mall.

  • MImi

    Hollywood knows what they are doing…My husband has been saying this for a while now…that Hollywood does not want to portray a strong black woman with a strong black man. And now I’m starting to think that too. Most strong successful female characters you see on TV or movies are usually paired up with a white man. When was the last time you saw strong powerful and successful black couple on TV? I really can’t think of one except for the Huxtables and The Banks (from Fresh Prince). I may be wrong but I just can’t remember the last time I saw a black family living the American dream. I agree that there are interracial couples in the world and its good to portray them on TV and movies but there are way more black couples in the world and we need representation too. Let’s take a look at Scandal, Olivia is stuck on this white married man but she had a great black strong powerful black man in Edison. She breaks up with him to get back with the married white president and then that ends and she end up messing around with another white man. At first when my husband pointed that out I was making excuses that she is in love and the heart wants what it wants but then I thought ….why couldn’t she be interested in a new black guy. After all there are many successful black men in the DC area so why couldn’t she be in a relationship with a successful black men I’m giving this show some more time but if her love interest will always be white then I’m going to know something is really up with only pairing up strong successful black women with white men. There are a lot of strong successful black men in this world and they need to be portrayed in the media so that these young black boys will learn that that they can be successful too. Also it will help these young black girls to grow up and realize that just because they are successful doesn’t mean they only have to date white men because there are a lot of successful black men out there too.

    • queenbee9

      Then there was True blood where the black man was either gay or running after white women and the black woman was either getting repeatedly dumped by a white man for a white woman OR.. the black woman was running after a white woman too–as if blacks can love anyone except each other –WHITES ALWAYS play one of us against the other–either black men are the flavor of the day and the women put down or black women are the flavor and black men are put down–and on tv–blacks want anyone or anything except each other then life begins to imitate art?

      • Straight Up

        But aren’t you married to a white man? So which one are you?

        • ScriptTease

          She can still speak the truth. Just because you Marry outside your race doesn’t mean you choose because they are another race. Anywho, I agree with everything she said.

        • queenbee9

          LOL. I am the one never or rarely depicted on tv or the movie screen. I am the black woman who is happily married outside her race, whose spouse never strayed–who did not go back to a white woman (or run to another black woman) and who basically has lived a very fulfilled and funfilled life. Not exciting by tv or movie standards and not enough controversy for entertainment. I am the story the media and perhaps some racist folks don’t want to know about , hear or validate. That one. Thank you for asking.

        • queenbee9

          I responded to you but don’t know where the post went–I am the one Hollywood rarely bothers to portray–I am that black woman who married outside of her race and her white husband is still with her, still loves her, has never gone back to a white woman or even cheated on her with any other woman. I am the story no racist wants to ever acknowledge does exist–We have 5 children, all successful and productive, 1 is white, 1 is black, 3 are biracial, all did well in school , stayed out of trouble (so far) had high GPAs (over 3.7 or higher) all went to college, all that are old enough have jobs/careers, all are well mannered, all respect themselves as well as others and have high standards for their spouses (except for 1 son ) and all know that they are loved and are a product of a blended family where culture did not take precedence over culture but where cultivating decency and intelligence was what we strove for and prized, that and being someone who respected God and themselves too much to let others dictate their lives. THAT is the one I am and where I am coming from . :)

        • StopDoubleStandards

          As much as folks like yourself like to self-righteously think, you don’t stop being Black just b/c the person you are dating/married was non-Black.

          Get over yourself. Dam@!

          • Straight Up

            You are right @stopdoublestandards…..You don’t stop being black ….but you sure are no good use to the people anymore.

      • MImi

        Oh thanks Queen Bee!!! I totally forgot about how our black men are usually gay or if they are straight they are always messing around and chasing after white women. Great point!!!

  • Really

    I wish black people would stop reaching to love white people. Then wonder why nobody respects us. 2 black men in this movie are In poor relationships with white or non white women. Howard Is always having domestic violence relationships with non black women. Tye diggs is in the strip club cheating with other Beckys. Also Tye stated his self esteem Issues about his dark skin. Now Nia wants a white love interest. When are black people going to love themselves and establish good relationships in our own community. IR relationships have not stopped racism, the killing, imprisonment and discrimination of blacks. Black men who are successful spend more money trying to buy a white trophy wife than they contribute to fighting poverty and discrimination in black communities. Blacks are so preoccupied with white people they forget the real issues that are keeping us behind and belittled. White people could care less who any of these black actors and actresses are. Yet almost every black person in this movie is concerned or involved with white people. For every white person that is okay with blacks there is 30 more who would rather have us black in chains.

    • rainbow

      Preach

    • Straight Up

      That made too much damn sense! Best comment I’ve seen on this site!

      My solution is easy…blacks should stop supporting these sell-out shuck and jiving negroes at the box office. I’m no fan of Taye Diggs or that overrated non-acting Terrance Howard for the very reasons you mentioned. Now Nia is playing into this hollywood garbage. Black people wake up!

      • ScriptTease

        I agree, however, I have a little more respect for Taye. Check out is organization a BroaderWay Foundation. Dedicated to young “Urban” Women.

        • Straight Up

          Sorry, I don’t care how many organizations Taye starts, he gets no love from me. He represents what’s wrong with the black man today. It’s amazing that people still even support any movie his black face is in. Same goes for Terrance Howard.

          Any black man married to a non-black woman gets so support from me. Isn’t it funny how these mostly black male actors ain’t hardly checkin for black women, but that’s mainly where their bread and butter comes from? (i.e., they star in movies marketed towards black women). Sorry, but they are the second worst of the lot in my opinion. They decided to be on the outside, so stay out there negro.

          • ScriptTease

            I feel you. I have nothing against IR dating, but it’s the ones who disrespect their race in the process, those are the self-haters of the world.

            • queenbee9

              Now this I agree with. You can date who you like, but the minute you try to justify it with putting down the opposite sex of your race–that is self hatred–black women and men are the SOURCE of the race if you hate one, you negate the existence and love of the other.

          • queenbee9

            I’m curious–when OJ Simpson was on trial did you support him? I know a lot of blacks did–especially black women and yet–he was on trial for killing his white wife but we all flocked to him to defend him–and a lot did the same for Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods and others who ditched the black “cause” and married white females but then, like robots when they were being hounded for their deeds by the press , a lot of blacks backed them anyway. Did you support or defend OJ or was glad he was acquitted (after all, so many whites who hurt blacks have been acquitted)

            • Straight Up

              To answer your question, I neither supported nor defended OJ…as I mentioned he’s no good to his people, and I don’t discriminate or waiver on my position. I have/had absolutely no respect for that knee-grow so I didn’t care what happened to him. He wanted oh so badly to be white, they showed his black ashy azz what they thought of him. But the sad thing is, he was so deep in his self-hatred that he will never believe it.

              Any black man who betrays his race needs to be either in jail….or….you know where I’m going with that. At least the alternative he chose he can still enjoy what’s left of his life. Thanks for the question.

    • queenbee9

      What are the real issues that are keeping us behind?
      Would it start with enterprises that are self perpetuating but damaging? Would it include behavioral patterns that are negative and detrimental but still cultivated?
      Would it consider a mind set and a pattern of behavior that after decades of doing the same things over and over again still yield very poor results?
      What am I talking about?
      When I was in high school they had programs to put black youths to work called Speedy or spedy and OIC. Remember those? We went around all summer picking up trash and cleaning parks and got paid–it gave me the first money (other than from passing news papers and babysitting) I ever had to buy my own school clothes.
      That summer and for various summers after wards–hundreds of MILLIONS of daughters were poured into urban areas and programs to give kids hope and to hopefully make a difference? HUndreds of Millions. Have you EVER looked up how much money was put into social programs across the US between 1972 and 1983? did you see much change?
      Why Not? Are the neighborhoods better? The children more well off? The social ills addressed?
      Somebody or rather a lot of somebodies got rich on those programs and it was not the kids in those programs. Those who started poverty outreach programs got rich. We had people in our own cities doing “Operation this or that program” Almost to a one, the blacks (because it was mostly blacks with this kind of hustle) who started these programs went on to become city leaders and/or millionaires but the poverty remains. Why is that?
      I went with a guy who ran one such program. He was a college grad as I was. he told me that the great lesson of the New Deal or any economic deal was to know your product and your customer and to ensure repeat business. He said Chrysler and other companies were going to start going bankrupt because they could not longer deliberately make bad cars then make people buy new ones every 2-3 years since the Japanese got in the game. Now they had to make cars that actually worked–and that would make people stop buying so many cars–he was right it was not long before Chrysler went bankrupt.
      When it came to his NFP he said that it was NOT in an NFP’s best interest to stamp out poverty–that is not why he was getting all of that grant money. It was in a Not For Profit’s interest to MANAGE poverty and poor people. He said the scope was too big and the population too broad and ignorant to ever climb beyond poverty so he had programs to grant jobs temporarily, to subsidize some housing, to give out a few scholarships and the rest was refunneled back into his NFP and I suspect into his and his cronie’s pockets. My point?
      That “fight of poverty” that you spoke about–can it change the mindset that has black females fighting over the same man or several having babies by the same man? Can it fight blacks wanting to beat up or despise the kid that “talks proper” or who wants to get a real education? Can it stop the jealousy inherent in blacks when anyone succeeds or makes suspect anyone or “throw shade” when they see anyone trying to do or live better? Will it teach young women to raise their kids instead of just having them or teach black males to actually stay and raise their kids instead of just studding? IF black Hollywood types gave money to black causes would it help the 17 million who cannot seem to grow beyond the ghetto get out? would it change mindsets?
      Bill Cosby and others have been giving to the UNCF for decades–enrollment is pretty static with the matriculation rate not being much different than it was in the 1990s and that not rising that significantly from the 1980s. Overall almost 34% Of blacks have a college degree–how many of those came from money donated by black success stories? THAT is not where change comes from.
      CHANGE comes from a people stepping back and figuring out what does NOT WORK–then stop doing it. Great black leader syndrome or Poverty hustles do not work–they basically are bandaids that do not address the true problems within our culture–the true problems are not about money–they are about how we perceive ourselves and this country and how we interact with and perceive each other.
      SOME among us keep the flames going–teaching us how to beg and make excuses but holding back on teaching us what we need to know. We NEED to know how to have a strong sense of self and HOW to raise our children. Most kids (black, Hispanic and White) are poorly raised or not raised at all–it shows in how they interact with each other, with teachers, with the public with other grownups–it is a direct result of kids raising kids and non raised kids having babies and then not raising them either.
      When you see children cussing out grown ups, running around unbathed, can’t speak English correctly (as if they have a secret 1st language they can speak more fluently) hair uncombed with interests at the tender age of 8-13 that include sex and violence–we have a problem and it comes from within. It is not a result of white supremacy–it is the result of negatives within a closed ecosystem–we can call it ghetto distillation or hooditis or whatever. When you have a system that says “we will take care of you” then gives up a lifestyle which breeds dependence and lying, cheating and “getting over” you have a GLIMMER of what our problems are.
      Are blacks oppressed in this day and age? YES. But a lot of the oppression is mostly done by other blacks and an outdated way of thinking and living whites don’t have to bother with doing it anymore.
      Are blacks under attack by the media an whites? YES and most is an unconscious effort to divide and conquer while some is deliberate and some is a tendency to scapegoat our race for all the ills in America.
      Does scapegoating mean that we are innocent of some of the accusations about our race–unfortunately the only people scapegoated are not the innocent but the COMPLICIT. We cannot tell whites what to do or change most legislation–but we could govern ourselves and before you rise to defend or justify or refute my remarks, consider the next time you go into a store and are trying to get down an aisle and two “sisters” decide to block your way or confront you or start some ish–THAT is the rough material we all have to work with–then you tell me how a black man marrying a black woman in Hollywood would teach black females to not see each other as competition to be harassed, picked on, beat up or down or backstabbed and how –if only that actor had married a black female–things would be different. REALLY? Then just imagine how much would be made right for blacks if we had a black President and a black first lady…. ooops.
      “We have met the enemy and he is…….US” THINK on THAT. If WE cannot admit when we are wrong and that we are the problem WE cannot change what we cannot fix–we cannot fix what we refuse to acknowledge is broken.

    • StopDoubleStandard

      I am so sick about hearing about the “community” and how we just have to do this or that for it. I am living MY life…”the community” has not done jack squat for me in my 31 years…and I owe IT or THEM nothing! I will love who I want…call me names, talk about my “self-hate” or how I must hate my daddy/brother/cousin/uncle etc…I just don’t care anymore. I am going to be with a man who makes me happy, treats me well, loves me, and can make me laugh….don’t matter what ethnicity he hails from.

      I will do ME…let those in “the community” talk and stare and hate. F-‘em.

    • Denise

      Yasss! 40 years ago we pushed hard for integration, now here we are 40 years past integration and look at the state of our families (broken), the crime, poverty, drugs, lack of business ownership because we took ALL of our dollars and spent them in the White community (Whites did not reciprocate), our morals and values changed as we started to seek the White man’s materialism instead of God. Interracial dating and marriage is not a bad thing in small numbers, but in large numbers we are going to end up with a ton of unintended consequences just like with integration, but our people are so easily duped and led astray!

  • Chanda

    Can’t wait to see this movie. People on here are more worried about this white love interest than the movie itself and he’s not even a main character, jeez. Y’all so up in arms about how black women will view IR after they see the movie as if it’ll make that big of a difference. They’re just acting, c’mon now.

    • Gina

      I’m not so sure about that, movies have a way to influence men and women. Look at Scandal, sleepy Hollow and etc..

  • VampyRed

    I totally agree with her. When is the shock and awe going to wear off as it relates to interracial dating? I’ve been over it many many years ago.

    • ScriptTease

      I can careless, love who you love, but I know I cannot be the only Black Person who finds out someone you know is getting married, and you have to ask that question. Is he/she Black? I want to see more Black Love, in and outside of film.

      • VampyRed

        Why do you have (emphasis on have) to ask that question? That’s the beauty of free will and designing your individual life the way you deem fit. No right or wrong in my opinion *shrugs*

        • ScriptTease

          …and you ask that question. Is that better?

          • VampyRed

            Sorry, I don’t understand your response. I was asking why do you have to ask someone if the person that they are marrying is Black? Anyway, this is whole topic is a non-issue to me; it’s boring now.

            • ScriptTease

              Okay… and I feel myself asking if the person is Black, how strange is that. Is that better. And perhaps you don’t see the amount of IR couples out numbering Black on Black couples as I do, or perhaps you’re of the privileged race and don’t ever notice anything until it ain’t about YOU, (yes I know, sort of off topic) and don’t understand…. Also you being over it years ago implies at some point you too had an issue with IR dating if we want to analyze words and statements. Anywho, I agree it is boring now, and I give up.

      • LOL

        Love is love…who cares if they have an equal amount of melanin production in their skin! Ugh

        SMH

        • ScriptTease

          OKay?!?! Not sure about what I said that has your drawls in a bunch, but the fact still remains the same. Ugh, on that!

  • cbtaylo

    I hear Nia’s argument but I think a movie like this is a prime opportunity to celebrate black love and promote it on film.

    • Soulsis

      I didn’t even listen to Nia’s argument. I love Black Men!!!!!

      • cbtaylo

        Amen!

      • Uncontainable Spirit

        Exactly. No need to hear what she has to say on this topic.

      • Girl BYE

        So does she…she is just not clueless enough to love them EXCLUSIVELY.

      • LOL

        3 out of the 4 Black actors in this movie cant say the same for you Sista….seeing as how they love them they white wives! LOL

    • enlightenment

      That’s what I’m saying!

    • LOL

      Too bad most of the Black men in the film have chosen to not “celebrate or promote Black Love” in their actual lives….

      • cbtaylo

        I agree, I feel that these brothas T Howard and H Perrineau both could be sporting some sisters but…u know…sometimes that vanilla spits hard game at brothas lol

    • Concerned Reader

      Only because the black men look undesirable in this case. If it was the other way around you wouldn’t say that. There, I exposed you, because I am tired of this selfish, poorly hidden cr*p.

      • cbtaylo

        Sorry that logic does not apply to my comment at all, find another rebuttal

        • Concerned Reader

          That is a highly probable conclusion from your comment, actually, and you know it. Your other comments give you away. You just feel badly about it, poor boy.

          • cbtaylo

            Haha nice try

  • JT Boswell

    Honestly I just go to movies because I need to be entertained. I do not care about Nia’s reason for picking a white guy. I watch movies of the plot.

  • Janae

    What is so funny is that 3 of the 4 black men married are married to white women and all four of the women are single. Yet the women seem almost apologetic. Black men date who they want and they don’t care or explain. The black men in the movie are actually MARRIED to white women. The black woman is in a fake relationship with a white man and people are up in arms. smh. Double standard much?

    • yah

      MUCH! It’s so sickening and pathetic hearing black women apologize for doing what black men have never felt any shame in doing. Many don’t apologize or feel any “loyalty” to black women or “the black race”, so what’s with the whining. Just enjoy the movie.

    • Guestspot2013

      Yes, Janae! That’s exactly what I said in my earlier comment. Black men never feel the need to apologize. In fact, I didn’t hear anyone getting upset when Terrance Howard did an interview (regarding the lack of black women in Red Tails) was saying that black men with white women is a sign of “progress” and that black women were “outdated”. Yeah, no outrage from the brothas and those who love them on that one. Black women need to stop worrying about what black men are doing or what they think and focus on opening up their options when choosing mates…

      • Janae

        What is even funnier is that there is absolutely nothing to lose by saying it. These black men are not even thinking about you. White women have protection from being linked to white men. There are no real benefits on our side that we will lose out on by moving on. White women have protection among a few things to lose. I can just imagine how all of the married to white women black men on this film are laughing with each other behind closed doors. Don’t think that people aren’t talking about how we have this fantasy film with all of these beautiful black people but all of the men are married to white women. The irony. It is just a fantasy for ( SOME) black women. Black women love black men waaaay more (SOME) than black men love them. Waaay more. Black men are closer to indifferent.

        • StopWithDoubleStandard

          That last sentence is nothing but the truth!! Glad somebody said it!! Black “sista soldiers” stay being the “protector of the Black male”…while he walks right past her butt to get to the Spanish or White girl behind her…

          SMH…then wonder why they 47 years old with no man and no marriage…while the Black man they were so busy defending so hard grinning and happy with Becky and their 3 kids….

          “I don’t want NOTHING but a BLACK man!!” says the Sista Soldier…how many times have you heard a Black man say the same, sista??

      • Indy Syder

        Just like Nia Long is an idiot, so was Terrence Howard for his comments about the “progress.” Both sides are clowns.

    • Concerned Reader

      There is an article on DM about an app that says that most women prefer white men. This app also notes that ONLY black women prefer black men (no other races), and no one said that they preferred white women or black women. Yes I said no one preferred white women.

      Obviously this is influenced by the media, but since it is that white women are promoted as so desirable, why doesn’t the app reflect that? Could it be that people are seeing their insecurity and thus desperation for plastic surgery, their incessant using of men and their gold digging ways and destructive ways (Liho)?

      Black women are too WEAK. I say it because they need to hear it and stop. STOP apologising. Stop caring about black men. STOP kissing up to white people, they will NEVER like you. Be yourself, form your own group and be powerful.

  • Gabie Aldrich

    Were all missing the point of this! By that I mean it took 14 yrs to make a sequel! Let’s all just celebrate that we get to see these GREAT characters again! Because movies are for entertainment! I can’t wait to see it!

  • Courtney Banks

    They know the main target audience for this movie are black women.. That’s why none of the male leads have white wives in the movie.. They know that if it were to happen black women would boycott. I even saw comments on this site from black women wanting to boycott the movie because they have real life white wives.

  • 9Boots

    70% of BW are unmarried. The facts don’t lie. BM are not marrying BW. BW need to move on to other men if they want to be married. Other cultures of men are less cowardly when it comes to marriage. Truth.

    • Val

      Stop! It’s 42% of Black women that have never been married. Please stop spreading false info. Look it up.

      • 9Boots

        Site your source Val.

        • stewwie

          Pls, go back to clutch magazine anti black men hate fest club… no one can respond to you there.

          • yah

            TROLL ALERT – ignore stupid stewwie.

          • 9Boots

            You are a eunuch on a site that caters to black women and I fit that demographic. You on the other hand need to slither back to the cave you came out of.

        • Val

          Like I said above, you’ll have to google it since I can’t leave a link here. The numbers are not at all hard to find.

          • 9Boots

            Val, I think you are intelligent enough to be creative and type the link in words. You can do it. Site your source.

            • Val

              Lol And you are intelligent enough to go to google and type in “percentage of unmarried Black women”. Very simple. I’ve tried to leave links here before and MN does not allow them.

              • 9Boots

                Nonsense, I have sited sources here.
                Rule number one, be able to site your source.
                I can rip your stat to shreds with cited facts but I’m not going to waste my time because you refuse to cite your source therefore you ain’t worthy.

        • FromUR2UB

          Where is your source?

          • 9Boots

            Val is the one going against the often reported 70% of BW unmarried fact. Since she is refuting the fact she can cite her source and I will kindly cite ten sources proving her wrong.

            • Friday Foster-ABWW

              The 70% is for women in their 20s. It drops to 13% in women over 55.
              The sad part is that there has been a 26% drop in black women marrying in their 20s & a 10% decrease in women who have never married in the 30 years. Black people marrying less and black men are out marrying at a much higher rate than black women.

              • 9Boots

                That is some interesting angels. Do you have a source so I can further research it?

  • Lola

    OMG… A movie with a black woman with a white man as a love interest… WOW That is sooooo original… OH PLEASE !!!! ….Why are some people getting their panties in a bunch over a storyline that has been shown in movies,tv shows and broadway plays ??? Last time I check my it’s not 1813… Now “forward thinking” would be a black woman with a white woman love interest.

    • queenbee9

      Already done on True blood. On that show neither the black man or black woman are straight and when they are they still love any color except their own…

  • blogdiz

    “Unsurprisingly, Taye Diggs
    co-signed Nia’s sentiments ” ROFL that dude right there

  • Guest

    Why did Taye Diggs say they were “forward thinking” in response to Nia’s “request”? Is that to say that the idea of having a black love interest would be “backward thinking”? I also did not like that he said he got along with Sanaa and Nia because they were “smart” after they said their bits about IR relationships.

    Finally, why do these people act like the only non-black option is a white person? It says so much about where their heads are. Are there not other races if they wanted to go this route? Why not a Latino, Asian, Arab, or Indian man? Why not a European born black like Idris Elba or Boris Kodjoe? Why not an African black? After all the white men Kerry Washington has been paired with on and off screen, even she married a Nigerian-American brotha. Why does it always have to be IR? Why can’t it be intercultural? That would be more “forward thinking” than pairing a black woman with a white man. White men have been having sex with black women since the beginning of time. The only difference is that black folks weren’t standing around applauding it as if it were some great coup!

    • blogdiz

      In the dictionary under self loathing Taye Diggs face should pop up, Nia and Sanaa are smart I suppose unlike all other BW marrying white is “forward ” I suppose marrying within your race (black ) is back ward WHY WHY WHY???do they keep putting this dude in movies I want to see because of the OTHER actors

      • Friday Foster-ABWW

        Terrence Howard has said some very vile things about black women too. I cannot abide him.

  • blogdiz

    Dear God Why are so many black Americans obsessed with white people !its like a societal case of Stockholm syndrome
    And by the way Do you realize that of all 4 black men in this movie are married and only one of them to a BW? multiply that % throughout Hollywood corporate America the burbs and the hood and tell me where the problem lies stop pretending its the BW stepping outside cus the numbers and everyday experience doesn’t support that

    P.S case in point don’t think ANY of those beautiful Black women are married .NIA has a man for ages not sure why no ring BUT Dont tell me that Nia , Sanaa or Monica fit the oft trotted out Stereotypes i.e ghetto-loud unemployed gold digging baby mama etc …
    Instead of 40 Aces and a mule should have insisted on some therapy …..SMH

    • yah

      Well said, blogdiz! People are acting like black women set this thing off- black men promoted “white is right” like it was going out of style and have been running behind everything white forever, and now a FEW black women say “hey we got options too” and everybody wants to fight the race war. PLEASE.

      • Uncontainable Spirit

        Puuh-leaze… GTFOH! Black men have NOT been running behind white women forever. Miss me with that.

    • stewwie

      “Instead of 40 Aces and a mule should have insisted on some therapy” …lmao

      Nice one…and true !!

  • temple

    Good points made by Nia. BTW, there’s a continent called Africa & it’s full of black people. All this ‘black people will disappear’ propaganda is silly.

    • stewwie

      They are doing the something over there too, moron. mainly with Asians.

      • “Furious” George Rockwell

        Yup, and unfortunately for guys like me, it’s not Asian women giving it up to Black men. So much for the “Chinese are our fellow PoC” philosophy, right?

  • stewwie

    First of all, stop prefacing “I love black men” before making this kind statement, it sounds like “I am not racist but….). Also, she does sound like she has an ax to grind against American black men. Here is a statement you will never hear a white actor or actress saying ” I asked to be paired up with a black person”….

    Second, the real reason they have this white love interest is this black movies is for two main reasons, first to appeal to black women and second to appeal to white audience. Malcolm D is a sellout opportunist just like the rest of them (He is no Spike Lee), he knows where his butter and bread comes from (i.e black women). He did this because he thinks this will sell among black women, that is why you don’t really see a white female love interest paired up with a black guy on this movies, because black women will most definitely boycott that, Just like what they did to the movie “RED TAILS”. You get a black man with a white women when the movie/entertainment is directed toward black men.

    Beyond that, there is a concentrated effort to get as many black people as possible to marry out and have mulatto children. Maybe this is “the final solution” they have for us. Just like Brazil and many other south American countries. What is sad is we are the only group of people who sees marrying out as a badge of honor. You can’t real blame them when we are feeding in to it.
    How bout we stop caring what the dominant culture don’t like and building a body of work we can sell around the world.

    • yah

      all i’m asking is… were you this mad when the media was showing black men with everything but black? i seriously doubt it. if you can’t be mad when black men do IR, then you shouldn’t be mad now because a black woman is doing it.

      • stewwie

        First, Stop talking about me as if you know me…and yes I don’t like most of IR movies for many different reasons. You would know that if you were a regular here. I Love seeing beautiful black families and not this propaganda.

        • yah

          ohh stewwie, stop stewing. sound like you’re the envious one since you make it such a point to hate on black women doing the same thing black men do.

          • stewwie

            Still fantasizing…lol

        • hollyw

          I will say this, you had a point, but yah got a point, too. You weren’t saying anything remotely close to this on the article on spousal/dating upgrades…you were pretty antagonistic, and calling any woman who pointed out the color pattern in the ‘upgrade’ a hater…ijs.

          • stewwie

            But those women were black, just light skin….I hate the dark-light distinction between black people and the mentality which says unless you are dark skin you are not black.

            Probably because I am self am light skin…lol

            • hollyw

              Nah nah,most of those girls were white and Latino! And you agreed that the lighter/whiter women were attractive! Negro, I ain’t forgot!!

    • yah

      also, the problem with your logic is that brazil is STILL majority black, mulatto and non-mixed, but even with that, the non-mixed blacks still account for a sizeable portion of the brazilian population. not enough people (especially black women) will marry out to make a”final solution”, as you say. and again, if you weren’t worried about “final solutions” when black men were running behind every becky in town, then don’t start trying to guilt trip black women. if you were really for black people as a whole, you would’ve been just as up in arms over black men IR options.

      • yah

        that should say “Brazil is STILL majority black, WHETHER mulatto or non-mixed”.

        • Guest

          Yes, but if you do some research on Brazil, you would know that when they added the “brown” category a decade or so ago, that majority black population disappeared as they wanted to self-identify as brown because they thought it would improve their status in Brazil, which sadly is a country that operates in a white supremacist structure. This is what happens when people accept the myth that white is superior.

      • stewwie

        Ahhh… you are to simplistic to understand white supremacy and how white supremacy is maintained. Let me give you a clue, it is about POWER.

        Mulatto don’t have any loyalty to their black side, that is why you don’t have any prominent black person in Brazil. And the majority of black live in poverty and destitute. Lack of soldiraty makes it impossible to form a group identity and fight the white power structure.

        • Soulsis

          Stewwie just know that you are not alone in this knowledge. The strategy is to create a multiethnic people because they are less likely to be tribal or communal about race. They are less likely to rise up and revolt. Social engineering is real. Numbers do not dictate power. The people that run Brazil make up the 1 percent (white/German think Giselle Bundchen) even though the majority is a multiracial group. These mutiracial people live in extreme poverty and have for decades.

          • Indy Syder

            You have a ton of sense. You speak as a respected sister :-)

        • Indy Syder

          You should just ignore most of these derelicts on here, they’re not worth your time.

      • Friday Foster-ABWW

        Brazil is 30% black, that is hardly a majority.

  • Marina Calis

    This is not about white men but about finding a suitable mate outside of your race. The chances of black woman marrying a decent black man is slim to none.I have to agree with Oprah…the number’s are just not there for us! The majority of black men are in prison,on drugs,down-low,dating white women,uneducated,emotionally unavailable,have criminal records and the list goes on.These issues are not acceptable for a black woman who wants to have good husband,good marriage and a successful family.It is unfortunate but if black woman don’t start dating outside our race whether it be white,asian,arab or whatever our race will eventually die.The black man’s priorities have changed over the years and they have become brainwashed by the media & internet.Their only concern is looks and sex! They have lost their minds over looks and sex and forgotten about the bottom line which is their financial and mental health.They no longer have morals and values and some even want to have more than one wife…Why? because the media & internet has portrayed this black men as sex addicts.Come on black men get it together…life is so much more than this….

    • Val

      If you really believe all of that then your mind has been completely colonized. Please take your (BWE) worship of White men and hatred of Black men elsewhere.

      • 9Boots

        70% of BW are un married. The facts don’t lie. BM are not marrying BW.

        • Val

          Lol. You are mixing up your stats. It’s 70% of Black children are born out of wedlock. (even though that stat isn’t really true) and 42% of Black women who have never been married.

          Which by the way means that 58% of Black women are or have been married.

          • 9Boots

            Source.

            • Val

              This site won’t allow links so, just google “percentage of unmarried Black women” and you’ll get a ton of results.

              • 9Boots

                Type your source in words. You can do it, back it up.

          • 9Boots

            Source please.

        • queenbee9

          To be honest–the majority of black men are not marrying anyone. If you look at the majority of biracial children, most have white mothers ad those mothers often have children by numerous black men–NONE of whom marry them and give the children stable homes and many who do not have anything to do with their children or the women who gave birth to those children regardless of the race of the mom.

    • stewwie

      ” black man’s priorities have changed over the years and they have become brainwashed by the media & internet.”

      lol… I guess you can’t see the irony in what you write about black men and your own brainwashed believe.

      Be Careful what you wish for because you might just get it……black men already dates other women in large numbers.

      • yah

        I’m sure Chirlane McCray-deBlasio is oh so worried. Don’t think a lot of black women haven’t followed suit, stewwie.

        • stewwie

          lol….how is this like living in fantasy land ? If you ever decide to come down to planet realty….Go see the actual numbers.

          FYI; 3 of the 4 black men actors in this movie are married to white women and all four of the women are single.

          • yah

            Val, please see stewwie’s comment above, exhibit 1. He’s a prime example of what I’m saying, with the added exception of being an arrogant jerk. Like I said, black men don’t complain when they’re portrayed in IR and they don’t care about how it affects the race, black women, etc. They see IR as a badge of honor to rub in black women’s faces. So why should you care?

            You’re fighting a one-sided racial war, sista. black men aren’t with you in this one, so why go to bat for them? No Black women aren’t all running after white men, but if some are, they are no different than black men. Nia Long is just stating her preference like black men continue to do.

            • stewwie

              Who hurt you so bad or is it you never had anyone seriously interested in you ?

              Get a life and stop ranting like a crazy woman all over the internet.

              pls, leave me alone !

            • Val

              Yeah, I’ve already had a conversation in the past with Stewwie about his comments regarding Black women and how those comments are problematic.

              With that said, Stewwie is just one person. And we shouldn’t do to ourselves what the world does to us, which is to think that the actions of one Black person somehow equals the actions of all Black people or in this case all Black men.

              Sure there are Black men that promote and chase women of other groups but there are also Black women who do the same while both, those men and those women, go around trashing the opposite gender of their own group. But, those people are outliers. They do not represent the majority.

              So, don’t let Stewwie bother you.

              • yah

                he doesnt, believe me. trolls will be trolls.

              • stewwie

                Wait what, what did i said to bother her, she is the one who is spewing hate, you can clearly see that.You even called her out yourself above.

                Stop being so one side just to stroke here ego….

                • Val

                  It was the “FYI” at the end of your comment. It seemed like you were just throwing that in our faces for no good reason.

            • Uncontainable Spirit

              Are you kidding? What world do you live in? Your fallacy is the Apex fallacy. The VAST majority of black men date and marry black women. The VAST majority of black men love black women. Stop that nonsense.

            • RickyboyH

              I’m black man, I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’d certainly like to see more black/black relationships in the media.

          • jmjg

            And this is something you are proud of?

      • Marina Calis

        If a black man chooses a woman from another race over myself…then more power to him.I wouldn’t want to invest time and resources into someone who couldn’t handle dating a woman from his own race.That would be a bad investment and a loss instead of a gain.

    • Alexis

      I think the number of black women who can pick good black men are too low, not the number of decent ones out there. The answer is finding a good mate, regardless of race, which even means your own which is not as hard as Oprah or black feminists make it seem. It may seem that too many black men are into stupid stuff and have other interests besides you, but that’s no excuse to leave em when the good ones can say the same about black women who stay blinded by thugs, white and other race men and how they deserve so much but don’t go to the means to get it. Not all of course. And btw, the whole logic behind your race ceasing to exist if you don’t go IR makes no sense because if you fall for someone , you could very well have their baby and by that you just reduced your genes by 50%.

      • queenbee9

        it does not matter what genes are “reduced by” it matters what is perpetuated–for instance when white mommas have biracial girls by and large those girls also choose black males making their offspring seek out black males and therefore going from 50% to 75% and back to whatever % we like to pretend is 1005 black. blacks are not dying out and blacks in America are not a race more so than an array of multiracial darker colors. show me any black not recently from Africa who is a “pure black” and I can almost guarantee a genetic test will show European and possibly Native American infiltration. FACT

        • Maggie

          but you forget about those cultural ‘black’ factors that get lost and diluted as well. So ‘black’ skin color should not be minimized as just so. And the whole 100% pure black is hogwash. If one has 2 black parents, that means you are black. Stop with all this confusion. Sounds you are dying to claim the 15% of you that may not be black. Other races don’t obsess over the minority of mix in their gene line. So why do you and what does it do for your identity?

          • queenbee9

            Watch it now–don’t get into what % of me is what since you don’t know me and I will afford you the same courtesy. The POINT to my comments about race and racial make up is to point out the lunacy in striving for “racial purity ” when we are not a pure race and in fact are technically not a race–we are a derivative or a race but we have been mixed with way too many things. My grandmother was from Madagascar. Her mother was French, Polynesian and African. When she came to the states she married a man who was multiracial his father was white, and his mother half black and half Cherokee.
            THAT is just my mom’s side. I look like an ordinary black person the only unusual quality is my hair is very long, but it is still frizzy. My point? I am typical and so when I married a black man (first husband) he did not get a “pure black woman” since most laws of miscegenation or white purity laws made anyone with 1/32-12% or more of black blood be black then we have mixtures all over the place. What is now called “biracial” would have been most definitely black just 20 years ago.
            All of you are splitting hairs. What we seem to be trying to emphasize is racial honesty but then we try to negate or ignore the real truth. We are not a racially honest people. 50% black? is biracial? But a lot of blacks if they were DNA checked might be very surprised by the level of black that they are NOT no matter what they look like on the outside.
            The point is this: stop hating and dividing due to color–not only is it ugly it is intellectually and racially dishonest unless for you–the “proof” is not in the skin color but the designation–and THAT designation was done and decided by whites too. For instance, based on what many people say about Beyoncé –she has 2 “black ” parents but based on their Creole heritage she may be more other than black–but since we like her talent and she’s
            in the club”–we ain’t tryin to hear that now are we?
            Tally and keep score for your own racial make up –if you dare.

            • Maggie

              I understand with your mixed background that it is hard for people like you to ‘keep tally’. But that is in the minority, not the majority. You can deny race all you want. You don’t have to call yourself anything, don’t check any boxes. At the same time, if someone wants to claim, they have a right to as well. Your distaste for people to be part of groups is rejecting the reality that human beings will always categorize or organize. One will see that from the lunchroom to the global landscape, race is included.

        • Alexis

          It does, if a person is half black and half another race, just because they have black in them doesn’t mean they will choose to date and procreate with a full black man. That may happen more with biracial girls with black guys, but with the guys it seems to be the opposite. But even with both cases that doesn’t prove which side they’ll choose or if they’ll even pick a race they’re mixed with at all. Blacks have been at almost the same percent for years. I don’t think they ever reached 25 %. Most blacks do have European ancestry, but not much in their immediate bloodline. And mixed people don’t count. I mean the average black person. If there’s no mixture in 4 generations on either side you’re not mixed.

          • Friday Foster-ABWW

            So you are now making the rules on who is black and who is mixed?? And you have the nerve to tell black folks about tallying people up?

            • Alexis

              Uh, it’s called common sense and genetics. Look up pundit squares. I never told anyone who they should be with if that’s what you mean by “tallying up.” I was calling it how I saw it responding to what the above person said. Read it. And btw, if you have to go back like 6 or 7 generations to find mixture, that race or races won’t show up in your blood to make a difference in appearance, genetic predisposition or culture for example. Mixed people, no matter what they claim are mixed so I didn’t give anyone any labels…their family and genetics are the proof opposed to someone of one race.

    • jmjg

      You won’t have a Black race when you keep having children by nonblack men either. I don’t understand.

      • queenbee9

        We never did have a black race–almost all blacks born and raised in America are of mixed heritage–if not within the core family then when you marry a chocolate sistah like me who has Irish, French, Cherokee, English and Polynesian, Indian and Dutch blood in her genetics–the “mixture is still there” if you want racial purity and non dying out consider Africa–the minute blacks were bred for stock or for white people’s pleasure/agenda was the end of tribal and racial purity in this country.

        In the meantime, racial and tribal purity still exists in the Motherland with billions still being only as their ancestors are.

    • Uncontainable Spirit

      You’ve been hoodwinked. It’s ok though. Go date and marry a white man, we won’t mind.

  • coolyfett

    Agendas..Agendas…Agendas..

  • guest

    Lot of issues with this white supremacy, white privilege, dependency etc but gradualism might be the biggest threat. Nia says this today and tomorrow 100’s of Black women follow her lead. Black culture becomes unrecognizable.

    • Val

      Exactly, it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. If Hollywood puts it out there enough and people think that it’s going on everywhere, then they begin to act out what Hollywood has been showing them.

      • ScriptTease

        I am a shy and awkward person, and my plans for the New Year somewhat scares me, but listening/reading some of you guys comment just give me all the motivation I need to go through with my plans. Change is coming…. soon.

        • Val

          It’s always good to work outside of our comfort zone. Doing so is often a little scary but the plus side is that often when we do, we grow and we prosper. Good luck!

      • Blackhawk

        yep.. the same way they push the gay lifestyle. it will work too because the truth is most of us are weak-minded and easily brainwashed.

    • queenbee9

      The thing about wanting to preserve the “black race” or “black culture” is what that really means… the bullying in the neighborhoods? The insistence on speaking ebonics? The hatred of anyone pursuing education seriously? The jealousy if people do not seem black proud? The mistrust or hatred of “red bone” high yellow or skillet negrahs? The grading of hair textures? The eternal lamenting of seeing IR couples? the fact is, we have a culture that is not sustainable nor is it progressive and THAT is the fault of nongrowth and negative emphasis. The fact also is that many a young black lady walks by males who ignore her no matter how pretty or well behaved she is.

      Black males have decided they have the right to pursue any one of any race that they so choose–it is only fair that any black female who feels the same should also be able to exercise similar options without censure. We really need to stop holding blacks who often we do not know to standards we have set for how they live their own lives. If a black male wants a white woman or Asian woman or whatever–so be it and if a black female wants the same–that is none of your or my business–we need to stop with this race identification stuff, about the only time we try to trot this out is when we want to exert our version of how the world according to race should work on another person–any other time, many of us could care less about other blacks, or what they do or how they live. Let it go. Mind your own business and if you need to save a black man or female, save one for yourself–you cannot change the world–you can only modify your small part of it–but YOUR PART is not MY PART. Respect those boundaries.

      • Blackhawk

        it clear that you have a poor view of black people and black culture.. so i would doubt that u would understand even one iota of what these ladies are coming from.

        • Aria Whitaker

          Why? Because she disagrees? Because she pointed out some aspects of “black culture” that are negative and you would rather not discuss?

          I understand perfectly “where those ladies are coming from”…but I see no sign in queenbee’s post that she has a “poor view” of anything…she disagrees with the “purity” aspect they were discussing that is quite frankly, nonsense. We are not “pure”. Our culture, while distinct, is still merely a subset of the wholly American culture. Most of us would feel much more familiar around a American of any race rather than say, a black Russian guy. Culture can be preserved independent of race.

          She seems to be asking a very good question(s). It would be interesting to see you dispute, or better yet, answer her questions rather than dismiss her post in a condescending way simply because you may disagree.

          • Blackhawk

            i honestly have and could easily do it again.. but since i’m about to retire for the nite.. it will hae to wait for tomorrow

  • guest

    She was instructed to say that. Nothing in her personal life backs up the statement. Another case of white guys trying to convince black women they are attracted to them.

    • Neco84

      You dont have to be in an interracial relationship to support it. If her heart falls for a black man then it does. If her heart falls for a white/Asian/ Hispanic/etc it does. Im in a relationship with a black man and im 100% for interracial dating, when its for the right reasons.

    • Guest

      Exactly. There is a current campaign to propagate the myth that black women are falling over themselves for white men. Sadly, inferiorized blacks are now perpetuating it. You can see it all over youtube with these black women who feel the need to post lengthy, random, self-deprecating videos about why the only date white guys. Ask yourself what other group of people behaves in this manner. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

      • enlightenment

        Exactly.

      • Uncontainable Spirit

        Exactly. I am surprised that this even needs to be explained.

      • ScriptTease

        …. I can listen to you all day.

    • queenbee9

      Surely YOU don’t speak for all black women do you? You certainly do not speak for me.
      Some black women ARE attracted to some white men–when it comes to attraction or who each of us seek out for partners–it really is individual–YOU can only speak for yourself–there is no great black leader and we are not a monolithic culture. I have been attracted to black and white men and I have dated only black men until after the failure of my first marriage. That marriage ended my dating black men. I have been married for over 20 years to a wonderful man and he is my first and only white guy–did I seek out a white guy?NO–but I am very glad that this one found me–because not a day goes by when he does not make me feel like a princess and lets me know DAILY how much I mean to him and how much he loves and adores me. Could a black guy have done the same? Why yes he could have –but he did not and so… here we are.

  • enlightenment

    I understand that Nia Long wants to, I guess, “open people’s eyes” to the reality of interracial dating…but I adding a white male co-star doesn’t singlehandedly “fix” biases against interracial relationships.

    I just think she’s just saying this as an excuse just to have a white love interest, in my opinion. The interracial thing in black movies is overplayed — they already did it in “This Christmas”, “Dysfunctional Friends,” “Death of a Funeral,” “Guess Who”…and Im sure there are others. So its not like it’s an issue that hasn’t touched upon before, so I don’t get it.

    • Neco84

      I dont think anyone suggested a casting choice would “change world views”. But now when we walk outside, especially in a metropolitan city, its now rare to NOT see interracial couples. So it only makes sense to reflect what we see outside our windows….

      • Val

        But are we really seeing that? I think it’s just heightened awareness that makes us think we’re seeing so many IR couples. That’s because the numbers just don’t support all of the hype and media representations.

        As of now 96% of Black women who marry are married to Black men and 87% of Black men who are married are married to a Black woman. So, why do we see so much of it in the media? And why do we see so few married Black couples represented?

        The media in this country has a very long history of trying to put a wedge between Black men and women. And, then they sit back and report on out of wedlock births and the supposed low numbers of Black women getting married.

        Don’t believe the hype.

        • Guest

          Well said Val! It is part of an ongoing media campaign. Everywhere you turn in media, especially film and television, you see black women paired with white men. Yet, that is still the least common IR pairing. The most common remains white men and Asian women. One must think critically about why the media have chosen to highlight the opposite end of the spectrum, and to the exclusion of
          black on black couples.

          I saw Malcolm Lee, the director of the film, say that it made sense for Nia’s character to have a white love interest because she had climbed the corporate ladder and needed a man he would complement her and not be intimidated by her. That is the same line society has been feeding black women for years, and it is completely ridiculous. There are many, MANY black women
          who have climbed the corporate ladder and have successful relationships with black men.

          This idea that the only suitable mate for a successful black woman is a white man is complete rubbish. Also, the idea that the white man is the answer to the black woman’s dating problems is equally foolish. Just ask the millions of successful white women who are divorced or never married.

          • enlightenment

            You hit the nail on the head.

          • yah

            “It is part of an ongoing media campaign. Everywhere you turn in media,
            especially film and television, you see black women paired with white
            men.”

            That’s such a funny statement. For the past 5 or 6 years, every movie/TV show/commercial that showed interracial only showed Black MEN with non-black women. Now y’all are complaining because black women can do it too? Don’t be silly. Black men have and always will pick any woman they want to be with, regardless of race. Black women should do the same.

            • Val

              This isn’t a contest. With either, Black actors or actresses, the same applies in terms of why it happens.

            • Guest

              The result is the same regardless who the parties are. It is not about a contest. Your statement demonstrates just how effective the campaign has been. I keep seeing black women whose self esteem has been lowered talking about how good it is that black women can be seen with other races or that other races want us. That is the language of inferiorization. I found Flight the message communicated by Flight as ridiculous as that of Scandal. Also, I do not know what media you watch, but I would strongly challenge the notion that the bulk of IR relationships shown were black men and white women. That is incorrect.

              • Janae

                inferiorization
                I don’t think that this is a word

                • Guest

                  Actually, the term inferiorization is known in the academic/scholarly community. It will take time for the rest of society to become acquainted with it, if it ever is, but people who focus on this area of scholarship know it. For an introduction, read the book “Inferiority by Design” by Joseph Gibson.

                  • ScriptTease

                    PREACH!!!!!

          • rainbow

            Well said.

          • Friday Foster-ABWW

            If you note that 3 of the black male leads are married to non-black women in real life and none of the women are married, perhaps we need to widen our horizons.

        • Neco84

          I disagree. I think it is out there but we may not notice it for what it is. But you are correct. Black women/white men arent as prominent as the other way around. But then again, gay/lesbian are a small part of the population and they have films. People just want to see their likeness no matter how small the percentages may be.

          • Val

            True, but when there is an over-representation you have to wonder why.

        • yah

          I agree with you about the media wedge between black women and men, but the funny thing is that when a movie pairs a black man with a non-black woman, I don’t see black men complaining about it. They see it as “options”, and don’t care about how black women feel about seeing them with white women. Black men don’t care about going for interracial options, so why should Black women? I say just enjoy your options while they last – it’s great to show that Black women can get any man, of any ethnicity, they want too, just like every other women in the U.S.

          • Val

            I get your point but there are Black men that notice and speak about it when it’s Black actors paired with non-Black actresses. That’s been going on for Denzel and Will Smith for a while now.

            And this isn’t about real life dating options. This is about media propaganda. I have no issues with real life IR dating. I’m just questioning why it’s so over-represented in the media with Black actors and actresses.

            • yah

              well, denzel happily helped to promote the very thing you’re against in Flight, with not one 1, but 2 white women in that movie. so i don’t get your reasoning in using will and denzel as examples. they are regularly paired – in fact almost always paired – with non-black or white women. so the EXTREMELY few times that black women are FINALLY shown with anybody then it’s a bad thing? Because for several years, they weren’t even showing black women with black men, let alone any otherrace of men. some dude has got you guilt-tripping and it’s not necessary. why try to scare off other black women from exploring their dating options? there’s no need to put down black men – just explore your options and know that, no, not every other race hates you (like many black men said about us, btw)

              • Val

                Did you actually read what I wrote or are you so hype to disagree that you just skimmed?

                • yah

                  oh ok my bad, i did skim that one, you’te right

            • RickyboyH

              It’s over-represented because they want to breed us out. It’s called a tv-PROGRAM for a reason you know! Look at Halle Berry, she’s biracial, but still “dark” enough to be called “black”. Look at her children, they don’t look black at all. Something is wrong when people are going out of their way to marry outside of their race, especially when we haven’t sorted out the problems in our community amongst ourselves first.

          • coolyfett

            I care how they feel. I only date black women. Not really into those other races, but thats just me.

            • ScriptTease

              …and I love Black Men. I am a deep person, and I just cannot get that from any other race. Not saying it’s impossible, but it’s rare.

        • FromUR2UB

          That’s true. White audiences have always been uncomfortable with black men and women being romantic. Maybe it reminds them of black people reproducing.

        • IDK/IJS

          I think you are looking at this wrong…..
          70% of Black women never marry
          30% of the Black women that do marry 96%of them are married to black men.
          Only 32% of black men marry, and 87% of the 32% are married to black women.

          I am not trying to be a jerk, but you have to look at all the numbers

        • Friday Foster-ABWW

          Only 43% of blacks are married. Black men marry and cohabit over 3x the rate black women do. It isn’t hype.

      • enlightenment

        You’re right, I don’t think she suggested it would change the world so-to-speak, but she did allude to the fact that she wanted to show the “reality” of IR dating. Which countless black films have already done btw. (And I live in NYC and I’ve been in an interracial relationship…and I got stared at like I had 5 heads lol! So it’s not that common at all. )

        Back to my point: Why are all these black films tripping over themselves to feature white love interests when all-white casted films ain’t even checkin’ for black love interests? You see why the obsession to have white co-stars seems strange to me?

        • Neco84

          Sure. They’re few and far in between. But like I said above. People just inherently feel the need to wanna see themselves on screen. No matter how small the figures are. Black/white relationships. Gay/Lesbian relationships. May/December romances. Abusive relationships. Etc. I dont think its as “deep” as everyone makes it out to be. I love animals! So im thrilled to see a Black female vet on screen. Numbers show that there are very few of those, so they shouldn’t make the film?

          • enlightenment

            Right, but Black/White relationships have already been vastly represented, not only in Black film, but TV shows are catching on as well: Happy Endings, Shameless, Scandal, possibly Sleepy Hollow etc.

            But Black film seems to be particularly obsessed with having white love interests, why?

            • queenbee9

              controversy fuels interest and dialogue which often then turns into increased sales and interest.

          • jmjg

            But why are Black people and Black films responsible for showing IR couples what they want to see? There is something deeply wrong with some if us. Other Black folk have no obligation towards us, especially when we feel no obligation towards them.

            • jmjg

              “of”

    • Guest

      Exactly. You see the black girl/woman white boy/man pairing everywhere from television shows on the Disney Network and HBO to films starring any mainstream black actress. There is nothing new for “forward thinking” about it.

      Sorry folks, films with majority black casts are not considered mainstream. If one like Act Like a Man or Waiting to Exhale breaks through and gets a mainstream, i.e. white, audience it is considered an anomaly. Black films and television shows keep adding white actors in hopes of gaining mainstream appeal but it doesn’t happen. The reality is that outside of sports most whites have no interest in watching television or films with majority black casts.

      • yah

        i hope you complained this hard about denzel in “flight” and will smith in “hitch” and “hancock” and idris elba in “prometheus”, and Taye Diggs on “Private Practice”etc, etc, etc. None of this IR stuff in the media is going to last forever (for black women or black men), so enjoy seeing your options while they last.

        • Courtney Banks

          actually did you know the woman lead in hitch was supposed to be a white woman. But they switched it, they couldn’t see a black man with a white woman.. But black movies love having white interest in theres

          • Alexis

            It’s sad. Blacks being the minority have to see that the majority has no desire to conform to the minority.

          • queenbee9

            Please–anyone remember General hospital when “Angie” was in love with a white guy who went with her but ultimately dumped her for a white woman? Anyone remember the black nympho who could not get enough of white guys in the Practice? anyone remember so many movies with this similar theme? The fact is adding a white sells because it sparks controversy and inflames racial prejudice (among whites as well as blacks) and controversy sells also. This is a ploy and maybe a good one–in that it opens back up the dialogue of the trajectory of blackdom in America and whether blacks are “selling out” or increasing their options or …. and whether by their actions black males are creating a petard that they themselves will not want to be hoisted by.

            • Courtney Banks

              The oldest stereotypes about black women created by white supremacy are Jezebel,Sapphire and Mammy, those haven’t gone away, they simply are in rotation in popular media… It’s funny because Will smith is the go to “safe” black actor in hollywood, but when they don’t even want to see him with a white woman then it’s a problem..

              • Val

                Yep, you’re right about those stereotypes. A lot of people don’t want to hear it, because they like the show, but Olivia Pope is a perfect “Jezebel” stereotype.

        • Guest

          You have a serious us against them complex that I see again and again in black women who are beating the drum in favor of these black woman/white man pairings. It is sad because it shows that the work has been done. The campaign is a success.

          So you know, I have always been outspoken about the absence of black couples in favor of IR ones in media. I don’t care who the players are, and I do not need the media to “see my options.” I have been turning down white men all my life. Despite what the media wants people like you to think, white men chasing black women is nothing new. Additionally, white men aren’t saviors for black women’s dating woes. Just ask the millions of white women who are divorced from white men, who have been abused by white men, who have been cheated on by white men, who are waiting on a white man to marry them, who have children by deadbeat white dads, etc. White men are not any better than any one else.

          • queenbee9

            ..and white men are no worse than anyone else either so women should keep their options open especially if the “brothers” in their midst appear to either be already taken or interested only in white females–black women need not seek out any specific race but they should not martyr their biologic years or companionship for the “black cause” either.

            • GUEST

              THANK YOU!!

    • hollyw

      I don’t think she was trying to simply touch on an issue or make a point as much as just present a realistic cast. I’ll be honest, only speaking for myself, it’s rare to get 5 couples together and EVERY SINGLE ONE be Black.

      • jmjg

        That is you world. I have no personal friends in IR relationships whether black or white.

  • Val

    I wonder how many White actresses ask for a Black love interest? Oh wait, I know the answer. None. SMH

    • S. Lee

      MOST if not ALL movies the cast is determined by the sales and the numbers to be brought in. Its not a secret that Hollywood doesn’t think that interracial couples/ black casts will bring in the $$. They are about money bottom line and that wont cut it unfortunately, no matter how cute it might be to some, if it is to be a worldwide blockbuster they don’t think most non American audiences would embrace it. I think Nia had more choice due to the nature of this film and it being more of a cult classic and urban flick. But unfortunately big studios run by whites would have told her to have several seats with her requests. Sorry.

      • Val

        Really? When is the last time Halle, Zoe, Jennifer Lopez or any other really popular mainstream actress of color has had a man of color play opposite her as her love interest in a film?

        Hollywood is and has always been about propaganda. If you don’t know that then you don’t know Hollywood’s history.

        • S. Lee

          What Im sayin IS the propaganda is WHY people are with SAME COLOR casts in most Hollywood films. You wont see an interracial couple because most productions don’t view that as mainstream and will make money across the globe. Its a small minded way to go, but we all know money talks. Minority and any race will be with what matches them and what casting director feels like tells a “good story” if they are not trying to have audiences focus on the COLOR dynamic they will always cast same race. People focus on that whether we like to believe it or not.

        • Guest

          You are once again correct, Val. Hollywood has a history of cherry picking women of color and pairing them with white men. When was the last time you saw Jennifer Lopez paired with a Latino male lead? In mainstream films actresses like Halle, Zoe, Rae Dawn Chong (80s), Vanity (80s), Paula Patton, Thandie Newton, Salma Hayek, Lucy Liu, etc. are ALWAYS paired with white men. Typically these women are the ONLY lead people of color in their films. These are the movies that are marketed to white audiences, who will go see a movie with token rather than an actual fully developed story about a couple where the people of color are the same. White couples and IR couples abound in mainstream film. However, same-race couples of color are scarce unless it is a niche production like Best Man Holiday.

        • Courtney Banks

          They all had before they blew up, remember Zoe was with Nick Cannon in drumline. Now she blew up and is with white men now…

          • Val

            Yeah, all actresses of color are paired with non-White men until, like you said, they blow up.

          • hollyw

            You right, that’s how you get to be “a crossover actress/actor”, by dating outside your race… but usually a white man, if you’re a Black woman, and a Hispanic woman if you’re a Black man.

        • yah

          Halle’s love interest was Benjamin Bratt in Catwoman, and he’s Latino (and fiiine), and most recently hottie Morris Chestnut played her love interest in The Call.

          • Val

            Okay. Now make a list of all of her love interests in her last 10 films and let’s see how that works out. I mean naming two films out of all of her’s doesn’t disprove what I said.

            • yah

              her last film WAS The Call. And Halle hasn’t been in too many more films since. And in fact, most of the movies Halle stars in, in general, don’t have her in a relationship with ANYONE.

              • totally normal chaos

                Also, Halle’s husband from the movie Gothika was black. thats one of my fav movies even though everyone else says its terrible.

                • http://www.homewerksvideo.com/ Quincy Poaches

                  No more horrible than Catwoman.

                • ScriptTease

                  and the way “Rock” Charles S. Dutton. was kissing her, was not cute.

                  • totally normal chaos

                    omg that was so terrible. just so gross. i feel that was foreshadowing of what a creep his character was going to end up being haha

            • Monique

              Cause she loves white men and has white babys, Halle tells them who she wants not the other way around..

              • Queen Mennon

                you said it, she has white babies and they will serve two purposes: to represent themselves as Black under the one drop rule, when it suits them and to increase the genetic numbers of the white minority. either way, dark skinned Black people lose. willie lynch scored big on this one.

          • debinbrooklyn

            Were they romantic/intimate in that movie? I don’t recall seeing Berry and Chestnut in a love scene. Sometimes even when Blacks are married, they don’t have intimate scenes.

        • Denise Clay

          Actually, Julia Roberts requested that Denzel Washington be her love interest in “The Pelican Brief”, but he wasn’t down…

          • Val

            You could be right but after trying to find something to confirm that online everything I saw said the studio changed (from the book to the film) the dynamics of that relationship. Maybe you could direct me to where you found this info?

            And, if Denzel was so against it then he sure has changed his stance on IR relationships in his films.

          • MImi

            True…. but that would be deviating from the book. In the book Denzel’s character was not her love interest. But your rarely hear white actors requesting a love interest from another race.

          • Anon

            If I were an actress, I would to be paired with Denzel or Idris Elba as a love interest. They are two of the hottest men, imho, in Hollywood.

            • anon

              Oops, that should be I would want to paired.

    • stewwie

      Thank you, Thank you “val”…..

    • Guest

      Exactly. By “request” or not, just about every black actress you can think of has been paired with a white man at some point in there careers. How many white actresses, especially A-list can you say this about? Folks just have blinders on. Look at Halle, Kerry, etc. Can you imagine a mainstream white actress being paired with a black love interest in some of the types of scenes these women have been in? Please. Turn on the lights, folks!

    • hollyw

      I think what she said was truthful, though; more Blacks are dating outside their race than any other, and that is the reality of the situation right now.

      • Val

        Nope, not true. In fact Black women are the least likely to date outside of their race other than Asian men. Asian women and White men are the number one IR pairing.

        But, it is interesting that you thought that. I wonder if you thought that because we see it so much in the media?

        • hollyw

          No, not due to the media. Just my personal experiences.

          • Shelly

            “… in addition to Black men being much more likely to date outside their race than Black women and Asian men combined. That is also true.”
            Where are you getting this from?

          • What do we have here?

            The majority of married Black men are married to Black women.

            • Friday Foster-ABWW

              Wrong ! According to the 2010 Census 43% of black people are married. The in 24% of 2010 marriages of black men were outside the race & 18.5 of black males in non-marriage cohabitation are with women.

              • No BS

                So the institution of marriage only started in 2010?

        • Tasha Gregory

          I feel like hollyw was true. In my every day life I see more interracial couples walking around, black women + a man of another race. who cares about the statistics, look around you. maybe black women weren’t so flexible back in the day, but times are changing now. not fast, but they are.

        • justnobody

          I thought as percentage white don’t outmarry more than POC(including asians) can you give the stats please?

    • Cheryl Whitfield

      But in reality, there are plenty of white women with black men. Just as S. Lee pointed out, the actors don’t make the decisions for these films, the sales department does. Also, we probably won’t know how many white women asked, if the answer was no.

    • Zzpop

      Soo we will refuse to acknowledge interracial relationships as long as “they” do? This is so annoying. She can do what she wants. If you don’t like it, make your own movie and keep it real.

      • Val

        Lol. I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.

        • shelly

          She’s saying that just because white people don’t ask for black love interests doesn’t mean that black actors should just follow white folks’ lead. That’s true, but I don’t think she understands the wrongness in blacks wanting whites as love interests, but them not wanting us back. It’s like, if someone doesn’t want you that much, why are you steady trying to chase them down like some desperate puppy?

    • thecomprehensiveplan

      These are the same people that complain about not having enough work for black actresses and actors in Hollywood. So when you have the opportunity to provide a black actor with work you request a white male. So the next time I hear black actresses and actors complaining about not having enough work, I’ll just turn the station.

      • Soulsis

        Church!!!!

      • marshefen

        I hadn’t thought of it from that perspective, but you’re right. Nia was one of those same people complaining of this. This would have been a great opportunity for an up and coming black actor.

    • Yolanda

      Lose the hate and sample when you date, you find out that other races are great.

      • Val

        Obviously reading comprehension is not a strong point for you. Where do I mention hate or even being against IR dating?

      • Queen Mennon

        sample what? we are talking about the survival of a people, just like you. we have a vested interest in not increasing the numbers of white people. white people are the minority in this world and maybe if we let your genetic annihilation naturally occur, the world might have a chance at peace.

  • Bren

    There is still 13% in denial of the changes within society. They don’t like reality.

  • Mia

    I only date black men but when I a black woman out with her white dude, I say more power to her! H*ll, if I dated outside my race I’m sure my last relationship wouldn’t have been 3 years ago.

    • Tyquinn

      how do you know?

      • Mia

        Because I’ve been hit on by men of other races who are more of what I want in a man.

        • Alexis

          That’s more of a character trait rather than a racial one.

          • marshefen

            It sounds like she’s saying she passed up some eligible white men because she was waiting for an eligible black men. She waited 3 years because she couldn’t find a black man that she was interested in.

            • Jack

              in that case she sounds stupid. possibly missing out on mr. right just cause he did have the same of stupid social conditioning that she must be with a man of the same “race”

              • marshefen

                I don’t think it’s stupid, but just about getting out of your comfort zone and trying new things. Black women are probably the last in line to date outside of our race (but more likely than Asian men imo). We’be been taught for so long to look for a good black man and sometimes just aren’t attracted to other races. We may not pay attention to a non-black male bc we don’t think we’ll have much in common with them. There’s a sense of pride in having a good black man, maybe because they seem so hard to find. But we need to look past that and just be happy with whoever loves us and we love them back.

      • Mia

        Plus I’ve hooked up with white men on occasion and I have know regrets. If a brother don’t stay home a sista will stray sometimes..

    • http://www.homewerksvideo.com/ Quincy Poaches

      Based on what, exactly?

    • ScriptTease

      Well, good for you…. However, I love my Black Men. I relate more with them, I need more than just company.

  • Chy

    WHETHER PEOPLE LIKE IT OR NOT THIS IS TRENDING N NOT GOING TO GO AWAY ANYTIME SOON. EMBRACE IT AND ENJOY THE FILM AS IT CAME. ITS NOT JUST A BLACK MOVIE, ITS AN AMERICAN MOVIE, SIMPLE.

    • enlightenment

      ….But why you yellin’ though?

      • pinkvanity

        If she was yelling she would’ve added a!, all she was doing was voicing her opinion like everybody else….

        • enlightenment

          Don’t be a dunce. Anyone who’s well-versed in internet-speak knows that ALL CAPS SIGNIFIES YELLING.

          • pinkvanity

            I sometimes use capital letters when im not yelling,Idk I just do it, A “!”is an expression of yelling also,maybe if she would have added a”!” We all would have known it was real,but she didnt..and your the dunce for taking a comment so seriously when noone really knows the emotional feelings the person had at the time…

            • Jane Smith

              When you type in all caps, it’s yelling. That’s like me saying I put a smiley face at the end, but didn’t mean to smile…… Then don’t do that. If you’re not yelling, don’t type in all caps. I don’t know why this isn’t common knowledge.

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    • http://www.homewerksvideo.com/ Quincy Poaches

      Why are you yelling?

      • TYBLACK

        Pink Vanity is slow.lol

    • DoRoSa

      I will never understand why people feel the need to tell someone how to type on their own computer. I really started to type this in all caps, just because.

      • Memedawn

        Because in the computer world all caps is yelling and as always, the exclamation mark is an expression of extreme excitement. If you send a business email in all caps, you will offend everyone and be disciplined. This is called Internet communication etiquette and all these “just because” are causing communication conflicts and misunderstandings.

        • enlightenment

          Exactly. Someone gets it.