14 Foolproof Ways To Get In The Mood
It’s happened to you: you’re looking at your partner thinking how attractive he is, how much you love him, and how great the sex is but…you’re still just not in the mood right now. But you want to be! Because, well, he’s a great guy and he deserves to get laid tonight! Here are 14 foolproof ways to always get in the mood.
Get some work done
This might seem odd, but sometimes you just can’t think about having sex because the guilt not over having done laundry or not responding to some mail or paying some bills is weighing on you. So get that work done! Women need to feel relaxed in order to get turned on, and you can’t relax when you have tasks piled up.
Give your bedroom a deep cleaning
A messy, cluttered space—especially the one you’re supposed to have sex in—can also stress a woman out and make it hard for her to get in the mood. Even if your partner teases you, give your room a good cleaning—pick up every item off the floor, dust surfaces, organize that set of drawers—and suddenly, you’ll want to get dirty in the other way in there.
Anything you can do to make yourself feel good about yourself helps to put you in the mood. Working out has double the benefits because it gives you a confidence boost plus energy—energy you’re ready to burn off between the sheets.
If you can convince him, bring your guy along for your pre-romp workout. You’ll feel instantly bonded by doing something healthy together, plus you get to see one another in clothes that show off your bodies.
Watch your hubby play with your kids
Next time your husband is playing with your kids, pause and watch for a while. Many women report being turned on by watching their partner spend time with their children. This probably comes from an evolutionary drive: knowing a man makes a good protector and provider gets those reproductive organs going!
Watch your partner in his element
More on the last point, watching your partner do what he does best—negotiating a deal, painting, boxing, giving a speech—can also turn you on. Again, it’s seeing that he is a competent provider.
Go to a bar with your partner, but flirt with other people
Seeing your partner be desired by somebody else can make you desire him—a little bit of jealousy goes a long way in the aphrodisiac department. Just be sure you both know where to draw the line, and go home together.
Give your partner a long hug
Research has found that hugging your partner for at least 30 seconds releases oxytocin, which is the hormone that makes us feel trusting of the person we are touching, and when a woman feels safe, she can feel turned on. While you’re at it, take a few deep breaths in your partner’s neck—his scent is probably an aphrodisiac for you.
Keep it above the belt for 20 minutes or more
Try this game: keep your hands above one another’s pelvic areas for at least 20 minutes. This not only creates a heightened sense of intimacy because you’re focusing on kissing and touching, but the novelty of it stimulates dopamine, which drives sexual arousal.
Share your sexual fantasies
The brain is the biggest arousal organ, and this is especially true for women. In order to be turned on, we need both physical and mental stimulation. You can tell your partner in person, or, for a heightened sense of “forbidden fruit,” you can text or email him naughty messages detailing your fantasies.
Give it 10 minutes
Usually, if you pull yourself out of your rut and give sex a shot for just 10 minutes, you’ll get in the mood. Make your brain go where your body doesn’t want to and your body will catch up.
Change something physical
Wear your hair differently, keep your clothes on, buy new lingerie or just make some small aesthetic change to how you approach sex. Just one small change can create a feeling of newness, which is always a turn on.
Some people just need to rev up their own engines before the real race. If you’re not in the mood, try a little self touch. Before you know it, you’ll want another person involved.
Again, your brain has to go there in order for your body to, so try this next time you’re struggling to get physically aroused: close your eyes and just imagine you and your partner making love. This takes no physical effort at all, but if you really let yourself feel the sensations and hear the sounds, you’ll want to put in the physical effort.