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Is anyone else tired of hearing about Meagan Good and DeVon Franklin’s chastity? For goodness sakes, you two are married already, it’s okay if you get your freak-a-leek on.

And, if you are not than you should be happy to know that the happily chaste duo are co-writing a book about the time they didn’t have sex for 10 months and how other couples should do the same too. According to this report from Jazmine Denise Rogers the book is non-shockingly titled “The Wait” and has a 2014 release date. Rogers writes that in an interview with Sister 2 Sister Magazine, Franklin, who is a Seventh Day Adventist pastor, spoke about the motivation behind the book, besides cashing in on the ever-thriving relationship expert industry: “It’s that waiting period where we really get the most anxiety and the most frustration, so we’re gonna be writing a book that will address that, and we believe it will be very helpful,” DeVon told Sister 2 Sister.

Those who read my previous piece now that I am indifferent to celibacy – and I’m definitely not fond at all of long term celibacy, particularly the kind that has you waiting in upwards of eight years for The ONE. Personally if celibacy makes you feel whole as a woman and a human being then do you, girlfriend (and boyfriend too)! But more to the point, I’m also not feeling this celibacy racket, which the Good-Franklin have been promoting as of late through interviews, speaking engagements and now through a book. For certain, once-practicing celibacy has been very lucrative for them, but spearheading it as some sort of relationship answer is wrongheaded and extremely misguided.

For one, I’m a believer that there needs to be a more realistic – and non religious based balance – to how we talk about sex and relationships, particularly in the black community and more specifically, black women. Like it or not, 93 percent of people in this country have sex before tying the knot. And as a community while we are certainly the most religious and conservatives in our beliefs around sexuality, we are also the most overly infectious. And often times, those two seemingly separate communities have a tendency to overlap. What that suggests is despite the religious indoctrination, which promotes purity particularly for women, folks are still getting busy behind The Church and all of its doctrine’s back. And they are getting busy in the mouth, in the anus and without protection – so not to violate their covenants with God.  It is this cognitive dissonance that explains why folks need to have real comprehensive sex and relationship education, especially one that exist out of the archaic and patriarchy framework of religion and slore-shaming. I mean for real, if virginity – or being a born again virgin – was really the bonding gift that folks preach it to be then explain to me how women in even the most conservatively religious-based conservative cultures find themselves on the receiving end of domestic abuse from their husbands?

I’m also a believer that there is no special hat trick to getting a ring from The ONE. You don’t have to run through an obstacle course or crack some secret and cryptic code. Odds are that your match will be someone, who identifies with you exactly the way you are and in spite of how many guys you have done in the past – even if that past was just last week. Just ask Kim Khardashian, who got a ring and for damn certain, wasn’t celibate. In fact, her fiance Kanye West admits to having to “wait through a bunch of relationships to finally get my chance” to say, Will You Marry Me to the woman of his obsession. And then there is Karrine “Superhead” Steffans, who can’t seem to not get a husband. Or this lady in Kenya, who was proposed to and eventually married two men, after telling them both that she was unable to choose, which of the two she wanted to stop sleeping with. If he (or she) is really feeling you, not only will he let it be known but it would take a reveal short of being the Anti-Christ to really turn him off. Heck, I know some dudes that would date the Anti-Christ if she could cook, had a good heart and a fat behind.

Think I don’t know what I’m talking about? Well just think of all the guys, who have pursued you relentlessly over the years but you rejected because he’s just not your type? And we know how hard it is to shake one of those interested but non-interested suitors? One time I told one tenacious dude I had no interest in that I gotten a research grant in Africa (the country), thus not being able to continue on dodging his calls, and his only response was, “well, will you have Internet service?”

And if the Good-Franklin dynamically righteous duo were being honest, they would speak on how actual chemistry based upon the fact that these had common interest, which includes how they both interpret their Christian faiths, was more in play than some arbitrary test of virtue. It, for certain, is not their experience. And despite Franklin being celibate for 10 years and Good being celibate for two months prior to meeting Franklin, the two only courted 10 months before tying the knot, which doesn’t seem like enough time to become an expert on either relationships (not to mention they were just married last June) or celibacy – okay maybe Franklin. But who wants to read a book about the ten years of how he distracted himself from the temptations of a natural part of human existence by doing extra push ups, taking long cold showers and making scrap books?

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