19 Sex Laws You Won’t Believe Are Real

November 21, 2013  |  
sex laws

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As liberal as the United States may be, we’ve got some peculiar laws about what you can and can’t do between the sheets — some of which you may have even come close to breaking!

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Shutterstock

No sex toys

Anyone engaging in sexual activity in Alabama had better be pretty skilled all on their own–the sale of sex toys in the state is a criminal offense!

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Shutterstock

No sex before marriage

If your way to determine whether or not you’re compatible with someone is by testing out your sexual chemistry, don’t move to Georgia! It is illegal in the state for unmarried persons to have sex.

"woman in bed pf"

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No sleeping in your birthday suit

It’s okay to engage in sexual intercourse in Minnesota, but when you’re done, you’d better put on pajamas fast! It’s illegal to sleep naked in this state.

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Keep it at 5 minutes in heaven

Don’t go to Iowa for your honeymoon–it’s illegal to kiss for more than five minutes in public here!

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No sex among the dead

In North Carolina, it is illegal to have sex in a graveyard. Meaning somewhere, at some point, somebody got caught doing it!

 

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Shutterstock

No sexual activity in Walk-in Meat Freezers

There’s something in the air in food markets and restaurants in Newcastle, WY, apparently. A law in this town near the South Dakota boarder prohibits couples from fornicating inside a grocery store’s walk-in meat freezer.

No sexual favors to pay up billiard debts

If you’re shooting pool for money at an establishment in Anniston, AL —just an hour south of Birmingham— be sure you’re good for your bet if you lose. It’s illegal for a woman to offer sexual favors in lieu of money to her billiards opponent.

Source: Shutterstock

Source: Shutterstock

No gunfire during fiery passion

In Connorsville, WI., just an hour-and-a-half outside of Minneapolis, it’s against the law for a man to shoot a gun at the same time that his sexual partner is in climax.

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No bestiality with larger creatures

In the state of Washington, it’s legal to get intimate with any animal that weighs less than 40 pounds. All animals over 40 pounds though are off limits.

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No ambulance hook ups

Should you find yourself in an ambulance in Tremonton, UT —an hour north of Salt Lake City— and you look over to see an attractive fellow rider, don’t make any advances. Intercourse during an ambulance ride can result in a misdemeanor charge for a woman. The man would escape with no charges.

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If the car’s-a-rockin’, don’t go a-knockin’

The town of Coeur d’ Alene, ID, is so polite: police here are not allowed to immediately approach a car if they suspect sexual activity is happening inside. Instead they are required to first honk three times at the car, and wait two minutes before approaching.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Source: Shutterstock.com

No well-lit sex

Forget a little harmless voyeurism in Virginia: the law here prohibits a couple from having sex with the lights on, or in a well-lit area.

other women

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 No non-missionary positions

Another law from Virginia; couples are forbidden to have sex in any position other than missionary.

"Man tickling a woman pf"

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No tickling

Virginia politicians must have had a long meeting on the laws of lust because here’s another one: it’s illegal to tickle women in public.

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Source: Shutterstock

No consummating during outdoor recreation

If you’re a newlywed couple in Oblong, IL. and you want to go fishing on your wedding day, you’ll have to put off the nookie. State law forbids couples from having sex on their wedding day if they’re also hunting or fishing on that same day. On any other day of the year, these two activities are just fine.

AP Photo/Carlsbad Current-Argus, Natalie Gross

AP Photo/Carlsbad Current-Argus, Natalie Gross

 Don’t let the horse watch

In Massachusetts, should a handsome rodeo clown catch your eye, make sure he tucks his horse into bed before you do the deed. State low forbids anyone from having sex with a horse present.

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Source: Shutterstock

No unprotected sex with the devil

If you find yourself in Bakersfield, CA, and in bed with someone you suspect might be possessed by the devil, it’s against the law not to use a condom.

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Shutterstock

No tollbooth temptation

In Harrisburg, PA, it’s illegal to have sex with a truck driver in a tollbooth.

Please don’t touch the photographs

In Oxford, Ohio it is illegal for a woman to take her clothes off while looking at or standing in front of a photograph of a man.

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  • Mossywell

    I have never read such a load of utter unadulterated crap in my life or is that also illegal to say?!!!

  • justsayin

    people in Virginia can’t do anything but missionary (Having a fallout issue) anyways so I guess they don’t want us showing their women how it’s done.

  • Just saying!!

    First of all, this is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever read. This country is even sillier than I thought. Second of all, I know almost everyone in Virginia has broken the law because you can’t have sex in the same position ALL the time. Third, why is there even a law for sex with animals!??!?!? Next, who is holding a gun while having sex!? (except rapists who would be breaking the law regardless), and lastly, WTH is up with these sexist laws that only apply to one sex!? -_-

  • Jessica2248

    LMAO!! I guess some of us “riding dirty”!!

  • Paniel Chigbu

    USA is getting married to dogs, citizens of USA keep quiet don’t speak out, keep saying God said we should
    not judge one another, that is always defensive language for the USA
    citizens. That God told them not to judge one another. You people are heading to hell.

  • NativeAmerican

    In Bakersfield, that would be about 2/3 of the population!!!

  • Vicki

    This is obviously just for laugh…These so-called ‘laws’ are absurd and mad as a hatter!!!

  • Taryn Bryant

    Does that happen a lot in Bakersfield? Hmmm

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  • SpicyYellowCake

    What the actual f*ck Virginia? I hate the south.

    • Eneae

      Actually, it worse. The article got it wrong. In VA missionary is the only legal position with your spouse while wearing socks. Law is outdated and ignored.

  • john

    If a hot woman loses to you in billiards and offers sex instead of money, would you really turn her in? I know I wouldn’t!

  • Michelle Hart

    This article has to be a joke! Some of this stuff is stupid!

  • waytoonice

    glorious virginia!!

  • marshefen

    So you can have sex with someone possessed by the devil, but make sure to wrap it up!

    • SnickerDoodle

      lol You allways hear wrap it up. Does that mean all the men who wrap it up are the devil. And if women arn’t protected, we’re going to have the devil’s spawn. I wouldn’t be surprised, sum of these kids out here are hella bad lol

  • Jasmine

    Well I’m so glad that these politicians have taken the time out of their busy schedules to pass all of these laws on the proper conduct of sex. I mean it’s not like there are any real issues happening in their cities and states. I promise I can sleep easier knowing that all the lights must be off in order to have sex. I mean hey, it saves me an extra trip to turn off the lights after doing the deed. I’d just feel lost with out these rules and regulations!

    • SnickerDoodle

      And, and, and…a lower electric bill haha

  • Do not exclude missionaries. Its great

  • Bri Lady

    Well, I know where I’ll be having sex in a car from now on. 😉

  • travie andrews

    Who is really holding a gun while getting buckwild?

    • Guest

      Rapists?

    • Tee Elyse

      Right??? And it only said men were prohibited! What about women?? LOL!

  • Jamie

    WTF?! why tf are people having sex with Animals there are more than enough people in the world for this type of BS not to be happening!

    • mojo

      exactly my thought…there were some funny and interesting rules but the animal one is just plan ridiculous!!!

      • Paniel Chigbu

        Hhahaha No keep quiet don’t speak out, keep saying God said we should not judge one another, that is always defensive language for the USA citizens. That God told them not to judge one another.