“You Gon’ Learn Today” & Other Phrases We Stole From Kevin Hart

November 8, 2013  |  

Of all the people I’ve had the opportunity to interview/meet since I started working at MadameNoire, after Iyanla Vanzant, Kevin Hart was the one I most looked forward to. When someone makes you laugh until you cry, they’ll forever hold a special place in your heart. And Kevin Hart is that person for me. And though he’s said some side-eye worthy things about black women I still ride for him. Sue me. Anyway, whether you love or loathe Kevin Hart, you have to admit, in the comedic arena he’s winning. And if you don’t believe me, just take a look at the ways in which his standup has influenced our daily lexicon.


Pineapples

If you and your boo are trying something new– and dangerous– in the bedroom, you’ll need a safe word just in case things get out of hand and you’re no longer comfortable. In his Laugh At My Pain standup, Kevin gave us the perfect word, pineapples. Be sure to say it with feeling.

Real Rap Raw

How many of you knew that Kevin Hart has a rapper alter ego named “Chocolate Droppa”? Well, he does. And before he busts into his genius freestyles, he often says “real, rap raw” to let you know the seriousness behind the flow he’s about to spit. Just today, my friend used it (seriously) in a G-Chat, which subsequently inspired this post you’re reading right now.

Alright, Alright, Alright

That Laugh at My Pain title was no joke. Kevin really did open up about some painful memories from his childhood, including the fact that his father was on drugs, which as you might assume, was a source of embarrassment growing up. Whenever his dad would show up, he would announce himself with three words: alright, alright, alllrrriiiight. Even if you haven’t seen the standup, chances are if you’ve been in the black community for six months you’ve heard someone make reference to this joke.

Bum Bump

If you ask me, one of the funniest parts of Let Me Explain was when Kevin tries to imagine one of the worst possible things that could happen to you in the street. And that would be for a homeless person to swipe your bottom lip. I don’t like the word bum but for the purpose of this point here, I’ll use it. So the assumption is that a bum’s hands wouldn’t be clean and if he were to touch the inner part of your lip, you would immediately break out. And you refer to the blemish as a “bum bump.” I  knew the joke was hilarious but I knew it had taken off when I heard Tamar Braxton use it on “Tamar and Vince.”

Somebody Had To Go

This little gem comes from a story Kevin told in his Seriously Funny standup. Actually, his daughter Heaven is the one who said this line. In case, you’re unfamiliar, check out the video above.

You Gon’ Learn Today

This is another one from Daddy Hart. And this has been everywhere as it proves to be most helpful when you have check someone and let them know the real.

No, Noooo

Honestly, I can’t even remember the story behind this “no, nooo” line from Laugh at my Pain. But it was so memorable somebody uploaded just the word no as a four second video on YouTube. If you’ve never heard it before you might think it’s excessive, but once you listen to the intonation in his voice as he says it, you’ll understand why we needed this Kevin Hart “no” video in our lives.

The Way My Bank Account Is Set Up

Again, in Laugh At My Pain Kevin explains that now that he’s making a bit more money, he’s hanging out a new group of people. And while he gets along with these people, he can’t always keep up with them financially. And instead of just saying “I ain’t got it,” he attempts to blame it on the structure of his bank account.

 

Source: Tumblr

Source: Tumblr

Say It Wit Ya Chest…

When someone is saying something without conviction, making you doubt their honesty, tell them to say it with their chest. And if you’re feeling trill you can add the “lil ni**a” at the end of it.

It’s About To Go Down

Surely, you know Kevin wasn’t the first person to say it’s about to go down. But again, it’s the intonation and pacing that allowed Kevin to make this one his own. If you hear someone say it out in public, in just the right way, you’ll know where they got it.

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  • roo08

    yes the same Kevin hart that repeatedly puts down black women.

  • blackbeauty2013

    SAY IT WIT CHO CHESS!!!!

    • RHONYC

      YAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

      ONE BULLET.
      ONE SHOT.
      GOODNIGHT!
      Lol ;-D

  • Ladybug94

    I actually heard alright, alright, alright way before Keven. Joe Pesci said that in Lethal Weapon I believe it was 3 a looooong time ago but some of the other stuff, I don’t recall.

  • thepreshest

    I always say “No…noooooo….I wasn’t ready”

  • Janee

    “No, nooo he wasn’t ready” Love it!! Kevin Hart is hilarious!

  • mojo

    I love this and I admit to using some of his phrases….it’s funny and catchy LOL

  • FromUR2UB

    I love the routine that “you gon’ learn today” is taken from, especially his father’s…um..loose cannon bumping heads as he’s moving down the row. Then, the little girls who say, “ewwwwwww!”. I’m crackin’ up now!

    • ________

      And couldn’t you just see his old arse daddy running around commando with sweats on?

      • FromUR2UB

        Oh my goodness!! That’s the funniest story I’d heard from a comedian in a loooooong time!

  • D.D

    He is prime example of its not what you say but how you say it. He puts on a show and is a fool in the best way lol

  • ________

    Allright allright allright! It got stuck in my head one day and I’ve been saying it for the last 2 weeks. It took me forever to finally watch him do stand up because I always thought he was annoying, but his standup is super funny! The story about his dad and the sweats killed me. Then the uncle who was going kill cancer? Kevin Hart is a fool!

    • mojo

      I agree I wasn’t to fond of him at first but after seeing him live a few years ago I am a fan lol

    • You can tell cancer when I see him, I gonna peel its muffin cap back blue lol..omg that little man is funny…my begs to think different though.

      • Ajavee

        When Kevin said peel his muffin cap back blue I was off of my
        sofa laughing so hard I began to cry. I wonder what is a muffin
        cap LMBO!

        • Me too! I was going to ask you!

          • Ajavee

            Ha ha I have no idea LOL! I was in tears on my floor.