“You Gon’ Learn Today” & Other Phrases We Stole From Kevin Hart
Of all the people I’ve had the opportunity to interview/meet since I started working at MadameNoire, after Iyanla Vanzant, Kevin Hart was the one I most looked forward to. When someone makes you laugh until you cry, they’ll forever hold a special place in your heart. And Kevin Hart is that person for me. And though he’s said some side-eye worthy things about black women I still ride for him. Sue me. Anyway, whether you love or loathe Kevin Hart, you have to admit, in the comedic arena he’s winning. And if you don’t believe me, just take a look at the ways in which his standup has influenced our daily lexicon.
If you and your boo are trying something new– and dangerous– in the bedroom, you’ll need a safe word just in case things get out of hand and you’re no longer comfortable. In his Laugh At My Pain standup, Kevin gave us the perfect word, pineapples. Be sure to say it with feeling.
Real Rap Raw
How many of you knew that Kevin Hart has a rapper alter ego named “Chocolate Droppa”? Well, he does. And before he busts into his genius freestyles, he often says “real, rap raw” to let you know the seriousness behind the flow he’s about to spit. Just today, my friend used it (seriously) in a G-Chat, which subsequently inspired this post you’re reading right now.
Alright, Alright, Alright
That Laugh at My Pain title was no joke. Kevin really did open up about some painful memories from his childhood, including the fact that his father was on drugs, which as you might assume, was a source of embarrassment growing up. Whenever his dad would show up, he would announce himself with three words: alright, alright, alllrrriiiight. Even if you haven’t seen the standup, chances are if you’ve been in the black community for six months you’ve heard someone make reference to this joke.
If you ask me, one of the funniest parts of Let Me Explain was when Kevin tries to imagine one of the worst possible things that could happen to you in the street. And that would be for a homeless person to swipe your bottom lip. I don’t like the word bum but for the purpose of this point here, I’ll use it. So the assumption is that a bum’s hands wouldn’t be clean and if he were to touch the inner part of your lip, you would immediately break out. And you refer to the blemish as a “bum bump.” I knew the joke was hilarious but I knew it had taken off when I heard Tamar Braxton use it on “Tamar and Vince.”
Somebody Had To Go
This little gem comes from a story Kevin told in his Seriously Funny standup. Actually, his daughter Heaven is the one who said this line. In case, you’re unfamiliar, check out the video above.
You Gon’ Learn Today
This is another one from Daddy Hart. And this has been everywhere as it proves to be most helpful when you have check someone and let them know the real.
Honestly, I can’t even remember the story behind this “no, nooo” line from Laugh at my Pain. But it was so memorable somebody uploaded just the word no as a four second video on YouTube. If you’ve never heard it before you might think it’s excessive, but once you listen to the intonation in his voice as he says it, you’ll understand why we needed this Kevin Hart “no” video in our lives.
The Way My Bank Account Is Set Up
Again, in Laugh At My Pain Kevin explains that now that he’s making a bit more money, he’s hanging out a new group of people. And while he gets along with these people, he can’t always keep up with them financially. And instead of just saying “I ain’t got it,” he attempts to blame it on the structure of his bank account.
Say It Wit Ya Chest…
When someone is saying something without conviction, making you doubt their honesty, tell them to say it with their chest. And if you’re feeling trill you can add the “lil ni**a” at the end of it.
It’s About To Go Down
Surely, you know Kevin wasn’t the first person to say it’s about to go down. But again, it’s the intonation and pacing that allowed Kevin to make this one his own. If you hear someone say it out in public, in just the right way, you’ll know where they got it.