Don’t Let Doubt Set In: What To Do When Your Best Isn’t Enough

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October 27, 2013 ‐ By Madame Noire

From ESSENCE

“…Even now, that same sense of shame sometimes creeps over me when I am praised or complimented. I wonder, “Am I really enough?”

My coaching clients echo these sentiments, despite being successful entrepreneurs and leaders. As I continue to “do my work,” I’ve learned to focus on these three things when the “not enoughs” knock on our doors:

1. Know Our Gifts: Dwayne Coleman —I’m sorry I stole “your” masterpiece! But at the time, I didn’t know my gifts.  In the second grade, the opportunity for them to be seen had not yet emerged. Music and art classes were painful reminders of my limitations.

Everyone has gifts! However, we typically overlook them as we focus on others’. Our inability to recognize our uniqueness often opens the door for others to treat our talents dismissively. Though we may not all possess the acting chops of Viola Davis or the athletic prowess of Gabby Douglas—there is a place where we shine!

ACTION STEP: List your gifts/talents and describe how they impact your environment. Once you learn to value them—your attitude will set the standard for others.

2. Know Our Limits:  Everyone has limits! The healthy response is to respect and understand their impact. Sometimes we have to simply accept them, many times we can change them and other times we can surround ourselves with people who are gifted where we are not. Regardless, a true limit (meaning it cannot be fixed) is not to be feared—it is to be faced as you craft your game plan for success.

ACTION STEP: Answer the following: What are my limitations? Are they real or perceived? If real, answer this question, How have my gifts enabled me to compensate for my limitations?

3. Know Our Worth: Your worth is based on who you are—not what you do! You are a miracle of purpose and if you don’t believe in purpose, even science attests to your uniqueness! Everyone is an expression of potential and power.

You already have a proven track record of overcoming great odds. Regardless of your flaws, faults or physical inabilities, you’re here! You came here a winner—don’t be intimidated by the worth of others. LIVE YOUR WORTH in the knowledge of who you are.

ACTION STEP: Journal about 5 obstacles you have overcome and what you learned about yourself.

Read the rest of Coach Felicia’s story over on ESSENCE.com where she discusses her first experience of not feeling like enough…back in first grade!

What do you do when you feel like your best isn’t enough?

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