Do You Agree? Amber Rose Says When It Comes To Your Man Staying Out All Night “You Have To Let Him Live”

43 Comments
October 24, 2013 ‐ By

Amber Rose Bethenny

We all know celebrities have unconventional relationships and often live and play by a different set of rules, but when it comes to Amber Rose’s mating advice some probably wonder what game she’s playing.

Wiz Khalifa’s wife recently appeared on an episode of the talk show “Bethenny” alongside Tiki Barber and actor Ian Ziering (weird combination right?) and the three panelists got into a discussion on jealousy. Bethenny asked whether it’s justified to have concerns about your significant other being out in the streets after midnight or whether there’s really any difference in hanging out at 4 pm or 4 am, and to that Amber Rose said:

“You have to let your man live because at the end of the day you want him to be like, ‘Wow, I have a really great girl at home and she kind of lets me live.’ You don’t want him to resent you in the end.”

Unsurprisingly, Ian, who we haven’t seen much of since his “90210” days, gave that advice two thumbs up, saying: “That’s more of a turn on. It really is if your wife says go ahead, go have fun with the boys.”

Understood.

There’s certainly nothing attractive about a jealous, overbearing girlfriend who texts her man every hour on the hour asking where he is and who he’s with — or worse, doesn’t let her guy have his much-needed man time and always invites herself to tag along. But the idea of letting a man live can get a little tricky depending on what exactly his definition of living is. Amber, of course, has no choice but to deal with late nights at the club and groupie advances because that’s pretty much how Wiz and every other rapper lives, but when I posed this idea to a coworker who’s in a relationship she was not about it at all, asking the timeless question: But why do men always like to be out in the streets so late with their boys?

I think that question has to deal with a number of factors. Firstly, he’s probably trying to relish his “freedom,” so to speak, and act like a college boy again because we all know how immature men can get when they get around each other and alcohol is involved. But secondly, it really depends on the relationship status of the friends he’s hanging out with. If a man has a bunch of single friends then, yeah, he’s likely gonna try to hang like one of the boys. But, if your man has a bunch of married friends or guys who are at least in relationships they’re gonna have their behinds in the house by midnight because none of their girls are having it either.

Every now and then it shouldn’t be a big deal to let your man live. I think the bigger question is what is his definition of living and how often he’s trying to be about that life.

What do you say to the idea of letting your man live?

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  • dreameagle

    that’s ridiculous–if it’s some kind of organised activity geared to men, perhaps…but then, the only reason i have you at home is because i want to come home and f*ck you senseless off and on the rest of the night, so how on Earth am i gonna stay away from you and do that?

  • Alexis

    That’s fine if he had a great girl at home that let’s him live. But he has a great WIFE at home; his a$$ needs to be there with her. Nothing innocent happens after 12. Sure you can go out sometimes and catch up with friends but what would you think of me, your wife, strolling in @ 3 smelling like cigarettes, raspberry ciroc w/redbull, shoes in hand, stumbling to get out of my red freakum dress? Not a good look. You just can’t make a habit out of that behavior

  • kim

    A relationship is trust. if that is not there, there is no need to be in the relationship. A woman thinks differently and acts differently than a man. You cant make a man change his life to be in yours, he has to want to change and make changes on his own. and until then, you have to let him live. i give amber her props for understanding. and her understanding will create a better bond with her husband than a woman that feels as if her husband is her property

  • LJ

    Yes, let your man live. He’s an individual with his own life and interests. Isn’t that what attracted you in the first place? Interestingly, if he’s into you and the relationship, he won’t WANT to be out all night. Yeah, he’ll do the “guys night out” every once in a while, but if you’re spoiling him and treating him right he’ll be rushing home. Just saying.

  • Keland

    SMH. I hate when women like her say such foolish things. They have been brainwashed by patriarchy.

  • FeelsGood

    My advice would be to know what you’re getting yourself into. If when you’re dating this guy and he’s hanging out late consistently, don’t expect much to change when/if you get married. And don’t complain about what you accept. Majority of women who complain about stuff like this knew what it was from the beginning but thought she could change him.

  • Candacey Doris

    Unless your husband is famous there’s no reason for him to be out until 4am every single night. But hanging out is something guys do and that is something you have to work with. Of course if you’re married then hopefully you know your husband and what he’s likely to do when he’s out.

  • cocochanel31

    My ex and I went through this and was a major issue or me. We were both party animals when we met so I did not care about his clubbing , but after a certain point you should be clubbin/hanging out with your gf more than with the “boys”

  • Ms_Sunshine9898

    i have no problem with it as long as you tell me where you are and where you’re going up front. if you have enough trust and communication in a relationship, it shouldn’t be a problem. i would expect the same from him when I have a girls night out with my girlfriends. . .

  • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

    What you deny you make more enticing. By saying he CAN’T go you make it a power struggle. Frankly if you have a life of your own you encourage your husband to pursue that which makes him happy. Of course you have to establish a mutual respect and trust in the relationship. Now if he’s out EVERY weekend stumbling home at 5am on Sunday . . . . Houston we have a problem.

    Once in a while my husband will go hang with the fellas until 1 or so, its once in a blue moon and I encourage it. He’s married not dead, and not a prisoner. Likewise once in a while I’ll let my hair down and live it up with the girls.

    • Lisa

      I also agree with you but what would
      you do if your husband started

      going out every other day
      and staying out late?

      Just not mention it?

      • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

        Mutual respect. You should have that for one another. If you don’t why are you married? Would a man who respected you go out every other day? Probably not.

  • lady31

    I personally believe it depends on those who are in the relationship. Some men are dogs no matter what and you must keep in mind a person is going to do what they want to do regardless if it is done at 4am or 4pm. A dog is as a dog does, but in my opinion people both male and female need their space. No one should be codependent and depend on a man or a woman to define their happiness or fun. I go out alone, with my dude, and or girls, I think allowing the man his freedom is normal but when he is displaying disrespectful behavior you need to address these relationship issues. And the person should be able to take care of home in addition to hanging out with friends you should never feel disrespected. In the end its normal and fair for both sexes to have some friend time but not unnecessary stupid friend time that causes issues.

    • Alexis

      That’s fine, but why does one only need their space at sinful hours? Why can’t you go to lunch with your bro, say noon? Of course they should be allowed to party sometimes but I’d be a fool to feed my husband to the wolves under the guise of trust. Those girls at night are scantily dressed and hungry

  • SexNdaCity

    I personally feel that once you get married, that out all night several nights a week stuff should stop. Now if it’s occasionally done, that’s okay. Like for instance if they’re out celebrating a special event for a friend or something, but just that casual want to be out all night stuff wouldn’t fly for me. There’s obviously a reason a man would want to be out late allll the time.There’s a difference between living the single life and the married life and I think some people forget.

    • lady31

      this is what causes some men to stay away from marriage because they feel that they will loose some of their freedom. I do think a man should be home but if he does not want to be there then why hold him in the house. For some women they don’t understand by not blowing up when he does this will make it non appealing to him let him go and then you do you. He would probably rather stay home anyways but if you make it a mandatory “you’re a married man now” type of thing some men may get turned off to that. I feel that you allow a person to do what they want and if it does not fit you then leave but I don’t believe in forcing someone to fit a stereotype of what married people are supposed to do. I think those things should naturally occur before you get married. I am married and it was natural not forced or talked about and anyone i have ever dated always wanted to be with me all the time even after the break up because i was their friend and not some woman who bossed them around in a relationship, the respect was natural and understood that ok you go out but today is our day or you hang out and when they are done they usually call me when they are out or when they got in. Relationships are not meant to be boring.

      • Lisa

        In what world is a married man allowed to act
        the same as a single man?

        Of course they will lose some freedom, so will their
        wives.

      • Mikkalotious

        Also, maturity level and respect has a lot to do with it. As for myself… I feel both parties need their own space and me time…if two mature adults have a common respect and love for each other it doesn’t matter what time either one gets in. While they are out they honor and keep it respectful….jealousy doesn’t fit into that equation… I know my guy loves to dance and have a good time…I don’t have any problems with him going out with or without the boys…everyone knows he is in a committed relationship…and if something out of order was to occur he would tell me and vice versa…no problems here.

      • dreameagle

        if you’re the right one, the only freedom I’ll need is your permission to come home and f*ck your brains out…

        • dreameagle

          and i’ve been married to the right one over 30 years and she knows i measure and define my manliness by whether I’ve done enough right things each day to make her let me do that to her…and want to do it to me;

    • Lisa

      I agree with you, how do you have time to be out all night and you’re married?

      I would let my husband be out maybe once every 2 or 3 weeks when he is younger or every month to two months when he is older.

      As a 30 year old woman that was just out all night this past weekend, I have no desire to do it again within the next month or so.

      And being out all night or always going out and not inviting your wife. Somethings up. Where this is smoke, there is fire.

      • Trisha_B

        “I would let my husband be out maybe once every 2 or 3 weeks when he is younger or every month to two months when he is older.”

        Are you sure your talking about a grown able body man or your child?! o_O I see why some man don’t want to get married lol. A man shouldn’t have to feel like a child & having to ask his wife permission to see his friends, be grounded, & get certain perks like a 16 yr old getting permission to date.

        • Herm Cain

          Exactly you see how little topics like this show how needy and overbearing some women are and then you wonder why brothers choose to stay away from marriage who says s**t like that when talking about a grown adult man I don’t control my significant other and she d*mn sure wont control me I think with maturity and trust this isn’t even an issue my lady can stay out until she’s good and ready myself as well

          • Trisha_B

            Yea, that comment caught me off guard lmao. If a man said something like that people would be hollering that hes controlling. If I gotta control my man & give him limits like a child then we dont need to be together. Thats just crazy. I agree w/ you!

            • Ajavee

              I agree with you and Herm Cain…that controlling attitude will have a man or woman running away from you..Relationship/marriage is not dictatorship.

          • so

            Say that again! My husband is grown and I trust him to make the best decisions for us. I don’t need to monitor him or tell him what he can and cannot do.

            • Ajavee

              People who feel that they have to constantly hound and monitor what their significant other does has some trust issues.

        • clwa0303

          Lol i was thinking the same thing….

  • Travie Andrews

    If you have trust then you should not be worried about him staying out or vice versa. I agree with Amber! We all need time away! Its different strokes for different folks, you have some people who are hermit crabs and never go out and then you have others who are alway wilding out; find the balance, compromise. That is what a relationship is all about.

  • JDailey

    You have to consider the source and taking advice from Amber Rose is a little sketchy at best. Yes, you have to let your man live, but most respectful men and women know that being out til all times of night is not respectful to yourself or your relationship. Its about maturity and knowing when its time to bring it in. Celebrating with the fellas is cool, but anything past 2 is really just taking advantage.

    • Losh

      Amber couldn’t say otherwise…otherwise she wouldn’t exist as we know her.

  • MarriedMomOf2

    My hubby let me have my fun with my friends, I let him have fun with his, we trust each other. Married life don’t supposed to be boring you know.

  • Dee

    My husband of 14 years hangs with his guys til 3AM on occasions like birthdays or celebrating success of a friend like a great job or graduating college, but while he’s out he calls me to check on the kids and I to make sure we’re safe. My husband let me do the same when I hang out with my girls and I also call make sure my kids and my husband are okay. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you and your spouse can’t have fun, so yeah I have to agree with Amber on this one.

    • JMO

      I was going to say the same! My husband works really hard so he deserves to be able to hang with his boys some times. I don’t sweat him when he’s out, he’s actually the one texting me the whole time! lol But there’s a balance. He’s not out every weekend. We have our time too. (Same goes for me when I’m with my girls).

  • Tonyoardee

    Wiz is 23 and if you listen to his music you would know that’s what his life consists of. Us men need that time to chill to do our own thing

    • cryssi

      Actually he is 26….

  • Trisha_B

    Its not like it’s happening every week or something. If it’s one of his friends birthdays, or the guys just want to hang out. Go have fun. B/c us women like going out w/ our friends. We be out till like 2 in the morning, but the guys can’t do it?! Let the man have his fun. As long as it doesn’t become a habit, I see nothing wrong w/ it. & if you think letting him live & allowing him to go out till 2 in the morning is gonna make him cheat, your dumb. B/c he’ll cheat regardless of what time of the day it is.

  • Guest

    It’s usually girls who are concerned with being “the cool girlfriend” or “the cool wife” who say dumb stuff like this. That’s such an immature mentality though. My husband does not and would not ever stay out that doggone late with his boys. Not because I blow his phone up, but because he doesn’t think it’s appropriate for a married man to be running the streets at any time of night.

    • candy cane

      Wiz is a 23 year old married man; you know most men have to grow into their maturity. He’s been single longer than he’s been married; he’s not going to stop doing some things right away like hangin out all night with his homies.

      • cryssi

        Wiz is 26

    • Lisa

      I somewhat agree. Amber’s situation is different though. Wiz loves her to death and thinks she is the best thing since sliced bread.

      She should take care when making comments like this because every man isn’t a star like Wiz is and their job doesn’t depend on them partying like Wiz’s does.

      These average dudes DO NOT need to be out all night every night.

      Couples need their separate lives though. And that is different.

    • so

      EXACTLY, because HE doesn’t think it is appropriate. I married my husband trusting him to make the best decisions for US. So, I am not worried about whether he hangs out all night or not. He and his friends have gone midnight bowling before, which would fall under staying out all night to some people and I had no issue with that. He is not an entertainer,so there is no need for him to make appearances in the club every weekend, but if that were his occupation, I would understand.

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