Dear Damon,
Me & this guy met right in the middle of our respective divorces. What was supposed to be a two week rebound for me turned into 4 months–we came to genuinely care for one another. I broke if off gently, saying we should give one another some time to heal. I go to therapy, he goes straight to the next girl (and therapy). However, we “hang out” regularly, and of this his gf is aware. I doubt she knows it’s every weekend. She definitely doesn’t know I sleep over (just sleep for now).
Months pass and for some reason, the chemistry’s still there. The old me woulda cut this off as soon as I heard about the new chick, but since I’d gotten so close to the family, I felt that would be wrong of me. Besides, his parents, brothers, and friends love me and I came to love them too-they were super supportive through my divorce since my parents couldn’t be.
More months pass and he’s still seeing the same girl, but the chemistry between us remains. I try to avoid him as much as I can. Now it’s been a year since he and I stopped dating each other. I’m still not dating by choice. he’s still dating homegirl, still calling me twice a week, and we’re hanging out almost every weekend. I’ve since moved outta state but like an idiot started sleeping with him right before I left. He still calls me twice a week without fail. I’ve been lying to get outta taking his calls for a couple weeks now.
I’ve finally accepted he has no plans to do any self-reflection any time soon, and I want out of whatever kind of relationship this is (side chick? Ex? whatever) and I thought putting a couple states between us would do it. Talking to him just causes me a lot of anxiety, but I still talk to his parents regularly. How do I gently convince this guy to leave me in peace, hopefully without alienating the fam? Or has this ship simply sailed?
– Bad with Breaking It Off
Dear Bad With Breaking It Off,