Would You Hang Out With a Guy Who Dates Other People?

October 23, 2013  |  

Source: Bravo

I have been watching “The New Atlanta” (not sure what the motivation was for the name, there is nothing “new” about it) and it’s been a fun process getting acquainted with all the interesting characters that dominate the show.

I am now invested in the love triangle involving the dapper and self-professed man about town Vawn Sims, Africa Miranda, who with Vawn’s help is pursuing her music career and Alex Dilworth, the resident socialite who is determined to use her youth and “beauty” to seduce Vawn away from her much older nemesis.

Vawn is the kind of guy that would expectedly attract a harem of women simply because he has the self-confidence and the stamina to keep the opposite sex consistently on alert. He is handsome, successful and a smooth operator but most importantly he is aware of the effect he has on the ladies and like most men of his caliber, he uses it to his advantage. It ultimately becomes his weapon of choice and he wields it at his command, which can make him a somewhat dangerous choice in the dating department. He was compelled to write a book – “The Man-U-All Love, Need, Want & Hate,” and this piece of literature is supposedly a must read for all the women out there who regard men as an unsolved mystery.

I haven’t read the book yet but I doubt highly that I will have a light bulb moment after partaking of all the “wisdom” sprawled all over the pages. I did however get an in-depth summary of the message being conveyed so eloquently. In one of the episodes, Vawn decides to host an event where he and the guys discuss the themes illustrated in his book and he proceeds to declare himself incapable of being in a committed relationship. He proudly explains that as long as he is completely honest and open about his motives, he sees nothing wrong with casually dating multiple women at a time.

As a viewer, when we witness this, our hearts immediately go out to Africa, because they seemed like they hit off the night she came over to his apartment for dinner. He pulled out all the stops and set the tone for an effortlessly romantic time in his cozy apartment and she was just as dazzled as we were.

But as if on cue, right after their memorable date, Vawn displayed his penchant for stirring the pot when he gave into Alex’s vivacious nature and they both enjoyed a flirtatious session while attending a party later that week. Africa was in attendance and saw it all go down but stood firm while explaining to her perplexed friend and fellow cast mate, Emily Lipman that she was aware of the fact that she and Vawn were just “hanging out” and despite the electricity being charged across the room, she was confident that she was still the woman on top.

In a later episode, Vawn finally opens up to Africa about his reluctance to commit to her because he hasn’t reached that point in his life where he feels comfortable enough to be in a monogamous relationship. Africa takes it all in stride, but you can see the disappointment in her face. But she manages to summon the energy to praise Vawn for being honest enough to admit that he intends to still be a player even though he enjoys being with her.

After taking all this in, I started to wonder how many women tolerate this kind of behavior from the guys they are hanging out with. The fact that Vawn is honest about the fact that he likes to have his freedom is not necessarily impressive. It just demonstrates his lack of maturity and a certain level of pompousness that normally plagues good-looking men with a steady income.

I suspect a lot of women put up with these unreasonable demands because they like a good challenge and healthy competition and they hold out hope to be THE ONE the guy ultimately chooses. If both parties are on the same page, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with an open relationship or dating through revolving doors; but if you are stuck with a guy that you really like who doesn’t seem ready to be your one and only, I say keep it moving because every minute you waste with him could be time spent with someone more worthy of you.

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