“I Can’t Stop Thinking About Him!”: How To Get Over The Ex-Factor

October 22, 2013  |  


Source: Shutterstock


From YourTango

It’s funny how many times women come to me and say, “David, I’m so frustrated dating. I just don’t think I can date anymore.”

I’ll ask them the reasons why, and a lot of the time they’ll come up with, “It’s my ex. I can’t stop thinking about him.”

All they remember is the good times together. They only remember the happy times, not the reasons why the relationship ended.

I call it “Romanticizing The Ex Syndrome.”

It’s very typical of women who have been single for some time after a breakup.
You only think about how good your ex was to you at times. You remember what a wonderful man he was in so many ways. This is fine to a degree. It’s beautiful to look at your ex positively. And it’s important to consider all the lessons they taught you, but it’s vital you realize why you’re not with them anymore. Those are the lessons you really need to embrace and pay attention to.

We tend to romanticize the ex when we’re going through a rough patch of dating. It’s what I call the cry of a lonely girl. You date someone new but it doesn’t work out, so you start to think about your ex. You have a period where you don’t meet any quality men, and before you know it, you’re remembering all the good times you had in your last relationship.

Don’t let yourself get carried away with those thoughts. You’re just going through a dry spell. You HAVE to get over your ex before you can move on.

So why do these thoughts of past love fly through our minds?

Most the time it’s because moving forward scares us. It’s a scary proposition moving on from old partners. Moving on means we have to open up our hearts again, and that means a chance of getting hurt.

But, you have to get over your ex once and for all. It’s the only way you’re going to get on with your life, and open up to new love. So I want you to think about this today…

How often do you think of your ex?

When do you most think of them?

How does it make you feel?

Read more at YourTango.com 

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • QueenDJG

    I have been single for a year and a half since I broke up wit my boyfriend. I have been experiencing “the cry of a lonely girl” for a long time especially since seeing my ex have many girlfriends since our breakup and also seeing my friends wit boyfriends,it’s been very hard for me

    • BabyBlue

      I totally know what you’re talking about. I always think about the “what could’ve” been. I think about that person when I’m bored and feeling lonely. But, a light bulb comes on and I’m suddenly reminded on why we couldn’t have worked “at the time.” if I were you i wouldn’t beat myself up over it. This is a perfect time to inhale new air. Ponder what you’ve learned from that and take it as growth. It does get rough and tough. Good luck

      • QueenDJG

        Thank u for the encouragement. It is highly appreciated 🙂

        • BabyBlue

          You’re welcome

  • You make a good point, but I also think that if you’re hurt, you tend to remember the bad times. The important thing to remember here, is that everyone who comes into our lives has things to teach us, good & bad. If we learn from these experiences, hopefully our relationships will improve each time as we get wiser.