Kim Kardashian And The Snapback Photo: Do You Have To Behave A Certain Way When You Become A Mom?

October 19, 2013  |  

Source: Instagram


This past week, Kim Kardashian shared with her Instagram followers a donkalicious photo of herself. While fans and boyfriend Yeezus approved, some looked at her photo with disdain. Our MadameNoire readers claimed her “look-back-at-it” selfie was “tacky and narcissistic.” Others noted her reputation with men and how she will never be wife material for Kanye West because of her attention-seeking antics. Most importantly, many who commented stated that her photo was not “mommy-like.”

As I read and listened to the commentary on Kim, I thought of my friends. Although we try not to take those selfies with our defined arms, legs and curves too seriously, we joke about the reason why some of us work out now: We desire to snap-back quickly after our future children have been delivered. Let’s be real, American society is fascinated with weight loss and sex appeal, especially when celebrity mothers are involved.  Ashleigh Schmitz of Parade magazine writes:

“It’s no secret that celebrities bounce back from pregnancy faster than the average woman. After all, their schedules and job demands practically insist that they automatically zip up their size 0 jeans within a few weeks of their newborn’s first Instagram selfie. Who can forget Heidi Klum strutting down the Victoria’s Secret runway a mere 5 weeks after giving birth to her fourth child in 2009?”

As people continuously speak on what a mother should be or look like, it makes me wonder, where did we get these rules from?

Through social media and television we have come to know Kim as a media-opportunist. During the latest season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, she claimed that as soon as she delivered Baby North she would love to pose for Playboy magazine again. The Huffington Post reports:

“Kardashian’s insecurity about losing her sex appeal and cool factor during her pregnancy is something that has been explored this season on the show. In earlier episodes, Kardashian was seemingly obsessed with her teenage sister Kylie Jenner’s opinion on everything, and was on a quest to appear on her Tumblr as a sign that she was still cool.”

Although people may feel Kim K. has a marketed personality, her insecurity runs rampant in everyone. As my friends and I approach the height of our mid-20s, we have conversations about what it means to get older. Maturity means losing parts of yourself that you have grown accustomed to. During her pregnancy, Kim did not receive the friendliest feedback regarding her body size or fashion. Unlike the average woman who has given birth, Kim’s transition into motherhood was not only personal but also extremely public. As one of Hollywood’s “sex symbols,” she’s trying to figure out how to walk the line between being who folks know her to be, and developing into North West’s mother.

As people question her maternal instincts and what she should and shouldn’t be doing as a new mom, be reminded of Toni Braxton, who has two sons, contemplating if she too, should pose for Playboy during the second season of Braxton Family Values.  And during interviews, mother and actress Paula Patton consistently discusses her sex life with husband Robin Thicke, even sharing how big his package is. Surprisingly enough, these women along with others have not been talked about as ladies missing the maternal gene. Or perhaps, there is no special gene that sets “real mothers” apart? When observing my own mother or aunts, I realize that being a “good” mom depends on how a woman chooses to develop herself, if she’s there for her child, nurturing the child (or children) and making sacrifices. Does one photo really have an impact on that? If you ask me, there’s not one way to be or act when you’re a mother, just as there isn’t one right or wrong way to be a woman.

 Do you think Kim Kardashian is a good mom? 


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  • Velvet

    She jus needs attention thats all!

  • Tiffany Shaw

    This topic is completely ridiculous and to me just a little bit hypocritical. With the amount of black women who do this same thing why are we so quick to gang up on Kim? We have the Niki Minaj’s, Rhianna’s, Deelishis’ and every video vixen or reality star doing the same mess. Why are we so quick to bash Kim but not those women for doing g the same stuff? Spare me. Like I said before people just choose and love to hate this woman.

  • january lee

    i think what is meant is: there is a time for everything. and there is a time to grow up. What people see here is a grown woman acting like a sixteen year old insecure girl posting pictures of her body to validate her. She’s just a human, though so this is understandable. She just needs to stop relying on other people to boost her confidence and shift that attention to her new family.

  • janae

    Why are you BLACK women featuring Kim Kardashian on a black women’s blog? You keep her relevant. So obsessed with her. A damn shame. I am disappointed in my sisters.

  • provokethought

    I give it to those women who can “bounce back”; I am not mad at them. Ms. Kim K however maybe choosing to show herself in this way because her body and sex was all that she has to keep her career going. She may want to try develop a real talent and then she may be less likely to rely on her body and looks alone.

  • Concerned Reader

    Why is this fake butt woman on a black woman’s site? Who ARE you, MadamNoire? I know already, by the way, I’m just letting your readers know that your mission statement is a farce.

  • ok

    I think shes just really insecure

  • I don’t think her child is going to see a photo of her in a bathing suit
    and think anything. They live in California and have a pool at their
    house. She’ll see her in a bathing suit all the time. I don’t really see
    the problem. I do not have much knowledge in this area, but I really find the information given article is quite interesting, useful.

  • Herm Cain

    Kim k makes black women to insecure it’s amazing how on the Internet all you women are virtuous married with degrees in real life most sisters I see are overweight belligerent and irrational with a couple kids now the same ones hollering don’t judge me are knocking Kim for a pic when I see regular chicks doing worse on instagram

    • bluekissess

      Your ignorance makes me want to puke. Keep the black woman bashing to a minimum smh

    • M

      White and Hispanic women can’t stand Kim too idiot! Have you looked on Facebook, they talk ish about Kim more than we do so STFU!

    • Concerned Reader

      Let me tell you what is really going on. The fact is that white women were terribly jealous and insecure for years since they first saw black women. They were madly jealous of their shapely figures, because all white women had were pancake butts and too-early wrinkly skin. This is why the media (white women) push this fake butt woman, J Lo and A Jolie so much and ignored black women. They were waiting for the day when they could say: we are superior because we have butts. Pathetic, I know but proven to be true when one looks at your comment. I purposely come on these boards to comments such as yours. You directly or indirectly address black women’s beautiful figures because you were dying for this day. This bothered you for years and kept you from sleeping at night. You concocted this miserable inadequate revenge plan. I know it is difficult when your race is known for pancake butts (when you claimed superi*rity), but you have to realise….
      This Kim business is not just about her, everyone knows. It is about your agenda. However, you MUST understand that all lies come to an end. Remember Lance Armstrong. Kim’s butt is fake and you are trying to convince the world that it is real, that you are superior. Well remember that her downfall will be your downfall, and a tragic reveal of closet white supr*macy.
      Google to see the race of women with the most plastic surgery. That is your answer of who is insecure, and it’s not black women, idi*t.

  • FromUR2UB

    I was only struck by the fact that it’s a picture of her taking a selfie. Definitely a ramping up on the narcissism.

  • nani

    does anybody else notice she is not showing her stomach

    • IAJS

      Women notice because we know better, we know about the angles. Guys do not care.

  • Rosemary Davis

    I see the comment that I made earlier regarding this article has been deleted when the truth is spoken, those who write for Madamenorie choose the comments that they want shown in particular if the comments are directed toward those who write and contribute to articles that are nonsense and have no substance my suggestion to you is find writters that have something meanifull too contribute to society something that actually affect us as black people and not ask us what we think about Kim Kardashian a person who cares soley about herself and not others and if you delete this than you are not open to constructive criticism.

    • bluekissess

      FYI your not the only one who gets deleted. My comments get deleted all the time. It kinda damages freedom of speech. I have yet to read a terms and conditions page on what we can and cannot say. But, out of curiosity what would you like to read? What do you think is meaningful to society? I think the black woman needs more than an article to meaningful. In my opinion is think the black woman is lost and broken. We get talk about from our black men. It’s sad. But, I completely understand your frustration

      • IMJSANYUmad

        u 2 stfu

        • bluekissess

          Trolls come out at night smh

      • Rosemary Davis

        Well I think there are many things that MadameNoire could write and focus on that would benefit not just black people but people from all races,this world is filled with violence,drugs, no jobs, the homeless,people facing all kinds of medical issues with no insurance, teen pregnancy,gangs, single mothers trying too raise children alone, single fathers trying to raise children alone, children’s who have parents that are incarcerated being raised by other family members raped victims there are a variety of issues that are plaguing today’s society in particular black people these are things that should and must be talked about and yet somehow this magazine thinks that we should voice our opinion on Kim Kardashian and wheather we think that she is a good mother or not.Kim Kardashian could care less about what others are experiencing because she is too wrap up in herself so why should be concern or care about her Mother-Hood

    • IMJSANYUmad

      shut up smut

    • mac

      welcome to MN. They leave troll comments and spammers on here, but type something they disagree with? Nah, can’t have that.

      Delete the comments of the people that actually click on your articles and give you hits….sounds like good business to me.

      *waves at the moderator reading this*

  • doreen lwanga

    It this bull….YES! It does matter….even if it is that one picture! Since becoming a mother, my first priority has become MY SON…that he eats, dresses, sleeps, plays, smiles, poops, anything…and all healthy! I would not like him, in future to see pictures of me as a compromising mother….You have heard kids of “RHWs of Jersey”…coming home to tell their mothers that they get teased at school, because of the way their mothers act on TV… and they do not like it….Quite frankly, that pic of Kim was in poor taste…Yes! she is a media opportunist…but I was kinda surprised…because, I was actually pleasantly surprised that she allowed us to watch as she ballooned during pregnancy…and she allowed us to see her big and unsexly FAT…then she has a baby and lets her breasts hung ugly in unflattering dresses (do not care how expensive they are)….Yes! I know there are cultures where women do not wear bras and their breasts sag….but she is NOT from that culture…and now takes such a pic…for the sake of her child…and I am sure even Anna Nicole Smith would have cared a little that her child does not take after her…Or maybe not….The first year of my son, I did not care about losing weight in a week or day. My concern was to have enough breast milk…so, I ate al that could bring more milk…I am physically active….I knew that would happen when the time was nigh…Of course I dressed good…but I was not obsessed with shedding weight in a day…or flaunting my ars%

    • IMJSANYUmad

      quit lyin u still a ho

      • Doreen Lwanga

        Oh! I did not realize this forum was used for abusive language against others…I was under the impression it is a clean place for sensible discussions….you can surely disagree with me without using derogation. that’s all ..DL

        • bluekissess

          It’s always one who calls names and bashes women

  • maap

    First of all, would Kim Kardashian or her family even be an issue if her father hadn’t been OJ Simpson’s lawyer? She invited herself into our lives, and so people can comment on anything she does because she puts it out there. It’s apparent that she has some insecurities but then who doesn’t? Her image is magnified because she wants it to be. Does all this make her a bad mother? Time will tell. Let’s hope her shallowness will not be passed onto her child but that remains to be seen. I just don’t understand the fascination….what is her purpose? What does she stand for? Why do people even care?

    • IMJSANYUmad

      hatin mut right here

    • Tru Words&Wisdom

      I agree 100%, she is a sad, thirsty individual…No one would care if it wasn’t for her Father and of course sleeping her way into infamy. They should all just vanish….It is my hope that I can turn on the tv or open a mag without seeing their faces or knowing about their trivial existence. This is where we are in the world, nothing really matters, not thought or character or morality.
      Be the person you want your children to become or admire. Would you want your child to take obscene pictures of themselves??
      I can’t speak to her parenting skills but I hope they get a good stable nanny just in case.

      Can we focus on women with substance who matter and contribute to the world MN, what is with these silly topics?

  • Guest

    #1 I’m still trying to figure out why the Kardashian’s are such a frequent topic on a blog that’s supposed to be for black women!!!
    # 2 Who cares what this chic does? Really compared to the trouble of the world today, why does she even merit conversing about!!
    #3 Last but not least, why are people even surprised when people constantly show us who they are by their actions. Kim Kardashian, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, etc. These women constantly show the lack of class and grace that they have. They will do anything for attention and to remain relevant, so can we just declare their 15 minutes of fame up. Remember when everything Paris Hilton did was news? Just saying!!!!

    • coolyfett

      Thats a really great question. Kim KardasXXX pops up on A LOT of black women focused blogs and sites. Its interesting King and Smooth magazine didnt even give her that much playing time.

  • staygolden

    I don’t know and I don’t care about how goo of a mom KK is. Why are people worried about this, and how can you judge it by a photo?

  • Melody Carroll

    she a hot mess who cares about her she not cute anymore to many surgeries

    • IMJSANYUmad

      lol…. you a straight hater LOSER

  • Dawn Levesque

    I dont think shes been a mom long enough to know yet, good or bad

  • Natasha1981

    As a mother yes I still can be s3xy, but classy at the same time. I can be s3xy for my husband and only my husband, but carry myself with class when I’m at work and are around my children. My husband and I want our kids to look at us as role models in a positive light.

    • Rosemary Davis

      Good for you Natasha

    • IMJSANYUmad

      u prolly cheat on ya husband mut

      • Natasha1981

        If you were my husband I would cheat on you because you’re such an immature, trolling a**hole. At least my husband is more mature enough to go troll on the internet.

        • IMJSANYUmad

          conclusion… you a ho

  • Marina Calis

    I don’t think posting an instagram picture of yourself is something a good mother does…Imagine years from now when your child see’s this….too much social media addicts.

    • Rosemary Davis

      When North grows she will be ridicule endlessly by her peers for the things that Kim and Kanye say and do now it all will come back to eat their child alive mentally and emotional but right now neither one of them is thinking about the long term effects of their behavior because they both live in the present not concerned about the future except for money

      • staygolden

        We live in time now where these thing will (possibly) still be around in 20 years, but are her peers really going to care that much? They’re growing up in the same ‘info age’ and I bet their parents have instagrams too. I don’t understand why people are pressed about this.

        • Tru Words&Wisdom

          Kids are ruthless and mean….as much as we see them as angels the reality is she will be teased mercilessly about her Mother (Sex tape) and her Father (rants and wild behavior)…..I’m sure their parents have instagram and twitter etc BUT How many of their parents have sex tapes and have become famous because of them???? It could start as innocently as a Mother of a child in her class saying DON’T play with or talk to that West girl!!!! WHY? The child will ask…and BOOM: welcome to ridicule!

          • staygolden

            I disagree with. A more likely scenario is that she’ll be the most popular kid in her school because she’ll have the freshest clothes and her parents are probably the most famous of everyone in her class (because she’s obviously not going to attend a regular school she’ll be in an expensive private school with small class sizes and children with couth). I doubt Hugh Hefners children (with playmates) are ‘teased mercilessly’. It takes all kinds and HolllyWEIRD has every single kind of them. Doubt North will be the only kid with a parent who has a sex tape. Or whose father is a ranting genius.
            Everybody gets teased an you can tease a person for anything. As much as I hate that you’re making me defend KK, she can’t live her life based off maybe her kid one day might get teased by some people they don’t know.

            • Tru Words&Wisdom

              I apologize for putting you in this precarious situation however I disagree with you. Yes, there is no doubt that she will attend a private school BUT are you telling me that children in private schools aren’t mean, rude, obnoxious, insulting and that they don’t bully one another??
              New money vs. Old money? Ever heard of that battle, where the generational rich see the new wealth as nothing. I doubt the Winthorpe’s and Hunters will be so open. UNLESS there is a Private school where ALL the children come from rather “ratchet” parents! Ex. might be a bit silly but uhm remember Gossip Girl? They weren’t singing hymns and sharing soda pops. What school would she be going to exactly a brothel? How many celebs have shoved their tapes down our throats and have become celebs because of it? No matter where you go or how much you have, there is always a class system.
              I went to private school (mix of Ministers children, Vice President, top CEO’s, etc) I know the dynamics and how the upper echelons of society acts without parental eyes. It’s reality Ms. Golden…..
              Anyway it doesn’t matter, we both don’t care about these people let’s just say we agree to disagree.

              • staygolden

                Ugh, I wrote a reply and it got erased or something…
                No need to apologize for disagreeing, as long as we can both speak to each other respectfully I have no problem.
                I also attended a school with very similar credentials, on scholarship, and I was never bullied, but I was never invited to the homes of wealthier students, even ones with whom I was ‘cool’. The rich use ‘shade’ before bullying.
                Again, they live in California. Schools (and life in general..) are different there. They can go to a private school that isn’t puritanical or Old Money. Remember that school Will and Jada had for a second? That’s more their speed, I think, than a plaid uniform type Catholic school.
                And bullies bully people who cave to them. With a dad like KW i’m sure North will be self assured enough to not be too bothered by bullies. She’s the greatest baby OF ALL TIME after all.
                And you are right this does not matter! lol

    • staygolden

      I don’t think her child is going to see a photo of her in a bathing suit and think anything. They live in California and have a pool at their house. She’ll see her in a bathing suit all the time. I don’t really see the problem.

      • Rosemary Davis

        It’s one thing to be in a bathing suit and then posing provacitively with half of your butt and breast out for the whole world too see big diffrence

        • staygolden

          Yea it is different. Im saying her daughter most likely isn’t going to grow up feeling some type of way about it.

  • D.D

    People just want to hate her. She could out being a saint and they would have something to say she can do no right in alot of peoples minds. That is pretty much it. I am not a fan of hers but I am not obsessed with disliking her either, She wants to look good and still be attractive after having a baby MANY women want that and take pictures like this or with a sports bra and short shorts on or a bikini….yet nobody calls them out why are the giving her such a hard time. Because they just do not like her they want to hate her even if there is nothing to hate. There is nothing wrong with this picture is just like the many picture I could easily pull up of moms who work out and are proud or diet and are happy with the results. The real issue is that it is her in the picture.

    • Rosemary Davis

      Do these pictures that you pull up of these Moms do they show all of their butt and breasts and are they selfies and put on display for all the world too see like social media

      • D.D

        Yes they lots of them do in bikini’s and the tightest skimpiest workout cloths sold. I have seen moms in bikinis that cover WAY less then what she has on in this picture. And this in in fitness groups on social media where women show of and talk about progress to support other women. One I follow is on Facebook and instagram and I have seen many a skimpily clad mother. She is not the only mom out here showing off lost baby weight there are MANY more. Just go on instagram or facebook especially fitness groups I see women with kids on there in their 40s showing off their butt and abs and breast and anything else in a bikini, or short shorts and a small sports bra and they are a D cup. But all people say to the is WOW you look so good that is amazing. She does it and it is like why are you doing that that is my point. There is nothing wrong with the female body and showing off hard work those women should be proud they work out and eat right instead of making a bunch of excuses as to why they can’t. But why can they show off but she can’t? Why is it ok for those women but not her?

  • Courtney Banks

    Taking pictures is harmless. A woman shouldn’t be shamed for flaunting her sexuality. The ONLY problem I have are the spineless black man who would degrade and talk down to the countless number of authentic black woman in similar situations but give praises to a woman who got p!ssed on for the world to see.

  • Kellz Gaming

    This photo is no different from any other female who takes photos of themselves after they had a baby and worked out to get fit again only to take a photo means she has accomplished something. What is Kim suppose to do cut her hair, put on some glasses and sit in a rocking chair??

    • mac

      This post is disingenuous at best. This wasn’t a proud post-pregnancy body pic, it was an a** shot for crying out loud.

      • IMJSANYUmad

        stfu loser

    • ….

      Women take a picture of their newly toned abs and slimmed down figure after having a baby. Kim K took a picture of her a**. But do continue with your flawed logic.

      • Tru Words&Wisdom

        Tia (Tia & Tamera) took a beautiful picture of herself after she lost weight, you can see her arms and abs and say wow she looks great and she has worked hard for her figure, that was tasteful and classy, this is just as trashy as KK normally is. There is a huge difference between this and what most sane, self respecting women do!

    • Keepitclassynotassey

      I know I wouldn’t want my mom taking a zz picks and putting them on the internet. I know she’s not married, but she could think about her man and her child before showing the world she’s still thirsting for attention.

      • coolyfett

        KK still is actually married though.

  • nina

    I don’t get what the big deal is about this picture folks be blowing it out of proportion. I see nothing diff with this picture and bikini or bathing suit shots that regular moms post on social media while having fun on the beach with the little ones. Before she was a mom she was Kim and will always be Kim people need to deal with it she has a banging body and who am I to judge if she wants to show it off Kanye aint complaining..

    • Rosemary Davis

      What is a regular Mom and do these regular moms at least those that respect and have dignity for themselves and others do they post pictures of their butts and breast hanging out on social media for the world too see???

    • doreen lwanga

      I must say…I am a nudist…though I have never been to nudist only beach or island….and I really careless about cultures where folks run around with parts or whole bodies exposed…Or the Brazilian beaches…I am comfortable with that..I am also comfortable with women and mothers sharing pics of themselves on the beach in bikinis…The difference I see with this pic is this entire obsession with “the body” and “sex appeal”…she is standing in her bedroom or somewhere in the house….not fully dressed…as we all do…takes a picture…and feels that she should share it wiht ALL of us to seek our approval…that’s the difference…and that’s what is different from women on the beach and sharing pics…they are posting their time…in any case…unlike those other mothers you site…Kim keeps seeking approval from us, her lil sisters and so….we read this different

  • Tiffany Shaw

    The fact of the matter is Kim K can’t win or lose with some people. They just will not like her no matter what she does. She could become an all around saint and miserable people would still have something negative to say about her. I’m not a fan, but I’m not a hater. The woman is just being herself and doing whatever comes natural to her. This picture is no indication of what kind of mother or person she is so folks really need to just calm down.

    • IMJSANYUmad


    • Barbara Codner


  • Let It Be

    I think a lot of moms want people to see that they still have “it”. People do tend to treat you differently when you have a baby; sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s in a bad way. I think in Kims case, she is still trying to keep her “brand”, whatever that is, alive. Are there insecurities? Absolutely! She has an image she wants to keep up though.

    • doreen lwanga

      I do not know if, “a lot of moms want people to see that they still have “it”…OR that they want to still feel like they have themselves together. I tend to subscribe to the latter….I cared so much more how I felt….than how people saw me…because if I cared more about the public…then I would probably never have allowed myself to put on weight for a whole year…because I was eating to have breastmilk….my concern was making sure my baby is doing good…comfortable…and growing good….very little about what others saw of me

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  • bluekissess

    Where in that picture does it say if she’s a good mom or not? If people can predict that then please take your show on the road so I can see the act. Honestly, I feel bad for her. A thirty something year old woman still wants approval, still begs for likes and still wants acceptance. She’s living a contradictory life she needs to figure it out.

    • mac

      My sentiments exactly. The issue isn’t necessarily that she’s a mother.
      It’s the fact that a woman of her age and at this place in life still feels so unfulfilled and desperate for attention and sexual validation.

      Many say having a baby changes you. This picture shows she is who we thought she was.

    • Poor Nori… :'( <3

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