He Wants That Ill Na Na: 5 Signs He Is Using You For Sex

October 7, 2013  |  


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From YourTango

We have all dealt with this at some point in our relationships with men, so I am going to break it down for you on the signs he is just using you for sex and doesn’t want a relationship with you. Some of the signs are easy to overlook, but in all honesty you shouldn’t overlook his actions. His words mean nothing unless he shows it to you as well.

1. He only comes late at night. Now, I know sometimes men will come over after their bar hopping, but if he is only making that house call when he is drinking and it is late at night you should know he isn’t interested in anything else but a sexual relationship.

2. He always cancels plans with you. You are looking forward to hanging out with him and as soon as you are supposed to be ready to see him, he sends you a text saying he has to cancel. You are worth having someone show up on time and actually stick to their word! Do not make excuses for him constantly canceling!

3. He never takes you out in public. If you are wanting to date this man he should be taking you out! No excuses! If you two never leave your house or his house you need to start asking yourself why that is?

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  • chanela

    what if you’re the type of person that like to chill at home with a netflix movie instead of going out?

  • HoobertHerver

    I had a situation like that. And yes, I WAS using her “just for sex!” WHAT’S WRONG WIIDDAT?? Huh?? Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Say Say

    by the time you get to see a pattern of this behavior, you’re already in too deep. Be smarter ladies. Make it a standard that these dudes take you out once or twice at least. Men are dogs that need to be trained, if you give them treats too early they’ll never learn new tricks or try.

    • maximilion

      Haha I got to agree with you,men need to be shown-you as the women have the goods,if your going to share it you need to let him work for it,as a women you set the tone for the relationship,give it up too freely,he doesn’t need to make an effort.

  • Miss D

    Chile. My ex-boyfriend did every single thing on this list and it took me months to realize that I was being used. It’s hard to find someone, but do NOT settle for someone who treats you this way. A user will often say ‘I’ll do better’ or ‘Give me time’, but he will never do better and he will never get his act together. The reason? He doesn’t want a relationship! These people are selfish, master manipulators. Run for your life!

  • I don’t know where the confusion lies. No matter what he says or does if it isn’t meeting your needs then why allow it? If its not serving you then quit it. Some women are capable of liking a man and spending time with him although he doesn’t want a commitment she’s cool getting whatever it is he’s offering. If you’re that type of woman more power to you, if you’re not then move on and keep yourself available to men who place you in their potential girlfriend bucket. Once you’re in the jump/off bootycall bucket its next to impossible to get out.

  • GirlSixx

    [“His Words AND Actions should both align” ]
    For the remainder of 2013 and going forward.. This should be the New Motto.
    I read on blog sites where men have admittedly said they told a woman they didn’t want anything with her (relationship wise) but at the same token quality time was spent, hanging out, chatting, dinners and such — things that a BF/GF would do because he initially enjoyed her company so they felt like they did nothing wrong because they told her verbally from jump.
    So if a man’s words and actions don’t align… Watch Out!!! He can do the sweet things that make you go mushy inside because he may just be a generally nice guy but if he told you he’s not interested in anything beyond the physical verbally — RUN..

    • bluekissess

      I agree. All you’d be doing is wasting your time.

    • Lexi

      say that!!!!Smh most women don’t get this!

  • Chloe1st,2nd&3rd.com

    In a perfect world.. YES people should be upfront/honest and clear about their intentions but the world is imperfect so these signs are definitely some good tell tale signs for the most part but I would also add “His Words AND Actions should both align” there are some men who are emotionally unavailable will tell you that they aren’t looking for anything serious but yet they will show certain signs of wanting something serious (doing BF type things) and when a woman falls for him because she watched his actions (he treating her like a GF) while disregarding his words (“I’m not looking for anything serious”) she is devastated when he reminds her exactly what he said or he decides to move on

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    • chanela