It Pays To Be A Woman: Things We Can Get Away With In Public That Men Can’t

October 8, 2013  |  
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People may call us quirky, or a little eccentric, but doing these things will never jeopardize a woman’s reputation as a woman. Men, however, would be ridiculed to no end for trying to pull any of these acts off.

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Being way overdressed

If a woman is wearing a nice dress and heals at a dive bar, the other girls fawn over her outfit, and the men just think she is the hottest one. But should a guy wear anything other than jeans and an old t-shirt to a dive bar—God forbid he wear a fitted blazer and designer jeans—people will ask, “Who does he think he is? Trying to be a baller in a pub? He takes himself way too seriously.”

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Correcting a man

If a woman corrects something a man says, she is praised for speaking up, not being afraid that she’ll intimidate a man with her intelligence and, in general, for being charmingly sassy. If a man corrects a woman, he’s a cocky jerk.

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Being price conscious

A man is supposed to appear not even the least bit conscious of money. If he asks which bottle of wine is less expensive, this screams to a woman, “This guy is not financially stable!” But it’s perfectly acceptable for two women to get into a 10-minute discussion on how to order lunch so they save the most money.

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Not reaching for their wallet

If a woman does reach for her wallet when the bill arrives, she practically gets a medal. But if she doesn’t flinch, nobody notices. But everybody notices the guy who hesitates even for a moment to grab his wallet when a bill arrives.

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Getting aroused

This is just an anatomy issue but, it’s true: women can be extremely turned on in public and nobody’s the wiser.

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Crying

If a woman cries in a bar, every other woman in proximity gathers around her to console and protect her. If a man cries, honestly, he’ll probably get kicked out of the bar for disturbing the other customers. At the very least, people will think he’s strange — and a punk.

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Complaining that someone is harassing them

A woman is allowed and encouraged to tell a bouncer that some guy is harassing her at the bar. If a man does this he instantly loses his status as a “real man.” Men are supposed to take matters into their own hands, even if it could mean getting punched in the face.

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Slapping someone

Anybody who slaps anyone at all needs to attend anger management, but if a woman slaps a man, everyone assumes he did something terrible to deserve it. In fact, sometimes onlookers will applaud. If a man slaps a woman, he has a pile of men on top of him in a second.

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Fixing their hair

Nobody bats an eyelash if a woman stops to look at her reflection in a shop window and adjust her hair. If a man does that, you can bet somebody somewhere is saying, “Ugh, how cocky!”

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Asking the calorie count

Men care just as much about their figures as women do, but they’re expected to be private about it. They’re supposed to eat the nachos and pizza in front of other people, and just hit the gym extremely hard when alone. Women are allowed to be openly conscious of their weight in all settings.

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Being extremely affectionate with everyone

A woman can be a hugger—she can hug her girlfriends and guy friends, kiss them on the cheek, play with their hands—and she’s just considered sweet. If a man behaves like this with his friends he is considered a shameless flirt. Or gay.

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Dancing alone

A woman who dances alone is fearless, liberated, happy, and sexay. A man who does this is creepy, and assumed to be on drugs.

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Going to a concert solo

A woman can go to a concert alone and everyone will admire her loyalty to the band—she likes them so much she went to the show even though none of her friends could come along! A man who attends a concert alone is assumed to just have no friends.

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Yoga

A woman can turn just about any place, from a library-reading nook to a public park to the waiting area at the pharmacy, into a yoga spot. She can start stretching and doing standing tree and nobody really looks twice. If a man does this, it’s assumed he is a huge hippie.

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