What To Do When Your Man Needs Space

5 Comments
October 3, 2013 ‐ By Madame Noire
worried couple

Shutterstock

 

 

From YourTango

Is the man you love acting like a ghost in your relationship?  Maybe he’s even vocalized that he needs space? Perhaps he claims nothing’s wrong, but he just doesn’t return your texts and seems to be a whole lot busier than he was in the early stages of dating?

Before you convince yourself that he has one foot out of the relationship, ask yourself if you truly believe that he is capable ofcommitment and a long-term partnership.  Also ask yourself if you feel, on a gut level, that he truly loves you and wants a relationship with you.  If you feel confident that he is anemotionally available man and is in love with you, then this space could be a good thing.  If you feel doubtful that he has the ability to love, then it is time to say goodbye.

When a man pulls back or carries on like he needs space, it can mean that he is in fact so serious about the relationship that he needs time to assess his feelings and decide whether the relationship is healthy for him long-term.  Men are more in their heads than women and when the thunderbolt of love hits them, they may need to take a step back and look at things more logically.

The key for you is to handle his need for space in a way that’s respectful and dignified.  It’s okay to communicate your feelings (like in a letter) or to ask him questions about what he’s thinking.  But don’t smother him and don’t make him feel guilty and accused.

This doesn’t mean you have to ignore your feelings when he needs space.  It’s important to honor your feelings and to not reward behavior that hurts you by being too flexible.

Avoid Clinging To Him When He Needs Space

When he needs space and you feel really down about it, don’t punish him by withdrawing yourself or accusing him of being emotionally unavailable and beyond, and don’t start to cling.

When a man pulls back, it’s natural to feel like your world is suddenly shaken up.  This feeling can bring up abandonment issues and it can make us panic about losing him.  When we feel panicky and scared, we reach out.  We start to express love and profess devotion, and we apologize for past injustices on our part.  However, this is a form of rewarding bad behavior.

You don’t want to give a man more attention when he needs space; do this when he’s trying to please you and is available to love you.  Sometimes we take those good-behavior moments for granted and it’s important that you don’t.

Read more at YourTango.com 

More from Styleblazer

More from Mommynoire

MadameNoire Video

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Benita Marie Hannah

    Give him his space. He’ll appreciate you for it and you can use that time to maintain your relationship with yourself and with other people like your family and friends. I usually have so much going on that sometimes I hope he does need his space so I don’t feel guilty for not stopping what I’m doing to be with him. Not to imply that I don’t enjoy the time we spend. It kinda keeps it fresh.

  • katie

    I would have to put myself in that situation. If I said that to someone…I wouldn’t expect him to stick around. It’s inconsiderate and selfish to ask someone to stick around while you go through whatever it is your going through.

  • Nope

    Learning how and when to just STFU and also how to give a man space will pull him closer to you.

    • IMJSANYUmad

      NICE

  • Pingback: Milwaukee Community Journal » WISCONSIN'S LARGEST AFRICAN AMERICAN NEWSPAPER » What To Do When Your Man Needs Space()