Signs Your Workplace Crush Has Crossed the Line

October 3, 2013  |  
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Working with the same person for five days a week is sure to spur some pretty close relationships. What starts out as a working relationship can slowly turn into a close friendship which then can eventually turn into a full-blown relationship. When a friendship becomes something more in the workplace, current relationships and the workplace itself can become tense and stressful. Here are 7 signs your workplace crush has crossed the line and 7 ways to nip it in the bud.

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You hide this relationship from your partner

You know a work relationship has crossed the line when you refuse to tell your partner about your coworker. You do everything you can to avoid mentioning this person’s name and when there are work get togethers, you make sure that you and your man cannot attend for some reason or another. When you start hiding things from your spouse, you’ve more than likely crossed the line.


You meet your coworker after work

Once the work day is done and over with, you’ve found that recently you have been spending time with your coworker, for social reasons, instead of going home and spending time with your spouse. Spending time outside of work with a coworker just because is a huge sign that the line between coworker and crush has been crossed. Hanging out alone after work signals you want to make your business much more personal.


You’re flirting outside of work

Let’s face it, sometimes flirting at work just happens, but usually the flirting stays in the office. If you and your coworker are texting and having flirtatious phone calls, this crush is far from being harmless anymore. When flirting is brought outside of the office, it’s taken to an entirely new level. When you’re borderline sexting and calling each other pet names, things could get messy quickly.


You’ve started daydreaming about your coworker

When you start daydreaming about your coworker, this is a huge sign that things could cross the line soon. If you’re already in a committed relationship but you’ve found yourself daydreaming and thinking about your crush, there is some true soul searching to be done. Daydreaming about someone other than your man or your spouse can definitely pose a big issue — like you trying to make those fantasies a reality.


You’ve started complaining about your spouse to your work crush

Maybe life at home with your partner or spouse has been a little rocky. While it’s plenty okay to talk about your home life at work, there’s a fine line that shouldn’t be crossed. If you’re complaining to your work crush that your man is lazy or that things in the bedroom have started to get a bit boring, you’re opening the door for your coworker to walk right in and make himself at home. Complaining about your spouse to your work crush all but allows this relationship to supercede the relationship you have at home, which is problematic, to say the least.


Your other coworkers are asking questions

You know things have become way too obvious when your coworkers are talking behind your back and asking questions about you and your other coworker’s relationship. It’s obvious that the relationship has gone a bit too far when others are noticing that things just don’t seem right. It becomes even harder to squash rumors and talk within the office when you two are obviously crossing the line.


Your boss is asking questions

Aside from your coworkers asking and talking about whether or not you and your other coworker are dating or having a fling, things can become even more stressful and awkward when your boss pulls you aside to ask about the relationship you and so-and-so are having. When you boss has noticed that things seem a bit out of place and maybe a bit too flirtatious, it’s definitely time to cut things off completely, or tone them back down again — lest you want to find yourself unemployed.

To nip this in the bud…


Test yourself

If you still think that you’re innocent in all of this, take a second to test yourself. Even though you have a man at home, ask yourself, if you were single, would this coworker be the type of man that you’d try to date? If the answer is yes, you need to keep your distance.


Be serious about it

Don’t go into work one day acting like you’re interested in your coworker and then for the next week pretend he doesn’t exist. If you really want to tone down this relationship to something more acceptable, you’ll really have to be serious about it. Don’t commit to it for one or two days and then revert back to how things originally were.


Stop having lunch together

More than likely you go out to lunch to eat with your coworker, and even though it’s nice to be able to have conversation while eating, find someone else to go to lunch with, or start enjoying lunch by yourself. Having lunch with your workplace crush will only continue to add fuel to the fire. Now is the time to start back pedaling.


Leave your door open at all times

One of the best ways to show your coworker that you’re looking to make things a little less private is to keep your office door open. When your office door is open, there is less chance of your crush walking in and closing it, which then puts you two in a place of privacy, which you want to avoid. It’s hard to be flirtatious out in the open, if you have common work sense.


Delete his contact information

One good way to cut back on the amount of contact you and your work crush have is to delete all of his contact info. If he gave you his cell phone number or his personal email, delete it. If he tries to contact you outside of work, ignore his advances. Make him see that you’re only interested in work-based conversations from now on.


Avoid being alone with him

Alone time with your work crush will rarely bring about anything good. If you’re serious about nipping this in the bud and back pedaling, you’ll have to make a conscious effort to avoid having alone time with this coworker. Meet in the lobby or in someone else’s office so that you’re at least in a public location, as opposed to your office or his. This will probably keep flirting to minimum.


Have a heart to heart with your crush

If you really want to have things go back to normal and remove the flirtation from the relationship with your coworker, one thing you’ll really want to do is to have a heart to heart with him. Sit down and explain what you think and how you feel, and explain that your relationship at home is much more important to you. Let it all out and make your wants and needs known.

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