True Life: I Asked Him Out…

September 20, 2013  |  

It’s a classic debate. Grab the bull by the horns and go for what you want or let a man be a man and wait for him to show his interest and ask you to go out on a date. It’s a tricky one. We asked our readers if they’d ever asked a man out. And for most of the respondents it turned out pretty well…like marriage and babies well. See what they had to say in the stories below.

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Gabrettee: Yep. Turned down once. Still good friends with the other.

Latoya: I have. He was cool with it cause he was like I never had a woman take me out on a date. Told him u been messing with the wrong woman. Lol I like to make him feel appreciated

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Geralda: Nope,, I’m way too shy

Gabie: I asked my hubs out 8 yrs ago. Best decision ever!

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Syreeta: Few times and they all turned out with no’s hell I did it last week. I’m done lol

Yolanda: A few times (never on the first or second date though) and they all turned out to be good dates. Men like to be courted a little and feel appreciated too.

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Erinn: I won’t do it again:(..I’ve learned my lesson..if he wants to take me out…ASK:)!!!..

Gina: Yep. He told me he was waiting for me to make the first move. I was even going to pay, but he said no way. We dated for a few months after.

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Jessica: Yes and he turned me down, but I knew that just part of life. Won’t stop my pride.

Faren: Yep it went well. Women need not to be scared to try something new. Might get better results

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Denetta: Not only have I done that and it went well, but I proposed to my husband and we’ve been married 12 years!!

Nakesha: Yes and he said Yes and the date was great! Still seeing him and that was 2 months ago…

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Teresa: Yes, and we are still together twenty years later:-) you have to go after what you want in life.

April: Yes, we dated and it is a relationship I regret, so never again.

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Melissa: I have…he was pretty cool about it like it wasn’t no big deal…we dated for a while & then I broke it off because he wasn’t relationship material…when he wanted to be relationship material I had moved on.

Zoe: Yes I did it was my freshman year in college and I had a small crush I figure if it was fun date it would work better … So we went to six flags … 8 years later we are still together and engaged

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Tonya: Of course, and we’re married now!!! What?! Was I supposed to wait on him?!! Ain’t nobody got time for that!!! Lol!

Barbara: Yes and he said no because he just got out of a relationship. My feelings were so hurt!

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Asmithe: Yep. Asked him on a date. He asked me to his girlfriend, then his fiancé, then his wife and now we have a 10 month old son that would’ve never been here if I was scary. My dad always told me if you want it–sitting around ain’t gonna help!

Danyelle: Nope but I paid for the dates that I was asked out on for a good little minute with this one dude. SMH… I was young and dumb. He was cute tho or was it just… lol. You live. You learn. You laugh.

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Holly: Yes and it didn’t work out. My experience is men don’t like to be pursued . It’s all about the challenge with a man & by you asking him out there goes that challenge right out the door and down the street !

Monica: Not only did I ask him out on a date but 3 years later I asked him to marry me and been married 7 years now!

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Danielle: Yes…it went well, but later on in the relationship he took that as weakness and felt as though I “needed” and “wanted” him and would do anything to keep him. So I don’t know if I would do it again.

Lynetta: I did. It wasn’t much of a date though. I asked him over to my house for a movie (we talked for months before we met face to face). December will be 4 years of us being together.

Trice: Absolutely…he was fascinated and honored…yes I would do it if it’s something I want…lol

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  • SamyyCiao

    Every Day more and more black women of every age, size, skin tone – but generally college educated and have a job are dating whtie men and having greeat times with them – I see this everywhere in the US as my job takes me to many cities including the the South.

  • QueenNTheMaking

    *Tears* at Syreeta’s comment!! LMAO…i respect your bravery though lol…”dust yaself off and try again”

  • Kristen

    I see nothing wrong in women making the first move.

    But every time I asked a guy out it never went anywhere! I wont be asking for a while, but I’ll never say never.

  • Sheena B

    When I was dating I asked a couple of guys. They seemed very interested but hesitant to pull the trigger. I used to kind of give off that tough girl, not in the mood to be bothered, vibe so that was the reason. They were good guys too and I’m glad I asked. I learned a lot about men and relationships from them.

  • Tonyoardee

    More women should try this, that waiting for him to make a move when YOU want him is childish

  • Nope

    I think a good mentality to have is like going to a job interview. You don’t go in to a job interview with the premise of being guaranteed the job, just that you have a shot and hope to get it. And if you don’t get the job, that doesn’t stop you from applying elsewhere. Have the same mentality when approaching a dude.

  • Lisa

    I don’t and won’t ask. Guys in my are sort of lazy and want women to do all the work. Ask, pay, initiate. Where does the manliness come in, in situations like this. I friend zone guys that can’t ask, won’t ask, sort of means they don’t want you bad enough.

    • Nope

      “Guys in my are sort of lazy and want women to do all the work. Ask, pay, initiate.”

      I don’t know what planet you’re on, but 95% of the time men are the very ones doing this. Don’t make exceptions the rule.

  • Jessica

    I don’t and the time I thought I did which happens to be the man I’m dating now, started when he asked for my number then contacted me first. If the man ask for my number or acts interested in me I may say “when you taking me out.” You know sometimes men need alittle push.

    • meeeee

      wise one,cos it sound like a mutual tin dat u also like her

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  • cryssi

    It seems like a 50/50 toss up

    • Nope

      Of course. But most women are soooo terrified of rejection, that other 50% is too high a risk to them. They only like a 100% scenario, which isn’t the case for men or women.

      It’s a shame that most women will go after a handbag or pair of shoes way harder than they will a man they’re interested in that could actually be meaningful in their life.