Ask A Very Smart Brotha: “Am I D!ck Whooped, He Does Have A Monster?”

September 18, 2013  |  

Trena: Why do men feel the need to use woman especially good women who hold them down during the bad times and then when they get back on their feet they leave
DY: Some men are assholes, Wish I had a deeper answer for that, but it’s pretty much it.

Danielle: If a woman had an issue about another female friend in her man’s life (rightfully so because of previous events excluding infidelity) and expresses how she feels to him and he gets defensive. Is she wrong for being annoyed?
DY: No, she’s not. But, you have to ask why she’s staying in a relationship with someone who she doesn’t trust

Erica: How do you make sure that you’re not in a placeholder relationship?
DY: The best indicator is whether he has made concrete plans for the future with you. Men in placeholder relationships usually won’t commit to doing anything with you that isn’t more than a couple months away

Ebone: As me being a proud woman of color, this is hard to say. I have 4 wonderful men in my life. 1 my handsome man, 3 wonderful lil kings. How do I get over the hurt from the man that created me so I don’t become an Angry black woman.
DY: I’m glad to hear that you’ve been able to move past your issues with your father and have good relationships with your man and your sons. That said, if your feelings about your dad are still that strong after all these years, I’d suggest that you seek some form of therapy.

Joan: After getting caught cheating why do men think saying sorry will fix it?
DY: Because it does, sometimes. Maybe it doesn’t “fix” things, but it’s enough for some women to let them back.

Tameka: Honestly I’ve moved on from my previous relationship … half my life I was with him … turning 40 and falling in love with trust is what I want … thank you for your help.
DY: Having some trust issues is understandable, especially after getting out of a marriage that lasted for almost two decades. That said, there’s really no easy fix to that. Whether (and when) you decide to trust again is something that has to come from within. But, rest assured, you won’t be able to really move forward unless you do.

Raven: My bf told me I was the “love of his life” but he has been pretty distant lately? Was it too much too soon for him? I know he has a lot of things going on in his life right now (kids- his, bills, and home repairs). Is it the stress?
DY: You should be asking him that, not me.

Zakiyyah: I am a 33 year old woman that’s dating a 21 year old man and we have only known each other 11days and he is living with me. Yes he has a job but his 60 something year old Mama hates it. She was cool for the first 7 days then tripped out. She calls him tell him she will leave him alone and he has abandonment issues cuz she is really his Auntie. I’m confused do I really like him or am I dick whooped cuz he do have a monster give me some advice.
DY: You need to slow down. And by “slow down” I mean “slow the hell down, tell your boyfriend he needs a place of his own, and remember that the only title you should give someone you’ve only known for 11 days is “human.”

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