Men Can Like Trans Women And Choose Their Own Sexual Identity

25 Comments
September 23, 2013 ‐ By Deron Dalton
DJ Mister Cee

Source: YouTube

Is he or isn’t he? That’s the lingering question about DJ Mister Cee’s sexuality. A question I’d answered myself before his PSA where he opened up about his sexuality. I originally concluded, “he’s gay” before re-thinking the complexity of his sexual orientation, and the sexuality and gender of his sexual encounters. Mister Cee’s recent media attention should open up discussion about accurately and respectfully talking about sexuality instead of prompting us to quickly (or incorrectly) label and shame.  We should be talking about the politically-correct language and identities to use for trans women who ARE women and the men interested in them. Ultimately, men who look like women vs. transsexuals can differentiate how men — like Mister Cee — identify their sexuality.

We’re human and we tend to lump each other into sexual categories (like we do race, class and everything else). I jumped to the conclusion that Mister Cee’s gay before he official identified as LGBT because of my distaste for gay men in denial who put on straight personas and then, have sex with other men on the low. In the process, these men hurt the women and families who love them by not being honest about who they are. It’s hard coming out especially as men of color. I know, I’ve been there, and I’ve written about both the unfair down-low stigma and coming out as a young black man. But it absolutely should be done — being honest about who you are to yourself first and foremost.

Nevertheless after forcefully coming out to the world, there’s more complexity to Mister Cee’s story and men with stories like his. He said he’s had oral sex with men who look like women, but wait… do they identify as trans women? Before recently, he could have been questioning his sexuality. Also, he claims to be attracted to women. And claimed not to be gay before his PSA identifying him as LGBT. There’s no official word if all of his sexual encounters identify as men who look like women or cross-dressing drag queens who are usually gay men. Therefore, he could identify as bisexual or gay, but he could simply be a man who’s also attracted to trans women or trans people born male transitioning into their womanhood. And I ask, what the hell is wrong with that…besides the fact, he’s married with kids? There should’ve been a point earlier in his life when he could have been honest with himself. He acknowledged in Hip-Hop culture (and in the black community) in which he’s immersed, being LGBT is not cool, and there’s a fear to come out.

All of this adds another level of complexity. Gay men in drag are completely different from trans women. Bimbo Winehouse, who recently exposed Mister Cee, was technically dressed as a woman, but there’s no official word if he identifies as a trans woman. Then again, Winehouse identified as cross-dressing drag queen in his video.

Let’s review Mister Cee’s history with soliciting sex. In an interview with Hot 97 earlier this year, Mister Cee said, “Yes, I do like prostitutes. I have engaged a lot with prostitutes in my life many times. Same with strippers. I’ve tricked on them many times… I don’t have an addiction to prostitutes. I have an addiction to instant gratification. I need help. I been dealing with it and trying to deal with it for the last 10-12 years.” He was arrested in May for allegedly soliciting a male prostitute in Brooklyn’s Bushwick neighborhood. This after he pleaded guilty to a prostitution offense in 2011.

But once again, Mister Cee prostitution scandals weren’t over. Recently, he was exposed by Winehouse in a video that shows Winehouse dressed as a woman and Mister Cee driving around and negotiating a price. Winehouse has been called everything ranging from cross-dresser, drag queen, gay man, transsexual and trans woman. And although Winehouse is identified as a drag queen in the video, we should be careful about how we talk about sexuality and gender. It’s time to properly define these different identifies and highlight we’re not sure which identity Mister Cee specifically falls under just yet and which categories all of his sexual encounters fall in.

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  • Lisa

    all I know is that dude better reveal that info to women that they want to sleep with.

    trans women are not real bishes, period

  • sha

    This was a whole lot about nothing. If a man is attracted to an individual that was not born a woman he is gay. Twist, turn, flip it, rub it down and spin it on its axle for eternity and it is what it is. You can change your sexual parts but you cannot change who you where when you exited your mother’s womb – male or female. Those born with both is another conversation. Mr. C is a jokester and his PSA is a joke. He just needs to be OK with being gay and get over it.

  • Rosetta’s Stoned

    Sorry but Transgendered women are men. Lets be clear. Having multiple surgeries and taking hormone meds does not change what’s in your dna. If you are born with X,Y chromosomes, you are in fact MALE. That doesn’t change once you have surgery. Straight men do not want to have relationships with transgendered women. If they want a woman, they would go an find a REAL woman. These so called “straight men” like Mister Cee (who I love as a dj) are men in DENIAL. They do not want to accept the fact that they are attracted to men who have transformed into “women.” I wish people would STOP referring to these transgendered “women” as real women. They are NOT. Unless you are born with a uterus, Fallopian tubes, eggs that contain x chromosomes, a vagina and have a monthly menstrual cycle you are NOT a woman.

  • Maggie

    Leave transgender people out of this. What is the confustion? Mister Cee likes men who obviously look like men underneath the wig or makeup. He states that he pursues what he knows are men. What are the chances of a straight man hittin’ on a woman who looks like a woman but is not, more than once? Come on!

  • Boys will be boys

    The mind can be tricked by the hearts desire if you insist on living the lie. Man and woman’s body has been made significantly different so that there is no mistake in identifying the sex or gender this is fact. Women are born with organs to menstruate and reproduce. Whether they work or not doesn’t change the fact She was born female. You can slice a pie how ever you want to but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s a pie. Calling something that is what it is is not being insensitive it’s being honest and truthful. A man is not designed to nor will ever carry a child because he was not designed to do so therefore he is and always will be a man. This fact is based upon his physical make up that was God given. You can come up with any crafty way to put a play on words to rationalize why a person chooses to sleep with the same sex to make it more acceptable if you want but it doesn’t change the facts. A man will always be a man no matter what you cut off, alter, or dress up to look like otherwise. He is gay if he likes men whether they are altered or not. Not my opinion… Facts.

  • Kaho’olawe

    This man is g*y!

  • Keeping it Real

    His wife should leave him point blank period. I am going to be honest in my opinion. What he is doing is high risk behavior. Sleeping with his wife and having prostitutes give him oral sex. STD written all over it!!! People don’t get that this behavior of extramarital affairs can kill by all the diseases. I was with a man that was undercover, an athlete very masculine etc. Two years into the relationship he told me his secret. He let the men give him oral and much more…. I freaked out and on top of that I got an STD from him. Mr. CEE be honest with yourself, don’t deny who you are attracted too to save face. With all these STDs around you don’t want to get them or pass them on to your partner by hiding your sexual preference because of fear.

  • Alisha Dixon

    I have gone (back and forth) with the idea of whether or not transgender individuals should be categorized as the gender they are born into or the gender they feel they are…I still don’t know what I FEEL about it (and this is with having trans friends and relatives) but I have decided what my issue is with it…

    …it’s not really about the look, the feel or whether you bleed monthly. As women, we are connected through a shared experience of growing up from little girls to women. This not only includes the biological and puberty milestones, but just the everyday ish of being a woman. Guys staring at you, men talking over you, other women hating, etc. Being a woman is not simply about what is between your legs, it’s about how you experience the world and how the world experiences you. My hesitation with transgender people is that they aren’t socailized like that. I may have a transgender friend who identifies as female and that’s fine…but when were talking and telling stories about growing up and getting my hair pressed and my mother’s unwillingness to but black dolls and the itchy tights I had to wear to school…even if I am talking to a woman who did not experience this, she understand because she was a little girl and knows how it goes. If you grow up a little boy, can you understand? I don’t know.

    My point is that “gender” and “sex” are two different things. Sex is what is between your legs and helps people decided which bathroom you should go into. Gender is about socialization…what sex society see’s you as and how they treat you because of it. This is where I feel the transgender experience differs and this is where I feel the real disconnect is. It takes more then surgery to be a woman and any strong woman knows that. I’m all for transgenderism…but it is something “different”

  • anonymous

    Some women, born female, can’t have children. What say you to that? Being able to have a child does not make someone a woman. Everyone here should know the difference between woman and female, also, too, as well, before you begin pontificating about that which you clearly, have no idea. #stepsoffsoapbox

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      The ability to have children doesn’t solely make you a woman but your chromosomes do. Can you decide you don’t want to be (fill in the blank race) because you feel like your something else? I mean really now.

    • Is It 5:00 Yet?

      That’s because of a medical complication, not because they were born with a p e n i s. Big difference.

    • danyall70

      Even biological women incapable of conception are born with ovaries, fallopian tubes, a cervix, a vaginia, a labia, breasts, female chromosomes, etc.,…..not penises. The fact that they can’t concieve, is a medical problem….not a gender one. Transexuals, transgenders will never have ovaries, a vagina, labia, breast, nor cervix…without one being surgically created for them. They will never produce enought estrogen to soften their skin, features and voices…they’ll have to inject estrogen. They’ll have to have laser therapy to rid themselves of the manly hair that they grow. Not trying to be insensitive, but it’s the truth….and vice versa for the women who claim to be men inside a female body. I don’t believe God makes mistakes, we make CHOICES.

  • Liddy

    I have to say that a Tranny is still a man. Like I said they can’t have children or anything to that affect.

  • Envy

    Ok, let him face the truth he is bisexual and if his wife had any since she’d see a lawyer right away. Enough is enough. Go ahead and have that lifestyle and stop putting your wife at risk. One thing leads to another.

  • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

    I don’t want to sound harsh here but let’s stop deluding trannies into thinking one can choose their sex. You cannot because it isn’t a choice. I’m sorry it isn’t. Just because you take hormones and invert your thingy does not make you a woman on this planet or the next. If you are a man who likes to sleep with other men who look like women then you sir are gay. What if someone really and truly believes in their heart that they were born the wrong race and want to be white. If they bleach their skin, straighten their hair, and put in contacts can they then choose to be white? I really believe I’m a billionaire. I mean I’ve always felt it. So I’m going to start taking up a collection . . ..

    • danyall70

      And Cheekee baby, there it is in a NUTSHELL! We can’t choose our ethnicity…even though we may WANT to..I don’t care how you bleach/alter/claim vitiligo or whatever, surgically alter ur natural features, hair implants/extentions, colored contacts…It STILL will not make you what you were not NATURALLY born to be period. Not to be insensitive, but there are all kinds of quacks in the world, if my child said he felt like he was born to be a dog and wanted to bark like a dog and wear a dog collar….I’d believe he was mentally ill…Not encourage others to be tolerant or accepting of the fact that HE truly believes he’s a dog. I call a spade a spade, Mr. Cee and anyother biological man who desires to have sexual relations of any kind with another biological man is a GAY MAN! Stop this damn madness of concocting rules to justify this foolishness…sexuality and sexual orientation ain’t that dang difficult if you accept what you are.

      • sha

        Yaass, yaaas – they must stop the foolishness!!! And I am so sick of this dude and his BS on this matter. So know the hip-hop nation who is already undercover with homosexuality (the brothers that is) now have a PSA to say its ok and your not really gay if your a dude that sleeps with women who used to be dudes. My head is going to explode…..GTFOHWTBS already!!!

      • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

        Amen.

  • IDontCareHowYouFeel

    Transgender women ARE still MEN period! Transgender women will never be able to give birth, thank God science can’t change what God designed.

    • SMHgurl24

      Yea… Not yet

    • Jayy

      You’re ignorant. Didn’t god teach you to love thy neighbor? Transgendered women are women. When did giving birth become a marker of womanhood? I am a woman and I don’t want kids does that make me less if a woman?

      • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

        I dunno don’t you have two x chromosome though? I mean can they take something to change them on a molecular level?

        • Alisha Dixon

          Chromosomes are still male (or whatever they are born with), but I think it’s fair to note that some trans people do have an extra chromosome or broken chromosome which could explain why some trans people ARE trans. If you are XX and your body reads a broken chromosome as XY, then there isn’t really much you can do and your brain is gonna think your XY because that how they read a broken X chromosome. Unfortunately, there are no pills or medical treatment you can do for chromosomes :(

      • Teketa

        Lol it is a marker of womanhood; whether a woman WANTS children or not. By design you CAN give birth.

    • Alisha Dixon

      Not sure if that is a fair standard. Plenty of women born women can’t have babies. They are still women…they just have fertility issues.

      A guy with E.D. is still a guy, right?