“White People Will Hate My Half-Black Child” White, American Mother Gives Bi-Racial Baby Up For Adoption

43 comments
September 17, 2013 ‐ By
American Mother Gives Bi-Racial Baby Up For Adoption

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We all know that racism exists in America. It’s a known fact; but that doesn’t mean it can’t catch us off guard sometimes. Just today, CNN wrote a story about the rise in interracial, international adoptions. Specifically, European parents are adopting African American babies because they are often the last to be adopted in the states. Interracial adoption is always a controversial issue as some think a child growing up with parents of a different race won’t be able to relate to their cultural identity.

But on the flip side, some see interracial adoption as a way for their children to escape the racism that is so prevalent in American society.

Susan (last name withheld) of Florida decided to give her biracial son up for adoption in 2006 because of the racial discrimination she believed he’d face growing up in the United States. When she went to look at the potential families a social worker gave her three binders containing information about prospective parents. After she looked through the first binder she didn’t need to see anymore. The first contained a couple from the Netherlands. Susan felt a connection. “If my mother had lived, she’d look just like (the prospective Dutch mother).” Susan’s mother died when she was two months old.

From CNN

Susan also wanted her son to grow up far away from the life she knew. She was a 30-year-old prostitute addicted to crack beginning a prison sentence when she learned she was pregnant. She did not know whether the child’s father was a man who raped her “for hours” or a drug dealer whom she “had done something with” one time, she said. But both men were African American, and she believed the child would face discrimination growing up in the United States.

White people are going to hate him because he’s half black … black people are going to hate on him because he’s half white
Susan, birth mother who chose a Dutch family

“There’s too much prejudice over here. The white people are going to hate him because he’s half black, and the majority of black people are going to hate on him because he’s half white,” said Susan, who is Caucasian. “And then he’ll have to do extra things to prove what kind of a Negro he is, and extra things to prove what kind of a honky he is and I don’t want that. I did not want that for my kid.”

Even her own daughter, then aged 11, said “she would never accept that n***** child.”

Now, there’s a good chance that Susan just didn’t want to raise a child by the man who raped her or the drug dealer she did something with. Looking into this boys eyes, no doubt, would have been a painful reminder of some of the trauma she’s experienced in her life. It’s completely understandable and actually admirable that she would choose to give him to a family who could love regardless. The fact that she thought enough to pick a woman who would have looked like her mother is also endearing.

What I find very interesting though are Susan’s concerns about race. Judging by Susan’s daughter’s comments, she might be giving this child up because of her own prejudice or full out racism. And if that’s the case, even though it may sound pretty terrible, she still made the right decision.

Furthermore, does it strike anyone else as interesting that she, a woman who has most likely experienced her own fair share of discrimination because of her past, believes it would be complete hell for a black child to grow up here. In other words, as one Bossip reader put it: “You know life is a mess if a white crack head prostitute thinks the worse thing to be is black in America.”

 

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  • visitor

    Well if she was raped, doesn’t she have control of what her body has produced?

  • Tommy

    This is woman is so right on. Please stop having these mixed up children. It’s like a damn science experiment. Most are ugly as hell and they grow up feeling confused and crazy. Most people want pure bred dogs and people!

    • Max Ewe

      Well said.

  • justice

    i was just looking up to adopt a biracial baby,when i came across this article.personally I love the whole rainbow people are people how ever that are concieved that is still consider a child,that was created.everybody was somebody’s baby once,when they couldn’t do for themselves.if it it hadn’t been for parents and grand parents we would NOT be here.every baby has a purpose to be here to be loved everybody child needs love no matter what condition they are in or come from that is a baby that came from PAIN AND SUFFERING 9 LONG MONTHS WEAR AND TEAR ON THESE MOTHERS BODIES.BABIES THEY ARE PRECIOUS ALL OF THEM.SOMETIMES YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT JOY A CHILD CAN BE WHEN IT GROWS UP IF YOU TRAIN IT RIGHT OR THEY CAN PUT A STRAIN ON YOUR HEART,SOME PEOPLE CAN’T HAVE A BABY WANT ONE BUT DON’T HAVE THE MONEY TO GET ONE. OTHERS GOT BABIES JUST DO MEAN THINGS TO IT.BABIES ARE INNOCENT THEY DIDN’T ASK TO COME HERE.ALL THEY NEED IS LOVE ATTENTION .PERSONALLY I DON’T CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO THEY WILL HAVE TO ANSWER TO GOD FOR THAT,HE SEES WHAT’S IN THE HEART WHATEVER THE HEART IS SAYING THE MOUTH SPEAKS.

  • Terrilynn Marks

    Her comment about blacks hating on this child because he is half-white is profound and should send a lot of volumes among the black community. Like someone already indicated when someone “hates on” someone they are jealous. This is the perception that the white community is clearly getting from the blacks. They may feel like that because we emulate everything that they do as far as hair and ideals go which includes ideals on beauty. I don’t see a need to further a discussion exploring the aspect of some blacks emulating whites because I feel many readers get the point. The question I want everyone to think about is how we change it?

    As far as her giving her child up for adoption I think she did the best thing. This child would have grown up hating himself. So for the ones who oppose this mother’s decision please count it as a blessing. The child would have grown up emotionally scarred.

  • Joyce Hajjar

    what did she expect when she slept with a black man ? It’s kinda like closing the barn door after the horse got out. She had to have known her child was going to be black looking. Sounds like she just didn’t want the baby period.

  • Bryanna

    I am Multiracial. Black, White and Native American. I get along perfectly fine with every race. I get alot of questions about my race because I could be mistaken anywhere from being Brazilian, Mexican, Asian, Hawaiian, Puerto Rican. (: so it is mistaken. Mixed kids can get along well with other races as long as those kids weren’t taught to hate at a young age.

  • Pingback: White, American Mother Gives Bi-Racial Baby Up For Adoption … | Child Adoption Process

  • IJS

    Let’s get down to the real reason she is giving up that child for adoption…*drumroll please*, “You’re a drug addict!” Leave race out of this!

  • StillHere

    Susan is an idiot.

  • kierah

    The child is better off without a crackhead prostitute momma anyway. Let the church say Amen! Pretty soon her little darling daughter will beg to be given up too.

  • ALadyFirst

    Here is what I have to say about it: 1. She did the right thing regardless of the racial intent behind that choice. 2. As a mixed race child myself, you definitely experience racism on a different level here in the states. I have personally experienced racism from blacks and whites. I’m not black enough for black people, black women used to get jealous because I am light skinned, I’m not white enough for white people, and white women get jealouse because their boyfriends keep looking at me. As a child it made recess not so fabulous so she is right in that regard. 3. As a young mother who was not really ready to become a mother when she did (although I was not on drugs, just a college sophomore with little to no resources at that point for raising a child) I knew better than to put my mixed race son up for adoption here in this country due to racism. He would be one of the last picked children due to his race unfortunately, 4. Too many children of color in this country end up in that cycle of foster care, foster care abuse, and often they do not grow beyond that.

    Anyways, those are my thoughts. I am mixed and my son is miixed too and i am proud to be his mother and he is loved by both racial backgrounds. But that is because we are his biological family. The world of adoption in the states is not exactly set up for the equal benefit of its children, especially with the trend to first adopt internationally, and let’s not even get into all the red tape one has to get through to adopt in the states (that’s another issue entirely.

  • GeekMommaRants

    Why have an abortion? There is no reason why not!

  • bkabbagej

    As usual our (American) history shows that racism is prevalent and is always one sided! Unfortunately, most white peole will never get that, sure black people can be cruel and even evil with their behavior of other black and biracial people. But we can never practice true forms of racism, well because in order to practice racism you have to have power and prestigue (never mind money) and unfortunately blacks don’t have too much of that. Yes, even very wealthy ones (blacks that is, well maybe with the exception of Oprah!), can have their decisions change, moved or even disguarded without any control of their own. Don’t get mad at the messenger, it’s a fact. In most large industries, ie; movies, business, education, and government (from local to our government). Let’s just look at the struggles our President has to deal with almost daily to make decisions for our country, from healthcare to making a military move almost became a war in it self and his proof is real. Then to have a major black movie made with large movie industry is almost impossible unless you sell your first born. In so many decision making processes there are no blacks in management, local government where you attend board meetings and they there making decisions for peoples lives but maybe 1 or on some none (blacks that is) there. So she’s right to give him away than to raise this black child and be thought of negatively by her white conterparts, a white crackhead prostitute who may one day change her life and have to explain this black child rape or not.

  • Chas

    She gave him up for the wrong reasons but I’m very glad she gave him up. She probably should look into getting fixed….

    • Tracu

      She gave him up for the right reasons, I read the whole article on CNN and she was also a prostitute and drug addict who obviously wasn’t read to handle/ take care of this child properly.

      That child was lucky to be afforded a better life with stable parents. But, the whole article was a good read.

      • Chas

        I was referring to the part of her giving him up because he’s biracial but i’m glad she knows she not in a position to raise a child. He was very lucky to escape that lifestyle. I wonder why or if she has custody of other children

        • Kam

          according to the article she still has her oldest daughter and another son by a man she met after prison. They said she is 4 years sober so maybe the state allowed her to have custody of her daughter back.

  • Cindy M.

    THIS IS THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!!! THAT BEAUTIFUL CHILD HAS THE RIGHT TO HAVE LOVE AND A FAMILY JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE!!! THERE ARE WOMEN OUT HERE RIGHT NOW THAT WOULD GIVE EVERYTHING TO HAVE A R SON OFCHILD OF ANY COLOR!!! I HAVE ADOPTED A WONDERFUL CHILD OF A DIFFERENT COLOR AND HE IS NOW A PROUD MARINE, AND I FEEL BLESSED AND PRIVILEGED TO BE HIS MOTHER!!! I MISS HIM EVERYDAY AND MY HEART ACHES…THANK GOD I WILL SEE HIM IN A FEW WEEKS!!! I MISS YOU VIC!

    • Cindy M.

      Please forgive my misspelled words, my keyboard is about done…

  • Marie Bano

    It is better for this child to be raised by another family. It is though an untold secret that many white mothers put their mixed children up for adoption. The only mixed people I know were all raised by adoptive parents. Why would her 11 YEAR OLD KNOW AND USE THE N-WORD.

  • stewie

    I hate her false equivalency between white racism that the child will definitely face and the minuscule and inconsequential black bigotry he might face. If we are so discriminatory towards biracial people, why did we then help elect a biracial black guy as the first black president ! Hell, most of the prominent people among us are biracial.

    Racist White people like to a project their hateful soul on to us. (NO mr&ms racist, it all you !) Being racist is part of the white identity not the black identity.

    That said, I give her a pass in here bigotry because of her rape and life experience.

    • eiddine

      This statment was and still is true in some parts of the us. I worked for a lady that calls her grand kids nigeret that was her way of saying thet were mixed. I have heard terms like this from others.

  • #ijs

    It’s sad but true but how does she know that he won’t experience the same hate in the Netherlands?

    • Tina C.

      Well as a black American woman currently living in Europe (Germany) it is most likely because racism is not nearly as huge of an issue over here in Europe as it is in the U.S. I have never seen so many interracial couples in my life (and it is absolutely beautiful, in my eyes) and black women of many different professions and walks of life who don’t have to even think twice as to whether or not their natural hair will be percieved in any negative way by their bosses or peers. As much as I love my country, America has got a lot of catching up to do with Europe when it comes to racial issues.

    • maximilion

      Exactly,in fact the child would face more hostility being the minority,they are not used to ethnic minorities there so the child would go through racism and wouldn’t be able to relate to people who don’t look like him/her..

  • sue

    Unfortunately this is the mindset of white people… Glad the kid is not with her anymore, they need to take her lily white daughter from her too, she’s corrupting her own kid with her hate.

    • Mercedes Hardy

      Please don’t lump all white people together like that. I have plenty of biracial children in my family, and I for one would never give my child up for any reason, regardless of it’s race. Racism does go two ways, and for people like me, it’s tiring and tedious to deal with. Thanks!

      • Cindy M.

        I TOO, HAVE A MIXED FAMILY, SOME ADOPTED AND I WOULDN’T CHANGE IT FOR THE WORLD!!! GOD BLESS YOU…

    • Cindy M.

      SO, WHAT WOULD YOU CALL YOUR COMMENT, ENLIGHTENMENT??? I DON’T THINK SO…YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK AT WHAT YOU JUST PUNCHED IN YOUR KEYBOARD…PLEASE DON’T PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH. REAL TALK.

      • ImaStayEffinHOT

        typical ^^

  • Kam

    I commend her for going through with placing her child for adoption. In the full article she stated the other reason for her placing him for adoption was that she didn’t want him in foster care because as she stated: “As the former crack-addicted prostitute that I was, I had seen so many girls that went through foster care, and the abuse and, you know, it’s awful. It’s awful there.” “I didn’t want to keep him in foster care. It’s not fair. It’s not fair for me to think: Well, you know what, one day I might get my life together. Well, you know what? Your life is not together now and your baby needs love now.” So even though she may have had misguided reasons for placing him for adoption initially, she ultimately made the correct one.

  • stupidwhitelady

    Thank god she’s giving up that baby for adoption, she’d corrupt that poor bundle of joy into a racist imbecile like herself. Although her reasons are blatantly ignorant, at least she acknowledges how badly African-Americans are still treated nowadays…some whites still swear up and down that we have entered a “post-racial society.” Pfft!

    And last time I checked, most bi-racial kids are treated slightly better than kids with two black parents.

    • Cindy M.

      Just remember, A SWORD HAS 2 BLADES ON EACH SIDE…It doesn’t matter WHAT COLOR YOU ARE, IGNORANCE IS IGNORANCE!!! THERE ARE GOOD PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD, LET GOD SORT OUT THE REST, AND HE WILL…

  • Nikia D-Shiznit

    “The white people are going to hate him because he’s half black, and the majority of black people are going to hate on him because he’s half white.”

    Wrong. The majority of Blacks accept their own, and are less likely to disown the parent or child because of the child being mixed raced. I didn’t say that Blacks don’t have racial prejudices, but that statement is backwards.

    • American Star Gazer

      I totally disagree with the statement that this child will be hated by most Blacks and Whites. Mixed race people live perfectly good lives here in the US. I think the true problem is that this woman is trying to justify her actions in giving her baby for adoption…perhaps she just did not want to raise a child that is half Black. After reading her daughters statements…it sounds like she is being raised in a racist household…where did she learn it from? Yes racism does exist here in America…as it does all over the world. It just seems like she is using it as an excuse…It’s sad really…

      • layla

        i agree with you. she is scared, that’s all, she isn’t strong enough to have a black baby in a racist white society.

    • Just saying!!

      Thank you!! I’m like what is she talking about. Usually in the black community if you’re half black, you’re black! Period. This lady is confused…

    • Dee

      This sentence stuck out to me as well because she said people would “hate” him because he is half black and people will “hate on” him because he is half white. Maybe I am splitting hairs here but usually ppl “hate on” something that they want; that they are jealous of while ppl “hate” things that aren’t good and that are unwanted.

      I just thought this turn of phrase was interesting

      • draydray

        You just LITERALLY read my mind

    • Alexis

      Yes,I caught that too lol, but I guess she was close for an addict.

    • http://www.theuka.us/ PA Klansman 1488

      Black people accept anybody.

    • Midori

      I know this is old, but I have to say I disagree… I’m biracial – half black and half white. And the white side of my extended family – my race really doesn’t matter… It’s not treated as taboo or anything and discussion is pretty open, but we’re family and we don’t argue semantics. We love each other for who we are. My black and very ghetto side of the family says I’m “too white to be black” and that “you just a white gal with a afro”, etc.. My grandma on my dad’s (black) side, though is very kind – she says just to ignore them ’cause we’re family anywho and “they just talkin'” I love her so much. Maybe this is just my personal experience, but that just doesn’t bear true to me.