Six Signs You Need To Stop Dating

September 13, 2013  |  

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From YourTango

Everyone can understand the common sense reason of why it’s a mistake to do your grocery shopping when you’re starving. Not only are you guaranteed to make poor and impulsive choices that don’t serve you, you’ll also probably blow your budget and literally “pay the price later” for your indiscretions. Any time you combine foggy thinking and weakness with the strong pull of your baser instincts, you are setting yourself up for a painful “learning experience.” These are the same reasons why you shouldn’t even be dating if you’re not feeling nourished, satiated and grateful.

In order to help you confirm that you are, indeed, ready to date, I’ve created a half dozen simple check-in questions for you to ask yourself. If you can check off the “right” answer to these 6 questions, you can feel good and confident that you’re probably in a pretty good place mentally and emotionally…and that’s likely to come across to your dates as far more attractive. This is what I call the “dating sweet spot” and it’s a good indicator of when things are just about to line up for you. The following six questions will help give you clarity about were you are in the process:

1) Are you looking to get…or are you ready to give?

People who show up in relationships with a primary goal of looking to “feel” a certain way, have it backwards. That’s a sure sign that you’re in it for what you can get out of it rather than how you can contribute to and love another. Only low-quality relationships are built on the premise that “as long as I get my needs met, we’ll get along just fine…otherwise, I’m out of here.” A real, true, legendary love for life is built on the notion of two people who love, see the best in one another and serve their partner’s needs no matter what and TOGETHER, they find a way through any challenge. Can you see the difference?

2) Have you checked your baggage?

We’ve all had our share of drama, breakups, hurt feelings and blown opportunities. The critical question is: have you processed those events so there is no longer an emotional charge there? Have you resolved the issues and most importantly learned from them? Can you think back on the partner who cheated on you without getting angry all over again? Are you proud of how you’ve shown up in the past? Bottom line, if you still have unresolved issues from the past, it’s important to take the time to process and heal before you bring someone else – and their possibly unresolved issues – into the mix. That only complicates things even more.

3) Will you look for what’s wrong…or focus on what’s right?

We always have a choice in life and the simple fact is – we tend to FIND whatever we look for in a given situation. Angry people will tend to find a reason to be angry, no matter what is happening. Depressed people will find a reason to be depressed. Happy and grateful people tend to seek out and find “what’s great” anywhere they look. Simply put, your normal outlook literally becomes a part of your identity and one of the strongest forces in the human personality is the NEED to stay aligned with our identity as we perceive it. In other words, when positivity is simply a part of who you are, your results will almost certainly improve in every context. Give it a try and see for your yourself.

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