Nice Things You Need To Stop Doing For Men

42 comments
September 9, 2013 ‐ By Julia Austin
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Admit it: you probably spend most of your energy in your relationship making sure you’re not the quintessential girlfriend described in every men’s magazine article. But the truth is we can get so caught up in trying to not be a certain way that we can’t act natural! And usually, we end up going above and beyond the call of duty. Here are 14 way too nice things you probably do for the men you date, that just have to stop.

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  • NaturalDiva

    I wish I would’ve read this back in 2009, I made all of these mistakes until I finally woke up two years later. Let’s just say, lesson learned.

  • Me

    I wish be proud because im woman…but i cant anymore..women think if they were born women should get in pregnant.First think that a woman should stop to do for a man or for herself is stop get in pregnant,be feminine and sensual preserve your body and the live the life as easy as a man does..

  • sad

    another moronic article on the interwebs, commented on by nobodies with nothing to say

  • Amanda Konesni

    Yeah, I was reading thinking….wow, what a *****. I was raised as a Southern woman. It may not be the norm, but in our family no matter if the woman has a job or not, we take care of our men. When my mother got a 3rd shift job, instead of my dad making dinner, she simply started having us eat earlier on days that she worked. With my boyfriend, I take pride in taking care of him, making those special lunch deliveries and things. I would NEVER tell my boyfriend he had to schedule time with me, or that he just had to wait if I was busy. Sure, love is compromise, but jeez. If I love someone, I want to be there for them and take care of them. If I listened to these things in this article, I wouldn’t have to ask “What happened!?!?!” after a breakup.

  • Destiny Sun Child

    I Really like this article. Yes it sounds controversial. And yes there is a heavy group discussion about this and “it ain’t getting” too many good reviews. However, I believe the article is basically about women not compromising or lowering their standards. We (males and females) are supposed to be held accountable in relationships and yes, if either person, male or female is doing the most work and not getting anything in return, then that’s a serious issue. And I think, judging from the tone of the article, the author probably had first hand experience with these issues…LOL

  • David Manhart

    Nice things men should stop doing for women:

    Paying for dinner. (women can pay their own way)

    Watching love stories. (do not de-masculinze yourself)
    Giving foot massages. (do women do the same for men?)

    Yardwork. (women need to do their fair share of outdoor work just as men do their fare share of housework – plus they need to shed some of those extra pounds)
    Protecting women physically. (after all, women are equal to men)
    Buying women jewelry. (do women pay for ultra-expensive items for men?)
    Going to the gym (ok, this one might be flexible – you still want to look good for OTHER women in case you want to switch)
    Staying with an older women (why do that when their are more attractive younger women who see you as a catch)
    Providing emotional support (men don’t need it, why do it for women?)

    The list goes on. Equality is equality. Men should not “demean” themselves for women since women should not “demean” themselves for men.

    Take the advice of this article, and also give these tips to the man in your life. This will be fair to both women and men. This is a recipe for a happy, long-term relationship. No really, trust me.

  • bragnaminam.

    “Saying it’s okay, when it’s not.” YES. As a man, I would appreciate this. We are creatures who do not take hints well. If you are mad, please let me know. If I think everything’s cool, I’m going to continue doing whatever is ticking you off.

  • Trey

    The theme of this article is “dont date a lazy loser” If your relationship contains at most, HALF of these situations, you need to cut-bate and move on. There are too many good men that have been raised right and RESPECT and CARE for women that dealing with this kind of loser isnt worth it. If women keep dating these losers, why should they change?

  • Matt

    Clearly the author knows nothing about (real) men, and has been dating the wrong guys. Not all men are “terrible at logistics,” and not all men are caricatures of TV sitcom husbands.

  • plexico

    I thought you were going to say “Blowjobs.”

    I’m so relieved you didn’t!

  • Ja Tu

    I think the author is just saying stop being a doormat

  • sasha

    The first thing that a woman should stop doing for a man,is do not get in pregnant,most men thing a woman is just for this,so dont fallow the nature,do not become vulnerable

  • Guest

    Looks like there will be many, many single women with cats in the near future. If you never impress upon a man that you are a HUGE blessing to his life, he will never stay with you.

    Ladies, please ignore these destructive pieces of advice and treat your man like a king. Every time. You will see how he will go out of his way to make you feel like a queen. But if you treat him like a room mate, that is all you’re going to be to him. Maybe a room mate with benefits.

  • StellarJesus

    Wow, where are these women? I can’t remember the last time a woman made ANY attempt to pick up a tab or bring over food or some other treat?

    I do think it’s hot when a woman is clear what she wants in the bedroom. I will do what it takes to get her there. It’s always worth it in the end.

  • Manuela Toia

    The first thing that a woman should make is to stop make so many kids and try be more feminine and sensual and to live the life as easy as a man does.Many women think ,if they were born women they need to get in pregnant and make kids because there is nothing else to do in life,and follow the nature. A woman also should know soon as she get in pregnant become a part from men`s mentality who think “That is a woman for”and lose the power in this endless war between men and women.
    A woman should stop to sacrifice all her life for such things,being pregnant making kids….Nobody talk ,or try give a better education for young women generation,why they shouldn’t make kids.
    If a woman can do this…than all the rest things and problem in her life will much more easier.
    All my deeply admiration for childless women,i still respect women who choose to have maybe 1-2 kids,and all my disgusting for women who never stop to make kids

  • qusdis

    Wow, what a contrived list. Certainly these items seem like urban legends:
    - Woman reaching for the check every time
    - Woman sleeping over at the man’s place every time
    - Woman inviting all of a guy’s friends over all the time
    - “Making special deliveries”

    Sure, many men should take heat for the common criticisms – chores, weekend plans, “finishing too soon,” etc. But if ALL of these things are happening to a woman OR a man, they’re just dating a jerk – either a narcissist or an abuser. This article concocts a fantasy that most women are totally up front and never engage in manipulation or passive-aggressive behavior of their own.

    Most men want just as much fairness as women do regarding the items listed.

  • AugustineThomas

    This should be called “14 Ways to Stay a Miserable, Lonely, Leftist, Empowered Women!”

  • Eric Scott

    I usually like this authors articles but this one seems REALLY biased

  • Dennis Bond

    Never had a woman do these things for me…but have done them for a woman. Or, girl, I guess I should say, since she obviously wasn’t a woman. But really, the fact that one item was that his mom gets mad when having dinner at “their” place makes me say, huh? He lives with his momma but SHE has her own place? This is whack.

  • Mac

    A lot of these imo are simple respect issues and should not really even be an issue if you are dating a woman or a man as opposed to a boy or a girl. You have to step up and be accountable to some social and relationship responsibilities it is that simple. Do you need to do all of these all the time of course not, most of the time of course!

  • lilabing

    I don’t do any of this stuff for my hubs. I never did either. I think he’s treated great. I just can’t sacrifice my needs for his wants… and also, I am not going to do stuff I don’t wanna do. Marriage is a long haul. You can’t start out doing stuff that will annoy you later, just don’t do it. I always say it when I don’t want to do something. He won’t die. He’ll be fine. Plus, it got him ready for kids. They definitely don’t care about your needs… much less your wants!

  • Jeepo

    This is one of the most inane, sexist, and generally idiotic things I’ve read in a long while. Not only does it seem to imply that most men are confused, selfish, sloppy, anti-social, emotionally oblivious morons who expect a woman to cater to them in every imaginable way, but it suggests that the only reason anyone does anything nice for their significant other is because they want something in return. I do nice things for my girlfriend all the time because I love her, and she does the same for me. If you do something nice for someone then get immediately resentful, then you’re highly immature and most likely have no business in a grown up relationship. Every relationship is a give and take, yes, but the key is compromise, not bullying. Good luck to anyone who follows this advice. Your relationship will need it.

  • Sera Non

    This article is so lame I have no words for it. -_-

    Any woman who follows this article’s advice does not want to be in a relationship, they want to be single; if that’s the case, you should have the integrity to break it off instead of trying to play these stupid mind games.

    What if a guy took all the advice in this article and acted this way towards his girlfriend? You’d think he was the lord of all jerks. Your hypocrisy is astounding.

  • Daniel

    This is the most sexist thing I’ve ever read, haha. If you disagree, Just replace the pronouns.

  • redsongia

    Most of these things are ridiculous. Who has dinner parties anymore?

  • Zachary Simon

    “The less you make your partner do for you, the less he will do for you. Keep those standards high; if he cares about you, he’ll meet them.” This is good advice, but a man is reading the same advice now with ‘she’ in place of ‘he’ AND being told, often by girls, how much girls like ‘confidence.’ In the 21st century people need to be upfront about whether they’re looking for an actual partner, arm candy, or just an f-buddy. Until you can be clear about which you want this kind of dating 101 advice will be like a class on comparative literature before you’ve learned to read.

  • Sheila Moore

    How about this? Just be honest. I know, radical, right? But if you want to sleep at your place, say so. If you don’t want to pick up Chinese Food from three towns over, say so. If you’re not reaching your “peak,” say so! If you can’t have these conversations with a person, they are not your “boyfriend.” “Boyfriend” – and I really hate that term for adult women to use about adult men – should mean the person you can really communicate with.

    • ODWms

      I couldn’t agree more. You hit the nail on the head.

  • James

    Looks like I’m the women, I do all of these things for my BF (best friend) while her BF (boy friend) does zero except the happy ending part on Saturday night only. I told her I’m going to send her BF an itemized escort bill monthly and we are going back to hanging out just a couple nights per month..bonus savings $3,000 plus monthly. I am, and should feel embarrassed. Thank you for the reality check.

  • Kristen

    I didn’t take this list as a “never do these things ever again for your man” kind of list, but just “if you see yourself doing any one or more of these too much without him putting in just as much effort or truly being appreciative, then it’s time to break up” kind of list.

  • Barbara Codner

    This list sounds “bitchy” but it’s not. Doing nice things for your man isn’t going to automatically win his heart or make him fall in love with you so make sure that you’re doing it for the right reasons. I don’t know how many times I see women doing these exact same
    things on this list & get angry when their man doesn’t reciprocate.

  • Guest

    Most of the list sounds like it was created for teenagers. Most real men over the age of 30 shouldn’t have most of these expectations and if they do, you need to dump him because he still has a lot of growing up to do and so do you!!!!

  • Ladybug94

    Some of these I will agree with as “some” men are so unappreciative of things that are done for them. On the flip side, you shouldn’t just do something because you are expecting something in return.

  • stewie

    simple; don’t do anything nice to your man, give nothing and expect everything….good lack with that. lol

    • hoppytoad79

      The author makes it clear what she’s talking about is when the woman is bending over backward for the guy all the time. If you missed that, you weren’t paying attention.

    • lilabing@yahoo.com

      I think she’s saying “don’t be a doormat”. Women are too nice. If it’s natural to you… do it, but if you are going to resent it later, don’t! It’s not natural to me, so I don’t. It doesn’t mean I am not nice or loving… just not overly so :) I am not the kind of girl who will run to get you a glass of water, or cook all day for your friends who I don’t know. I am not trying to impress. I am just me, that should be enough.

      • qusdis

        “Women are too nice.” Yeah, not always.

      • AnotherCommenter

        Women are too nice?! How many women have you met?

        • ODWms

          The author does women no favors with this simplistic, “women are perpetual victims” diatribe. If anything, it seems this author has a couple of man bashing issues herself, trying to project them onto others. How about not being with a man who would take advantage of you and use you in the first place, so all the other stuff falls into place anyway?

  • dina

    Maybe women are doing it because they love their man and they are returning the favors for them or they are just nice enough? The author sounds like a beech.

    • hoppytoad79

      The author made it clear with words like ‘always’, ‘regularly’, ‘on a regular basis’, and ‘often’ that she’s not talking to women who do nice things for their guys or are returning favors, she’s talking to women who are doing these things as a matter of course.

      • Sera Non

        No, you are simply giving the author the benefit of the doubt.