The Role People’s Advice Should Play In Your Life

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September 11, 2013 ‐ By Kendra Koger
people's advice

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No one knows all the answers, and it’s perfectly okay to try to get an objective view on what direction you should go.  When you’re facing an important life decision and your feelings seem to be stopping you from making just any decision, you might want to call up that friend, that family member, that colleague, and try to get their point of view on which direction you should go.  There’s just a few things about that.

Now, it’s not a bad thing to get advice, but at the same time, every last one of your decisions shouldn’t be dictated to you by other people.  As you grow, your resolve should as well.  It’s an indication of growth, maturity, and progress.  Your knowledge of the possible ramifications should help to shape the foundation of what you do and how you do it.  Especially if you plan on progressing in your path of life.  So strengthen your self-assuredness, and learn how to make a decision that’s not just based on emotion.

But, you’re not a robot, so you will occasionally need some guidance, which will lead you to ask for advice  But, I implore you to see the advice that you get as what it’s intended to be, guidance.  At the end of the day, when someone is telling you what to do, if you blindly follow it, you’re the one who has to live with the consequences of your decisions.

While your emotions might cause you to not be objective, the person that you’re seeking advice from is using their own background knowledge of their own personal experiences of how you should act.  At the end of the day, they’re not seeing it from your perspective, they’re seeing it from their own.  They are putting their own limitations on you, so if it’s something that seems out of their reach, it’s not as if they think that you can’t accomplish it, but because they might have failed at it (or something similar) in the past, it makes them want to shield you from suffering the same fate.  However, their fate might not be your own.

Finally, please remember that whatever you do (or don’t do), you’re the one whose going to have to live with that decision and it’s going to shape the direction that your life goes.  I love the people in my life, but some of my biggest regrets were allowing others to talk me out of something that I really wanted to pursue.  I know that they had good intentions, but at the same time, these people weren’t me.  So, they could go to sleep at night with a clear head, while mine was swamped with thinking of all of the missed opportunities due to someone else’s advice.

So, when you seek out help from others, know that there’s nothing wrong with that.  Asking for guidance doesn’t make you weak, and it might help you see an avenue that you might not have been privy to on your own.  However, just know that if you blindly follow what others are telling you, you’re cheating yourself.  Because at the end of the day, you’re the one who has to live with those consequences.

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