Are You Emotionally Unavailable?

43 Comments
December 10, 2010 ‐ By Erica Renee

1. Constantly Critical
If you tend to find fault in almost anything pertaining to relationships or someone of the opposite sex, you’re probably displaying these feelings on the outside, thus turning others away from wanting to get to know you better. Figure out what’s making you so critical and try to be more optimistic.

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  • http://twitter.com/Drieces_Pieces Audricia McKinney

    It is very hard once you have been hurt continuously. On one hand, you want to fall madly in love like you did with your very first love and on the other hand you don’t want to be a fool and be hurt. That is the absolute worst feeling in the world. It is very hard to balance these emotions. At least it is for me.

  • http://twitter.com/Drieces_Pieces Audricia McKinney

    It’s very hard. On one hand you want to fall madly in love the same way you did with your first love, and

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    There are emotionally unavailable women as well. Trust me.

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  • Blooms74

    I’ve questioned if I am emotionally unavailable, but after reading this I KNOW I am. I don’t want to be like this, but whenever things are going well with a guy I’m dating, I’m ALWAYS waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. I’m realizing I have major trust issues and though I’ve been to therapy, my work on myself isn’t done. I am going back to therapy and stick to it. I want to fix my issues so that I can have a happy, fulfilled life.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000283843603 Cassandre Francois

    I definitely emotionally unavailable for all the above reasons and more. Basically I don’t think I’m good enough to be in a relationship with anyone. Every single man I’ve met has only ever wanted to be “friends” with me. The one man I believed I was in love with, and knew me better than anyone, just wanted to be friends with benefits. Its easier to give up hope on having a loving healthy relationship than hold onto something that might never happen. For years I held onto the hope that he might have deep feelings for me too but he never need. I’d rather harden my heart and stay single.

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  • I Said

    Melinda, that's real. It's called wooing for a reason. Adam where art thou?

  • Nette

    I admit that I was emotionally unavailable. I mean all 9 characteristics described me. I even realized that I was when I met this wonderful person. Unfortunately after being in a relationship with him for 2 yrs, I found out that he had some unresolved issues. As a result of this I have suffered a tremendous amount of pain because he was the one that I trusted to be a part of my life. I don't think that he is ready for a relationship even though he thinks he's ready to be married.The sad thing is that he really is a wonderful person and I really do believe that he loves me. Even though he wants to salvage our relationship, Im reluctant to do so. Truth is although Im still in love with him, Im petrified of being hurt again. So much that Im willing to walk away and miss out on something that could potentially be great… Through this experience I honestly can say that being emotionally unavailable worked for me…

  • Melinda

    Wow! Very interesting article. I never felt I was emotionally unavailable (just a bs detector and tired of the games some men play). I am pretty straight forward and I think everyone should be. IDK something to think about a work in progress.

    • Ms. MLA

      Right I am/can be emotionally unavailable but I’m also unavailable for stupid…

  • Amber

    This has nothing to do with the article at all but doesn't the first lady look like a mix between Angelina Jolie and Phaedra of RHOA?!

    Is it just me?!

  • Lisa

    This describes my male friend to a TEE! Wow! And like Shaye says, I was starting to think I was crazy.

    I also agree with Lydon too. My male friend has been through a lot of things and i assume he is going through some sort of PSD and doesn't realize it.

  • SHAYE

    CRAZZY, THIS IS EXACTLY HOW MY MAN OF 11 YRS IS……..WOW. THANKS I WAS START N TO THINK I WAS CRAZY. SCARED TO INTERACT

  • Lyndon

    This is called PTSD (post traumatic syndrome disorder)

  • Danielle

    Wow this is exactly how I am …kinda of scary…

  • Ms. Dixon

    WOW!!!!!6 out of 8 discribes me. I am unhappy and everyone I date is unhappy……..How do I overcome this?

  • briana

    This describes my kinda sorta x to the tee. But i knw its because he had a Very difficult child hood. Although we're not 2gether we're planning on getting back together but… idk cuz we do talk about marrige alot n i dont knw if i want someone who turns hes feelings off wenever we're having problems! I dont want to be married an misrable!

  • TashaB

    Wow. This really hits home. Something to think about.

  • Monica

    Great article!