Uh Oh! Pastor Refused To Marry Woman Because Of Inappropriate Wedding Dress

166 Comments
August 22, 2013 ‐ By
pastor refused to marry

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If you grew up in church or still go today, you know there are so many unwritten rules. When can I walk in the aisles, when can’t I? Is candy the only thing I can eat in the sanctuary? How loudly should I say amen? There are tons of expectations that are rarely explicitly stated. But the most confusion about these rules come from issues with attire. And such was the case when a Houston pastor refused to marry a woman and her husband because her wedding dress was too revealing.

Sounds like a mess, right? Here’s how the story goes.

Lisa Washington was set to marry her husband to be in a church that had recently been converted from a shoe store.  She’d rented the church for Saturday, August 10 at 3pm. But just an hour before, Apostle Michael Canty saw the bride and jokingly asked her where was the other half of her wedding dress. The family took this as a joke and continued prepping the bride for her big day.

A half an hour later, the pastor sent a leader of the church to ask the bride, again, where was the rest of her dress. They told the leader that was it and the leader told the pastor. After that the pastor went to the bride and groom and told them that he could not perform the ceremony if the bride wore that dress as it was. He told the bride she would have to cover her chest and add some length to it.

Naturally, 30 minutes before the wedding, the bride told the pastor there was no way they could make any last minute alterations. The pastor said he wouldn’t be able to perform the ceremony and walked back to his office.

The wedding party tried several times to change the pastor’s mind but all to no avail.

After 4:30, one of the guests at the wedding, a minister, heard how the bride was in the back crying because her wedding day was not going to take place and asked the pastor for permission to perform the ceremony. The pastor told him no and said that the request was disrespectful.

AmericaPreachers.com asked a couple for a picture of the wedding dress and they sent over the same dress worn by a professional model. Here is the dress below.

pastor refused to marry

Source: Ali Express.com

The bride said there were small alterations made to match her vision. She explained why she wanted to wear this particular dress.

“I’m a unique person, I chose this dress because it’s different than the traditional wedding gown you see at every wedding.” 

Two days later, the couple, who were not members of the church, still hadn’t been married. They’re now in the process of recouping money that their family lost in travel, food and other expenses.

Now, I’m not going to pretend that this dress isn’t inappropriate– for a lot of different occasions, especially a wedding, but I think the pastor was dead wrong in this instance. If this woman had to rent a church that she didn’t attend for her wedding it’s a bit obvious that she doesn’t understand typical church protocol and those unwritten rules we talked about earlier. And since she didn’t know, the pastor should have just married them anyway and taken the opportunity, perhaps afterward to explain to her that if she ever decides to set foot in a church again she might want to be more conservative in her dress because it might distract or offend others. If he was determined not to marry her in that dress, the least he could have done was allow the other minister to do so.

By refusing to marry this woman this pastor probably pushed this couple, who had at least a little respect for the church, and most likely their future children from coming back again. While her dress wasn’t right, at the end of the day the mark of a good pastor and general Christian is about the people you bring to God. Sometimes you have to meet people where they are to get them where you want them to go.

 

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  • tori amri

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  • Robin Michael Rush

    As a minister, I do pre marital counseling and wedding services. As a part of the premarital counseling, appropriate clothing for the bride, groom and wedding party is discussed before the actual ceremony. Couples who choose to have a church wedding where they are not members should be informed of these things ahead of time. Perhaps the bride could have saved the ‘inappropriate’ dress for the reception.

  • Alison

    I think the bride was wrong. What she wore was fine, but when you get married in a religious house of worship, you adhere to their rules. If I wanted to get married in a mosque and they required hair coverings, I couldn’t refuse to wear hair coverings and expect to get married there. She should have visited the church beforehand to get an idea of the appropriate style of dress.

  • caramelpooh

    Ignorance!!! People who were not raised in a church or who don’t attend a church have no idea what is and is not acceptable. My daughter once asked my mom if she could wear slacks to church. Mom responded with, “I’m sure you can, but not my church and not ever with me!” My daughter was raised in church, but because others were doing it, she thought it would be okay.
    I am not calling people ignorant, I’m saying that they are ignorant to the ways of the church. Not too very long ago, it was not acceptable to wear sleeveless wedding dresses in a church.
    I feel that the bride could have explained to her guests what the situation was and proceeded on to whatever venue they had chosen to have the reception, along with the other minister who had offered to perform the ceremony. I know that is not what she had planned, but when given lemons, make lemonade. At the end of the day, she would have been married.

  • Eliza J.

    I’ve read through many of these comments; this actually has nothing to do with the church or whether she was dressed inappropriately or not. This is about the preacher renting out the church and his services to a couple and then deciding that he did not approve of the outfit she was wearing. If there was a requirement that she or the wedding party, etc., be dressed a certain way then that should have been put in the contract. If he were really standing on “principle” as so many of you mentioned then he would have told her that he could not perform the wedding and she could no longer use the church but that her money would be returned in full. No. his “principles” said keep the money and kick them all out because she should know better. Well apparently she didn’t know better so this is why contracts have to be explicit. Suppose she had on a dress all the way up to her neck and down to her ankles but it was black and he didn’t approve because it wasn’t white and kicked them out. You all would be up in arms like he should have told her she couldn’t wear a black dress., etc. If you are going to use your church as a business then you need to be professional and make sure the contract lines up with your “principles.”

  • Chas

    I would have sued lol Weddings are expensive not only for the couple but for the wedding party, family and guests. If he had attire requirements that should have been made clear when they requested his services. That dress was extremely tacky for the occasion especially if you plan on getting married in a church but that is an unwritten rule that you cant hold any expectations to in the matter if business unless stated. Normally I think suing someone is petty but this is an exception.

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  • dcta

    I think the preacher should have handed her choir robe to wear for the ceremony. it’s ridiculous that NOT ONE PERSON kept his/her head and managed to come up with some sort of compromise.

    And these two still have a marriage license that is probably still good to use and they haven’t managed to do so? If I could not have dealt with a compromise like the one above, I’d still have had the party that day and then found a Judge to marry us the next week.

  • dcta

    I think the preacher should have handed her choir robe to wear for the ceremony. it’s ridiculous that NOT ONE PERSON kept his/her head and managed to come up with some sort of compromise.

    And these two still have a marriage license that is probably still good to use and they haven’t managed to do so? If I could not have dealt with a compromise like the one above, I’d still have had the party that day and then found a Judge to marry us the next week.

  • Allen Anderson

    years ago a radio preacher gave what I feel is the best sermon I have yet heard of the subject of what to wear in church. He said if you received an invitation to meet the with president of the usa queen of england or somebody like that would you go to that meeting wearing just casual clothes. I would guess that most people would on their finest clothes for such a meeting. so why not do that when you are meeting with the King of Kings?

  • Billy Beatty

    The Pastor was right. She certainly can get married in that dress but not in the House of the Lord. Any House of the Lord. How disrespectful. Is there no common sense any more?

  • Shawnna Ramsey

    No, I disagree with the last part of this post. First, people need to understand that churches today operate as a family, a ministry and a business (especialluwhen renting the facilities). In almost every case of a non-member renting the church for a wedding that I’ve seen, there has been a contract. There’s a contract because the church is dealing with someone who is not a part of the business. I’m an outsider, but I’m sure there was a note about the music and attire. Next, the mark of a good Christian is NOT playing into things that compromise the accepted standards of your place of worship. She could have gotten married ANYWHERE and by ANYONE. Since she chose to get married in a church, she should have been willing to uphold those standards. Yes, she has the right to be frustrated because all of this happened on her wedding day, but someone in her family should have checked her on the dress beforehand. You can’t ask a minister to just put his ministry and credibility on the line because you want to wear a revealing dress. You could have gotten married in a park for all of that. To put the blame on a pastor–who is doing nothing more than his job–is bananas. She chose that dress and she has to deal with the consequences of that choice.

  • james gandolfinis ghost

    I hope anyone that agrees with this man with die a very horrible death. I mean like really, really horrible death. I hope you are raped with a crucifix while having the bible jammed down your throat while being sung songs of how good god is and how he has a plan for everyone.

    Have a great life people.

  • Richard Kreitenstein

    There is absolutely no way that I would permit such a dress to be worn at a wedding in the church. No one has a right to a church wedding. The church is not public property, an entitlement to each and every citizen, regardless of their faith and practice. The church is not for rent, and neither is the pastor. He is not here to do your bidding or fulfill your every whim. He is there, in loco Christi, as a servant OF THE CHURCH AND CHRIST, not to do YOUR bidding, but that of Christ. If you do not understand the point I’m making … well, I sincerely doubt you should be married in a church by a Christian pastor. Just sayin’.

  • S Clarke

    “UH OH! PASTOR REFUSED TO MARRY WOMAN BECAUSE OF INAPPROPRIATE WEDDING DRESS”

    I applaud “Apostle Michael Canty,” sounds like one who is aware of the “lust of the flesh” that a lot of women promote these days even as church members. “Now, I’m not going to pretend that this dress isn’t inappropriate,” the only place it is fit for is the fire. I would not even want to walk with a woman down the street in that dress let alone on our wedding day – shame on the man also!!

    “The mark of a good pastor and general Christian is about the people you bring to God” but you should be made aware that the first step is repentance. John told those came to be baptized at Jordan; “Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance.” So that “other minister” who wanted to perform the wedding ceremony, whomsoever he is, is definitely one of those who undermines other ministers and the standard of godliness, instead of promoting consistency. Could she wear that same dress into a court room and stand before an “unjust judge” as a witness or serve as jury? If not, should not a greater respect be shown to the judge of all judges who instituted marriage, house of God and the entire process of marriage? Not only so but pastors need to do the same to women who are dressing similarly – might not be to the same extent but nonetheless, leaving especially their “chest” and thighs exposed as Christians.

    “…The most confusion about these (church) rules come from issues with attire,” but only a person who doesn’t believe the Bible will be confounded. There are only three departments in the kingdom of darkness which is the world (systems that sinful people love), with the devil as the CEO and president . For instance, the scriptures says: “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes and the pride of life….” These cover the entire operation of Satan and obviously Hollywood is his headquarters.That is why the servants of the devil (actors) have to promote “the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eye, ” indecently expose themselves because that’s part and parcel of their job.

    Not all churches are of God, so the one true church that is built “upon this rock” (Christ) must take its stance, “having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust,” that this bride and groom are promoting. The entire wedding process was a “provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof” which is forbidden by the word of God. Well done Apostle Michael Canty!! am delighted it’s available to the public for all the world to see so other pastors and marriage officers can imitate.

  • S Clarke

    “UH OH! PASTOR REFUSED TO MARRY WOMAN BECAUSE OF INAPPROPRIATE WEDDING DRESS”

    I applaud “Apostle Michael Canty,” sounds like one who is aware of the “lust of the flesh” that a lot of women promote these days even as church members. “Now, I’m not going to pretend that this dress isn’t inappropriate,” the only place it is fit for is the fire. I would not even want to walk with a woman down the street in that dress let alone on our wedding day – shame on the man also!!

    “The mark of a good pastor and general Christian is about the people you bring to God” but you should be made aware that the first step is repentance. John told those came to be baptized at Jordan; “Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance.” So that “other minister” who wanted to perform the wedding ceremony, whomsoever he is, is definitely one of those who undermines other ministers and the standard of godliness, instead of promoting consistency. Could she wear that same dress into a court room and stand before an “unjust judge” as a witness or serve as jury? If not, should not a greater respect be shown to the judge of all judges who instituted marriage, house of God and the entire process of marriage? Not only so but pastors need to do the same to women who are dressing similarly – might not be to the same extent but nonetheless, leaving especially their “chest” and thighs exposed as Christians.

    “…The most confusion about these (church) rules come from issues with attire,” but only a person who doesn’t believe the Bible will be confounded. There are only three departments in the kingdom of darkness which is the world (systems that sinful people love), with the devil as the CEO and president . For instance, the scriptures says: “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes and the pride of life….” These cover the entire operation of Satan and obviously Hollywood is his headquarters.That is why the servants of the devil (actors) have to promote “the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eye, ” indecently expose themselves because that’s part and parcel of their job.

    Not all churches are of God, so the one true church that is built “upon this rock” (Christ) must take its stance, “having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust,” that this bride and groom are promoting. The entire wedding process was a “provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof” which is forbidden by the word of God. Well done Apostle Michael Canty!! am delighted it’s available to the public for all the world to see so other pastors and marriage officers can imitate.

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  • Patrick Quake

    It’s the Pastor’s church so he can marry or turn away whomever he chooses. I’m sure she got her refund back. You can’t come in a church dressed like you’re going to a strip club. If that’s the case let me roll my trees during the ceremony then. And talk on the cell lol.

  • D.D

    She should not have got married in a church and they need to give the couple their money back.

  • Nynika

    I don’t care what anyone says, yall crazy! That dress is not appropriate for church… As a woman she has d right to wear whatever she wants but in that case she should have had the wedding on the beach or at a house or a hall NOT IN CHURCH… I’m sure she would not go to work at the office in that dress because she definitely would have gotten a letter and sent home.

  • Guest

    I don’t think the pastor was wrong. There are dress codes in plenty of institutions and idk what would make her think dressing like the club was okay. There are plenty of ways she could have gone non traditional and been appropriate.

  • anonymouse

    well, that some dress….that’s all that I can say about that. But I think the pastor was out of line, if he didn’t want to perform the ceremony, he should’ve let the other pastor do it. I just can’t justify setting somebody back financially like that and on their wedding day. Stubbornness is NOT a virtue, pastor.

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  • sdove

    If it was that big of a deal to the pastor, could this have been discussed when he met with them to rent out the church? Could he have asked or stated his policy or take on what the expectations were for the bride’s dress? Because legally, if a contract was signed by both parties and the expectations were not discussed or written down then he could be found liable and required to pay all the money back. Yes, she very well could have asked for clarifacation but how many brides actually do that (ask before the dress is bought) on the regular?

  • Dr. Brown

    It was in very bad taste for the Pastor to refuse to do the wedding the day of. If he felt strongly about appropriateness of dress, that should have been discussed prior to his agreeing to do the wedding. I find it hard t believe that she waited until her wedding day to dress like this for church; perhaps a Pastoral conversation was long overdue?
    Either way, it is important for Pastors to choose our battles wisely and unfortunately, in this case the Pastor did not choose so wisely.

  • rainydaze80

    Nobody had a jacket to cover her up or anything? I’m not one to judge how someone should dress but in many cathedrals and mosques, you can’t enter without sleeves or have your legs exposed above the thigh. Besides, I don’t know that I would want to stand in front of a minister with my boobs hanging out of my dress. Similar standards apply for events like prom and formal events. There is a level of appropriateness to be respected. The point is to look beautiful on you wedding day, not to put all the goods on display.

  • Millicent Yvonne Bynum

    It appears that the only thing that was discussed was the price. Did the pastor know this couple prior to accepting the money? I’m assuming that this is not the first time that the church has been rented out for a wedding. In the future, I hope that he has a disclaimer regarding attire. She entered into a business contract with the church and there was a failure to provide services due to a moral conflict and undocumented dress code.

  • claudette J Patricia samuel

    Whatever happened to pre-marriage counselling? When entering someone else’s domain, e.g. church, I usually ask what is the mode of dress so as to avoid embarassment on all corners. I do not believe that it was appropriate for another minister to ask to marry them at that church – he could have even take n the wedding to the parking lot but respect needed to be shown to the officiating minister, his church and his stance. The wedding could have happened elsewhere since there was a willing minister. It is very unfortunate to be faced with these circumstances but people need to respect others in their domain, whether or not they paid for it.

  • kierah

    There are MANY churches that have certain wardrobe stipulations for weddings. Some say the dress must have sleeves or the bride’s head must be covered by the veil. However, those parameters need to be discussed from the beginning. The pastor should not have done that at the last minute (and any time before 48 hours qualifies as the last minute for a wedding).

  • Candacey Doris

    This was not cool. Sure the dress is more suited for a club than a church. But he was brought there to bring them together in marriage. If he was worried about fashion he could have made it clearer earlier when he made a comment that he would not do the wedding and give them time to get something else or make other arrangements. Instead he ruined their day and broke contract. He certainly didn’t show any of the compassion and kindness he’s supposed to show.

  • rubiesandcoral

    dead people are buried wearing more clothes than this, so it stands to reason that while one is alive and things are still moving around (this goes for men and women), you should cover those things with more fabric than that. i mean since when is it OK to wear (as the previous commenter put it) one’s freakum dress to CHURCH? trying to be THIS “unique” in church i think gave the pastor the right to act completely brand new about the situation…

  • mikki21

    I understand the Paster not wanting to marry them, but he should have allowed the other Paster to stnad in and perform the ceremony.

  • JerkJackson

    “But just an hour before, Apostle Michael Canty saw the bride and jokingly asked her where was the other half of her wedding dress. The family took this as a joke and continued prepping the bride for her big day.”

    MISTAKE #1

  • JerkJackson

    His church, His rules I guess…

  • Pastor Bill

    This is why, as a pastor, I do not do weddings for anyone who is not a member of our congregation, has attended church on a regular basis, and the couple goes through pre-marital counseling that my wife and I conduct. If I don’t know you, I will not marry you. That keeps things like this from happening.

  • bebe

    That dress was extremely inappropriate, but the pastor should have conducted the wedding and had a long sit down with the newlywed couple AFTERWARDS. It’s a simple as that. I couldn’t imagine any of the pastors I’ve met cancelling someone’s wedding. That is downright cruel.

  • Dee

    I feel both the couple and the preacher are at fault here. The preacher because he should have had a sit down meeting and tried to get to know the couple before the wedding. That way he could have gauged for himself who he was dealing with. I blame the bride only because really -_- THATS what you are going to wear in a church (wedding or no wedding). Like another poster said, it doesnt make sense for non religious ppl to rent a church to be married then straight disrespect it and then get mad. Boop!

    • Bebe

      Yeah I feel like the bride was just missing some screws somewhere, but I don’t think that the pastor could have prevented that from happening even if he got to know them first. He was probably just shocked but I dont think the bride would have discussed her dress at a sit down with the pastor.

      • Dee

        True, I dont think she would have went into detail abt her dress but what I’m saying is maybe she would have seen how serious the church and the pastor are (he seems VERY serious lol) and would have opted for a more laid back venue. Or he would have seen how eclectic she was and would have declined to do the ceremony

  • Suzie

    As Christians we are not to cause someone to stumble into sin. By dressing immodestly, and this is happening all the time these days, it can cause another to lust, which is causing another to stumble into sin. We women need to think about how we dress, all of us. I have to believe the pastor never thought in his wildest dreams that a woman would dress like that for her wedding or he would have said something before he agreed to marry them. It will teach him to cover all his bases from now on. Hard lesson. I don’t know what his practice had been, but if he had been in the practice of marrying nonchristians, he should have married them as they showed up, but if they were Christians, he was as a fellow believer within his rights to make this determination. Christians are to encourage one another to live to a higher standard than the world. We don’t know all the facts here.

    • anonymouse

      if you’re at that wedding and that dress causes you to lust…….then you have problems bigger than having all women cover up can cure

  • Dani

    I feel bad for that couple because the dress wasn’t wedding attire but they still should’ve gotten married. That couldn’t get married in the chruch because of a dress is just crazy. And I don’t care what anyone say that was judgement. That pastor basically said that the couple wasn’t worthy of getting married because of a dress. I see where the pastor was coming from but I just don’t think it was right for him to turn them away

  • Guest

    Come as you are and that is what she did, what is wrong with her being truly herself. You never know the true extent of her relationship with God, we humans are the harshest judgers. This was a test for the pastor and he failed to see the true message. It isn’t about the attire it is about spreading the word and being grateful that she chose to celebrate her wedding with God.

  • LutheranChik

    I’m wondering what degree of bad taste in male attire would be enough to have a pastor cancel a wedding…or if this is all just about women having to adhere to male ideas about female modesty.

  • MsBerry

    That’s all religion and God was clearly not in that situation. I would ask the minister to show me where in Gods word does it say you can’t marry me in my dress. It saddens me. Jesus minister to people of all types. Thank God He is the ultimate judge. Some churches need to make more room for God.

  • guest

    Well, she could have put a table cloth on or something. That dress looks like something a prostitute would wear.

  • Sheena B

    I agree with the pastor on this one. That model looks stank just from the pic. I’m pretty sure the bride to be didn’t look like that in it but worse. Looks like some cheap Body Central dress.

    • JerkJackson

      I was thinking the SAME thing! Can we get a picture of the Bride in the actual dress? You know, so we can see the full extent of the Shamefulness.

      • Sheena B

        I agree. I honestly saw an-out-of-shape woman with stripper-ish heels and horrid false eyelashes. The kind that look like bird feathers on the eyelid. Not trying to be mean but the image in my head wasn’t church wedding appropriate.

  • ebooksulit

    Lol… I you want a church wedding and a pastor officiating the wedding, then abide by the religious convictions of the church where it will be celebrated. You should have a garden or probably a beach wedding if you want this dress. It’s really quite improper dress for a church wedding.

  • Guest

    It’s not even about the building. I don’t understand why no one in her family ever suggested, it wasn’t the right kind of dress to get married in. People seem to have lost all respect for themselves and others, as well as something serious as a union. Just No Common Sense! Why would you want to get married in a dress you could wear to the club, anytime. No pride or values anymore!

  • Malinda Smith

    I believe if Christ was present, he would have pulled an immediate family member aside to kindly discuss the issue at hand and asked if anyone can provide another garment for the lovely bride’s wedding day. Therefore, that would have given someone a chance to either switch with her or go out to buy or rent her another dress that was more appropriate only delaying the wedding. Weddings get delayed because of mishaps all the time. Maybe a woman may had been present with something that could cover her with grace and style. But just rejecting without attempting to fix the problem is disrespectful to the other parties involved.

    By taking the above route, he would have encouraged her spirit to a new level of respect for him, God and herself.

    • interesting

      well said

  • Eve

    FIRST OF ALL, I THINK A PASTOR SHOULD NOT PERFORM A WEDDING IF HE DOES NOT KNOW THE COUPLE ENOUGH. PLUS IF THEY ASKED TO RENT THE CHURCH AND FOR HIM TO PERFORM THE WEDDING HE SHOULD GET TO KNOW THEM FIRST AND OFFERED THEM COUNSELING. THE CHURCH OF GOD ITS NOT LIKE THE GAS STATION, I DONT CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAY. CHRIST DIE SO THE CHURCH CAN BE HOLY. YES, I KNOW ITS NOT THE BUILDING BUT THE PEOPLE THAT COMES TO THE TEMPLE MAKES THE CHURCH. SO THE TEMPLE NEEDS SOME TYPE OF RESPECT. JUST LIKE WHEN YOU GO TO THE COURT HOUSE YOU ARE REQUIRED TO DRESS APPROPRIATELY. SAME THING GOES FOR GOD AND SHOULD DEMAND EVEN MORE RESPECT.

  • wadadlicat

    If you can’t stand for something then you will fall for anything. I agree that a church is just a building however just like any other religious institution it holds some sort of significance to its people. Its the same way that a mosque holds some sort of significance to a Muslim and its the same for Jews as well. Therefore by her dressing like that it was total and utter disrespect. I am sure she knew better but like she said she wanted to be unique. If persons don’t want to go through all of that then its simple “rent a non-religious place and get a judge or somebody else to officiate the wedding”. Do you think she could have rolled up in a mosque, Jewish temple, Hindu Temple or even a Buddhist Temple dressed like that? They would have turned her away so fast the dress might have flown off. So why every body expects that a church should accept it? smh

  • interesting

    Keep in mind that the article said that the bride dress had small alteration done to it. None of you know if that was done in the bust area or what. Did the pastor knew the young lady from before? if he did not then The pastor had no issue in taking money to perform a wedding for a young lady who not a member of his church so why get all religious now?

    I know that most the churches in my country ask the couple to attend counseling with the pastor for a while before the ceremony. They go over the dos and don’ts.

    The couple should sue him and let him repay all the cost. imagine the emotional pain he cause. he could had let the other pastor do the service.

    if a dead is dress like this would he say he not burying dead?

    this was a teachable moment for him to talk about it with first the bride then everyone.

    render your heart and not your garment.

  • Roger Beshears

    This wIole story is ridiculous. I am trying to understand how something like this really happened.I certainly don’t feel sorry for anyone. Good Grief!

  • EdwardWJones

    Anyone dumb enough to get married deserves what they get, and to marry a pastor is extremely ignorant.

  • June

    Well I looked at the dress it Is indeed very skanky, it took me by surprise. So then I agreed with the pastor. But then, I thought about it, now the pastor did not ask to see her dress or the wedding attire. If I was the pastor I would be feel upset and disrespected by her dress and how they did not inform me on their untraditional wedding attirre. But I would let the wedding take place and from here on out I would have to add a clause about appropriate wedding attire for all parties interested in getting marriaged at my church. I would volunteer to counsel them and teach them about modesty too. I may even offer another private marriage ceremony if the bride agrees to choose a more wholesome and virtuous dress and they both agree to join my church.

  • Neressa Petrah Lea

    OMG LOOK HOW IT LOOKS ON THIS THIN MODEL IF THIS IS ON A BLACK WOMEN WHICH WE ALL FOR THE MOST PART HAVE LIKE VOLUPTUOUS BODIES SHE MUST OF LOOKED REAL SKANKALICIOUS WHICH IS FIND FOR THE CLUB BUT NOT IN CHURCH HE WAS PROBABLY EMBARRASSED AND SHE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE PUT THE PICTURES ON FACEBOOK LINK THE CHURCH PAGE( IF THEY HAVE ONE) HE IS PREACHER NOT THE BUNNY RANCH MANAGER ITS NOT A GOOD LOOK I WOULD HAVE JUST BANNED FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY I MEANGENERALLY CHRISTIANS PROMOTE “COME AS YOU ARE”…BUT IN THIS CASE I AGREE WITH THE PASTOR NOT A GOOD LOOK FOR THE CHURCH.

    • Sono

      Also to add… “come as you are” in the bible content is in reference to one’s heart…. wasn’t referencing attire or appearance #myfiftycents
      If you’re in pieces… He’ll put you back together…. One should not have to wait until they fix themselves before coming to Christ. That’s among reasons why the call for “come as you are”

      • Neressa Petrah Lea

        your speaking like your definition if factual when it is indeed your opinion it can mean what it means to you but also mean what it means to me #thanx (are you going to criticize my spelling of thanks as well )i believe in whatever space your in the christian community should embrace you as you are and try to instill christian morals into you if your receptive and ready to receive the message being presented…usually but that dress is suited for a club and could tarnish the churches image your brand is your lively hood

  • DianaDT

    It should have been explained the moment they booked the wedding. It’s not fair to leave for discussion at the last minute, especially when the Bride or her family so nothing wrong with it. What’s common for one is not common for all. My old church designated a coordinator to go over do’s and don’ts to avoid situations just like this. They could have given the wedding party other options prior to their wedding day.

  • B M W

    I thought our bodies were the “sanctuary” of the Lord? This ‘pastor’
    missed two opportunities ~ 1) the chance to possibly have two new
    members and maybe new members from the guests at the wedding; and 2) a
    chance to counsel the newly married couple. I guess this ‘pastor’ does
    not do outdoor ministry because certainly most people on the street are
    not in ‘proper attire.’

  • DeltaRev

    This is what happens when people do not belong to a church but want a pastor, about whom they have absolutely no clue, to perform their wedding. Why do you want a church wedding if you don’t belong to a church? If you were under a pastor’s leadership, who had teachings in line with what you felt comfortable with, then this madness would not occur. Also, it’s obvious that there was little or no pre-marital counseling or discussion or something like this would have come out. It’s not the Pastor’s fault that he had a theology many might consider hypocritical. It is his prerogative and his biblical understanding. Flawed?? Maybe/maybe not. But if you don’t have a church or don’t at least visit a church enough to know its theology and doctrine then you need to go to the courthouse or hire a unitarian minister to marry you in the catering hall.

  • Guest

    Yes, I always thought the church was a ‘come as you are’ place, then let
    the LORD mold and make you through the word, not the (so-called)
    pastor’s thinking. Take into consideration the sheep and the shepherd.
    Does the shepherd leave the sheep out in the field because their wool is
    too wooly, yet guide the other sheep to the safety of the
    barn…(church)? I don’t think so! (Do we tell parishioners you can’t
    come to this church because you smoke, drink, your circle of friends are
    questionable? All are shepherded to the safety of the barn (church),
    then the molding takes place (or in this case) your appearance, speech,
    etc are conformed to the Word of God.

  • Natalynn

    Are you seriously telling me that in 2013 people still don’t know how to conduct themselves in a house of worship? This isn’t a banquet hall or a recreation center and as surprising as it may be to some people, yes pastors, preachers and priests are offended when people plead ignorance when trying to utilize the church for their events. Simple communication would have cleared this up–” Bride: Before I decide you will perform the ceremony, this is my dress and I ain’t changing it.” Pastor: I’m sorry, you’re going to have to find another venue for your wedding. Bride: Thank you, I will.” How hard is it to do that–give me a break.

  • Noelle

    I was at a wedding where the bride wore a see through dress. It had alternating bands of lace and bands of sheer material. It was beautifully made, but just as this incident, not appropriate and in bad taste. The minister at that wedding, made her stand facing her husband-to-be for the entire ceremony so we only saw the side view. Of course at the reception, we saw it all.

  • Tony Williams

    I wonldnt have married her either, thats a club freakthem dress.

  • Is It 5:00 Yet?

    I’m sorry, but that dress was totally inappropriate. It sucks, but sometimes doing the right thing may be an inconvenience for others. It probably would have been wise for the couple and the pastor to review the requirements beforehand so they could all have been on the same page.

  • Eric Jewell Hayes Sr

    Wow! I’m not sure about stopping the ceremony but I can’t believe that her mother or a friend or SOMEBODY didn’t tell her that this dress was entirely inappropriate for a church wedding. If she wanted to wear this dress she should have held the wedding elsewhere.

    • Is It 5:00 Yet?

      Yeah that dress is for the wedding night and honey-moon.

  • Guest

    who the F**k cares? Do YOU, be happy. END OF.

  • Just saying!!

    I usually think of myself as a nice, open-minded person, but every time I come to sites where I see comments like some of the ones on here I realize how much I strongly dislike irrational religious people. I’m sorry…I try not to go there…but DAMN. smdh *annoyed, disgusted, and moving on*

    • Chey

      Well I couldn’t tell!

  • Just saying!!

    That’s not right at all. If they paid for him to marry them then thats what he should’ve done. It’s not fair for them to have to go through all of that just to come out short and embarrassed. It’s not his wedding so it’s not for him to decide.

  • queenveal

    It was her day her dress and she wore it. It was not his place to be her judge and juror just a pastor and marry her dang. People take this whole religious stuff too far. He was wronger then two left shoes on two right feet. If she looked stunning to her groom that is all that matter i am sure she had a trail of some sort and It might not have been that bad. He who has not sinned let him cast the first stone. Only God can judge her.

    • Eric Jewell Hayes Sr

      Then perhaps she should have worn her dress on her day in her house.

      • Cookie

        It was not his place to judge. That is not a pastors role. He is to guide, counsel, and minister. Not judge and condemn.

  • I’m sayin tho

    I think the main point is a “Church” wether it be a large building, garage, anything is a house of God and a place of RESPECT. I think people need to actually fear that there is no respect anymore. If they considered a church for a place to be married, the attire should be appropriate. Where’s the modesty!? Kudos to the Pastor for not succumbing to this decision and standing his ground.

    • Virginia Tadrzynski

      I would like to know if this were a church that one of the families involved attended (either the bride or groom’s side) or whether or not they just when ‘church and pastor’ shopping when they wanted to get married. If it is the latter, then yes, the pastor overstepped as he was going to marry a couple he knew nothing of for $$$, If they were members of his congregation, and having met with the pastor, they should have known he was of a more conservative bent and the bride should have known to ‘cover up’ a little more. It is all a matter of which side this falls on as to’who’ acted out of turn.

      • Chey

        No. You’re doing too much. It is nothing more than a matter of respect for the church.

        • Miata C.

          Virginia has a point though. It is kinda irresponsible of the church leaders themselves to officiate a wedding for non-members without counselling them. Why would the church official(s) take the couple’s money without knowing whether they were following the principles of that church, then renege because he/they didn’t screen well prior to all the location planning and contract signing. This should have been discussed beforehand. It’s the point of negotiations in a contract. If it was a non-negotiable it should have been addressed upfront, before the couple relied on that agreement.

  • beryl

    on the pastors side with this one – he answers only to God and if he could not in good conscience conduct the wedding, then he did the right thing in standing up for his religious convictions. money is not everything, they could have rented a party hall if they did not want to follow church dress code.

    • Just saying!!

      oh PLEASE shut up. This is beyond money. He messed up their wedding day. God wasn’t going to bless their marriage any less because her dress was more revealing.

      • Chey

        Oh boo hoo. Go get married at a bar, park, stadium…anywhere but a church in that attire.

        • Just saying!!

          Boo hoo my ***. If they already spent all that money, he should have followed through. Otherwise, he should have made his requirements clear up front. No one has time for irrational religious people that think God needs their help. If God disapproves, HE’LL handle it. PERIOD.

          But I suppose I shouldn’t care….they’ll probably end up suing him anyway!

          • Trollolol

            Irrational people. You mean like the kind who can’t argue their point without cursing and using rude language like “shut up”, and capitalizing words. Oh wait….

      • Karina James

        And this is where the world is going completely wrong, just throwing tradition away and people feel that they can do whatever they want……I totally agree with the pastor for doing that. Let me just give an analogy here, let’s say she was going to a job interview dressed like that, qualifications and everything, and after the interview she she didnt get the job, who is to blame, she or the interviewer? She fully well knew when going into that interview not to wear that kind of clothing and the interviewer didnt have to tell her that because im guessing she has common knowlegde and knew to dress appropriately! It is the same way when the pastor blanked her, he didnt have to tell her to dress modestly for the wedding, she is supposed to know that, so what you are saying there is a bag of b*****t so get a life because you are dumb!!!!!!

      • Daffodil

        Oh please! She messed-up her own wedding. He tried to help them; he gave her opportunity after opportunity to put some clothes on and she didn’t. She wasted his time!

      • AlyssaMoh

        I think the bride messed up her wedding. There are high schools that aren’t even religious that wouldn’t let her set foot into prom with a dress like that, let alone a church (even if it was a converted shoe store).
        I’ll be her partner was in a suit. And if he was in a suit, that dress wouldn’t have complimented his attire, not would his attire complimented hers.
        That is the kid of dress (modified) you could wear to a beach wedding, or a park, or somewhere fun. Church… not so much.

  • nene

    I think the Pastor is dead wrong, especially if the couple already paid. Yes her dress was inappropriate, but he just shouldve dealed with it and married them anyway. Its not because that its a church that it means that everybody knows how to be dressed when you go to one.

  • ijs

    Where did she get the dress, Fredricks of Hollywood?? Lol

    • Logan

      Lol.. Yep. 2014 summer preview

    • ..

      “I’m a unique person, I chose this dress because it’s different than the
      traditional wedding gown you see at every wedding.”

      Translation: I couldn’t afford nun else.

      • Dee

        #Shade lmao

      • JerkJackson

        Haha! I read that too like Girl, bye! There are sooooo many unique wedding gowns out there. Nice try tho!

      • AlyssaMoh

        It was from Ali Express. They sell club wear.
        It is a wedding dress in the sense that, had she been married in it, it was a dress that was worn at her wedding, thus a … wedding dress?
        oh, and it’s… white?

  • Brooke

    Judge not lest ye be judged. Apparently this pastor hasn’t read that verse.
    The dress was inappropriate for a church wedding, but that doesn’t mean the pastor was right.
    She should sue this pastor for all of the money lost because of his foolishness.

    • Eric Jewell Hayes Sr

      That verse has little to no context in this situation.

      • Dante

        The verse does relate to the situation Mr. Hayes. It is quite obvious that the pastor was very judgmental regarding the style of dress the bride chose to wear, which is what dictated his decision not to carry out the marriage ceremony. I think the pastor lost a perfect opportunity to do some witnessing and to educate an ignorant person as to how important it is to dress more conservatively, especially in the sanctuary of the Lord.

        • Guest

          Actually that verse does not have anything to do with this situation. How is he judging because he held up a standard for the house of the Lord??? He refused to perform the ceremony because he refused to have two people make a covenant with GOD while dressing like a they are going to the club. There was no judging of her on his behalf.

    • Is It 5:00 Yet?

      Yeah it’s unfortunate that the couple’s wedding day was messed up, but the Bible also states in Timothy for women to adorn themselves in well-arranged and modest dress. The Scripture in Matthew about judging refers mostly to ones being overly self-righteous or trying to judge fellow Christians beyond what is written in the Bible. Dressing modestly is stated in the Bible and it is important that people professing to be Christians dress in a way that brings glory to God, not disgrace his name.

      • Cookie

        We don’t knows that she KNEW the Bible, you are assuming. Nor did it say she was professing anything. That pastor was being overly self righteous. NO ONE has the right to judge. He was suppose to be a pastor, not God himself.

        • That is All

          Well for one, most people fail to realize that marriage is a covenant ordained by God. If people don’t want to live by God’s standards, that is their choice, but there also is not true point of getting married.

    • mac

      I’m convinced the majority of people who are quick to throw around the word “judge” have no clue what it means.
      To judge is to form opinions or conclusions about a person or the character.

      “Judging” would be calling her a sl*t, immoral, or anything of the sort, which as far as we can tell, didn’t happen.
      He didn’t refuse to marry her period. He refused to marry her in what she was wearing.

      Enforcing a code of ethics or upholding a standard is not judging.

      • wadadlicat

        Bravo! Bravo! Someone with reason. Everyone says don’t judge but they don’t know what it means and its so true. The thing is everyone wants to live a “do as you please” life without anyone ever telling them anything and use the “don’t judge me” line as some sort of pass to continue “doing as they please”. Do people really think Jesus would have allowed her to actually continue the wedding dressed like that? Seriously??? He would have sat her down explained how her body is a temple of God and the whole nine yards and then he might have probably thrown his robe or whatever over her and let the ceremony continue. But I highly doubt that he would have given her two thumbs up after seeing the dress and say “ON WITH THE WEDDING”.

  • Bri

    Wow! Whether or not she knew “protocol” is irrelevant. There was an agreement made and money exchanged for a wedding to take place on August 10 at 3 pm. Unless there was some sort of contract stating that the style of her dress could be grounds for withholding services that she already paid for there should not have been any question about a ceremony taking place. This kind of stuff really bugs me about so called Christians. I am a Christian and when other “Christians” do things like this it gives us all a bad rep. I could really go in on this but I’ll just say Christ didnt come to be served but to serve others. He had compassion. Though the dress was inappropriate, the lack of compassion shown to someone who didn’t know better was even more inappropriate. Now this man is accountable for causing a sister and brother to turn away from the Lord. This was an opportunity for him to extend an invitation to this couple to come back to his church where he could have then ministered to them to bring forth an understanding, respect, and reverence for the house of the Lord.

    • Eric Jewell Hayes Sr

      In this minister’s mind she was desecrating the sanctuary which supercedes any contractual agreement. He’s sensitive of a contractual agreement of a higher order.

      • LaLaLaMeansILoveYou

        All due respect Mr. Hayes, but regarding your “contractual agreement of a higher order”, had it been a regular Sunday morning service, and a woman walked in off the street dressed similarly yet seeking solice, salvation, comfort, a word, WHATEVER, would it have been alright for him to put her out or treat her as disrespectfully as he did this bride?

        I can understand not allowing anyone to disrespect the house of the Lord, and had this pastor had this discussion regarding her attire BEFORE the day of the ceremony and she still showed up in the dress that would have been different, and certainly considered disrespectful, but that doesn’t appear to be the case.

        I think that what you church folks fail to understand sometimes is that everyone was not raised in the church (or wasn’t even raised RIGHT for that matter), and have ways that are different from yours. IMO just another case of “church folk preaching to and saving themselves instead of actually doing what God called you to do”. When the Lord comes I truly that a lot of you who think you’re going to heaven with Him are in for a rude awakening :-/

        • mac

          “I think that what you church folks fail to understand sometimes is that everyone was not raised in the church”

          Oh, spare me. You don’t have to have ever stepped foot in a church to know that dress was inappropriate. It’s barely appropriate for the club.

          But silly me, I forgot the #newrules. If a Christian chooses to stand on principle, then they’re being judgmental.

          Never mind the fact that calling someone judgmental is ironically judgmental in and of itself.

          • LaLaLaMeansILoveYou

            “You don’t have to have ever stepped foot in a church to know that dress was inappropriate. It’s barely appropriate for the club.”

            How about YOU spare ME. Barely appropriate for the club, according to WHOM? You? Exactly my point.

            Maybe if you’d actually taken the time to read my entire post, particularly the part that says “everyone was not raised in the church (or wasn’t even raised RIGHT for that matter), and have ways that are different from yours”. You my dear are the very definition of the word “judgemental”, look it up. And you’re correct, I’m EXTREMELY “judgemental” of all of you so called Christians who couldn’t even come close to being “Christlike” if Christ himself swooped down and handed you a play-by-play.

            Oh and by the way, a true Christian is supposed to stand on the Word of God, not their own “principle” as you so eloquently put it.

            • WWJD

              A true Christian does stand on the word of God and principles. That dress would not have been acceptable in any religion or consecrated building of worship; not in a mosque, a temple, a synagogue, the kingdom hall, no where would they have allowed her to get married in their place of worship accept the courthouse or some non religious chapel. Most ministers won’t marry non-members or they make them take premarital counseling at their church. I have also heard of pastors making bride and grooms sign contracts with them having to attend their church for a specific amount of time. I don’t know how I feel about this situation, I can’t imagine anyone wanting to wear a thigh high, open cut to your belly button dress for their wedding. What would Jesus do? I believe He would have made her throw on a shawl and then married them. Jesus called people out for their sins, He expected them to change. The bible teaches us about those expectations.

              • LaLaLaMeansILoveYou

                Very good point. I actually agree with most of what you said, but please explain what sin this woman committed. To me this was a matter of taste (bad taste I will agree), not sin. It was a judgement call, not a biblical matter. And IMO they both made bad choices, period.

                She wore a revealing dress, yes, but I just don’t think the pastor should have ruined her (and her entire family’s) day over it. As someone else said, that would have been a great opportunity to witness to her and educate her on proper attire for church.

                And as you stated, certain churches make couples sign contracts yes I’m aware, and they also sometimes ask to review the wedding party’s attire beforehand for approval so that situations like this can be avoided, and it doesn’t seem like the pastor covered all of his ground (especially with the couple being non-members who may not be familiar with the rules).

                Just as he had a right to stand by his principles, this couple has a right to sue the breaks off of him for ruining their day. I’ve seen a few brides sue (and win) for a whole lot less than this.

              • Eve God’sProperty Remy

                even the court house wouldn’t accept her to wear this

            • mac

              “And you’re correct, I’m EXTREMELY “judgemental of all of you so called Christians”

              Which makes your whole point null and void. Have a nice day.

            • mac

              “And you’re correct, I’m EXTREMELY “judgemental of all of you so called Christians”

              Which makes your whole point null and void. Have a nice day.

            • Trollolol

              Lol why are you allowed to be judgmental but not Christians?

            • AlyssaMoh

              High schools wont allow kids to wear dresses like that to prom.
              And we now know, factually, that churches won’t let you wear that either.

              Either way, waste of time for both parties.

          • Chey

            LOL I completely agree with you. People stay trying to justify wrong doing. Especially if it has something to do with God. People who claim to “not be very religious” suddenly know everything about the bible and what it says. Everyone wants to pick and choose what they want to live by.

        • mattstid

          The difference is Mary came to Jesus looking for salvation not to dishonor God and the house of GOD. I do believe there should be some expenses paid by the pastor or church for the money lost.

        • Cherylz

          Hold up Lalal ameans ilove you!! The pastor was doing exactly what God intended for him to do. There need to be more ministers like him. Most churches allow so much nonsense and bow down to the world ways that folks are blindly mistaken when truth is put in their face. do not take two circumstances and twist them to satisfy your opinion. THere is no way that dress should of been worn not only in the church but to stand before the presence of God to take your holy matrimony vows, don’t make me take you there. folks miss the point, THe church is God’s place, its where he dwells and you think you can walk in there any kind of way. NO. all the bride had to do was cover up the chest and add length. someone could of given her a shawl and some white leggings, or some darn pants, it was just to get pass the wedding ceremony. heck they could of ran to walmart and bought that. please, pray more cause the devil is pimping you folks mind. You been warned.

        • Daffodil

          You’re talking total fluff!!!

      • Nia

        I agree with you. It seems like today we (especially Americans) always look at money as the only factor. Not everyone worships money. I applaud him for standing up for his beliefs.
        I’m not sure why she wanted a church wedding wearing that dress anyway.

      • Guest

        I thought our bodies were the “sanctuary” of the Lord? This ‘pastor’ missed two opportunities ~ 1) the chance to possible have two new members and maybe new members from the guests at the wedding; and 2) a chance to counsel the newly married couple. I guess this ‘pastor’ does not do outdoor ministry because certainly most people on the street are not in ‘proper attire.’

        • Shannon Destinybound Williams

          That has nothing to do with what she wore!! We can have appropriate attire when it comes down to courtrooms and other places to that nature, but people expect the church to just accept anything!! The devil is a lie!! God is holy and I’m sure He wasn’t mad when the man of God stood for righteousness, because that dress would cause another woman’s husband to lust!! Which could’ve been avoided!!

      • Brandon Martin

        If he was really worried about his higher order contracts I would guess he wouldn’t be renting the sanctuary out like that. I’m guessing the same Jesus that over turned the money changers table wouldn’t be pleased about the house of worship being rented…

      • Anonymous

        It doesn’t matter what was in his mind. The church took her money therefore entering into a contract with her. It’s this type of behavior from the so called well intentioned “church folk” that keeps people away from the church. While I agree the dress was tacky and definitely nothing that I would wear inside of a church. His refusal may cost the church more money in the end. Is it fair to the church members to have them eat the cost because either the pastor or the person who took her money failed to state that her dress needed to be church appropriate? Would he have turned away a drunk on the street or an inappropriate prostitute seeking salvation?

    • cherlyz

      Really, Really!!! Why does the world feels that their are NO boundaries in the church or with God. Really!!!! Christians are not to succumb to this world in order to win a soul. NO, you are mistaken. Yes, we are to go out and win souls but not to compromise God’s teaching to do so. Jesus never did it and when things was not appropriate Jesus threw your butt out the church. Did you know about that story in the bible. The pastor is not accountable for causing them to turn from the LORD, they were already turned away. to even think that dress is appropriate is disgusting and I know she knew better than that. You don’t have to be a church goer to know the right clothing to wear in a church. She just figured like most backward thinking folks, we just wear what we want, its our wedding. Wrong, you are standing before God, rather in church or not and making a vow to God, creator of the marriage. Yall beter gone somewhere with this thinking.

      • Shannon Destinybound Williams

        Girl you betta preach!!!

      • dcta

        You know Cheryl, what’s really happening (to paraphrase you) is not that there are no boundaries in the church, but that there are no boundaries at all in society anymore!!!

        I’m not a church-goer, I was raised Jewish and I am barely a synagogue-goer! BUT it would never, ever cross my mind to go into a Church or any other house of worship in that dress. It would not cross my mind to go anywhere but to a club in that!!!

        I just get pretty confused when I see the way some people dress for work, or how they’re dressed when they show up for Jury Duty – you know you may be decided the course of another person’s life, you should show some respect simply because s/he is a human being! I just truly am surprised by the way some people present themselves.

    • Daffodil

      If you are a Christian then you really have no respect for the house of God that you say you serve or standards! I agree with the pastor; he shouldn’t have to compromise the standards of his church because some woman wants to dress as if she’s going to the beach in that skimpy, classless dress! Neither should he have to defile his eyes by having to look at her while performing the ceremony. It is offensive!! And I doubt that she didn’t know before hand what the standards were for dress. She would NEVER go into a mosque dressed like that because she knows she would be thrown-the-hell out! But the Christian church is always expected to compromise its standards. People just know how to quote the bible to suit their twisted purposes. Go attend a black tie function at the White House dressed like that; she’d never do it even if she was unaware of the protocol. Go to court dress in that filth and see what the judge would say. The pastor is right not to give her back her money; he turned up at the appointed time, gave her opportunity after opportunity to go put some clothes on and she wasted his time! Was there no one in the congregation wearing a tux that she could have used to cover-up? And yes, it is disrespectful for the other pastor to even think of taking the incumbent’s place. Lady Gaga, Rhianna or any of the other big names on the music scene would never let some unknown person sing in their place if they had some reason not to perform on the big night so why would he allow a total stranger to perform marriage rites at the pulpit he’s in charge of? He doesn’t know what this man believes, he doesn’t know if he’s truly qualified! Please, people, give me break!!!!

      • cherylz

        alright now!!!! Yes!!!

  • Candi

    I believe it is utterly disrespectful to tell the bride that her dress is inappropriate especially since she and her family paid for the church rental. He was paid to perform a wedding service. Not give fashion advice.

    • Eric Jewell Hayes Sr

      It was utterly disrespectful for her to wear a dress like that in a church. I’m sure he gladly returned her money.

      • LaLaLaMeansILoveYou

        lol…you see I know and read the Bible the same as you do sir. And I recall reading a story in it about the so called “religious leaders” of the time thinking it “utterly disrespectful” for Jesus to entertain a certain former prostitute by the name of Mary Magdalene, yet Jesus, being the Supreme being that he is, had enough sense to look at the bigger picture…he was trying to win a soul, and he accomplished just that.

        This preacher could have done the same thing, yet he was so concerned with being “disrespected”, as you seem to be also, and not only did he probably lose that person from ever attending his church or a church similar to his again, but more than likely her entire family, and anyone reading this article for that matter.

        That is where you and all of your overly churchy, religious, “fire & brimstone” preaching friends always fail. Quit making p your own rules…if it’s not in the Bible, then keep it to YOURSELF.

        Will all of the real, Christlike, truly saved church leaders PLEASE STAND UP??? Please?? smh

        • CheryZ

          you may READ the bible but your understanding is not that of a Christlike mind. the two are not alike. Jesus example of the prostitute was to inform people that EVERYONE is worthy of salvation. NO ONe is forbidden regardless of their status. He also set that example for children. Jesus do not allow disrespect in his church. Have you read the story of how Jesus walked in the church and folks were doing all kinds of things and Jesus threw them OUT!! they were disrespecting the church, it is not allowed. Christian and unchristians can not feel that the church must BOW to the worlds way to win their souls. I never read where Jesus compromised or stoop to the world’s way to win a soul. It is not in The King James Version of the Bible.

          • Truth Sparkles

            you are wrong. Jesus trashed the temple because they turned it into a market selling the animals for sacrifice and the priests were allowing it. It had nothing to do with the way the people were dressed. Granted the dress was inappropriate, but to cause such negative religious publicity is truly awful. God did not insist on any sinners he spoke with or had dinner with to first “clean up their act”. Even God’s word says what is the law with out love. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says to no dishonor or be self-seeking. This pastor could not have dishonored someone any worse than to humiliate this bride on her wedding day in front of family & friends, and he was certainly self-seeking in the way he chose to make a stand, especially refusing to let another minister perform the service. No wonder God dislikes religion and does NOT want his people to be religious. There were no fruitful seeds sown in that church around all those non-believers. Besides, the church is just a building, the people are the church in no way did this pastor represent Truth!

          • Truth Sparkles

            you are wrong. Jesus trashed the temple because they turned it into a market selling the animals for sacrifice and the priests were allowing it. It had nothing to do with the way the people were dressed. Granted the dress was inappropriate, but to cause such negative religious publicity is truly awful. God did not insist on any sinners he spoke with or had dinner with to first “clean up their act”. Even God’s word says what is the law with out love. 1 Corinthians 13:5 says to no dishonor or be self-seeking. This pastor could not have dishonored someone any worse than to humiliate this bride on her wedding day in front of family & friends, and he was certainly self-seeking in the way he chose to make a stand, especially refusing to let another minister perform the service. No wonder God dislikes religion and does NOT want his people to be religious. There were no fruitful seeds sown in that church around all those non-believers. Besides, the church is just a building, the people are the church in no way did this pastor represent Truth!

        • S Clarke

          As you have said: if you truly read you Bible then you would have known that this “former prostitute” did something that was acceptable to Jesus, otherwise she would not have a chance to do what she had done. Furthermore, there is no mention in the scripture of a dress issue there, so feel free to read my contribution above and make your comments…

        • Richard Kreitenstein

          Antinomian. You haven’t a clue as to the distinction between Law and Gospel.

        • ollifur

          Sorry, no one in their right mind enters God’s house wearing such a disrespectful garment. There does not need to be a written rule, (and there is one, BTW). Common sense and respect for being in God’s presence in His church should be sufficient. If she was unrepentant in her insistence on wearing that, the minister actually had no choice.

      • Racquel NW

        A church is just a building. It is no more holy than a gas station. Just because you have a bunch of people over your house for bible study doesn’t make it a house of God. If she had worn that dress to regular church service, it would have been totally inappropriate. It is her wedding and she has a right to wear whatever she wants. I don’t understand why non-religious people want a preacher, priest, minister, rabbi, etc to marry them; why don’t they just pay a judge or a notary to perform the ceremony. It is much cheaper to get a notary to marry you than a preacher.

        • http://www.henkor.co.za/ palminedible

          Its just sad that their money got wasted like that in the first place. No matter the dress, a church is a church and a wedding a wedding, at least they wanted to get married in stead of just forever living together. Shouldn’t that have been enough?

          • Richard Kreitenstein

            No.

        • Eve

          SHOW SOME RESPECT PEOPLE. FIRST OF ALL, I THINK A PASTOR SHOULD NOT PERFORM A WEDDING IF HE DOES NOT KNOW THE COUPLE ENOUGH. PLUS IF THEY ASKED TO RENT THE CHURCH AND FOR HIM TO PERFORM THE WEDDING HE SHOULD GET TO KNOW THEM FIRST AND OFFERED THEM COUNSELING. THE CHURCH OF GOD ITS NOT LIKE THE GAS STATION, I DONT CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAY. CHRIST DIE SO THE CHURCH CAN BE HOLY. YES, I KNOW ITS NOT THE BUILDING BUT THE PEOPLE THAT COMES TO THE TEMPLE MAKES THE CHURCH. SO THE TEMPLE NEEDS SOME TYPE OF RESPECT. JUST LIKE WHEN YOU GO TO THE COURT HOUSE YOU ARE REQUIRED TO DRESS APPROPRIATELY. SAME THING GOES FOR GOD AND SHOULD DEMAND EVEN MORE RESPECT.

        • cherylz

          ???????????????

      • kayer713

        I accidentally liked this post because I misread it. But I very much DISLIKE it. If the man marrying her didn’t have a problem with what his potential wife was wearing then it’s not a problem. It’s THEIR wedding that THEY PAID FOR.
        Funny how the church can accept “heathen” money but when she gets there paster is all high and mighty. They should repay EVERY GUEST AND EXPENSE if the canceled wedding.

        • Karina James

          This is where the world is going completely wrong, just throwing tradition away and people feel that they can do whatever they want. CAN YOU DO THIS IN ANY OTHER PLACE OF WORSHIP (MOSQUE, TEMPLE ETC….)?????…………I totally agree with the pastor for doing that. Let me just give an analogy here, let’s say she was going to a job interview dressed like that, qualifications and everything, and after the interview she she didnt get the job, who is to blame, she or the interviewer? She fully well knew when going into that interview not to wear that kind of clothing and the interviewer didnt have to tell her that because im guessing she has common knowlegde and knew to dress appropriately! It is the same way when the pastor blanked her, he didnt have to tell her to dress modestly for the wedding, she is supposed to know that, so what you are saying there is a bag of b*****t so get a life because you are dumb!!!!!!

          • james gandolfinis ghost

            DUMB^

        • S Clarke

          The question is: did she wore her wedding dress when the transaction took place?

        • S Clarke

          The question is: did she wore her wedding dress when the transaction took place?

      • Max Stone

        so far the pastor has refused requests for the money to be returned.

        • Ann

          This Is why I am not getting married it a church . He needs to give them the money back he did not do what they paid for this sound shady to me……

          • Shawnna Ramsey

            no one has said anything about a contract. We don’t even know if there was a breach. He may not even owe them anything, according to what was in their rental agreement.

      • Truth Sparkles

        My gosh, obviously she wasn’t a Christian. Where is the love that is above the law? This pastor acted not in love but rather like the religious Pharisees! No wonder God dislike His people to be religious. What a horrible witness it was to her group and now continues to the public. Just more people giving Christianity a bad name. Remember Truth comes before wisdom, and it certainly wasn’t in the choice made. Since 1988, I’ve chosen to worship in a Southern Baptist Church- a conservative one, however, I will worship at any Bible based church that does not water down scripture to keep from offending people, but as scripture says, “What is the law without love?”

    • guest

      Then if she wanted to wear something inappropriate for the occasion, then she should have rented an unholy venue and had a family member or friend marry them.

      • tilder

        God say come as you are. So why do people tell you what is right or wrong.

        • Chey

          Coming as you are and choosing to be “unique” to get married at a church are two different things. Come on now. Don’t play the role.

        • Fed-Up

          “Come as you are,” means your spirit man, NOT what you have on. The Bible also says that we are to “put a difference between holy and unholy, clean and unclean.” This is why the ungodly never takes the Church seriously, because a lot of pastors water down the Word and sacrifice the respect of God for a dollar. I admire this pastor.

    • Richard Kreitenstein

      The disrespect is toward God and His church by someone who would attempt to wear such a disgusting dress in the liturgy of Holy Matrimony. And when I say disrespect, in this instance, I’m speaking of gross disrespect. No church is/should be ‘for rent,’ and no servant of the Word should EVER be thought of as a hireling. That’s abominable.

    • james gandolfinis ghost

      There is no god, what the hell is wrong with you people? Just because
      this man chose to join the cloth due to the fact that he couldn’t get
      laid he has the right to ruin the most important day of this girls life?

      How sad. I hope just before he dies he realizes there is no god and that his life of masturbating with tiny choir boys and serving a fictitious character were all a waste.

    • C.C.

      Im sure she would not turn up at a party in three layers of clothing that covers her from head to toe, because she wants very much to conform to the “unspoken” rules of parties. secondly, from her explanation she knows some of those unspoken rules,after all the court houses have rules of attire and we respect them. Is man greater than the Creator now

  • Guest

    I think I would have just went out to the parking lot and had the other minister marry me. Family could have just gathered around the couple and proceeded with the ceremony. It’s not ideal, but it accomplishes the goal.

    • Guest

      I agree. There was no excuse on the bride and groom part to not go ahead with the wedding outside, move the wedding to a park, or backyard of a wedding guest, or go to the justice of the peace. SOMEONE would have married them that day! Makes me wonder if they should be married. Things DO happen for a reason, and that reason is not always what we think it is. :)