14 Things He Never Wants You To Pay For

August 22, 2013  |  
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Maybe your guy is okay with going Dutch on dinner bills sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you should be making it rain on every expense that comes your way as a couple. There are some things that, when you pay for them, make your man feel emasculated. Here are 14 things he never wants you to pay for.



The condoms

If you keep condoms in your own home, that’s responsible and thoughtful of you. However, your guy doesn’t want you buying condoms to bring to his place, or picking up a box on your drive to a couple’s getaway. Typically, if you’re anywhere other than your home, the guy feels the condoms are his responsibility.


The hotel room

It’s deeply embedded in a man’s genes to be “the protector”—for centuries men have been the ones building the roofs, and eventually paying for them. Something just doesn’t sit right with a man about his girlfriend paying for the accommodations. It’s his job to make sure you have a comfortable place to sleep. If you’re traveling together, pick up the meals or activities, but leave the hotel to him.


The gasoline

He does not want gas money from you. There’s something about driving a woman around that makes a man feel on top of the world…and there’s something about her trying to hand him a wad of cash at the gas station that makes him feel at the bottom of it. Pay for the snacks inside the gas station, but let him handle the actual mode of transportation. If you really want to pay for gas, then just offer to take your car in the first place.



A round for him and his buddies

If you’re out with your guy and a group of his friends, and your guy orders a round of drinks, don’t throw down your credit card the second the bill gets there, or secretly slip it to the bartender when your guy isn’t looking. He was trying to be “the man” by getting those for his friends, and you just stepped on his toes. And made his friends wonder if he’s broke.



Dinner on a double date

When there is another man there to impress, forget about it—keep your hands off your purse. Your man will feel humiliated if the other boyfriend on a double date throws down his credit card, and you pick up the tab for your half of the table. Let the men split it, and take your guy to lunch the next day.


Dinner with your parents

Your guy wants to make a kind gesture and invite your parents out to dinner. He lets them pick the spot because, well, they’re more “elderly” and have tighter specifications on where they’re comfortable eating. But, they pick a pricy place and you know your guy is on a budget. The last thing your guy wants is to appear incapable of taking care of your parent’s daughter. It will be painful, but let him pick up this big tab and just pick up the expenses for the rest of the week to make things easier on him.



Dinner with his parents

Unfortunately, you just don’t get to role reverse when it comes to meals with the parents. Your guy can and should pay for dinner out with your parents, but you should not be pulling out your credit card when you’re out with his parents. It will make everyone uncomfortable at the table—that’s two generations of men in the same family who you’re implying can’t afford dinner! Graciously thank whoever does pay, and bring them a nice house gift next time you see them.


Any cost he has to walk away from

Any time your guy is about to order/purchase something then once he hears the price has to say, “Oh, never mind…” and hang up the phone or walk away from the cash register, do not swoop in and say, “I got this.” This makes your guy feel like you’re his sugar mamma. Guys want to be able to fund their own lives—let him make do with what he has.


The tux for your plus-one event

You get invited to a wedding and are allowed a plus-one. Obviously you invite your guy, but because you know he’s tight on money and needs a tux, you surprise him by renting/buying one for him. NO! This makes him feel like he’s a responsibility to bring along, instead of a pleasure. Let him work it out—he can borrow a tux from a friend, or find a cheap rental place. But you’re not his mommy; don’t dress him.


A new dress for his plus-one event

Men just feel guilty if you’re spending hundreds of dollars on a dress all because they’ve invited you to a plus-one event. And yes, he does still think you look gorgeous in a dress he’s already seen you in. If you feel the urge to buy a new dress, buy one for your own occasion. But “shop in your closet” for this one.



The housewarming gift for his friend

If one of your guy’s friends has a house party, leave it up to your guy to get him a gift. You might want to remind him to (since men don’t think about that as often as women do) but don’t just go behind his back and get one. He’ll feel awkward handing it over to his friend, pretending it was his idea.



The birthday gift for his boss

This might be worse than secretly picking up a gift for the friend! Your boyfriend’s boss is someone he really wants to impress. He gives himself a pat on the back for getting a thoughtful gift for his superior. This is a man-to-man event: (unless the boss is a woman, in which case at least give your guy some tips) let him handle it.


The entertainment system he’s been saving up for

Or really anything your guy has been saving up for. Guys derive a lot of pleasure from working towards something, so if your guy comes home to find that giant plasma TV that he’s saved half the money for, wrapped in a big red bow and sitting in his living room, the wind will be knocked out of his sails.

Source: Shutterstock


Anything “couples”

Couple’s massage, a romantic couple’s themed night at a restaurant, a couple’s moonlight cruise…really anything with the word “couples” in it just because, well, men find these pretty cheesy.

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  • Toni

    Only a weak man can’t handle this stuff…

  • non_believing_granny

    This is straight, sexist NONSENSE.

  • Guest

    And let me guess, while men are spending their money on these things, women should spend their money on groceries and things for the house and kids, right? As a married woman, I find this list ridiculous. And when I was single, men paid for things but they also LOVED it when I would offer or treat them sometimes; it made them feel special – I think it was kind of a turn on. IDK, maybe men are different where you are.

  • SDW3

    I think this list is accurate depending on the TYPE of man you are dating. Nothing that she mentioned in this article means you’re not an independent woman or not a member of the modern age, but rather you are a woman who knows how to let a man be a man.

  • Bella

    Sh!t as high as gas is right now, I don’t think anyone is keeping tabs on who’s filling the tank up. People just want to get around.

  • Tyra

    Julia, this is a lie. Cause my Boyfriend NEVER Pays for his gas or when we go out. I’m always spending my money paying for things. This is frustrating. I’m clearly with a Bum.

  • iHM

    I don’t think the article is that bad, it’s true for the most part. Not so sure about that last one, but everything else I can understand. It might be a little emasculating.

    • Chari

      I actually agree. With my bf he never wants me to pay even when I offer to at least go half. Idk if its because of his culture or a pride thing but some guys in the 21st century are still like this. And I’m not complaining lol

      • iHM

        Lol, me neither!! There’s nothing wrong with a man wanting to help take care of his woman financially. If it makes him feel good, who am I to argue against it?

  • Janelle

    This is the most random shitt ever.

  • Kath

    Really? There are some new age men who do not mind you paying for his lip gloss hun, and no, he ain’t gay. I hate metrosexual men.

  • Nya Jacobsen

    Okay, so this article SUCKS. I would have to read it agian

  • A Man Who Doesn’t Mind

    As a man, I just wonder where you came up with these comments. I don’t know who you have dated, or consulted with, to come up with this list. But, it is just plain ridiculous! Where did you get the rationale for all of the reasons why a woman shouldn’t pay for these “14 things he never wants you to pay for?”

  • Team nymphis


  • callitlikeitis

    I don’t mean to sound mean but Julia Austin where do you come up with the stuff you write about? I’m not sure if you’re speaking from dating stand point or married one. The article would have been informational if you have written about “14 things you shouldn’t pay/do for for a man while dating/getting to know him”

    • original*ijs

      exactly! bc when i was single i was getting my own damn condoms i dont trust no man try to pull one over on me “i forgot” smh