UnbeWEAVEable! Pastor Bans Weaves From His Church

277 comments
August 19, 2013 ‐ By
pastor bans weaves

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Things just got real for the Resurrecting Faith church in Waco, Texas. A.J. Amir the founding pastor has banned the female leadership of his church from wearing weaves.

Aamir says women who wear weaves have low self esteem and he wants them to embrace who they really are.

Aamir told America Preachers: “Our black women are getting weaves trying to be something and someone they are not. Be real with yourself is all I’m saying.”

Aamir, who grew up in a strict Muslim household says he wants his congregation, where the average age of members is just 22 years old, to focus on what he deems as more important things than the hair on their heads. Aamir is also concerned that his parishioners are spending too much money on hair.

“Long hair don’t care. What kind of mess is that? I don’t want my members so focused on what’s on their heads and not IN their heads. I lead a church where our members are struggling financially. I mean really struggling. Yet, a 26 year old mother in my church has a $300 weave on her head. NO. I will not be quiet about this.”

Aamir is clear that he cannot legally ban anyone from wearing weaves, he still highly disapproves of it.

I know some folks are going to be mad about this one. And rightly so. We all have our own preferences and notions about different hair types but sometimes, it would really be best if we kept those thoughts to ourselves. Wearing weaves doesn’t  equate to low self esteem or that a person’s mind is inherently shallow or lacks substance, no more than it means  a woman who wears her own hair or is natural is somehow enlightened. At the end of the day, a person’s hair is only going to tell you so much about them. And perhaps that’s what Aamir is missing here. And furthermore, there’s just something so controlling and distasteful about a man telling women how they can and can’t wear their own hair. I understand Aamir is focused on the mental and financial well being of his staff and congregation; but he should really devote his time, energy and effort to feeding his members spiritually and trust that their beauty standards and financial decisions will line up, even if he doesn’t agree with them.

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  • Jade Campbell W

    I understand what the pastor said. However you can’t put every woman that wears weave in the same category. Next people are gonna ban wigs. Also wearing weave does not mean you have low self esteem. Some women do not like the natural hair styles. Also weave and serve as a protective hair style why growing your on hair. Now if your spending $300 on weave but can’t pay your bills or support your family that’s a concern. The church should focus on teaching financial peace. How to budget + manage what you have by saving and giving. The church should focus on educating members about retirement options and different types of investments.

  • MsDarcy

    This controlling manipulator needs to get a life and stop running his church like a harem. The problem is that people can’t think for themselves and depend on other people to them what to do. Wear your hair whichever way you darn well please. This man is a mentally ill control freak who wants your $300 to go in his pocket. I understand being a good steward. I wear my hair how I want, I am well-educated, confident and I also make a very good living.

  • Duni1

    I said this under a comment towards someone else but… If the pastor was worried about the finances of his church members, instead of harping on the grooming choices of some of his female congregants he should have had a finance consultant come in and talk to them about how to manage their money.
    What women do with their hair is none of his business. If someones hair choice was a big distraction, take them aside and have a talk about toning it down for church. There is such a things as modesty for church, but that is mainly for clothing.
    He needs to leave a womans hair alone. No one should have to feel ashamed of their hair when attending church.
    Mind you, black women take extreme care to look like the best thing since sliced bread when walking into church. Now he goes and tries to make them feel bad when they are trying to make themselves feel good?
    If that isn’t taking a swings at your congregants self-esteem… i dunnot what is. Next thing you know he is going to be admonishing, relaxer, press & curls and anything else he deems “unnatural” for a woman’s head. Preacher, its time to take a step back.

  • Kam

    Last time I checked wearing a weave or going natural is a personal choice. I hate the hair police they are no better than racists!

  • Kam

    Last time I checked wearing a weave or going natural is a personal choice. I hate the hair police they are no better than racists!

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  • Truth

    Good For Him!!! & the opinion about his decision in the 2nd part of this article was unnecessary.

  • Karin

    Men are always tryin to tell women what to do, Dependin on how great a leader he is, I’d keep the weave and lose that church!!!!

  • Kelli cali

    It’s very sad that in a way, the Pastor is wrong, and in a way he is absolutely right. A woman that is struggling and I don’t mean the normal struggle as in a 9-5 paycheck to paycheck. I’m talking about the on the county, living in the projects, no man, and lots of kids, that type of struggle. There are alot of women out there that get tattoos that costs money, get their weave that costs money, nails etc. The list can go on and on. But not once think about the rent needs to be paid, the children needs groceries, the car needs repairs, or some gas, and that list can go on and on too. BUT, the Pastor has no right to tell you how to live your life. Basically he is taking what God would do (move your heart) they way that he moved Pharaoh’s heart to do certain things. the more you are into the word, God’s word that is, the more you are inclined to do it God’s way. The pastor in this case, is not willing to wait on God to move you in the right direction. He is going to move you for Him, like God really needs your help. Sorry pastor you are dead wrong, and I hope and pray that God has mercy on you for attempting to take his glory.

  • Eric Goode

    I have read alot of these responses and I see comments from people who may not even be Pastors of a Church. Let me say that you never really know what the intent of a Pastor is. STOP basing your opinions on what you read. I commend the concern of this pastor; because he has a concern for his people. As a pastor, I want to help those who come to worship with me to know that I care, and if that means that I have to give them guidance on proper stewardship then that may be the case, but please leave your negative opinions to yourself about the Pastor. If you don’t agree, just pray for him and his leadership. In addition, the article said that he banned his leadership from having such in their head. No it is not about what you wear, but as people, there is a way we must present ourselves before God.

  • Eric Goode

    I have read alot of these responses and I see comments from people who may not even be Pastors of a Church. Let me say that you never really know what the intent of a Pastor is. STOP basing your opinions on what you read. I commend the concern of this pastor; because he has a concern for his people. As a pastor, I want to help those who come to worship with me to know that I care, and if that means that I have to give them guidance on proper stewardship then that may be the case, but please leave your negative opinions to yourself about the Pastor. If you don’t agree, just pray for him and his leadership. In addition, the article said that he banned his leadership from having such in their head. No it is not about what you wear, but as people, there is a way we must present ourselves before God.

    • Rosetta’s Stoned

      Please stop. It’s not that deep. Women removing hair extensions are NOT going to end low self-esteem. Its not that simple. There are more important issues that “we” need to concentrate on.

    • Zealand

      If this pastor was concerned for ‘his people’ then why is he specifically addressing women and not women and men about real issues?

  • k_miche87

    What the FUNK does Weave have to do with winning souls into the Kingdom??? This a Pastor who has lost touch. If someone is mismanaging their finances they will do so regardless. If they don’t spend the money on weave, they will spend it on something else they cant afford! It’s a mindset. Are women the only poor people in his church? As long as they are not robbing God and are bringing in their tithe and offering, the rest is none of his GOT-DANG BUSINESS. I have Natural hair, and having natural has been more expensive and time consuming than any weave I have ever got. Having natural hair doesn’t make you any smarter, better, or more enlightened than anyone else. HE needs to understand that it is not about whats on your head, its about whats in it. If you have low self-esteem that is a emotional/mental/spiritual problem and how you wear your hair has nothing at all to do with it…. God didn’t tell him to do that…He is all up in his flesh and his muslim background and upbringing. Now he made himself look like a fool!

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  • guest

    i wonder when he will take to task all the men that abandon their children ….seems like that might be a bigger problem in our community then weave…food for thought….

  • Act like you know

    Here’s my whole issue with him “banning” weaves…in my opinion, a weave, just like a $300, $400 pair of dress shoes is an accessory. Some people spend more on their accessories than others. Wearing a weave does not always indicate self esteem issues all the time and its so laughable that men have so much to say about it, when they don’t wear it. HOWEVER, he does have a point about priorities, if you can’t pay bills or afford to pay for you children’s needs or your tithes (IF you’re a Christian) but you rocking $300 dollar hair…something is wrong. He does have THAT part right, but to say that a weave is indicative of low self esteem in Black women is a stretch, to say the least, because nobody has anything to say to these men rocking expensive jewelry and high cost rims on their ride, but their bills aren’t paid and their kids aren’t being taken care of. Just MY opinion.

  • TheMizB

    OOOH……he’s gonna b hearing crickets come sunday morning.

  • kuku

    Yea and he should ban Jordans from Black Men and rims and weed and more becuase ya know.. they be spending a fortune on Jordans and aint got no job…. no high school dimploma…. no damn sense… LMAO and all these black men who are on here commenting about black women need to get a life…. go find a white woman and have a nice day… chances are black women don’t want your no job, no education, no goal having A** anyway. :)

  • fefe

    This whole situation is jacked up. The Pastor should be focused on bigger issues and yes it is dumb to spend $300 on weave and you can’t pay rent…. sigh….. my people….Black folk need to get it togehter….

  • Jocelyn James

    Seems ridiculous to me! If there’s a god, chances are it cares way more about way more important things than hair weaves.

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  • black man

    Some of you women comment like you are offended I hope so maybe you never missed a meal or had clean clothes to attend school because your mom has had to get her hair done every week. I’m pretty sure the pastor wouldnt bring this issue up if those women weren’t trying to borrow money ask for assistance from the church but always have the latest hairstyle

    • rosetta’s stoned

      LOL. Wait. your mother made you go hungry because she had to get her hair done? CTFU!!!!!

      • Embarressed byweavwearers

        I see why some men have a hard time calling some females women. Women now a days exhibit so many male traits i.e. insensitivity- that used to be a uniquely male attribute.

        • fefe

          and men exibhit bitchness…. emotional… and fighting like puss***……. just saying…. by the way… are u a man?

  • black man

    Amen pastor now I wanna see how many other churches follow his lead let’s get these women of the congregation on a path of humility and doing for others as opposed to hairstyles by the Asian community which actually isn’t too fond of black men and women

    • black man as well

      Yes asian people are not to fond of black men and women and white women are not too fond of black women. They are very disrespectful and feel it is okay because they date black men. I mean if we goin talk about black women and weave lets talk about some other issues too…..

  • IAJS

    I’m tired of seeing long weaves with a middle part and wand curls, personally.

  • IAJS

    Watch these women get mad, don’t tell a woman the truth!

    • rosetta’s stoned

      Whose truth are you speaking of? lol

      • IAJS

        The truth that most of these men hate weaves and they certainly don’t like paying for them. But yet women walk around as though they cannot be seen in public without yaki on their head.

        • rosetta’s stoned

          You a man? If you are there is an up and coming fight between Mayweather and Canelo. thats something you should be discussing. Hair, Make-up etc is for us girls. know your place.

          • IAJS

            What would make you think that I am a man? I am a woman, and a hairstylist at that so this is my lane.

          • IAJS

            And why wouldn’t this be a topic be for a man? They try to express their feelings all the time yet women don’t listen and wonder why they are single. Be you and stop looking like two different people when day turns into night time.

            • Rosetta’s stoned

              Men need to concern themselves with MALE issues and stop trying to find ways to nit pick what bw do with their hair. I’m hip to that game. trying to act as if they are so concerned. Girl bye. there is NOTHING to be concerned about when it comes to ANY womans hair. Dont be simple and fall for the okie doke. Bm have HUGE issues with their manhood and self-esteem so in order for them to flex their authority, they try to pick on things with bw ie. weaves so they can feel like they are putting us in our place. The fact that you and many other simple women are falling for this is quite sad.

              • IAJS

                The fact that you find power in someone else’s hair is quite sad. Just so we have this straight I am a black woman who has a strong black man, who loves and takes care of his family and loves touching my natural hair without tracks and glue. I am not clueless and this is why I have clients they come to me because I teach them how to take care of their hair and health. So no you are the one falling into the trap dear.

  • Oneness

    Let’s get real… Asian, White, and Latina weave-wearers wear weaves that mimic their natural hair textures. They are NOT buying and wearing Afro or curly textured weaves. When AA women buy and wear Asian, South American and other types of straight hair they are promoting a Eurocentric standard of beauty that promotes straight hair in movies, advertisements, Hollywood and the like. When we consistently glue or attach another group’s hair on our head and rarely/never “choose” our natural hair, then we are also teaching our AA sons and daughters to idolize straight hair and that their natural hair is not as beautiful. I have done this myself so understand the plight. I have also seen my teen son’s and daughter’s appreciation for my natural hair texture increase dramatically since I started wearing a chemical and weave-free hair style 3 years ago. Most other groups only wear a foreign texture of hair on their heads during Halloween or costume parties – not as a “normalized” aspect of every day/yearly life. Hair is a billion dollar industry (with a huge portion going one-way from the AA community to non-AA businesses) and hair IS a big issue in our community.

    Adults should be able to engage in a conversation without succumbing to the “they do it to” bandwagon fallacy. The pastor in the article cannot legally enforce his preferences on others – I get that point. However, we should be able to discuss this matter realistically and accurately without pretending that AA women are in the same boat as other women when it comes to weave-wearing. I have yet to see White, Latina or Asian women wearing naturally kinky/curly or afro weaves to work – and especially not for years straight. I am an AA women and have AA friends who have never worn their natural hair in public ever! This psychological dependency and inability to accept and appreciate our natural hair texture is unique to Black women. Black women are the only group of women I know of who don’t know how to care for their hair in its natural state. While Asian women, for example, may have highrates of cosmetic surgery to reduce/remove eye folds, the widespread dislike and lack of skill in styling our natural hair is unique to Black women. I love my natural hair more and more as I learn about it as a 41 year old woman. However, I, like the majority of AA women, was indoctrinated to think my hair was problematic or “not good hair” when in fact it is one of my most regal aspects now that it has been allowed to freely grow and unfold. I agree that women can choose to wear their hair how they wish. I also know that repeated choices show others what you value. I also know that the outer is indeed a reflection of the inner – what is on top of one’s head consistently is related (not separate from) what is in the person’s head. Women (and men) who attend the church in question should affirm their rights and leave the church if needed. Nonetheless, let’s discuss the hair issue in healing-promoting and truth-seeking ways that acknowledge the pain/hurt and despair too many Sistas feel about their natural hair. Oneness!

    • realtalk

      Thank you. We’ve taught the world that our natural hair is not desired and that we will pay any amount, debase and de-value ourselves in the process and uplift someone else’s economy to maintain these false standards of so-called beauty.
      And then vehemently deny it.
      So sad. So very sad.

      • Oneness

        Yes, we have taught others that we do not value our natural hair and that our natural hair won’t grow long. My hair(& my teen daughters’) have grown almost 9″ over past 3 years since being chemical-free and weave-free. We went into a local beauty supply store (in majority AA neighborhood) and 2 interesting things happened: 1) an older Asain woman working there complimented me and then asked what tupe of hair did I add to mine (assuming my natural hair couldn’t be beautiful). When I responded, “the type that grows out of my head,” she looked sincerely perplexed. She then asked, “Why you don’t want silky hair?” 2) Since my purchase was small (less than $3) I went against my better judgement
        sisters laughed. I left without making a purchase. The saddest part of the ordeal was how little the business which catered almost exclusively to AA women respected

      • Oneness

        Yes, we have taught others (implicitly through actions like constantly choosing weaves and adding chemicals to erase/change the natural texture instead of learning to effectively and beautifully style our natural hair and explicitly through negative comments about our natural hair) that we do not value our natural hair. We have also been mislead to believe, and now others believe it too, that our natural hair won’t grow long. My hair (& my teen daughters’hair) has grown almost 9″ in length and very full over past 3 years since being chemical-free and weave-free. We recently went into a local beauty supply store (in a majority AA neighborhood) and 2 interesting things happened: 1) an older Asian woman working there complimented my hair when I entered and then asked, as if fascinated, what type of hair did I add (assuming my natural hair couldn’t be beautiful). When I responded, “the type that grows out of my head,” she looked sincerely perplexed. She then asked, “Why you don’t want silky hair?” It was if she suddenly felt fear about what might happen to her business if more AA women decided to stop purchasing hair from her son’s store. I was appalled at her audacity but out of my respect for elders only replied, “no thank you. I like my texture” and walked away.

        2) Since my purchase was small (less than $3) I went against my better judgement and stayed in the store to purchase the small plastic caps I was there to get. The male store owner (who was at the cash register when I walked up) looked at me, my small item and rudely tried to have me wait while he chummed it up with sisters at a side counter asking about weaves (more money for him ). I was surprised that this man who’d been friendly to me years ago when I made large purchases was treating me like crap now. After about 1 minute I turned and said hello to the sisters and I said to the owner (who had now walked over to the side counter near the weaves), “excuse me but can you complete my purchase since I was being helped first?” He basically ignored me and the sisters snickered and he continued to show them different weaves and then he , sounding annoyed, shouted towards me, “just a minute Ok!” Needless to say I left without making a purchase. The saddest part of the ordeal was how little the business, which caters almost exclusively to AA women, respected their customers. The owner was clearly about money and not about fairness, basic customer service, or even basic respect. I walked out without making the purchase and never went back. I was most sad at the role that I and others like me had played for years in accepting such disrespect and teaching others that I wanted a different texture of hair so badly that I’d kill/weaken my own hair (with chemicals), suffocate it with hair from someone else’s head, and even pay someone a hefty price to provide me the tools to do so. So yes, I agree that we have taught the world that we do not desire our natural hair.

  • Deon Black

    If you don’t tithe then you don’t need to be paying for weave in your head

  • Weave Wearing Diva

    As a woman who recently had to begin regularly wearing a weave to strengthen my hair I find what Pastor Amir has said insensitive. Instead of concerning himself with his staff’s hairstyles Pastor Amir should maybe focus on offering his congregration financial guidance through workshops so that his members can make better choices concerning their fiances,

  • Cynthia Robinson

    Perhaps he could use the cost of a weave as a an example in a sermon about fiscal responsibility (if he’s brave enough) otherwise he should stick to saving souls with the Word otherwise his flock may flee.

  • childofjesusrose

    I’m a black woman who usually wears wigs though but I get what he says, I think I agree with what he says!

  • PoliticallyIncorrect

    I can just hear his congregation now

    “oh no you didn’t!”

    • Yvonne Watkins

      LOL.

  • Alex

    All I have to say is why don’t he stop driving his car and start taking the bus, stop buying out lunch and start planting your own food and cook it, stop buying designer clothes, stop touring at other countries, stop buying fancy jewelry.

  • HonestBrotha1911

    I understand the logic. If you’re in “need” the idea of spending hundreds of dollars on a weave may seem stupid. That said I think he’s painting too broad a picture. He’s attaching a superficial tag to something that could (for many women) be an investment. If they believe the weave improves their appearance how can anyone argue against it? Whether you want to talk about employment, love or self-esteem the fact is your appearance matters. I get what he’s trying to say but I can’t sign off on it.

  • Ronaldo De Andrade

    VISTO

  • Concerned Reader

    Where are the pastors telling black men to stop murdering innocent black women? One thing God HATES: hands that shed innocent blood. Did you read that in your Bible, Aamir?
    How many black men are in jail or were executed for murder compared to how many black women?
    Stupid, silly little girls who call themselves “black men”.

    • Embarressed byweavwearers

      Oh yeah baby…give it to me baby..that’s it! That good ole divide and conquer mentality. I bet willie lynche is bustin nuts in his grave over you right now! And know I’ll play your game and ask what about all the sistas that be having baby and don’t who the daddy is..let’s just forget about the topic at hand and just start bashing each other- I’m sure that will get us very far.

      • Guest01892

        ooooooohhhhh did concerned reader strike a nerve for ya embarressed byweavwearers. tell em this… what type of men spends all his time on a blog about weave responding to people….???? ohhhhh u must be one of them DL brothas…. got it… nvm…. carry on… :D LMAO

      • Guest01892

        You did it in one of your reply’s above. Basshed women… or have you forgot cuz u been on this blog like white on rice….??? hmmmmmm

  • Zealand

    Too often, religious people lack the ability to be logical.

    • rosetta’s stoned

      Yup.

  • LADYE

    guess somebody don’t like me posting that black women are beautiful without weave and that I agree with the pastor, some women are junkies for weave, spending a thousand on hair and a good install, like they got super star money, but will throw a scarf over their own hair until they can get another weave. what kind of message is that sending to our daughters who look at their moms face light up when they have their wig, tracks, etc in of Indian or European type hair but when the just have their own, act like that don’t even want to look at it, its spreading self hate down generations. self hate of loving your hair just the way it is, does any other ethnicity do this?. and as for the boys you send that message to, well… we all see how black men are talking about black women these days, and what they are doing, I’m not saying you shouldn’t get them at all , to each their own, but some women don’t feel pretty unless they have a someones else s hair on their head and that’s messed up. I agree with his method, sometimes the only way you can get someone to see they are beautiful just the way they are is if you get rid of the crutch, and weave is a crutch for many, so I think this is a positive step in the right direction. I said this before but my comment was taken down for some reason. lol.

    • Zealand

      It’s because you thinking that ‘black women are beautiful without weave’ is irrelevant.

      • LADYE

        No its because women like you cant go out with out a weave, or some blonde mess on your head with out feeling like you look good, but when you do cant no body tell you ish. and its also because this website heavily promotes weaves, wigs etc. on top of the other B.S. aint got to get mad at me, would you say that to the black men having “no lace front fridays” at the clubs? calling black women weave headed, hat haired, bald head ho*s? nooooooo.bet you not.! lmao. or the ones that say they have mixed kids so their kids can have “good hair” and wont need weaves? i think not lol. and where did they get these ideas from? from lfe experiences of all black women a around them. relaxing. pressing, weaving wigging, fusing, etc, to burn in their brains this is what beauty is. and if you think this is not a fact, you are delusional, and stupid. before I got my second degree i took classes in psychology, gave speeches did surveys and did speeches on it, because that’s what I had the most experience in.and in books they dedicated almost whole chapters on black people. it was so sad. but ya’ll prove it’s true every day.

        • Zealand

          Wait a minute! Women like me? I don’t even wear weaves. For someone who has two degrees, you should be able to create an argument that doesn’t rely on assumptions and name calling.

          TRY AGAIN!

        • PhenomicalWomen

          While I have a master’s degree as well and have worked with many clients in the non-profit world as well… I don’t every remember in psychology to degrade individuals becuase of the lifestyle they live. Nor, have I ever seen a whole chapter dedicated to black people wearing weave…… or just downing black people period…. what book is that? Yes we have a lot of issues in the black community and no degrading and insulting them will not solve anything….. what University/college did you go to? I am not being facetious I really want to know where they are teaching this behavior… and where they have books like that….

          • Londa

            Lol yea me too! I want to read that book too!

      • LADYE

        if anyone’s opinion was irrelevant their wouldn’t be forum for comments don’t you think? or do you think at all. it wasn’t a question, your comment answered already..

        • Zealand

          I noticed that you didn’t address my other comment and you wrote ‘their’ instead of ‘there’ Are you sure you have two degrees, and studied psychology?

          “if anyone’s opinion was irrelevant their wouldn’t be forum for comments don’t you think? – Ladye

          I didn’t say your opinion was irrelevant to this discussion, so the above question does not get answered.

          In general, whether or not you think black women are beautiful
          without weave is irrelevant, because what you think is beautiful doesn’t mean you get to police what women do with their own hair.

          You got it?

          • LADYE

            DO you have it, the state I made, that every one makes when commenting on a story is their OPINION. and you said it was irrelevant. MY statement (keeping up, because its simple ;o) , In the initial statement (opinion, if you still dont get it) I said I agree with him, and I explained my OPINION of why black women and weaves have gone to far etc… How does my opinion about hair, not correlate with my statement(opinion) about the story about weave. You,,my dear, are making it so complex, when its was so simple, and you could have just used what some one should have told you long ago..if you dont have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself. Your negative statement became irrelevant because it was made without just cause BECAUSE:, MY statement was MY opinion, about HAIR, on a story about HAIR WEAVE. gosh, lmao.bet you still dont get it, lol. nevermind, lmao

            • Zealand

              “DO you have it, the state I made, that every one makes when commenting on a story is their OPINION. and you said it was irrelevant.”

              NO, I DID NOT!

              Are you sure you have two degrees? Your grammar and spelling is awful and you lack basic reading comprehension.

              “In general, whether or not you think black women are beautiful without weave is irrelevant, because what you think is beautiful doesn’t mean you get to police what women do with their own hair.” – Read this over and over.

              • LADYE

                lmao. no you backing down on your own statement. wow,, brings me back to what I said before. and you could have avoided all of this, if you dont have anything nice to say keep it to yourself. I bet you’re like this with your whole life. I back like you into corners for a living. scratch that, like you wish you could be… go play with someone else. bored now. next.rotffl

                • gegegigigi

                  whats your job?

  • Tootrue

    I must admit, i am with the pastor on this one and i see his point, but taking it deeper, i think black women seem to have hatred for themselves and how God created them. You meet a black woman and nine times out of ten she has fake hair, nails, eyelashes, contacts, boobs and even a fake hip and butt. Seems to me they are subconsciously saying that what God made isn’t good enough.

    I know some women 15yrs now and i have never seen their hair. some have damaged hairlines, damaged nails..etc. From a economic point black peeps consume everything and manufacture nothing. We need to stop this subconscious self loathing.

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      Sooo should I tell my white co-worker with the “fake” blonde hair, and “fake” french tip to stop hating herself?

      When people like you make these sweeping judgements your argument becomes disingenuous when you don’t separate normal cultural beauty practices from those of an individual suffering body dysmorhpia.

    • Zealand

      Why would you ever concern yourself with whether or not you have seen someone else’s hair?

  • Concerned Reader

    Black women, here are some long haired black women on YT, some of who have the best education on how to grow very long black hair:
    Kimmaytube
    Sera2544
    longhairdontcare2011
    sunshower143
    aliciajamesmusic
    haircrush……

    Also visit fotki.

    Abandon these inferiority complex ridden black boys.

  • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

    He’s like; “If homegirl is wearing a $300 weave how in the world is she going tithe?” “shoot I got a Benz payment to make each month she’s just being selfish!”

    I’m playin, but if his congregation follows him that’s their business.

  • Fair and Balanced

    His upbringing says it all furthermore, he is probably more concerned about money spent on hair could be going into the church coffers for himself of course.

  • Concerned Reader

    Wow, I just read through the comments and I cannot believe how stupid some black men still are. First of all:

    BLACK WOMEN DO NOT WEAR WEAVE TO LOOK WHITE. Only an uneducated loser who just repeats the nonsense he hears would say that. The one time I wore weave was because I cut a portion of my hair in an unflattering manner and had to cover it up until it grew back! Did a reason such as that ever run through your brainless heads? You can also wear weave as a protective hairstyle while growing your own hair. EVERY OTHER RACE OF PEOPLE HAVE STRAIGHT HAIR! Chinese, Indian…..Yet all you idiots can think of is “white”! LOL! Don’t you see how brainwashed and stupid you are? White people have taken over your heads! EVEN IF A BLACK WOMEN HAS WEAVE, HOW DOES SHE LOOK EVEN REMOTELY WHITE? Does she wrinkle her skin, does she subtract all of her colour until only paleness is left, does she flatten her butt, does she remove her cheekbones, does she thin her lips? These are all basic, visible traits of white people that I don’t see being copied by – anyone. Brainwashed black people, especially men, are so focused on white people, their brains have atrophied.

    These are the most obvious things of all that you are ALL missing. Long hair is a beauty trait (some faces look terrible with short hair), a smaller nose looks neater than a bigger nose (only certain facial structures look good with a bigger nose), coloured eyes can sometimes look nice.
    Did it not occur to ANY of you that black women (and all other women) do these things to enhance their beauty, and it just happens that SOME white people also have these traits?
    To explain further, you are saying that black women should not explore whether long hair suits them better than short or keep a too large nose (if it is) for people to insult, just because you think a white person owns it! LOL!
    You also miss that the worst plastic surgery disasters are white women, yet no one talks about their low self esteem. THINK!

    Black women, just go on to YT (kimmaytube) or search Google and learn how to grow your own hair past waist length, then see what these poor black boy babies will whine about next.

    • Embarressed byweavwearers

      If you’ve only worn a weave once in your life- exactly how are you an expert on the topic??
      So since all other races have long straight hair you as a black woman want it too? I don’t exactly see the justification in that. So that would mean black women all throughout history have sported long straightened hair from time to time..I think not- call me ignorant (which I’m sure you will in one way or another), but I’d wager the phenomenon of straightening one’s hair to achieve beauty is a trend that arose after black women got to America.
      Not every sista who wears a long weave is trying to look ‘white’, hell they could be tryin to look a quarter Indian or a third Asian, but we do know they aint tryin to look natural black with a weave down to they behind.
      What I do know is sistas will defend those weaves to the death! One doesn’t change their natural state in order to achieve beauty unless they’ve led to feel&believe that their natural state isn’t beautiful enough.

      • Concerned Reader

        Are you a black male? If you are, exactly how are YOU an expert on the topic of weave? By the way, that logic is stupid. I know plenty of black women who wear weave.

        Where did I imply that I want long straight hair like other races of women? Reading comprehension please.

        Hair does NOT make your face beautiful… your facial structure does. Straightening your hair CANNOT make an ugly face beautiful. You are talking foolishness. Having your hair in a way that suits your face, be it short or long, can ENHANCE your beauty not “achieve” it. WTH?

        “sista”? WTH is a “sista”? I guess that is a term black people of a certain place call black women, right? Do you have any idea how stupid it sounds? The way you and other black males are referring to these women… is that how you would treat a SISTER? smh.

        Why would a black woman want to look Indian, or Asian, or the other crap you mentioned? Most black women are beautiful naturally. I’m speaking about the ones who are actually beautiful, not the ones who are pitied.

        You are an uneducated fool and I have no idea why I am talking to you. BLACK WOMEN CAN GROW LONG HAIR DOWN TO THEIR BEHINDS NATURALLY. I’m laughing right now. This is why you group are so damn stupid, yet you argue on here so piteously like you know something. You spend your lives on these boards bashing black women, while they move ahead with education, and laugh at what unintelligent morons you are. Educate yourself on how black women know how to grow their own hair and then hang your head in shame.

        Once again, changing your hair does not make you beautiful. I know a black woman with SHORT hair, nice DARK brown skin, huge, nice breasts and a huge, nice butt, and a face more beautiful than whoever the media thinks is “most beautiful”. Like Halle beautiful. And she is poor. No one says she isn’t beautiful because she doesn’t wear weave. I am sure someone already told you that weave can be a great protective style and is easier to manage after application than natural hair! You are a brainwashed fool. Give me a real fight!

      • Concerned Reader

        Your name concerns weave when you have much bigger problems: black males being the most uneducated of the race and the one of (if not the biggest) group of murderers of all races.
        Yet, where are your priorities? Weave.

        Silly girl (yes, I mean that).

      • Concerned Reader

        I am tired of repeating the same things over and over to you. You are brainwashed. You are brainwashed. You are brainwashed.

        You can’t see that you are. I thought I was explaining things to you in a way that was simple enough:

        There are good reasons to wear weave (I gave you some), natural hair is hard to manage (my own, even though fairly long, is; and straight hair IS EASIER!), almost every other race has traits that uneducated black males like you claim are “unique” to white people. THEY ARE NOT. THEY ARE NOT. Thus, saying that they are, is the mark of an uneducated person, like you. Thus saying that black woman is trying to be like white is the mark of a brainwashed person repeating the same nonsense MADE UP BY WHITE PEOPLE for the reason of keeping the race at loggerheads. Why would a black women want white features? WHY? Did you actually research to see that the worst plastic surgery disasters are white women? Research and stop embarrassing yourself on the internet.

        And, I don’t think that black males are murderers and uneducated. IT IS TRUE! Research! It is a huge problem that needs to be tackled, instead of you acting like girls, being concerned about weave! You are pathetic!

        • Embarressed byweavwearers

          You’re bitterness is disgusting and your self hatred is painfully in full view.
          There are obviously justifiable reasons for wearing weaves. No one’s knocking people suffering from hair loss or any similar health related issue that call for cosmetic remedy. I think it should go without saying the critique is directed at the women who suffer a junkie-like addiction to buying/wearing weaves, hairpieces tracks, or whatever. (This should be basic logic so you arguing that point was a waste of keystrokes and remedial information at best.) Now back to the lesson at hand.

          You continue to delude yourself by assuming that there are mythical magical black people in land of Africa, or some other fictitious place on the globe, that the grow bone straight hair many black women emulate today. No matter what you chose to tell yourself the trend of black women straightening their hair for beauty purposes stems back to slavery.

          “To answer your question (which you obviously have not taken time consider critically)..Some black women may want the features of white women or women of other cultures possibly because since we were introduced to this country they’ve been indoctrinated to believe they were unattractive, undesirable, and unwanted by American society (same can be said for black men).

          They are repeatedly displayed as angry, bitter, confrontational etc. ect. Some black women despite claiming to have good self esteem and to be proud of their ‘blackness’ subconsciously buy into these depictions and as a result attempt to change or alter their appearance to appear ‘less black’ (as if it were even remotely possible).

          After generations of this behavior being passed down, eventually young black girls begin to register this practice of self alteration (in many case self mutilation) as a part of their ‘culture and identity’. When you challenge this practice, you in turn attack the ‘identity and culture’ as they have been socialized to adhere to it- consequently the see it as an attack on them.”
          Of course this applies to some not all. Hope that sheds a little light on your ignorance.

          Furthermore…If you believe what you say about black men it goes without saying you don’t have any ongoing relationships with black men since they’re all uneducated murders. The self hate that your assertion displays is a sorely powerful testament to efficacy of white supremacist indoctrination. White folks in Jim Crow days didn’t need corrupt judges, they needed a 2013 version of the brainwashed sellout that is you as you’ve displayed here in this forum. I hope in your current state of mind you don’t have to the power to affect the lives of any young black men in whatever it is you do with your life.
          You don’t know me, so what you say has no effect especially when you’re so ridiculously off base with your assumptions, but you do know your father (well I hope you do), and even if you don’t you know you came from one…as did every one that you are able to call family. The fact that you would disrespect the men in your family past and present by bashing all men with your media induced propaganda is a GD SHAME. I can only imagine what you have been through to see things this way- and my heart truly aches for my SISTAS in the same position. I don’t wish pain sorrow or misery upon anyone because I know what it feels like.

          Now..Let’s speak on brainwashing.

          The fact that you stand by all of the foolishness you assert and spew it with such venomous passion, all while maintaining your foolish pride, is proof positive white folks have planted a seed in your brain that you are completely unaware of. If I sit here and curse the tree I fell from what must I truly think of myself?!? Truly a strange fruit..

          With all that said I don’t blame you. You were a child, and obviously somebody didn’t teach you well enough- the pitiful case study you just provided for us here is exactly why I am present for me and mine. I’ll be dammed if I leave mine to hurt and allow them to hate me. Not allowing them to know me and to get a fabricated version of what they think I might be like from the movies and TV.

          Funny thing is, that quite contrary to the myth, I know scores of Black Men who feel the same way..after knowing what it feels like to not have fathers they’ll be damned to leave theirs behind. But chicks like you get caught up believing the hype.

          You make your own look bad, very bad.

    • Embarressed byweavwearers

      Problem is you’ve adopted and accepted a european model of beauty.You even talked down on the big nose SMH…I wonder where you got that idea from. My nose is big and wide and I am handsome as hell. Now if I accepted a european model of what is hott I might not feel that way.
      I can feel your bitterness through the screen when you spoke of people asserting that you wanna look white,(because you are a proud black sista right?) but then you described white traits as beautiful and said you want to enhance your beauty presumably by adopting these these traits. That’s cognitive dissonance at its finest. How can you be proud and black yet striving to achieve the beauty traits that you admit are natural in SOME white women? So at the end of the day it can be said that you’re trying to adopt traits that natural to white women. So if a white a white girl sports cornrows or starts wearing a fro…?
      That must be a f***ed up feeling – hating white people,or at least having a healthy disdain for them, yet STILL chasing features that are unique to them.

  • Sheryl Lyles

    Some people have meadical problems this is so stupid when did become God. There are many reason why people wear weaves he has issues SMH . I WOULD NEVER ATTEND HIS CHURCH I THE BIBLE IT SAYS COME AS YOU ARE , IT SAYS NOTHING AT all About Hair or ANYTHING ELSE . THIS IS CRAZY THATS WHY I LIKE MY CHURCH YOU DON,T JUDGE . SOME PEOPLE DO WRONG

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  • Concerned Reader

    It is abundantly clear that this moron got his education from the ice cream truck. Tell me, EXACTLY how is getting weave trying to be something or someone you are not? Think. Really do that, because I am not the one to be argued with by some brainwashed robot.

    How exactly does he know that the mother’s weave costs $300?

    JUST. LEAVE. THE. CHURCH. There is nothing wrong with wearing weave. There is nothing wrong with wearing weave.

    I actually educated myself about black hair, unlike this moron, and weave can be used as a protective hairstyle while growing your own natural hair.

    This stupid boy Amir cannot tell a woman what to do with her hair.

    Anyhow, black women: YOU CAN GROW YOUR OWN NATURAL HAIR LONG. Long like hip length. I’m not talking about locks, or some miracle. I’m just telling you that the majority of black women do not know this at all or how.
    Go to Kimmaytube or Sera2544 on YT for starters. You’re welcome:)

    By the way, before anyone starts – I do not wear weave, and my own NATURAL hair is long and still going- hair that I learned to grow by educating myself.

  • Monica

    I’m sorry but I have to agree. All this weave wearing is getting out of hand and it looks stupid! Before you guys jump on me, I’m a black woman that has NEVER felt the need to wear a weave. What for??? Like I said, rocking a weave looks dumb because it doesn’t look right. We were not made to have bone straight hair!!! A bird can’t be a fish. A horse can’t be a snake!!! Why not just embrace who you are instead of trying to be something you’re not.

    • Wish_upon_a_Staar

      Not all weave is straight… I’m a prime example of that. I’ve never worn a straight weave in my life nor do I plan to.

  • Nik

    I do not agree with the lack of self esteem judgement passed because one wears a weave. I do however agree that as a mother, a woman should not choose to pay 300.00 for a weave and not be able to feed their child. Maybe a ban is extreme instead he should address it in a sermon on financial and parental responsibilities

  • Dorian Person

    It’s about time someone spoke out about this! I applaud this pastor. The author is missing the point when she states, “And furthermore, there’s just something so controlling and distasteful about a man telling women how they can and can’t wear their own hair.” The point is that it isn’t at all their own hair! Would you say the same is people started wearing fake skin to change their complexion? I certainly hope not.

    • Wish_upon_a_Staar

      But it’s their life.

    • dede

      Again, it would be thier decision if they did….. however it is no one’s decision to have thier kids go to bed hungry. MOST and note i said MOST because I know someone will make the arguement that if a person is spending money on weave and not food and doesn’t want to work and yada yada yada, anyway, MOST peopl don’t CHOOSE to go hungry…… I would respect the pastor more if he focused on issues such as that.

    • dede

      Again, it would be thier decision if they did….. however it is no one’s decision to have thier kids go to bed hungry. MOST and note i said MOST because I know someone will make the arguement that if a person is spending money on weave and not food and doesn’t want to work and yada yada yada, anyway, MOST peopl don’t CHOOSE to go hungry…… I would respect the pastor more if he focused on issues such as that.

  • sammi_lu

    If he wanted to effectively get his point across, which by the way isn’t 100% negative, perhaps a group or empowerment challenge should have been made available to members.

  • carlos

    thats sick he just want the money the heck with him go to another church god said come as you are an that mean if you wear wigs or what ever who the heck is he think he is ? wtf like I said move on he is not the only church move one this make me sick to hear this .

  • Sallu

    He’s over reaching….. There are more important things to focus on. Him not allowing women in his leadership to wear weave is not going to make a huge impact, face it. They will find somewhere else to go and wear weave. pointless…………. I would rather have him find a way to make sure no child is left hungry at night by rallying food donations, or get rid of guns somehow….. pick your battles pastor pick your battles….

    • Wish_upon_a_Staar

      Ill stop you there. Don’t take away guns, unless you want the crime rate to shoot up like you would never even imagine.

      • Sallu

        yes take away illegal guns that are not being used other than to kill each other

        • Wish_upon_a_Staar

          You can’t take away illegal guns. Lol the only people you can take guns away from are law abiding citizens.

          • Sallu

            ???? You are obviously confused. The problem is people owning illegal guns.. meaning they are not licensed and using them to kill poeple. I have no problem with licensed owners who use them to protect thier homes and families. I have one to protect mines! but thats all it should be used for.
            lmao “You can’t take away illegal guns. Lol the only people you can take guns away from are law abiding citizens. ” wth……….

            • Wish_upon_a_Staar

              If the government decided to ban guns the only people who it will affect is people who LEGALLY own guns. Unlicensed people who own guns illegally will not give up there guns because thy shouldn’t have had them in the first place. If they don’t obey gun laws now what makes you think they will obey new laws. How can you take away something that you don’t know they have?

              • Sallu

                Whoa you are reaching way into neverland. I said nothing about the government banning guns I merely want gun control for un-licensed individuals who have guns and use them for violence. Back to my main point, the pastr should be foucsed on THOSE issues not weave. This is not a gun debate My main point was there are more importan issues to focus on than weave.

  • LADYE

    I think its more behind it. sometimes you have to force people to view themselves as beautiful just the way they are, and what better way than to take away the crutch, even if its only for church.. Weave has gotten out of hand and if you think it;s not, you delusional. Women are spending thousands like they got Hollywood salaries, on hair., late on bills rent etc, for a good install, and they have no shame about it. Some women don’t feel beautiful at all unless they have a weave in, they will throw a scarf on their head until they can get it done. and that needs to stop.what type of message is that sending to their little girls who can see their mother so happy with their straighter Indian or European type, but when they have their own, act like they don’t even want to look at it,quick to slap a relaxer, wig or weave in. what type of message is that sending? you are dooming your kids to have the same self hating mentality you have,( and if you don’t think that’s self hate you are delusional.)your little girl will all ways think every other ethic group is better than hers and some how that makes her less than them, until she can fake it. and your boy, well,… we all see what black men are saying about black women these days and whats happening. I think the pastor telling them no weave allowed is a good thing, its a step in the right direction for now.

  • Lisa Marie

    Black men should worry about themselves. I think weaves should be the least of their concerns. Men are so petty these days, black men are turning into little girls with each second. My husband is white he likes my hair however I chose to wear it weave, wig, afro or whatever. I dated black men who complained about my hair and all they did was wind up with another weave wearing black woman. I see black men with women that don’t wear weave and they still complain. I see black men with non black women and they still are not happy and find fault with the non black women. I think all this fault finding with black women is deeper than what it is. Black men don’t have fathers that teach them to stay out of a woman’s business and be a man like most races of men do.

    • stewie

      If you marry white then Pls, stfu about anything black.

      • fawn

        u mad?

      • SMH

        Lol weren’t you just on another post praising women of other ethnicities while dogging & downing every existence of black women? How can you have so much hatred for black women but tell her not to speak on a post because of her perfence & who she loves?…Smh @$$ backwards…..

    • Embarressed byweavwearers

      Yeah that’s a good approach…take a conversation that forces women to question something fundamental at its root, and examine the underlying causes and turn that into an attack on men. It’s all good though, what I DO know is that BLACK people suffer the effects of slavery till this day whether they choose to acknowledge inherited unhealthy behaviors or not. Many black people in 2013 bare the glaring effects of the ‘willie lyche’ programming- it used to be those other folks attacking us because of whatever fallacies were let loose in their heads, now its often our own in concert with those other folks telling us the same old lies we used to KNOW weren’t true.
      So, Bree, you obviously have taken time to consider the some of the long-term effects that fatherless families have had on black men, but have you given a thought as to what effect it’s had on black women?…I could name a few.

    • Embarressed byweavwearers

      Oh yeah, I almost forget- I think black men and women should worry about each other. I know that might sound odd to you, but oh well.
      I mean hell, every other group of peoples on the planet does for the most part. Who isn’t in favor of worrying about their own?

      • rosetta’s stoned

        Weave is not something “we” need to be “worried” about.

    • Rosetta’s stoned

      The best comment . 100% TRUTH

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  • Kit

    The author of this article, Ms. Veronica Wells, summed it up best when she said “there’s just something so controlling and distasteful about a man telling women how they can and can’t wear their own hair”. I am amazed that in 2013 anyone would think this was acceptable behavior, especially from a member of the clergy.

  • Inez Jackson

    It sound to me…That this Pastor is mad because the amount of money he thinks that these women are spending on their hair should go to the church. Get out of there pockets !! Even if these women don’t buy the weaves it doesn’t mean that they going to give it to the church. He have it wrong when he say women wear weaves because low-self esteem. Not every women have low-self esteem. In my picture that’s my original hair. I love my hair but I also like to wear wigs and weaves. And that’s my preference !! That doesn’t change my personality. Because I’m beautify with or with out. GOD says so. So whatever women choose to do with themselves its no one business but theirs!! AMEN..AMEN and AMEN

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  • Cin718

    Unfortunately this is a matter of ethics, or one’s moral belief! Which is so hard to control. What may happen is he may lose the respect of some of his congregation. Why? Because sometimes people do things such as go out to dinner, eat ice-cream, manicures, hair salon, etc in order to balance the not so good things in life, that could be anything, or to simply have fun. I suspect some of the parishioners get their hair done for the same reason among other reason’s unknown. Getting a manicure/pedicure, or you hair styled, weaved makes you feel good, better, etc. I’m sure there are some over weight folks up in the church… is he going to ban fried dough? The idea is asinine! WAIT! i thought a women should cover her head when she is in the house/temple of the LORD, it is a matter of respect to the most high GOD, thus maybe GOD would have a difference of opinion from our Dear Pastor! Just Saying.

    • Embarressed byweavwearers

      Please, for a moment, take it back to the invention of the straightening comb…what in the hell would possess a woman to want to straighten her naturally curly hair in the first place?? This origin is what we fail to take into account when we use the excuse that black women just want to look nice and feels pampered when they go to the salon to get their hair done.

      • Popgoestheweasel

        Becuase it looks better and is easier to manage. Some people do not know how to maintain the natural state of black hair so it just looks like a hot mess. Not a good look for a job interview….. I’m just saying do whatever works best for you. If a weave helps you maintain a decent look then go for it. So long as you can afford it….. otherwise I see a lot of women sporting quick weaves or half-wigs. They are cheap, easy to manage, and quick to put on and head out the door for work and look proffesional….

        • Embarressed byweavwearers

          Yeah, ok…I see you ‘choose’ not to get it. Tell me this: why didn’t they event the straightening comb in Africa then?? Because they didn’t have a white europen model of beauty to think of and weren’t worried about how nappy folks thought their hair was. Its not until black people get here that black hair is too hard to manage, is too uncouth in its natural state, and is thought of as undesirable.

          • Zealand

            “Tell me this: why didn’t they event the straightening comb in Africa then??”

            Why wasn’t the computer invented in Africa?

            Why was the printing press invented in Africa?

            • Embarressed byweavwearers

              I’ve read you’re post and seen what you’ve contributed to the topic…nothing. Your ignorance is showing. Cover your face.

          • Popgoestheweasel

            You are a lost soul

            • Embarressed byweavwearers

              Just pray for me if you feel that way…

              • Popgoestheweasel

                unfortunatley prayer won’t help you. and I will not waste one on you. You need to speak to jesus yourself….

          • Popgoestheweasel

            You are a lost soul

        • Wish_upon_a_Staar

          Straight hair does NOT look better. It’s just gives the wearer versatility

          • Popgoestheweasel

            You are correct, I meant to say in MY OPPINION it looks better ON ME. I have been proudly getting relaxers since 6 years old I still have Natrual hair down my back, sometimes i braid it up and wear a weave for a few months to let my natrual hair rest… then I take it out and wear my hair and its grown a few more inches! I am proud of it. I tried the natrual look it didnt look to hot ON ME. so I made a CHOICE to go back to a relaxer…..

            • Embarressed byweavwearers

              You Daddy should have checked that IMO. Ain’t no way in hell a ^ year old needs relaxer in her hair for any said reason. PERIOD. Are we really going to argue this point?!? If so I’ll be boo-boo the fool too and argue reasons why a man leaving a woman behind to raise kids on her own is a good thing.
              Please don’t tell me we have sunk this low to where people- let alone parents- are proud of and argue to defend madness!!

              • Popgoestheweasel

                my daddy should have checked that?! really… obviously you are a sissy boy… get a life…. I am happy the way my mother and father raised me and im probably more educated, and have a better life then you will every have. Relaxer and all…. LOL

          • Popgoestheweasel

            You are correct, I meant to say in MY OPPINION it looks better ON ME. I have been proudly getting relaxers since 6 years old I still have Natrual hair down my back, sometimes i braid it up and wear a weave for a few months to let my natrual hair rest… then I take it out and wear my hair and its grown a few more inches! I am proud of it. I tried the natrual look it didnt look to hot ON ME. so I made a CHOICE to go back to a relaxer…..

  • amir bey

    Even though the story IS silly, I think weaves are horrible; wish folks would focus on taking care of their own hair. Also the focus is too much on hair, and the money spent is ridiculous. Should be invested on spent on cultivating their children.

    • Zealand

      Some women take care of their own hair by wearing weaves.

  • Embarressed byweavwearers

    The fact the sistas will even argue their right to wear european hair is a testament to the effects of white supremacy at its finest. Much like light-skinned blacks downing dark-skinned blacks..IT’S DUE COMPLETELY TO SLAVERY!! HELLO?!?

    • Whitney

      wow… ??????? I don’t think it has anything to do with that… by the way i am light skinned I have never “downed” dark skinned blacks… stop over generalizing….

      • Embarressed byweavwearers

        Not saying you did…I was giving an example of a behavior learned from slavery that still commonly practiced today, whose origin is rarely question but easily understood. You ever called someone ‘black azz?’…ever laugh when someone else did?? KEEP IT 100 ;]

        • Whitney

          nope… i always keep it 100 and i see you always keep it crazy as hell…. now i have call a lot of people crazy azzes…. imjustsaying i call it like i see it. :)

  • Whitney

    Its okay for him to be in disagreement with women buying weaves and not being able to pay rent… I mean that is ridiculous but for everyone it is not a problem of low self esteem… Honeslty I would prefer for some of these young girls to wear weave instead of walking around with their hair all over thier head or in a jacked up pony tail…. just saying thier needs to be a balance…

    • Agustine

      lol right! some of these women need weave they look a hot mess without it! ijs…….

  • BruthaManFrmDa5thFlo

    I agree and disagree. . . No the Pastor shouldn’t impose a ban on weaves in the church, I don’t think it’s right. I believe that he’s being a bit over board with the issue. I do understand where he coming from though! Although there are many different reasons why Black women wear weaves. From simply not liking their own hair, to it’s to hard to manage, to being insecure about their looks, to wanting to look like someone else or the simple fact that it’s what she’s always done, her mom did it, her Grandmother wore wigs the list can go on and on. Why I think the Pastor is getting at is the fact that the majority of Black women wear weaves because they believe that their NATURAL BEAUTY is not BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH! In addition to the fact that it cost a bundle to keep it up! Many women will surely DEFEND their rights to do what they please with their own hair. I believe that after HUNDREDS of years of slavery and white supremacy it has been engrained in black women that their NATURAL beauty is inferior to the european woman beauty! Generation after generation after generation black women have been told that THEIR NATURAL BEAUTY was not good enough that their hair was ugly and unmanageable why else would our women think to relax and straighten their hair that grows naturally out of their heads past the sun, into the heavens to be touched by GOD! The only reason is because you don’t know how beautiful your natural hair can be. If you simply spend the same amount of time you spend getting it washed, conditioned, braided and weaved, you’s find out just how beautiful it and you are! That’s just my simple opinion!

    • stewie

      simp alart…

  • Bree

    Only an idiot would pay $300 for weave when they barely have money. I don’t even pay that much and I am not struggling financially. This pastor is playing into the self righteous attitude that some black women with natural hair have. I wear weaves and wigs because I suffer from severe hair loss. I would rather not walk around with visible bald spots in my head. What is so wrong about that?

    • Embarressed byweavwearers

      Nothing’s wrong with not wanting to walk around with a full head of hair like regular people. The problem in my eyes comes when you go to the counter to purchase your weave and you ask for hair that is european in texture and appearance. Imagine a tiger that lost his coat going to a furrier and asking for the coat of a zebra…what would you assume about that tiger? One would say he certainly not proud of his stripes! Well trust and believe the same applies to all those long weave wearing sistas. Pure insanity.

      • Zealand

        “Imagine a tiger that lost his coat going to a furrier and asking for the coat of a zebra…what would you assume about that tiger?”

        Nothing, because that is not even remotely realistic.

        • Embarressed byweavwearers

          Its called an analogy. But if you choose to shrink mentally rather than acknowledge or refute my point so be it.
          I get this alot in the weave debate with the women I love and I understand why. It hurts to be the fool. It hurts even more to acknowledge someone is correct when they say you don’t love yourself enough to tell the world “accept me as I am.” And this is not said to clown, black people have a bunch of different hurtful issues we should address. But that’s the point, we must address them. Not hide from them, when the analogy doesn’t suit us, or the argument rubs us the wrong way

          • Zealand

            I know what an analogy is. I just think it is a very poor analogy since it is not at all realistic.

            • Embarressed byweavwearers

              Shrink already.

            • Kayla

              lol! exactly… this guy has no idead what he is talking about. I have seen dozens of posts on this site from him… umm man you got a girlfriend?job? kids? life? something else you should be doing and you debate about weave A LOT with women????? ummm….. thats not wierd at alll dude…..

    • BruthaManFrmDa5thFlo

      That’s a excellent reason!

  • Embarressed byweavwearers

    Sistas just don’t get it…they ARE trying to emulate an attribute of those who oppress you. Nappy hair=bad, Straight hair= good (& white). Ok? This goes back to slavery and the resulting self hatred that was injected into blacks via white supremacy. How can you NOT have low self esteem when you’re running around trying to have hair down your back, like its natural, but are ashamed to wear your hair as it is naturally. Good self esteem says “take me as I am”, low self esteem says “I need this in order to be complete”. Show me a woman who needs her weave on to leave the house and I’ll show you a woman with damaged self esteem.

    • BruthaManFrmDa5thFlo

      Now . . . Even though I agree with you, there are some Black people that grow naturally straight hair. . . Many Ethiopians, Indians and many more. . .

      • Embarressed byweavwearers

        That’s news to me. While I’m a firm believer in the “anythings possible” rule, I’m unaware of ‘black’ people growing straight hair. While the term “black” as it’s currently used, applies to many diff types of black people from varying ethnic/geographical descents. But lets not be too confused here- an Indian is an Indian, not a black person w/straight hair- however I will research black people with straight hair to be fair on the topic.

    • Angel89

      Lol yeah I’m with Brutha Man..black people don’t only grow “one type” or texture of hair..their are many women that grow hair down their butts & the textures can be the loosest straightest curl all the way to the tightest nappiest kink..black hair is wonderful & so versatile

      • Embarressed byweavwearers

        Well I’m still trying to find examples of black people with that bone straight european texture. I’ve seen the Aborigines and I’ll give you that, although they are clearly not 100% of African descent. They have that Polynesian/pacific Islander type hair this is still totally diff from ‘black’ hair.
        Wow…typing that I just realized how whimsical and based on nonsense this grouping and classifying people by race really is. Aborigines are def ‘black’ folk- big noses, dark skin& hair- always have been, yet they have diff hair texture than ‘black’ Africans. Black comes in all shapes sizes and colors all over the world…Its beautiful!!!
        But I’m still waiting to see a a ‘black’ African with natural bone straight hair.

  • Pingback: UnbeWEAVEable: Waco Pastor Bans Church Leadership From Wearing Weaves | Old School 94.5

  • Puhleeze

    First of all, black women are MERCILESSLY JUDGED about every aspect of their looks, all day, every day. It’s completely out of line to now judge them for the choices that they make because of it. How about banning the male parishioners from dating women who are not phenotypically black or wear weaves? You’ll get results faster.

  • KJ23

    If that’s the case, then I hope he bans his male leaders from buying Jordans the day the first come out, or rims on their car, or “True Religion” jeans. If you’re gonna lay down the gauntlet of what’s superficial and what a woman shouldn’t spend her money on, offer up the same critique for the men.

  • 1Val

    Pastor. due to your concern for struggling church members please forgo your luxury vehicles, mcmanison, designer suits, obtain additional employment so church salary is not your only income or refuse to collect a salary, stop charging members for classes, premarital counseling as well as to perform weddings and funerals. Just like your church members money would be better spent on investments and savings than expensive hair weaves if YOU stop buying tech gadgets, wearing, pricey colognes, wining and dining then you too could aid those struggling church members. Until then please have a seat in the pews of your congregation.

  • Steffanie Scott

    There is no crime nor is it a sin to wear a weave. I am sure the good Rev probably needs to deal with himself for trying to ban anyone from the word. People really need to stop trying to play God by being another man’s/woman’s judge and jury.

  • Honesty and Charity

    Black churches seem to always have the wrong focus. And this is a prime example. There are children in our community that cant read, there are elderly people in our community that are bearly living with enough food, not to mention the misguided youth were young girls are getting pregnant just to get food stamps and low income housing, our young boys are getting killed and locked up leaving behind fatherless children, so many single parent homes its heart breaking. Church is doing nothing for the black community just as the liquor stores. When are blacks going to stop heading to these Churches that do nothing for our community???When????

    • Reese

      You my friend just spoke a word. I always say this about the black church the focus too much on petty and trivial things and not the turmoil and strife in our community.

  • Deanna Jackson

    Yes, weaves and hair hats are worn by women who are uncomfortable with who they are naturally (due to beauty standards set by the white supremacist establishment), but let’s not pretend that this pastor doesn’t have ulterior motives. The guy wants his tithe baskets full. Plain and simple. He’s motivated by greed and his love for money, which ironically, his religion condemns.

  • stewie

    This is Tommy Sotomayor response to this….everyone need to listen to this.

    Texas Pastor Bans Hair Hats Weaves In His Church….
    /watch?v=a_GHus1juMM

  • Nina

    I think what he is trying to say is that if you are barely making money to make ends meet but you would rather spend $300 on your head than for your child’s needs its misplaced priority and needs to be thought about. I am personally a fan of weaves, one of the most awesome and versatile protective styles, but if I have to choose between my hair and my basic needs….that is a problem!

  • Pingback: You Won’t Believe This… Famous Mega Pastor… Has Just BANNED All Women With Weaves For Life (Details Inside) urbanbarbershop.com | urbanbarbershop.com

  • PaulaR

    If a woman feels confident and attractive with hair extensions,
    who is he to “JUDGE” them? That is like telling a woman not to wear make-up to cover up blemishes or discoloration, not to wear an underwire bra to holdup the girls, not to wear heels to elongate her legs and complete and outfit, not to wear jewelry to enhances an outfit. He needs to pray about his judgmental ways, if that is something that he dislikes
    that is his opinion, he should not force his opinion on other people, especially his followers (misuse of leadership). I am sure the woman of the church may go along with it due to they do not want to be judge any further over hair…sad their own preacher is the leader of this prejudice

  • lexx

    …And this is exactly why people tend to stay away from churches like these or church at all. Get their praise and worship on at home where people arent judging them (aka sinning) in the house of God.

    1. He does not know everyone’s income
    2. People are out here buying weed, unnecessarily expensive clothing, cars, expensive makeup, etc- he cannot judge and/or dictate what people wear and do. smfh. especially because all of these things cannot be detected nor banned or controlled.

    When I go to church its to be closer to God and praise him. I get his point but it’s none of his business who is being irresponsible with their money and weaves.

  • Yvonne Watkins

    If he was so worried about people’s finances, he would get a job. Ministering is not a paid job. “You received free, give free.” The only time the apostles took money from the congregations was when the preaching work was banned and Christians were literally being fed to the lions. Then, of course, they couldn’t work – they had to stay hidden and stay on the run. Otherwise, each and every able bodied person should have a job!

  • Sherrin Ungren

    sounds like AMIR isn’t speaking from the heart, from god but from control of the woman.. We have enough of the wrong kind of men in our county attempting to turn back time to the dark ages where females could not vote, own property, drive or SPEAK out…. MOVE TO ANOTHER CHURCH LADIES……

    • lexx

      ooooooh SAY IT!!!!

  • Rosetta’s Stoned

    LAUGHING OUT LOUD. Once again…Heterosexual men or men in general should not be this concerned with what a woman, ANY woman of ANY race does with HER hair.

    • Embarressed byweavwearers

      Are you that used to broken down structure of the black family that you truly believe men have no concerns in regards to their women?!? That’s laughable..but sad even more so. So if I’m a father should I not be concerned with every aspect of my daughter’s upbringing and socialization How about her mother?…I could go on but I think, well hope you get my point.

  • Angel89

    Lol Pastor just wants that “weave money” in his collection plates….

  • Guest

    He should pull off their weave as he’s hitting it from behind…

  • Patrick

    I get what he is saying but while he is at it why doesn’t he ban church hats, expensive clothes, make-up, jewelry, etc. I mean those are all enhancements. Shouldn’t people just embrace themselves for who they are?

  • Guest#1

    Pure ignorance on the part of this pastor.

  • Happy Monday

    He needs to stop. It’s none of his business what women wear in THEIR hair. He needs to be focusing on more important things. He is just as human as the rest of us. He has no control over what people spend THEIR money on. He can have an opinion but his opinion needs to be kept out of the church, this was not the arena to voice his hair hatred.

    • THETRUTHlikeitorNOT

      ok…… you just posted under the username GUEST360. Then I guess you realized how this statement contridicted everything else you said under “GUEST360″ and “Idiotseverywhere” and changed the username to Happy Monday. I was right. Something IS DEFINITELY wrong with you. Pick position, stick with it and take you schizophrenia pills

      • Guest360

        No boo. Different person. But I appreciate you keeping my name in your mouth lol

      • Happy Monday

        I don’t know what your issue with Guest360 is but I am definitely not that person. If you have a response to what I wrote I would be glad to read it but don’t make bogus accusations about me being someone else.

  • NatashaDecemberBabyThomas

    Does he ban toupees and cancer patients with wigs from his church too? This is just ridiculous, there are more important things to be worried about other than weaves on someone’s head. I betcha his mom wore weaves in her lifetime as well.

  • Junebug

    Less money on weaves, more money in that pastor’s pockets

  • amed mackie

    the pastor is right, black women lack self esteem, they trying to be like white women, i personally thinks the thing most black women did is for themselves or to compare themselves with other women of other races, black women are smart, but why do they always think little of themselves

    • Happy Monday

      Wearing weaves isn’t exclusive to black women. Women of all races wear “extensions” as they call them. Micro beads, fusions, tape extension and clip ins all worn by women of all races. What are white women trying to be when they wear extensions? You don’t know why other people do what they do, and it really shouldn’t matter to you cause it’s not your life.

      • Beverly Corley

        Amen! Who does he think he is, to tell a black woman or any woman of race, color, or creed what to wear on their heads! I can rock a bald head and still not have enough money for the collection plate! Does this mean, I’m spending my money else where! But it’s my money and I uses it as I see fit! It really seems to me that this pastor’s main concern in getting money in the collections plates instead of saving souls! I know a woman that gave her very last dime to the church, she didn’t worry about rent, utitlities, or anything! Would he have told her, don’t do that, because she needs a roof over her head! NO! well guess what? the church didn’t tell her no, even when she was about to be evicited! Women do what you feel to make yourself feel better! Find a Pastor who’s willing to teach you the word of GOD and not worry about your outside, but worry about your insides!

      • Yvonne Watkins

        Women of other ethnicities wear weaves that mimic their REAL HAIR. If Black women wore weaves that was like OUR hair, then self-esteem definitely wouldn’t be the question.

        • Happy Monday

          This is the part of the argument against weaves that kind of bothers me, even though I kind of understand. I don’t currently wear a weave but I have in the past. When I wash my hair, it’s very curly, and sometimes I wear it like that. When I decide to blow dry and flat iron it, my hair is bone straight. This is also my REAL HAIR! If it comes out of my scalp, it’s REAL. So if I get a weave and it looks like how my hair looks when it’s flat ironed then it’s the same. I know PLENTY of women of other ethnicities that have curlier hair than mine and flat iron it to get it straight. Styling doesn’t make it any less REAL.

    • Kelly Moore

      Wearing accessories, including weave, is not an indication of a woman thinking poorly of herself. As others have pointed out, people wear cologne, earrings, brand name clothing, and drive nice cars. It’s a matter of a person’s preference. Now, I do agree that when a person’s wants overshadow life’s needs (rent, groceries, child care), there is a problem with common sense.

    • Andrea

      Sorry but just because we choose to wear weave or maybe even relax our hair does not mean we lack self-esteem. It’s not about trying to be white or compare ourselves to other races. I normally don’t take offense to such statements but this time I am because you are generalizing all black women. I don’t wear weave but I do at times relax my hair, and it has nothing to do with wanting to be white or comparing myself to other races and it damn sure doesn’t have to do with my self-esteem. How I choose to wear my hair and what I choose to do with it is my business. My hair doesn’t define me nor does how I choose to wear it or what I choose to do with it. Women with low self-esteem find other ways of trying to be accepted and hair weave is far away from being one of them. If hair weave is a solution for low self-esteem, and a way for women to try to be white or compare themselves to women of other races, then want does that say for black men that go out and groom themselves and wear the finest fabric suits and shoes, and drive top model cars. Does that mean they have low self-esteem and are trying to be white and are comparing themselves to men of other races? Or is it just another double standard?

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      Probably because some trollin a** black dude is constantly telling her she has low self esteem and she’s everything that’s wrong in the world. Good grief give it rest already.

  • me

    This is insane. I wear weave, I have a lot of natural hair, Weave in my oppinion is easier for upkeep, it makes it so I am not constantly adding heat and chemicals to my natrual hair, it promotes hair growth, I DONT HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM, I CAN AFFORD IT, I AM A BLACK WOMAN, I graduated from the University of MN, I have a full time job, no kids, etc… etc… whatever the steretypes people think about women who wear weave is ridiculous…… It’s a beauty choice, there is nothing political about hair. This pastor needs to focus on bigger issues in his community like violence, education, and hunger!!!!!

    • Guest

      what does your education and the fact that you have no children have to do with anything… did you really want to include that in your statement as it refers to what?… I know plenty educated people with a job and no children who still cant balance a checkbook… good grief

      • me

        The point is to reiterate that stereotyping people who wear weaves is ridiculous…….. I don’t know what your problem is…… obviously you have a problem with educated people… not my problem… yours

  • givemeabreak

    It sounds to me that this man needs to take his own advice and not worry about what is on these people heads. He needs to center himself with God again because weave is such an unimportant matter. Don’t focus on weave, focus on what God wants you to do.

    • Guest360

      If its such an unimportant matter, why are some of us shelling out hundreds of thousands of dollars for it at the expense of more important things? The weave/black hair care business is a BILLION dollar industry yet the unemployment rate for blacks is 14%, higher than any other group. And a great deal of us who have jobs are struggling to make ends meet. We have the lowest rate of buying houses in this country but yet we are the sole consumers of a BILLION dollar industry? That doesn’t sound like weave is an unimportant matter to us.

      • That’s My Story

        Your at be under the impression that black women are the only people purchasing and wearing weaves. Women of all ethnicities are sporting weaves. Simply because white and Asian women are predisposed to long hair styles does not mean they were born with it. Hair is a billion dollar industry becaus it effects everyone. Just in case you didn’t know, men wear weaves too!!! Yes! Even black men. They just aren’t as vocal about the type of hair and the amounts of money they laid down for those dreads they are sporting.

        • LADYE

          yeah but are white and Asian women dependent on weaves? do they pour poison on their hair that can melt tin to alter it? do they go their whole lives not knowing what their natural hair looks like or how to take care of it? do they talk about their natural hair in a derogatory way that expresses that they think its not fit to be seen on them? like black women do when they express why its time for a relaxer? do they put relaxer or anything else on their kids hair as young as 3-8 that will permanently alter their hair because they cant manage it “nappy” or they want it to look”better”? relaxers that can will create scabs, burns. hair loss on their kids hair? NO ! …

          • That’s My Story

            If I am correct, the article was about “weave” NOT chemical relaxers. YOu are correct, not ALL white women speak poorly of their hair, nor do Asians. Whose right is it to tell anyone the proper way to wear their hair? I cannot speak for anyone else’s reasoning for doing what they do with their childrens hair, but I will say this…those are Not my children and I trust the parents to do what they feel is best for their children.

          • That’s My Story

            If I am correct, the article was about “weave” NOT chemical relaxers. YOu are correct, not ALL white women speak poorly of their hair, nor do Asians. Whose right is it to tell anyone the proper way to wear their hair? I cannot speak for anyone else’s reasoning for doing what they do with their childrens hair, but I will say this…those are Not my children and I trust the parents to do what they feel is best for their children.

      • asd

        White women spend the same if not more dying thier hair….. its a beauty industry people should be allowed to do whatever they want with thier hair…

        • Guest360

          I’m not talking about white women. I’m talking about us. Not to mention I simply don’t agree that they spend nearly as much as we do on hair. When you compare a white woman’s bathroom cabinet to that of a black woman, who is more likely to have the most products? I’m just saying. Lets be real here. Only one of these two groups is going to have shampoo, conditioner, a leave in, castor oil, fine tooth comb, wide tooth comb, daily moisterizer, foaming lotion, puddings, butters, and a wig for the days our hair don’t want to do right. But white women spend more on their hair? Yeah no lol

          • asd

            But to say that it is due to low self esteem and it is an “us” problem is reaching…. beauty is beauty. people spend money on make-up, plastic surgery, weave…. it should be thier choice and if it is a bigger issue than they should deal with it. Regardless…. this pastor is out of line. He needs to focus on other BIGGER issues in the black community

          • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

            Gotta a lot of white co-workers who get their hair colored, cut, styled every 2 weeks like clock work. Spending a minimum of $80 plus tip each time they go. Not including shampoo conditioner, hair spray, styling tools, mouse, gel . . . . Believe it or not they do spend a good amount to make their hair look the way it does.

            • asd

              Thank you cheekee baby! :) My sister is a cosmetologist trust me. Yea she makes lots of money doing weaves but she also makes bank coloring… In fact I want to learn how to color just because… lol!

            • asd

              Thank you cheekee baby! :) My sister is a cosmetologist trust me. Yea she makes lots of money doing weaves but she also makes bank coloring… In fact I want to learn how to color just because… lol!

      • rosetta’s stoned

        It is an unimportant matter. Hair regardless of who buys it is BIG BUSINESS. Its not a BLACK woman thing. Its a WOMAN thing. This conversation doesn’t belong in the church nor does it need to be coming from any mans mouth. Worry about your prostate and going to the doctor more than once every 6 years. stop worrying about what women do with their hair.

        • Guest360

          I’m sorry I just don’t agree. When we’ve got full stores dedicated to ONLY black hair care, there is a problem. If you’ve ever been to a weave shop, you know exactly what I’m talking about

          • Andrea

            I’ve been to plenty of weave shops and I’ve seen not only black women but Latino, white and believe it or not Asian women in there looking for hair extensions weaves and wigs. Whether you believe it or not white women do have more products to use for their hair than you think, and they spend more on their hair than black women a actually do.

            • Guest360

              Just because you have more products to use doesn’t mean you use them or buy them. I’m being serious here. I’ve never seen a white, asian, or latina woman spend half as much time on their hair as we do with ours. Show me a white woman that’s got a comb for styling and a comb for detangling, a white woman that’s got a squirt bottle, gel and a tooth brush to apply the gel to her roots, a white woman that spends 12hrs shampooing, conditioning, hot oil treatment, and baggies their hair at night so their curl pattern will show, or a white woman that forgos exercise and taking a dip in the pool cause her weave will get matted or she might sweat out her perm and I’ll gladly recant everything I’ve said. But you can’t. Cause you know everything I just said applies mostly to black women. Not whites, asians, or latinas but us.

              • kris

                You don’t know any gingers with curly hair or jewish women with curls either do you? Any white women who fall into the category of natural curls? Secondly if you don’t think any non black woman with long hair doesn’t have just as many products, styling tools etc you are fooling yourself. And yes they do spend as much if not more on extensions because of the PRICE difference. Black women tend to shop smarter because we’ve been doing this for years. White women not so much which is why they end up paying more than they necessarily should fr the same results. Go look at Sally’s beauty website and click on extensions. Let me know how many WHITE models you see on the weaves that are over $100.

                If I spend hours on my hair its because I’m trying to get it to be the right shade of purple or blue. I’ve done everything to my hair, braided, weave, natural, straightened dyed, bleached and trimmed down to the skill practically. If I spend a ton of money on hair care products, so what? I stock up so I only have to go and buy once every couple of months. My very pale best friend used to live with me, had just as much product and would borrow my Luster’s when she got the chance. Hell she took longer with her hair than I did most days.

                But since the only right opinion is yours, what I or anyone else has to say doesn’t really matter much to you does it?

              • Rosetta’s stoned

                ” I’ve never seen a white, asian, or latina woman spend half as much time on their hair as we do with ours. Show me a white woman that’s got a comb for styling and a comb for detangling, a white woman that’s got a squirt bottle, gel and a tooth brush to apply the gel to her roots, a white woman that spends 12hrs shampooing, conditioning, hot oil treatment, and baggies their ”

                Honey, there’s A LOT you dont know about what white, latina and asian women do with their hair. Which is so typical of people who know lil to nothing about other races/ethinicities but always have so much to say about what “they” do or dont do. Go into A HIGH END hair salon and see how long it takes these women with a full head of hair to to get highlights. its hundreds of dollars and takes several hours.

            • Oneness

              Let’s get real… Asian, White, and Latina weave-wearers wear weaves that mimic their natural hair textures. They are NOT buying and wearing Afro or curly textured weaves. When AA women buy and wear Asian, South American and other types of straight hair they are promoting a Eurocentric standard of beauty that promotes straight hair in movies, advertisements, Hollywood and the like. When we consistently glue or attach another group’s hair on our head we are also teaching our AA sons and daughters to idolize straight hair and that their natural hair is not as beautiful. I have done this myself so understand the plight. I have also seen my teen son’s and daughter’s appreciation for my natural hair texture increase dramatically since I started wearing a chemical and weave-free hair style 3 years ago. Most other groups only wear a foreign texture of hair on their heads during Halloween or costume parties – not as a “normalized” aspect of every day life.

              Adults should be able to engage in a conversation without succumbing to the “they do it to” bandwagon fallacy. The pastor in the article cannot legally enforce his preferences on others – I get that point. However, we should be able to discuss this matter realistically and accurately without pretending that AA women are in the same boat as other women when it comes to weave-wearing. I have yet to see White, Latina or Asian women wearing naturally kinky/curly or afro weaves to work – and especially not for years straight. I am an AA women and have AA friends who have never worn their natural hair in public ever! This psychological dependency and inability to accept and appreciate our natural hair texture is unique to Black women. Black women are the only group of women I know of who don’t know how to care for their hair in its natural state. While Asian women, for example, may have high rates of cosmetic surgery to reduce/remove eye folds, the widespread dislike and lack of skill in styling our natural hair is unique to Black women. I love my natural hair more and more as I learn about it as a 41 year old woman. However, I, like the majority of AA women, was indoctrinated to think my hair was problematic or “not good hair” when in fact it is one of my most regal aspects now that it has been allowed to freely grow and unfold. I agree that women can choose to wear their hair how they wish. I also know that repeated choices show others what you value. I also know that the outer is indeed a reflection of the inner – what is on top of one’s head consistently is related (not separate from) what is in the person’s head. Women (and men) who attend the church in question should affirm their rights and leave the church if needed. Nonetheless, let’s discuss the hair issue in healing-promoting and truth-seeking ways that acknowledge the pain/hurt and despair too many Sistas feel about their natural hair. Oneness!

      • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

        No. It isn’t “14% higher than any other group” it is AT 14%. Gotta be careful with your wording when throwing around figures.

      • LADYE

        Thank you

    • clevergirl

      Did he ban the men not to cut their hair? They have to spend money to get it cut to look good as well.

  • Guest360

    I can’t say he’s wrong. A great chunk of black women (ESPECIALLY in the church) like to be flashy about their hair, their weave, how much they spent at the salon, etc. Now I don’t know what goes on at his church but if he’s making a comment about it, maybe that type of behavior has gotten out of control. I’m all for expressing yourself through your appearence but he makes a good point. How are you going to come church knowing that you’re struggling financially, can’t pay your rent and feeding your kids sandwiches cause you can’t afford anything else, but yet you’re able to rock a head full of Remi that could have easily went to buying a months worth of groceries? Its ridiculous. Our priorities are completely screwed up when a great deal of us care more about what’s on our heads instead of what’s in it

    • THETRUTHlikeitorNOT

      “How are you going to come church knowing that you’re struggling financially”
      Excuse me but I must speak against that statement. Apparently you believe church is for people that can “afford it”……. whatever that means. Church is for EVERYONE. It doesn’t matter whether you are struggling, depressed, homeless, prostitute, etc. It isn’t our place to judge someone’s actions or purchases. You opinion has a lot of negativity in it. Maybe this article reminded you of someone you know. whatever the case is you may need to review yourself and find ways to lead others to Christ instead of telling them to stay away.

      • IdiotsEverywhere

        finish reading the sentence sweetheart ” How are you going to come church knowing that you’re struggling financially, can’t pay your rent and feeding your kids sandwiches cause you can’t afford anything else, but yet you’re able to rock a head full of Remi that could have easily went to buying a months worth of groceries?” now that doesn’t mean you cant be poor and go to church, it means how can you show face when you have your priorities so screwed up!

        • Guest360

          Thank you! Geez. This is how arguments start lol

          • THETRUTHlikeitorNOT

            stop being lame and signing in under different names. its very apparent. are you 16 years old?

            • Guest360

              Wtf are you talking about? Im fully capable of defending myself without making multiple accts. Clearly youre kinda lost so im just going to stop responding to you Have a nice day.

              • THETRUTHlikeitorNOT

                So far you have cursed and called me names but im lost? Yeah right!

                • Guest360

                  No. Ive never called you names nor have I cursed you out. Clearly you can’t handle debate so why are you resonding to me? Move along now.

                  • THETRUTHlikeitorNOT

                    Hey, take you medicine and have several seats.

                  • THETRUTHlikeitorNOT

                    Hey, i didn’t realize you were “GUEST360″ again. Thought you signed back in under “Idiotseverywhere” You really need that medicine!

          • bluekissess

            Ok, people read what they want to read.

        • THETRUTHlikeitorNOT

          You still missed the point…..And obviously took it personal. You clearly are a negative person. I boldly stand beside my opinion. It is not our place to judge anyone purchases. Church is about winning souls for Christ. A closer walk with God will lead to better decisions including financial. I’m not about to call you any names or belittle you because of you opinion. You are what we refer to as a “baby in Christ” you definitely don’t have a grasp on what the religion is truly about. But thank you for you time and attention. God loves you and women that spend their money on Remi too! Deal with it!

          • Dorian Person

            Yes, God does love everyone however Jesus teaches about good stewardship with what you are given in Matthew 25:14-28.

      • Guest360

        Did I say church was only for those that can afford it? No I don’t believe I did. If you’re going to comment, comment on what I actually said instead of attacking me for something that wasn’t even a thought that occurred to me. And I’m sorry. If you’re asking for prayers from the congregation, the pastor, and God himself, hoping that somehow you’ll get the money to pay your rent yet you had more than enough to get that virgin Remi installed, you should be judged. I’m sorry but I refuse to condone the ridiculous amount of money and time we spend on hair that isn’t even ours! I’m not saying never wear a weave but when you don’t have food in your house but a fresh new weave on your head, your priorities are screwed up

        • THETRUTHlikeitorNOT

          actually you did. I took the quote directly from your comment. Now I am graciously bowing out because something is wrong with YOU!!

          • Guest360

            You took a piece of my quote and left out the rest. Sorry boo. It don’t work like that for me. I don’t deal with foolishness and people twisting my words. Either use the WHOLE quote or don’t use it at all. I refuse to defend myself against comments I never made. I’m all for debate but you will not drag me down into the sandbox to play childish games.

            • THETRUTHlikeitorNOT

              funny!

              • Andrea

                Ok maybe I missed the part when it was said that they didn’t pay their rent or feed their children. First it is an assumption by the pastor himself to say that these women are truly spending $300 on the weave to begin with just because it looks like it cost that much doesn’t mean it did. I know of plenty of woman that have weaves that look expensive but cost have if not less than half. He needs to focus on his congregations spiritual devotion and not their appearance, maybe its a distraction to him or he’s worried about what is not going into the collection plate. Either way his priorities are wrong and his focus is not where it should be, on the spiritual devotion of his congregation, both men and women, and not on who and how much they are spending on their hair.

      • Barren Boe

        You can’t take one sentence and dissect it.

    • Sherrin Ungren

      not everyone is ready to go natural and to condemn the women for their locks, no mater where they got them or what they paid isn’t the right way to each people about a point hes trying to make. I would pack up and LEAVE that place….

      • Guest360

        I didn’t say anything about going natural. I’m talking about priorities. As a whole, black women spend way too much time and money on our hair. Especially when a lot of us aren’t even in position to afford what it is we’re trying to do with it. If you want to shell out thousands of dollars for hair that isn’t even yours, do you boo. But then don’t sit in the pews asking God to send you a miracle so you can keep your lights on. Don’t ask the pastor to pray for you cause your being kicked out your house but got a fresh weave installed. It makes no sense to spend so much money and time on something that doesn’t matter but yet you’re struggling to make ends meet.

        • bluekisses

          Stop sounding off and listen to yourself. If a woman is taking her money and spending it on things she can’t afford then she is lost and need of guidance. Isn’t church a place of guidance? You really should stop making huge sterotypical assumsions and get yourself together. Nothing or nobody should keep anyone that wants to come to church out. Including judgemental so called “Christians” like yourself.

          • Guest360

            You are right. Im really stupid. I don’t have much going on in my life besides commenting on blogs. I just made something up to sound good.

            • Guest360

              Wow…..I’m so priveledged to be on your mind. So much so that you made an acct to mimick me. You know what they say though. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Clearly you’re envious of me so imma let you have it. By all means, follow me around like the dog you are. I don’t mind at all :)

          • Guest360

            If its judgemental to talk about how ridiculous some of our priorities are then feel free to label me as such. I’m speaking from experience here. I’ve got friends, family, and co workers who can shell out hundreds of dollars to get their hair done but want to see what cooking at my house cause they don’t have food at theirs. I’ve had people ask me to pray for them and that their loan comes through so they can pay off $1300 of a weave they put on layaway.Layaway! So yes. I think I’m fully within my right to judge individuals who put tgeir appearence above everything else. Its nonsensical to me gow anyone can care about someone else’s hair on their heads but not the food they could buy with that money or the roof they could put over their head.

            • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

              You know some dumb a** people.

  • Patricia

    This crazy. The majority of women wears a weave now days.

  • L.T.

    Isn’t he a pastor? isn’t he supposed to accept the congregation as is? Who is he to tell someone what they can and can’t do with their hair? He may be able to control what goes on in his home (wife & children) but who is he to tell someone they can’t wear weaves?

  • CKT76

    So he has a problem with women spending money on weaves,but I betcha he wont ban the collection plate!!

    • GirlSixx

      *Snickers*
      Riightttt!!????

      • Barren Boe

        Suggestions of this pastor possibly being crooked gives you so much joy huh? Sad. He banned the LEADERS. To set an example. Not the whole congregation.

    • Sherrin Ungren

      my sentiments exactly!!! don’t spare the Collection…..

    • clwa0303

      Okay! That’s what its really about I guarantee it! Lol. Seriously of all the things he should be concerned with he picks this??? Ridiculous

    • Nubian Princess

      Yessssss My sentiments exactly!!!! I bet if those same poor women wanted to donate $300 to his ministry his hand would be open to take it!

    • Ladybug94

      I wonder what it is about himself that he needs to ban. A picture of him should have been included. I bet he has a greasy gheri curl (which wouldn’t be out of place for Waco)

    • carlos

      lol lmao you got that right may be they should put the weave in the plate and he can resell it .

  • whatswrongwithweaveNOTHING

    He sound silly! Sounds like he has some personal issues of his own he needs to addressed! What kind of “preacher” is so distracted by his members hair?! He sound like he is worried about the wrong thing. He suppose to be trying to save souls not horses!!!! Lol

  • just_kellz

    I may be in the minority (well actually I’m the first to comment lol) but I don’t think his weave ban is that bad. At least for me, not wearing a weave would kinda force me to deal with my real natural self. Not every woman who wears weave is insecure about their hair but when women are struggling financially but yet paying top dollar for hair, that’s a problem. A weave ban may be extreme (and not realistic) but its an interesting theory.

    • bluekissess

      I agree with you.

    • Crystal

      Well he would need to ban relaxers too lol

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      Homegirl struggling but droppin hundreds for a weave isn’t likely to get it together because she is forbidden from wearing a weave. Its the mindset that needs to be changed. Furthermore will he ban hot irons and relaxers? I mean what’s ‘natural’ about a press n’ curl?

    • Meep

      Yup. They often call weaves “personality tracks.” Because once women put them in, they have this new sense of confidence. If we took them personality tracks away, women would be forced to learn HOW to be confident without weave. Not to say all women who wear weave lose confidence without wearing fake hair, but I’d say a good majority do.

      • Duni1

        I’ve never heard weave called “personality tracks”. My hair is versatile… that being said, I get my hair done or a weave put in based on how I feel or what I think I will be doing.

        The pastor is just wrong to got after a type of hair grooming because HE doesn’t like.
        His female congregants need to have a talk with him about hair maintenance… and maybe he will just let it be. And the woman that spent $300 bucks on a weave needs to have a discussion with a financial consultant.
        If he is worried about the finances of his church members, he needs to have a finance consultant come in and talk with them about managing money properly

  • pretty1908

    This is so silly . I understand his concern, but weave will not keep or cause someone to go to hell. As a pastor, he should be focusing on saving souls and reaching God’s people not clocking the remy thats in a member’s head. The church has really gotten further from what God intended it to be. The church is place of safe haven and worship not a place for pastors to shove their opinions down people’s church and call it the gospel. This has really disrupted my spirit.

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    • bluekissess

      I don’t think his point was a heaven vs hell type of thing. I think his point was we live in a society on looks and I think it’s a way for people to stop “hiding” behind those things. In the image of Eve to be naked and not be ashamed. Crazy as it may be but I agree somewhat. It’s symbolic. In my opinion

      • carlos

        some us need to and that not for you or him to stop them this is all about money root of all evil

        • LADYE

          the weave industry is about money honey, I dont see them giving it away for free, do you? and just because he’s a pastor its about money? sounds like an B.S to me.

      • Anna

        Oh please! Why don’t you walk around with no clothes on then. Just because you wear weave don’t mean you have no self esteem. Many have long hair and still wear weave to protect their natural hair.

        • bluekissess

          My comment never said anything about self esteem that was the pastors comment . I would love to walk around naked if it could save me some money

      • Dee

        I agree with you. Weave may seem like a distraction to what you are really in church for. Note that he banned LEADERSHIP from wearing weave. I agree, it’s symbolic

        • bluekissess

          People are only focusing on weave and low self esteem lol. Its more to the article than that

      • Eric Goode

        You are right, it isn’t that serious. Therefore, let that pastor be the pastor of the church God placed him at, and let him address his own people. If you don’t like his view, that’s fine, that’s why you don’t go there.

    • carlos

      he trying to save more money in his bank account sound like a brain washer

    • rocky

      think about it this way something that is keeping you from your focus on God obviously needs to be removed, a weave is not as important as a relationship with your Lord and Savior but too many people have there priorities messed up. A weave will not be with you in heaven

      • Sha

        This is crazy and controlling!!! bottom line. What does someones hair have to do with another persons salvation??? Your soul salvation is between you and GOD! not the pastor or the congregation. Show it to me in the bible!This is straight BS and all of you know it. That’s the problem now people are not going to God there staying away because of mess like this!!!!!

    • Dorian Person

      Leading a church is not only about meeting the spiritual needs of the congregation, you have to also deal with the physical aspects of being human as well. We are to follow Jesus’s example and His example lends precedence to this when He fed the 5,000. He fed them both spiritually and physically. It is necessary to deal with both earthly and heavenly matters. While heaven is the ultimate goal He has still commissioned us to treat our body’s as temples and to have good stewardship over what he provides us here on earth.

      • anonymouse

        what does that have to do with someone’s hairstyle??

      • Duni1

        That’s all fine and dandy. But when the pastor starts to demand, particularly of his female congregants, that they do anything in particular with their hair… that’s when he is trying to take over their bodies. Make a suggestion, fine, but do not go onto a pulpit and claiming it to be gospel.
        its one thing to ask for modestly, its another for him to admonish women for wearing weave. That’s like me going onto the pulpit and telling me that they aren’t allowed to get goatee’s. Its ridiculous

    • Kandahar Kenneth

      do you not understand how they are connected? and the church is not a safe haven jesus did not come to bring peace…he said so himself..i came not to bring peace but a sword seperating daughters from mothers fathers from sons….you can read the rest its in mathew 34:11 i think just type in key word i came to bring a sword. timothy 2 and a whole other bunches of places say how a woman is to dress and behave and even wear her hair..so its not really an opinion..well i guess maybe an opinion of jesus, but then again if most people actually read the bible they would actually go to church. lol

      • Chrissy

        I think the “rules” for women in Timothy were written by Paul/Saul, not Jesus. I also think that Jesus meant separating daughters from mothers, etc. figuratively meaning in the Kingdom, believers vs. non-believers. I think that Jesus would think this hair thing was silly and had nothing to do with reaching the Kingdom (unless someone started to worship the weave), but that’s just me. :)

        • Sha

          You are on point Chrissy, I believe that’s why we are all gifted in some way..Tell this too cancer patients, children who lost their hair to this disease.Burn victims and People who couldn’t grow it for many reasons. Once again this is the opinion of man and not GOD! Did anyone ask this so called pastor what he wanted the women to do with the money, oh I’m sorry he turned the microphone off during the offering. The bible clearly tells us to know them who labor with you. That has nothing to do with GOD or low self esteem. It’s also wrong to dictate and judge a person. He forgot about that!

      • Sha

        Get in a good bible base church and learn the word, it’s clear you don’t understand. This pastor is attacking black women!!!! We are known for being creative and gifted as GOD would have it.. As a pastor he shouldn’t be talking about his members or anyone else. We don’t know how true this is he could be saying these things to get his name out there!!! Whatever the case he has a duty to follow the word of the LORD and not inject poison into the spirits of GOD sheep! HOW ABOUT THAT!

    • Bun B

      if your not a part of the solution then your a part of the problem.. how long are you gonna stand by and watch our little girls try and live up to a standard of beauty that says their natural beauty is not good enough. You older women have to set the example and get rid of that mental bondage, wigs weaves and perms… Black women are Beautiful Period.

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