Don’t Hate! Do You Judge How An “Adult Star” Can Become A Housewife?

57 comments
August 17, 2013 ‐ By Brooke Dean

Not long ago, a friend and I were musing about all the “Wives” reality shows that are littering our TV screens lately. What we found amusing, as most people have made note of by now, is how many of the women featured on these programs are not wives at all. I guess they either got “close enough” to walking down the aisle, or had a child by some well-to-do man that deemed them “wife-ish” material. My friend said most of them will probably never get married because no man wants a groupie or a heaux or whatever. But I wonder how true that really is. After all, Jenna Jameson is now a retired pornstar who’s now a married stay-at-home mom. I often wonder how someone goes from adult video star, stripper or groupie to…wife? Most of the guys I’ve dated didn’t want to know anything about my ex or how many partners I’ve had, let alone have it on video for all the world to see. So how does this happen?

I’m sure we’ve all heard the saying that men “want a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets.” But being a freak in the streets, videos and everywhere else is a lot for some men to handle. I’m not saying it can’t be done, or that sexually free women aren’t entitled to a husband, babies and house with a white picket fence; however, most of the women I know are very much ladies out in public. They don’t have their breasts spilling out or wear skirts hiked up their hoo-ha; instead, they leave some things to the imagination and keep their personal lives a mystery.

But these very same women are the ones who will swing from chandeliers if that’s what it takes to make them and their man happy. They’re into toys, whips, chains, lotions, and handcuffs and you’d never know it. Their sexual secrets are kept well hidden, and you’d never catch a sex tape of them floating around. But that doesn’t mean they don’t like watching them.

According to some studies, about 70% of women keep their online adult video viewing habits a secret, yet 1 in 3 women are consumers of a billion dollar skin flick industry. Even though women are more and more open to all kinds of sexual discussions, a lot of women are still afraid to let the wild cat out of the bag publicly for fear that they’ll be considered sick, a freak or a “ho” if they do. We all have an inner “Jenna Jameson,” but some of us are afraid to let it show. I’m sure most of us could put some”professional” video vixens (including Superhead) to shame if we let our true talents shine.

So how then do the Superhead’s, Jenna Jameson’s and other women “like that” get past their sexual history and settle down to become “normal,” happy- dare I say, respected- wives and mothers? Is it fair to judge them by their past if they’ve moved on? Why do we judge them at all for being sexually “free” or embracing their sexuality and showing that to the masses? After all, some men may find their confidence to be hot and are not at all intimidated by their past. Maybe a truly secure man would have no problem being with a woman who they know can satisfy their every need. So why not marry her?

I can’t say that I’d settle down with a Lexington Steele type, only because I’d probably never be able to get the visual of him having sex with hundreds of women out of my head. But that’s just me, and it doesn’t mean that he’s not husband material out there for SOMEONE if he decides he wants out of that life.

But do you think you could settle down with a adult video star or a stripper? Could you manage to get all the public images of the person out of your mind and realize you’re dating the more “real” side of them?

More from Styleblazer

More from Mommynoire

MadameNoire Video

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Pingback: Kisah Jenna Jameson | ediredz

  • Zealand

    No. It’s not as if being an adult star removes their emotions.

  • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.banks.37 Courtney Banks

    No one should be made to feel bad about activities that are done between two consenting adults. If you’re summing up the all of a woman by how she chooses to use her lady parts, then the problem lies with the man.

    • Chey

      F**k your feelings. That’s the problem with hoes. They never want to own up to being exactly what they are. There’s nothing wrong with a man who doesn’t want your gross a**. YOU have the problem for being angry with him for not wanting you. You know what they say…”You made the bed…”

      • http://www.facebook.com/courtney.banks.37 Courtney Banks

        Please go away if you have nothing smart to contribute to the conversation..

        • Chey

          Face the music sweetie pie.

  • stewie

    What a ridiculous article, why would any real men want to pay for an old something everybody got for free in her youth and beauty. Also, a woman like that can’t be trusted. She is damaged goods, she has been used and abused so much, there isn’t any left of her to salvageable.

    But oh, the irony. The harsh and cruel irony…..For, in order for a woman to “convert” from the spoiled brat American princess, she needs to suffer her “crisis. And in order to suffer her crisis, she more or less needs to make a mistake. But in making that mistake she by default takes on baggage. Baggage, that more often than not, mutually excludes her from being a viable candidate for courting or marriage.

    Women put themselves in this situation when they decided being marriageable was not only old fashioned, but “oppressive.” Far too many of them don’t give a flip what men are looking for until it’s too late. Meanwhile, men still try to be the type women approve of from early teen years on up. It used to mean being an upstanding stable guy in society, now it means having game (until the 30s hit).

    Sorry ladies not a lot of quality men want to play captain save ho …

  • Ladybug94

    Anybody can change.

  • get real

    In this type of situation if a man is having a pimp *oe relationship then it can work. But a trick *oe relationship will not.

    • D Man

      What on earth are you talking about? Nobody can understand your ghetto ebonics. Seriously – what are you talking about?

  • Blackhawk

    No way i’m wifing up a ex stripper let alone a p0rn star.. and i was actually cool with females who’s done both.

  • Fresh45

    I couldn’t date or marry a woman who was still doing p0rn or stripping,because I don’t want the person I’m with stripping or having s3x with anyone else, but if she was a former stripper or p0rn star, then I would give her chance. Unless it consists of some really evil and low down stuff, I don’t think a person’s past should matter if they’re what you’re looking for in a man or woman.

  • HonestBrotha1911

    Personally I don’t think it’s about their past or number. The question in my opinion is honesty. It’s KNOWING what you actually have and having the time to digest it. If after knowing the person and all his/her exploits you decide to take the plunge I say more power to you. Women often wonder why men choose women THEY KNOW have been around. Those are the key words. For men there’s nothing worse than THINKING you have this angelic woman in hour life and finding out she was promiscuous. It’s BEING DENIED the truth that ends the relationship, not the truth.

    That’s why these women are still in the game when it comes to finding mates. Their “truth” is out there for everyone to see.

  • Nia

    Jenna Jameson is not married and Tito took custody of their kids saying she’s abusing prescription drugs.
    Superhead is just a hot mess.
    IDGAF if they get married or not. They’re in a whole different world than me. I also wouldn’t date a p orn star because I’m sure that all of them have h erpes and other STD’s. What if he had some dormant isht that came out after we got married? No thank you! Although in a fantasy I wouldn’t mine doing it to one.

    • Fresh45

      They’re required to constantly get tested before they do a scene, so they’re probably more clean than someone who doesn’t do p0rn.

      • inessa

        that is what they said…

      • Growth

        You realize some std’s don’t show up right away right. Did you know HIV can sometime be detected 8 YEARS after you have sex with an infected person? And Hpv can’t be found in men but can be carried by them? I hope you always wrap up. You really need to do some Research.

        • Fresh45

          I didn’t say it was impossible for them to catch something, I said that they’re required to get tested on a regular basis. Someone who gets tested regularly, is probably more clean than someone who doesn’t.

    • DaisyDuke

      years ago when Jenna Jameson was at her peak, she did an interview with Wendy Williams where she was talking about her marriage. She WAS married, but not to Tito, to another man (can’t think of his name) through the majority of her career and she said he served as her only male partner in films until their divorce.

    • dddooonnnttt

      That not how STD’s work. Even something that’s ‘dormant’ can be tested for. Which I would recommend to anyone before they start humping without rubbers.

  • hollyw

    I feel like this article was a little all over the place, while also missing a big point. If adult entertainers are proud of what they do, there’s nothing to look past, and their profession IS the real side of them. Also, just because they may settle down doesn’t mean they necessarily stop working.

  • 1Val

    Women with pasts have future also. Sexually liberated women just like men who were dawgs are entitled to their happily ever afters.

    • Chey

      Not at all.

      • Chas

        that was awfully ignorant^^^ …..@1Val:disqus I agree 100% anyone can change or want different for them self. If someone can make the changes neccessary or find someone who accepts their life style then a happily ever after is well deserved.

        • Chey

          Well deserved??? For being a hoe? I think not. Loose women AND men are disgusting.

          • dddooonnnttt

            Then you don’t have to be with one. You only get to determine your future and history, not everyone elses.

            • Chey

              Damn straight. No argument there.

          • Chas

            Everyone has different life styles because everyone is different in their motives, feelings up bringing, etc. When someones lifestyle isn’t harming anyone I don’t see why they aren’t entitled to happiness and I don’t think you could validate your argument.

            • Chey

              Well we’ll just have to agree to disagree on this one. The only happiness they need comes from d**k and p***y.

              • Chas

                it sounds like something you could use lol

                • Chas

                  I’m probably a hoe because I believe in live and let live? I am not offended i think your offended by the concept of people who live differently being able to want the most simple and deserved things in life. Why cant someone believe in sexual inhibition and still want companionship? Do you have a valid reason that isn’t elementary? Grown people make grown choices that doesn’t make them unworthy. Of course there are risks but that’s a whole other topic and still doesn’t disqualify someone from happiness

              • Ladybug94

                Everyone has the ability to change. A problem that we have in society is we don’t want to let people change or accept that they can change and if they do change certain people will always be there to bring up their past. We as people need to allow folk to do better without reminding them of where they started and accept them for changing for the good.

    • inessa

      I used to think that you have to have a past free from scandals to get a man..but when I see how hoes are winning these days….I get a whole new way of thinking!

      • 1Val

        LOL. A woman with a past is a human being learning from trial and error in search of her Mr. Right. Hopefully, most men are capable of valuing women with life experiences.

        • Chey

          Good attempt at trying to justify being a hoe.

          • 1Val

            I don’t speak sexism. Take care.

            • guest

              How is that sexist. heck if u are crazy promiscuous, that is just gross and dangerous. No matter if you are a man hoe or a woman hoe.

              • Ladybug94

                Most women who are promiscuous are that way as a result of some type of trauma or childhood abuse. Surely they deserve better for themselves.

                • .

                  Not true. Most of the hoes I know came from the burbs with both parents in the home, went to church 4 times a week and have everything they could ever want. Some people just prefer to be promiscuous.

    • inessa

      look how you put it: sexually liberated women
      men wo were dawgs…why don’t you say sexually liberated men?

      • 1Val

        How can men be liberated from sexual oppression when they instituted sexual double standards to suppress women’s sexuality?

        • HonestBrotha1911

          There are just standards. The ONLY REASON women view it as a double-standard is because THEY (not men) have deemed it okay to accept promiscuous men. Then they cry double-standard when men don’t reciprocate. Did the men ask you to ACCEPT their promiscuity? Nope. That’s a choice WOMEN made. Is this not the case?

          • inessa

            no in fact many women take pride in being the “one who changed him”

            • HonestBrotha1911

              Then why said “no”. What you’re saying is THEY (women) have accepted their promiscuity and take pride in “changing him”.

          • hollyw

            For the record, others having different standards than you didn’t deem theirs better or worse than yours. I think that’s actually the point of this entire argument here.

            • HonestBrotha1911

              What?

              • hollyw

                What’s not to understand??

                • HonestBrotha1911

                  The women of 2013 do not live by the same standards as women of the past. The original article highlights that.

                  The poster you agreed with is incorrect because everyone has the opportunity to accept/reject. That has ALWAYS been the case. The fact that women are more liberal regarding acceptance falls on THEIR SHOULDERS, not men. What he/you call oppression I call choice. Men CHOSE to frown on promiscuous women. Women CHOSE NOT to frown upon it.

                  Simply put, this “tool” of oppression was never real. We (men/women) literally CHOOSE who we allow to have access to your lives and why. Have a good one.

                  • hollyw

                    What are you talking about, the comment I made was based solely on your post, not any other commentor’s; also, I never directly said anything about oppression to you, just that yoursense of appropriate and inappropriate standards were arbitrary, and held no real meaning I’m the grand scheme of things.

                    If you want to see every human being as having 100% choice in this world as autonomous individuals, completely free from historically oppressive systems, that is also your prerogative. This, however, does not change fact. So you have a good day as well.

        • inessa

          so because society condemns you for being a hoe..you talk about oppression?!! Women are the mother of humanity..it’s a shame that we women always want equality and to copy men when it comes to their worst behaviors!!! We could learn self defense so that we can be strong like them and able to defend ourselves, we could learn qualities that make them (sometimes) stronger in the workforce, etc…..but we always want to take the worst in them and they cry when they don’t treat us “like ladies” although we “act like men”…go ahead with your mentality but be rest and assured that water always seeks his level and you have little chance to find a “really good man” if you are a loose woman..you will eventually attract a “dirty dawg”

          • 1Val

            Why must women live their lives according to your beliefs? In previous posts, you acknowledged that your belief system has failed you in getting and keeping a man. Perhaps reexamination is in order to determine exactly what it is that you are doing wrong preventing you from having a healthy romantic relationship. To focus on other women’s usage or over usage of their vaginas does not benefit you at all.

            • inessa

              my belief system has failed me because more and more men become bums…who seek their own level. I know there is a good man for me out there..you can’t have Barack if you’re not Michelle!

              • 1Val

                If your posts are an indicator of your personality the issue isn’t men who are bums preventing you from having a successful relationship. Could it be your confrontational, argumentative, judgmental, sexual hangups and unpleasant demeanor are off putting to men? Most good men are not into angry frustrated lonely bitter women.

                Furthermore, when men love women they rise to the occasion to do whatever it is necessary to get and keep their women. Too many women waste time desiring men who are disinterested in them. It is not a man’s lack of income or income that dictates his character or how he interacts with women.

                Speaking of Michelle, you could never be her or have a man like Barack. Because Michelle unlike you took a chance on a man who had little to offer her besides a dream. Barack was a smoker, finishing law school when he met Michelle whom he dated for two years prior to passing the bar exam. Somehow I doubt a young Barack would have had a chance with someone like you.

                Since Barack lacked employment(he was an intern at Michelle’s law firm who was his adviser), income, status and material possessions. Michelle joked about riding in Barack’s hoopty that she could see the highway thru car floor. Barack encourages men to marry their superiors like he did by marrying Michelle.

                Again, your focus should be on why you are unable to sustain a healthy romantic relationships. Instead of what other women are doing in their relationships. You must be young or extremely naive in your views of love. Nonetheless good luck in your quest to find love. Take care.

                • inessa

                  I wasn’t aggressive towards you but I will tell you something now: you don’t know me and at least I’m not justifying nor advocating for a “s*l*t life” unlike you!!! It’s not my fault if you’ve been ran through and left alone! Spare me with your long and unnecessary rant!!

                  • 1Val

                    Such hostility exhibited from you. LOL. We don’t know each other. I have been married to the same man for decades. With your attitude I suspect you will never be able to say the same. Best of luck. Take care.

        • hollyw

          I get what you’re trying to say, but I don’t think ‘dawgz’ is an appropriate equivalent to liberated women. The only thing the two have in common is the sex, while the dawg’s morality often is called into question. The male equivalent to the sexually liberated woman is just simply a man lol.

          • 1Val

            Thanks for the correction.