Not long ago, a friend and I were musing about all the “Wives” reality shows that are littering our TV screens lately. What we found amusing, as most people have made note of by now, is how many of the women featured on these programs are not wives at all. I guess they either got “close enough” to walking down the aisle, or had a child by some well-to-do man that deemed them “wife-ish” material. My friend said most of them will probably never get married because no man wants a groupie or a heaux or whatever. But I wonder how true that really is. After all, Jenna Jameson is now a retired pornstar who’s now a married stay-at-home mom. I often wonder how someone goes from adult video star, stripper or groupie to…wife? Most of the guys I’ve dated didn’t want to know anything about my ex or how many partners I’ve had, let alone have it on video for all the world to see. So how does this happen?
I’m sure we’ve all heard the saying that men “want a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets.” But being a freak in the streets, videos and everywhere else is a lot for some men to handle. I’m not saying it can’t be done, or that sexually free women aren’t entitled to a husband, babies and house with a white picket fence; however, most of the women I know are very much ladies out in public. They don’t have their breasts spilling out or wear skirts hiked up their hoo-ha; instead, they leave some things to the imagination and keep their personal lives a mystery.
But these very same women are the ones who will swing from chandeliers if that’s what it takes to make them and their man happy. They’re into toys, whips, chains, lotions, and handcuffs and you’d never know it. Their sexual secrets are kept well hidden, and you’d never catch a sex tape of them floating around. But that doesn’t mean they don’t like watching them.
According to some studies, about 70% of women keep their online adult video viewing habits a secret, yet 1 in 3 women are consumers of a billion dollar skin flick industry. Even though women are more and more open to all kinds of sexual discussions, a lot of women are still afraid to let the wild cat out of the bag publicly for fear that they’ll be considered sick, a freak or a “ho” if they do. We all have an inner “Jenna Jameson,” but some of us are afraid to let it show. I’m sure most of us could put some”professional” video vixens (including Superhead) to shame if we let our true talents shine.
So how then do the Superhead’s, Jenna Jameson’s and other women “like that” get past their sexual history and settle down to become “normal,” happy- dare I say, respected- wives and mothers? Is it fair to judge them by their past if they’ve moved on? Why do we judge them at all for being sexually “free” or embracing their sexuality and showing that to the masses? After all, some men may find their confidence to be hot and are not at all intimidated by their past. Maybe a truly secure man would have no problem being with a woman who they know can satisfy their every need. So why not marry her?
I can’t say that I’d settle down with a Lexington Steele type, only because I’d probably never be able to get the visual of him having sex with hundreds of women out of my head. But that’s just me, and it doesn’t mean that he’s not husband material out there for SOMEONE if he decides he wants out of that life.
But do you think you could settle down with a adult video star or a stripper? Could you manage to get all the public images of the person out of your mind and realize you’re dating the more “real” side of them?