15 Struggles Black Women In Interracial Relationships Can Understand

August 15, 2013  |  
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Dating is tough; and interracial relationships come with their own special type of drama. Whether you’re currently dating “outside the team” or just curious about what it’s like, we’ve got some gripes that sistas in this situation will probably understand.

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His Friends

Sometimes social gatherings are awkward: “I can see why he likes you. You’re not like other black girls.” Not all of us get to our post-racial place at the same time. If this is the first time his friends have hung out with a black person, the interracial learning curve can be steep.

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Your Friends

Sometimes your crew doesn’t do any better. Whether they’re instantly suspect or think he’s cool, he better prepare for some teasing. You wince every time they call him “the white boy” or ask why he likes chocolate, but you’ll just have to talk to them about that later.

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Questions About The Sex

“Is it true what they say about white men/Indian Men/Chinese Men/Mexican Men?” Our advice? Dodge the question. He’s going to feel some sort of way if he finds out you’ve been spilling his tea in the street.

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Questions About Everything

If you’re the first person they know in an interracial relationship, you’re sort of like an ambassador. Get ready to be the go-to person for questions about his race, your race and what happens when the two races get together. The number one question? “Why are you dating him?”

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The Public Side-Eye

It’s 2013, but some people still have strong opinions about interracial relationships. Some people stare because they’re curious. Others look mad enough to have something to say. Just keep it moving. Their personal struggles have nothing to do with you.

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He Thinks He’s Got a Black Card

It’s almost understandable. His girlfriend is black, he can’t be racist. So why not try out “N***a” in a rap song or join you when you complain about how “black people are always…” But even several years in, things can get awkward pretty quickly.

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People Try to Take Away Your Black Card

“Yeah, but she’s dating a white dude”. Some people think that dating outside the team means that you’re less of a member.

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You are a smart, attractive, well-educated black woman. You should really be dating a smart, attractive, well-educated black man. The thinking may be old-school but it can be hard to shake the feeling.

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Educating Him

How can anyone not have seen “The Color Purple?” It’s time to pick out some Saturdays to introduce him to all the classics he’s missed like “Harlem Nights” and “Friday”. That’s not really a complaint. Movie nights can be a lot of fun.

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Fear of the N-Bomb

It crosses everyone’s mind when you first start dating. What if an argument gets heated, things turn racial and he drops an n-bomb. What if you’re already married with kids? What if he says it to them? It sounds paranoid but it happens. Just ask Halle.

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Mad Black Men

Sometimes brothers take it hard when they see you out with someone for the other team. Hearing “she thinks she’s too good for the brothers” or “he couldn’t possibly know what to do with that” can be par for the course. Sometimes you just have to roll your eyes and play through.

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Lord, He Can’t Dance

Date a man without so much as a two-step and it puts a cramp in your clubbing days. Rhythm is tough to teach. It’s time to find something else to do on Friday night and save the clubbing for girls’ night.

“Jungle Fever”

Can we get a new anthem for interracial dating? If you’re just branching out into your own interracial relationship, get ready to be real sick of hearing people hum it, whistle it or ask you if you’ve seen it (for the 7th time).

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Food Issues

Some people can’t tolerate tobasco but you put that on everything. Other people love mayonnaise in a way that you’ll never understand. Kitchen arguments and recipe modifications are just part of the bargain.

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Finding Out He Has a

Sometimes love is color blind. Sometimes it only loves black women: their chocolate skin, their hair, how “sassy” they are… If he’s more into cooing about the color of your skin than getting to know you, he may love what you represent and not who you are.

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  • NotYourAvg

    For the first time in my life, I’m dating someone who isn’t black; he’s white. ALL of the negativity I get is ONLY from black people. They seem to think they have a god-given right to comment on your relationship and WHY you’re in it, as if they know more about what it means to be black than you do. What I’ve noticed, black folks with that prevailing attitude are perpetually single- they would rather continue doing the same thing they’ve always been doing with no success and continue being dogged as long as they can say “at least he’s black”. If that’s not some bitter, backwards thinking I don’t know what is. I’m not going to apologize for being with someone who treats me with the utmost respect, love and concern.

  • Tammy

    Why are we ONLY talking about black women with white men?? As if this is the ONLY race black women should get with if they date out. This is sickening. Always trying to push everyone to want ugly white men.

  • hanalei

    It will never change and it will never end.
    Differences between people are here to stay. Whether it is race, creed, social class etc.
    Get used to it and get over it.
    From Romeo and Juliet, to West Side story, there has and will always been talk, problems, people trying to stir the soup about the “differences”.

  • BW with WM

    I think this article is really lacking in scope – what about dealing with the white mother-in-law who, intent on making herself seem like a ‘good white person,’ tells you she wants ‘caramel colored grandkids? among other ridiculous comments. what about random black women coyly admitting to having their eyes on your man for days as they compliment his hair – aka black women who are to fearful to make an advance to a white guy? this list falls sooo far short and ought to be redone.

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  • Redrose

    I’ve read all of the comments but it shouldn’t be about race it should be about how you fell about someone yes I’m dating outside my race its my first time but it started out as just friends and I fell in love very quickly we like and want the same things being in love should be powerful enough to ignore the looks gossip and every other problem that goes with a biracial relationship

  • joebmore

    Is anybody else bored with this tired topic?

  • gr8p

    Staring is rude. No exceptions. There are no acceptable forms of staring, aka, staring cuz they curious. What? Staring is rude people!

    • Chanda_henry@verizon.net

      If they’re attractive, just do a quick glance like I do and keep it movin’.

  • Janae

    Here is a 16th struggle. The annoyance of black female blogs/magazines that obsess about black women being in interracial relationships.

    • Teya

      Here is the 17th struggle..The annoyance of black females that complain and whine over blogs and magazines that discuss black women issues in interracial since NO ONE is forcing them to be here!

  • scandalous7

    worst fear : FETISH!!!!

  • lola

    Ugh! Im so sick of this topic. I am african American and married outside my race. We also have 2 bi racial kids together. We have not dealt with any drama cause of race, our families both live each other and when they were first introduced it was as if we had known each other 10years prior. Our relationship is just that ours so even if someone was eyeing us wrong or trying to shade we havent noticed. Also our friends who are all races havent said anything offensive to us joking or serious. The world has bigger issues to worry about than how much I like hot sauce or he loves mayo.

  • Maggie

    I agree with you but upholding your own is difficult if you black people don’t make more black people. Can’t fudge numbers like that. Biracial people are not claiming black like they used to. And they actually have a right not to claim one side, so they are not in ‘our struggle’. Wouldn’t you agree?

  • Maggie

    seems like dating a white man is way too much work. And I can’t understand the life of me how someone can take a chance on dating a person who MAY call you the ‘n’ word. No thank you. There are many other melaninated people on the earth.

    • Jemyla

      anytime you date anyone you take the chances of that guy calling you names… b, c, n word.

      • Maggie

        I do not equate the n word to other words. If a white man (or maybe other) called me that, it would change everything and anything b/n us. There is too much history behind the n word to claim that any man can call you anything and you are ‘still taking a chance.’

    • So the right guy calls you beautiful,hold your hand,is down for you,remember what you like or don’t like,wants you to be his wife,and treat you like the princess you were told you were once upon a time but he is white, you say “no thank you” and go back to waiting for a black version of him?

  • Barbara Codner

    I date whomever I like, regardless of skin color. You should be able to date outside of your race without having to “justify” it or putting down the people of your race. After all, it’s about the two of you not everyone else.

  • ❤♥BabyGirl♥❤

    I have dated outside my race and I can tell you this…All guys are the same black white, purple, gray…However before my current relationship with my fiance (black) I had a serious relationship with another man (white) and was deeply in love. However his family was not to fond of me being black and that put a rift in our relationship. We are still friends today though it didnt work out

    • sophlames

      THAT CAN BE true, he was white and white men dont ever have problems. They stand by you even when their families dont like your skin. I think you may be a black man pretending to be a woman. White men always treat you right.

  • Dutty_Yo

    I’m sorry but these problems seem outdated. Idk what’s going on outside of the northeast but these are issues that would come up 15 years ago. Plus I thought you guys created the term “swirling”? Interracial dating topic is just not that fascinating anymore. Plus this article seems ignorant.

  • MissRealuminatti

    I agree with most of what you said. I don’t agree with the term fetish. it’s like you’re saying love with a different race is not natural. it’s a strange addiction or concept

    • MrsRivera

      What I’m saying is some people actually do fetishize IRR. Some people aren’t looking at the person but only the race the color the behavior etc purely in a sexual manner. Some people reduce other races in a purely sexual way or for some people the mere contrast in tones is a turn on. That has nothing to do with love in most cases. I think you misunderstood me Sister there is plenty of love going around in this world IR or not but for some just saying they bedded someone of the opposite race or even just dated is a strange accomplishment I’ve seen it with my own eyes before. There is nothing but natural between me and my husband and there is no strange addiction about my family. But for a few this is the case. It’s sad really…

  • iHM

    Most of these apply to all interracial relationships, I don’t see why anyone wouldn’t understand them. I do. Everyone goes through this. It’s not even a negative thing. I’m the ambassador, I answer all my friend’s weird questions. That’s to be expected, there’s nothing wrong with it. Anyone in an interracial relationship deals with these things, from Chinese men to black women to Irish teenagers.

  • Blackhawk

    I’m personally not down with the swirl.. but i really don’t care when i
    see bw/wm couples because the black women who get with white boys are
    never attractive. The first thing that comes to my mind is.. i’m not mad
    at her because the brothers weren’t showing her any love so she had to
    find it somewhere. I might would care a little if white boys were
    pulling the fine sistas, but it never seems to be the case.

    • MissRealuminatti

      Halle Berry, Sanaa Lathan, Iman, Naomi Campbell, Paula Patton are with white men

      • Blackhawk

        i was talking about regular everyday women that i see in real life.. not on tv

        • Bren

          Wow, that’s like saying bm only get with fat white women (like it used to be believed). The bw you see may be unattractive to you. They might not be attracted to you, either. But the man she’s with most likely worships the ground she walks on, can’t get enough of her and puts her on a pedestal to show to the world. So trust and believe, your opinion means nothing.

          • Blackhawk

            what? reread my comment. i said if she wasn’t getting any love from black men and have to get love from white boys then so be it.. i’m not mad at her. but the truth is the bw i see with wm always seem to be universally unattractive to bm or socially awkward so i really don’t care.

            • Janae

              He must be talking about the fact that a lot of white men like dark skinned women. A lot who are very beautiful by the way. And my girlfriends who are interracial relationships are quite attractive by the way.

            • Chanda

              Many black women with white men are naturally attractive (natural hair, little to no makeup). Not every sister that dates white/other men is going for the video vixen look.

            • NotYourAvg

              This is not to boast at all, but to correct some misconceptions. My “white boy” frequently gets the head nod when we’re in public from BLACK men, of all people, not because I’m black but because as he puts it: “You’re fine enough to make a grown man cry”. I’ve had some ignorant BM be bold enough to ask how a white man got a “black woman so fine”. It’s beyond ignorant and insulting. And NO, not all, not even most WM with BW are with “naturalistas”.

          • NotYourAvg

            And that is EXACTLY why casual dating turned into a relationship with a white guy. I have never been treated so well. At certain age, you wake up and say phuck the superficial BS- you want to be loved well, period.

        • MissRealuminatti

          Leave the hood and explore. White men only like the best and that is why black men get the white women that no one wants.

          • sarah dixon

            So why are we now dissing white woman? Saying black men go with horrible white woman.
            2 wrongs don’t make a right. Your dissing cos he did. That’s bit a way to win an argument.
            Yes he clearly is uneducated and ignorant. But don’t lower yourself!!

    • MissRealuminatti

      most of the black men in interracial relationships are with women that are the 300 pounds and resemble honey boo boo child mother

      • Blackhawk

        and why should i care about who another man dates

        • Maggie

          B/c if affects you, your daughters, your female cousins, your female friends, etc. that are single. The numbers have gotten that bad.

      • i am the devil…..ihave come

        typical white lie, i have never seen a self respecting black man with an obese white women, i guess you black women learned that behavior from your white daddy, its called conditioning

    • ebonyandivory

      well SOMEONE’s bitter…lmao! Robin Givens, Garcelle Beauvais, Eve, Kerry Washington, who are all gorgeous women, have either once dated or married a white man. Have several seats.

      • Blackhawk

        Bitter for what? I’ve never saw any of those women that u named in real life.. i’m talking about the i’m talking about the women who i see at the grocery store or the gas station. Regular women not someone who’s on television

  • Blackhawk

    I’m personally not down with the swirl.. but i really don’t care when i see bw/wm couple because the women are never attractive to me. I might would care a little if the women was fine, but it never seems to be the case.

  • amy7774

    So black people are only friends with black people and white people are only friends with white? Is this 2013?

    • Maggie

      The article talks about dating, not friendships

      • Jemyla

        I think she was talking about the fact that the article assumes that the guy has friends that are the same race and the black woman has only black friends. but I could be wrong.

  • B.

    This should have a disclaimer that says *with white men. News flash: not all black women interracial relationships are with white men! There are Asians, Latinos, Arabs, etc. smh

    • MrsRivera

      And this is more for people in interracial relationships not just black women I just think because this is a woman’s site maybe…

    • chanela

      THANK YOU! I can’t stand when people assume interracial= white people. I don’t even like white men. I like other races of men

    • Bren

      OMG, that’s what I’m SAYING! As if the relationship is only IR if the non-bm is white! I have a black female friend who prefers Hispanic men. She told me that she dated a guy for six years and got along great with his mom. However once he reached “marriageable age”, his mother told her that she was a nice girl however she (the mom) wants her son to marry a nice “Spanish” woman. Was it an insult? Yes. Was my friends feelings hurt? Of course! Did it stop her from ever dating Hispanic men again? Pst,Hell naw! Why? Because she, like other openminded people, understands that not all people from the same ethnic group are a monolith. She still prefers Hispanic men and has no problem snagging one. Oh, and she’s the color of a dark-chocolate Hershey’s bar with “obvious” African features.

  • enlightened

    I love this list MN! THANK YOU! I am in an interracial relationship as well, THIS IS GREAT because I always found it difficult to express myself to my bf how I felt about everything on this list. Now I can just send him this link and have him click through it! =D No long explanations necessary

  • unemotionalthinker01

    One time my boyfriend wanted to buy me some clothes because he had a little extra money, actually he bought himself some too and when we checked out the black guy winked at me and smiled at me in a really flirtatious way almost as if he were hitting on me or sending a message. Ive also been sent ridiculous messages about being with a white “boy” from a couple black dudes and been unfriended by a couple black guys once I got with him who I knew liked me in the past. I never have felt guilt. Never.

    • Gabie Aldrich


  • Gabie Aldrich

    This is the most Vapid, Dated and insulting list i have ever read on this site! I am in a interracial marriage I have been with my Hubs for almost 10 yrs and yes we have encountered the stares the eye rolls But If you are truly happy in your relationship you actually pity those folks with the eye rolls because they are not truly happy in their life so they have to bollock down on you to make their petty selves feel happy. I asked god for a good man who understands me a teammate in life and I really did not care what color he was….

    • SANDRA

      This list is valid !! Just because you didn’t go through that , doesn’t mean that other IR couples don’t experience that.
      2 years ago, I’ve met a white woman who dates black men and she has some negative misconceptions towards black folks and I had to check her everytime she was saying some nonsense about black people.

      • Gabie Aldrich

        If you read what I typed I do go though this! My point is when you are happy and being your authentic self the eye rolls and stares and bollocks seem very moot! I am happy that you educated someone. But the world can not change with list about stereotypes like whites can’t dance or I am going to lose my black card for being with my Hubs!

    • enlightened

      How is this “vapid” and “insulting” if you’ve been through the very things on the list? Stop being so sensitive. I am in an interracial relationship myself and i find COMFORT in this list that someone can RELATE to what I’m going through. No one in this world has said to BOTHER ACKNOWLEDGING the people that are staring. Not once did MN mention to care about the color of your partner. Stop defending yourself against something that MN doesn’t even advocate.

      • Gabie Aldrich

        I am sorry that you need a list to find comfort in your relationship.. I have My Hubs for my comfort If you REALLY read this list then you will understand why I Put that this list is Vapid,DATED and Insulting! And the list is on INTERACIAL dating so methinks that MN is talking about color!

        • enlightened

          I read every single slide and I agree with most of these. And no, Little Miss Sensitive, MN is SIMPLY describing some of the experiences of a black woman dating a white man. There is no where in this whole slideshow that says anything negative about dating a white man and NOWHERE does it say that this list embodies every single black woman who’s dated a white man

          And just because I can empathize doesn’t mean “I need a list to find comfort in my relationship.” Once again, you are reading too much into things.

          I have definitely experienced the “n-bomb problem” or the awkward phase with the friends etc. And I think it’s great that MN is putting it all out on the table. It’s more like a “OMG ME TOO!” than a “omg I need to find help with my relationship.” ITS A GREAT LIST IMO. People WAY too touchy these days.

          • Gabie Aldrich

            I think that you are the one being overly sensitive It’s fine! I think you found my comment and you wanted to prove something to yourself by putting on your Comment Battle gear Trying to “Educate” Me. I feel that us as a people don’t really understand when things like this list are not Constructive criticism it’s Dated thinking.. I live in a world where I don’t hang out with men who drop the n bomb at me so yeah, You have the right to your opinion (and I respect that) as do I. Have a nice nite:)

            • enlightened

              Wrong! Youre over-analyzing…again! No one is trying to “educate” you. If you felt that way, that’s on you. I didn’t know stating an opinion and saying why I disagreed with your views was called “educating”, but okay!

              I just disagree with you. I don’t think MN’s purpose of this list was to criticize at all. I believe, like I said before, that the list presents a few perspectives of black women who’ve dated white men. YOU may not be able to relate to it—but many others can. Doesn’t mean you should condemn this list to hell. But clearly were just not on the same page. let’s agree to disagree, goodnight as well.

    • MrsRivera

      I too share your feelings I’ve been married to my husband for seven years. Although I’ve faced some ignorance I’ve never worried about n bombs whether he can dance or not (men of all races can and can’t dance) or educating him on black movies. We are all a part of the human community and that makes everyone different no matter what race. I didn’t dwell on the fact that we were so different i mean it’s obvious so why talk about it constantly? I didn’t lose my black card etc i just gained a partner in life who supports loves and understands me and is a great father. All the other stuff smooths itself out with open ears minds and hearts 🙂

      • Gabie Aldrich

        EXACTLY!! (slow claps) Thank you:)

    • hollyw

      I don’t get it, what did the article do wrong when you actually agree with what it’s said..?

      • Sophlames

        what the article did wrong was try to present white men as having any kind of problem. It set in motion a possibility that white men might come with a few problems. The only men with problems are black men. When you date white all problems go away. BW in IR dont ever want to hear anything other than, when i date a white man, my whole world changed. He treated me right like no black man can. He does nothing wrong in life.

        • i am the devil…..ihave come

          “The only men with problems are black men.”

          This cant be life? You cant be this stupid. When you wind up as a pork roast in jeffereys freezer its gon be too late to come back


      Thank you, you are the voice of reason.This is coming from a black male….

  • chaka1

    Can someone just post the list? I don’t feel like flipping through all these pages…

    • D

      lol right!!!!!!

  • Zettai

    I don’t know what white man would be stupid enough to start screaming out the “n” lyrics on a rap song just because he has a black girlfriend (Chris Rock, anyone? LOL). Same for screaming racial slurs during an argument. Never worried about it, and it’s never happened to me. If you do worry about these things then there is a problem. What has your mate said or done before to make you think they would do these things? And why did you put up with it?

    • chaka1

      Believe it not, they do it. Some of them will say the n-word in front of you just to get a reaction.

      • MissRealuminatti

        my msn knows better than to say something like that to me. I’ve never had a white guy call me that. usually people that have never dated out of your race always make up stuff like this

        • NotYourAvg

          FACT! It’s always the people who’ve never experienced something, who will try to convince themselves and others that their assumption/stereotype is a fact. Ignorance abounds…

      • NotYourAvg

        That’s because they’re ignorant and uncultured. My white boyfriend doesn’t disrespect anyone of any race with racial slurs, regardless of the context or environment.

    • UnpopularOpinion

      It’s happened to me, some white men REALLY think they have a pass because they have a black gf. Just saying. And it’s happened to other women as well.

      • MissRealuminatti

        not me

        • Not to me either, as a matter of fact nothing on this list make sense…

      • Bren

        Then they’re the ones who deserve a kick in the behind.

        • Zettai

          EXACTLY. Someone who would do that has no respect for their partner or their partner’s culture, and the people who stay with them has no respect for themselves.

      • clove8canela

        Agreed. I know two white men who have Asian girlfriends and they seem to feel free to make whatever ‘jokes’ or comments about Asian people they want because they think they’ve got a pass. Its not ok to make the same comments your gf would say about their own race, even if you do find it amusing. Of course they probably wouldn’t say these things to their girlfriends directly, because if they did, I’m pretty sure they would be girlfriends no more.

      • Zettai

        What did you do about it?

      • NotYourAvg

        And how many black men have called a white man “white boy” or “cracka”? Too many. It goes both ways.

  • thatonegirl

    This is basically a list of reasons as to why I don’t date white guys. There’s nothing wrong with white guys but all this is to much to be going through for me ain’t nobody got time 4 that.

    • YesIdid

      BOOM! There it goes right there.

    • MsTighteyesisbackb!tches

      ol simple a$$ b!tch dont come crying when tyrone comes home with AIDS cause he was gettin fawked by his ‘homeboy” in the a$$

      • bluekissess

        Why doesn’t MN delete comments like these?

      • <_<

        Well that was ignorant….

      • Marcus

        Why are black men always accused of being downlow? What about the downlow women?

    • Shiva Amina

      Don’t hang it up completely. If those issues listed above are really that big of an issue in your relationship then it’s probably more about the connection between you two than just the issue itself. I’m getting married to a ‘white guy’ and we haven’t had issues like any of the above since we started dating. Yes, he and his friends are sometimes curious about things they have never experienced or been around, but curiosity is not tantamount to being racist. This list is very generic….imo

    • Bren

      So basically, you are assuming that you will have these experiences? So, if you’re African American and dating a Caribbean black man, you won’t have cultural conflict simply because he’s black, right? SMH.

      • thatonegirl

        I believe the article is discussing interracial relationships & not ethnicity there’s a HUGE difference. But to answer your question no haven’t been through an of this and not to the degree in which the article describes. Considering I actual have dated an Afro-Panamian guy at the end of the were both looked at as being black.

        • thatonegirl

          Sorry for the typos I’m on my phone.

        • Bren

          Nuff said. However, people are free to date who they want and not date who they don’t want. That’s the truth of the matter. I know that there are many black women who don’t want non-black men and vice versa. However there are those who do want the other, regardless of what they may hear (or even in some cases, experience). Do you.

  • Apostle Tim

    None of the issues outlined above are exclusive to black women dating interracially. I think most mixed race couples experience some of these issues and/or questions at some point and time during their relationship. But since this article focuses on the experiences of black women and the problems they may encounter during the course of a relationship with a non black male, does anyone care to expand upon why black women are not held to the same level of scrutiny as black men when the issue at hand is IR dating? Inform me why black women involved in these relationships are not labeled sellouts and self haters much like black men are when they date out? The same black women that heavily criticize black men for dating non black women will celebrate when a black woman does it. One of the part time contributors on this website is infamous for supporting black women dating out even to the point of dedicating websites and books to the subject, but refuses to support black men doing it. We all know her name but I’m not going to mention it. (C.K.) hint… hint.

    Why are black men demonized but black women are celebrated for doing the same thing?

    If you choose to answer this don’t offer me some tired excuse like “black men date white women for the wrong reasons” or “black men put black women down when they date out”.

    Those are the same tired generic excuses most women of color use to avoid being honest about why they have such an issue with brothers make a choice to try other races.

    So why the double standard? Why harbor negative feelings against who I date but applaud a sister who does the same thing?

    • thatonegirl

      I think black males are probably less scrutized then black females because it’s almost become the norm for black males to be in a relationship with non black females.

      • Wesley

        How when 90% of black men are married to black women?

        • thatonegirl

          All I’m saying is if you see a biracial child like in the Cherrios commercial your first thought is the dad’s black the mother’s white. It’s just a more common theme in relationships.

        • guest

          Key word: married. That doesn’t mean the dating rate isn’t high. I am more surprised when I see a black couple dating than I am an interracial couple.

          • Guestest

            “I am more surprised when i see a black couple dating than I am an interracial couple” Really, where do you live??

          • NotYourAvg

            I’m more surprised when I see a MARRIED black couple, period.

        • Neco84

          The least married people in America are Black women and Asian men. Notice I didn’t say Asian Men and Asian woman, or Black men and Black women. Because clearly, Asian woman and Black men are still getting married just not to each other.

      • Machone

        I’ve always thought that black men date outside their race because they can. Black women date outside their race because they have to……..

        • PolkaDots

          I agreed with your comment until you started the last sentence. But I do think that black women SHOULD date outside of their race. The brotha’s are doing it without a second thought…

          I date 100% out of my race and have been since 11th grade and I’m glad that I do because even if I wanted to date a black man the black woman and black man relationships are slowly become extinct. Its not there YET to where a b-girl HAS to look elsewhere but sadly might get to that point too soon.

          • Bren

            Becoming extinct where?

            • PolkaDots

              Everywhere PUTA! What, you think just because a B-dude is giving ONE dude some D that he is really claiming her? Yeah, best believe not. You better look outside of your door. I see Black male and EVERYTHING NOT Black woman EVERYWHERE.

              I feel bad for B-girls because unless you are a certain TYPE you CAN’T date outside of your race unless you want trash…Most races think of B-girls in a certain light. Like or not but it’s true.

          • i am the devil…..ihave come

            you have to understand, we end up dating non black women because women of other races throw themselves at us, black women hardly ever show attention to me, always mexicans and whites

            • PolkaDots

              Nope…You guys do it because you can. PERIOD.

        • Bren

          Saying that black women date “outside” because they have to is an opinion. Not all bw are interested in dating bm and there are bw open to all men. There are black women who prefer non-bm and it may have nothing to do with being treated wrong by a bm. In fact, they may get along just fine. Statements such as your makes it seem that the bw who dates “outside” is desperate about the lack it attention she receives from bm that she will use the “other” man in the interim. Nobody wants to feel used, no matter their ethnicity.

        • true to myself

          I date outside my race because I want to. Because I fine men of all ethnic backgrounds attractive. Not because I’m jaded about some back guy doing me wrong. Not because I think I have to.

        • NotYourAvg

          I’m in a relationship with a man outside of my race not because I’m self-hating, hate black men or don’t know my history, but because I got tired of wasting time with time-wasters. The guy who properly asked me out, calls (not texts) days in advance to plan dates, picks me up instead of me “meeting” him somewhere, scoffs at me picking up the check, talks about his future with plans for ME in it, and isn’t playing dumb games to have the “upper hand” in the relationship…happens to be white. So the phuck what?! I know my worth. What I’ve deserved and wanted in a relationship came in a package I didn’t expect. So the phuck what?! I refuse to be single, bitter, and accepting less than I deserve from a brotha simply because it makes black people more comfortable. When you get tired of only getting hard d*ck and hurt feelings, and someone comes along who treats you in a way that is loving, respectful and thoughtful, you’ll at least explore it, unless you’re a total idiot.

    • Bren

      Don’t hate on C.K.! All she is saying is to keep options open. Thanks for acknowledging her though! I love her website. If you went there, you would see that interracial relationships are FAR from the only thing she discusses. Keep your closed mind and she’ll keep getting hits to her site.

      • Dawn

        Women like you keep her ignorance going but I bet you had nothing to say when she went on the Tommy Sotomayor show and go roasted for her views about black and white men. She openly admitted she would not send her white husband to jail for not paying child support but she had tried to have the father of her first child (a black man) thrown in jail. She also ran from answering why she never shows pictures of her first child and why the child is treated different from her half siblings. She admitted this during an interview. I feel sorry for her black daughter. That poor child is old enough to understand her mother treats her like a 3rd class citizens in comparison to her mixed siblings. Thank you Bren for proving black women ignore stuff like that in hopes of having a mixed family. SMH!

        • Bren

          Your response is narrow-minded, ignorant and therefore falls on deaf ears. Go whine to someone who cares to listen. I’m out!

          • Dawn

            I’m sure it does as its not what you want to hear.

        • ❤❤❤

          What’s the name/title of the interview? I want to look it up. Tommy goes in regularly and it’s plenty funny!!

    • Lee Lee

      I think you’re trying to make this a discussion about BM and that’s not what this article is about…it seems whenever these discussions come up regarding BW/WM many BM try to flip the script …please stay on task and stop trying to deflect.

      • wepa 1

        Lmao exactly. Alot of bm are selfish like that and want to always have the spolight on thwmselves. Its pathetic!

    • clove8canela

      In my experiences I find that black men have been VERY negative towards black women who date outside their race. You don’t see it being discussed on blogs, tv shows or in magazines, but in the real world some black men are very comfortable making rude comments towards you & your partner as though they are owed some explanation. There was a True Life episode documenting a black woman & her white boyfriend & the comments they experience publicly & it was pretty much spot on.

      At this point, I think black women have come to accept some black men & their dating preferences & they know this is not going to change.

    • PleaseDOBetter

      I think this all boils down to perspective. There are some forums where some Black men are uplifting women of other races rather than their own. There are some forums where some Black women uplift “White is right” and tear down Black men.

      Most of the commentary that I see now (and that I also agree with), is that some/most Black women no longer get frustrated about Black men dating non-Black women. That is evidenced in some of this post as well.

      I guess what I would like to understand from your perspective is who is still jumping down Black mens’ throats about interracial dating?

    • sarah dixon

      I’m a white female and was wondering the same thing. I was also wondering why black men are always presumed to be after a trophy or money… Why is that not the same for a black woman dating a white man.
      Why do we still have these issues?
      I understand the history of black and whites and as a white woman I find the history shameful but I can’t re write history.. I can’t change what happened all I can do is treat you as you are an equal. I really hate all these race problems we have! 🙁

  • get real

    Sigh. Smh. Despite all of the racial tension in this country you guys here just cant get enough of talking about the problems that you have dating racist beasts. Enough of the white worship. My goodness.

    • unemotionalthinker01

      Let me guess calling people “beasts” isnt racist though huh? People like you are hysterical

      • gennie

        temara mowry admitted she needs to perform like a adult movie star to please her white man. i wonder if she has does the group and 3somes? wouldn’t be surprised. tha’s what u mostly see in adult film

        • unemotionalthinker01

          Um…ok…im confused about what your comment has to do with me and tamera is so conservative and still is, I doubt it.

        • Alexis Morris

          wtf? it’s not a white or black thing, it’s what kinda man your with. I have dated mostly white men and they dont want all that.

        • Anonymous

          Like Kim K had to do for Ray J…? Pics and everything?

        • ❤❤❤

          Tamera Mowry is a very religious woman. So, no, she doesn’t do ‘the group and 3somes’. And that white man of hers is HER HUSBAND so she should be performing like an adult movie star to please him.

        • It’s wrong of her to try and impress her husband in bed?

    • Nicole B

      Interracial doesn’t just mean White. There are tons of other tan and brown skinned races on the planet.