14 Totally Nice Gestures Men Do That Are Lowkey Creepy

August 12, 2013  |  
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Chivalry may not be dead, but sometimes it takes on the form of a stalker, or at the very least a creeper. Guys: we know you’re trying to be nice, but these gestures actually just send us running for the hills.

Walking you to your car

Walking you to your car/home

It’s nice that the guy doesn’t want you to be attacked by a robber—or worse—but you spend the whole walk wondering if he is a robber—or worse. And then all you can think is; “Now he knows where I live” or “Maybe he just wrote down my license plate number.” Men: if it’s the first time you’re meeting a woman, don’t walk her to her car or home, just the two of you. Put her in a cab if you really care.

Carrying your bags

Carrying your bags

You’re no fragile old lady. When a guy eagerly swoops up, out of nowhere, saying, “Let me take those for you” as he practically already is, you’re just worried he’s about to run off with them.

Locking the passenger side door

Locking the passenger side door

Is he trying to make sure nobody on the outside gets in, or that nobody on the inside gets out?? It’s especially creepy when a guy does this when the car is already well in motion, as if something is about to happen that would make you consider jumping out of a moving car!

Offering you a ride home

Offering you a ride home

Women are no stranger to Stranger Danger! The guy might know he’s a standup citizen, trying to protect you from all the creepers in the neighborhood, but he has to realize that if he just rolled up, you have no way of knowing he’s not trying to kidnap you.

Leaving a note on your doorstep or car

Leaving a note on your doorstep or car

“I see you walking in this neighborhood every morning” or “I noticed you going to work down the street and I think you’re cute…” The guy thinks it’s romantic: all you can think is somebody who you never even noticed before has been watching you! And now knows where you live or work or park.

Calling to say goodnight the night he got your number

Calling to say goodnight the night he got your number

You meet a guy at a bar, or on the beach, or in the grocery store, and give him your number. He calls you that night to say goodnight. Not to ask you on a date, but just to say goodnight. That’s not cute—that’s forced intimacy. He’s not your boyfriend!

Turning over his phone during dinner

Turning over his phone during dinner

Maybe the guy is trying to show you you have his full attention. But this is the age of technology—we all understand that people sometimes get urgent work calls at indecent hours. Going so far as to turn the phone over or off just makes a woman think her date has some other woman who might be texting.

Being pushy about paying

Being pushy about paying

Like, really pushy. Going out of his way, to flag down the waitress and have her cancel the transaction you just put on your card while he was in the bathroom, or rushing up to the counter to pay for the pack of gum you’re buying yourself, when he was all the way across the store. This just starts to make a woman feel that a man wants her to be indebted to him…

Feeding you

Feeding you

You’re a grown woman. You can eat by yourself. Maybe feeding you one bite off of his dish so you can try it is okay. But ordering a bunch of “plates for the table” and obsessively feeding you every bite makes you think he has a problem.

Ordering for you

Ordering for you

If he knows the restaurant and what to order, this is sort of thoughtful, but a man should always ask first, “Hey, is it cool if I order for us? I know the menu really well.” Just diving into ordering for you, when you were clearly studying the menu yourself, screams CONTROL FREAK!

Offering you his seat at the bar

Offering you his seat at the bar

If the guy walked away after giving you his seat in a crowded bar, that’d be one thing. But rarely do guys do that. Instead, they stand around and you feel obligated to talk to them. They’ve basically trapped you!

Driving your car

Driving your car

For one reason or another, you need to take your car on a date, but the guy insists on driving. In fact, he just assumes he will be! He’s standing at the driver’s door before you’ve had a chance to pack your purse. A bit misogynistic, no?

Bringing you lunch to work

Bringing you lunch to work

If your boyfriend does this, it’s one thing. If a guy you’ve only been on a couple of dates with does this, that’s just a forced date—now you have to have lunch with him, when maybe you’d planned on eating a sandwich over some spreadsheets. It could also mean he looked up the address of your work, and even lied to the security guard or receptionist about who he was so he could get in.

Bringing you flowers on a first date

Bringing you flowers on a first date

Valentines Day, or your birthday—fine. But on a first date? What is this: the high school prom in 1980?

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  • Chris Mugglestone

    When it comes to locking car doors. Firstly, as others have said many car doors lock automatically over a certain speed. Secondly a lot of people will lock doors when in the car for safety, to prevent them being opened from outside (something someone as paranoid as the author should be doing anyway). Finally, I’ve not had a single car where doors cannot be opened from the inside even when locked. My current car has a deadlock feature which will disable the internal handles (to prevent someone smashing a window and being able to open a door from from the inside), but it can only be done using the remote when the key is not in the ignition.

  • Paul

    OK, so either the author was trying to be funny and failed, or these are the things that make her feel creepy (which says a lot about how judgemental she is). Some of the things on the list have the potential of being creepy depending on who does them and how he does them but most of them are really really far from being creepy. Like leaving notes on the doorstep or car of a woman who you just met once or twice, that is kinda creepy, but offering to carry the bags of a woman you dated 2-3 times that is not creepy, (why the heck would he run with your bags?). And locking the doors of a car, especially in the city, is not creepy, unless you give her a killer look and say “we’re gonna take a little ride outside the town, where no one ca hear us”. The list has some potential creepy stuff but they are over exaggerated and I think these are the author personal fear. And it’s not even funny….

  • Eric Matterson

    If a man acts like he doesn’t care and is rude, then they complain. If you are nice to them they claim it is “creepy” or smothering. Some women are malcontents

  • Ginny Mobley

    I think it’s great if a man’s a gentleman and it’s SH*T like this that has them scared to do so. Shame on you for not letting men be MEN. You can still be a strong independent woman and have a man do these to you..that shows he’s a man and cares. geesh.

  • Bambalamb

    Turning his phone over??? Most of this article is complaining about guys that are way too nice and it comes off a CREEPY vibe, because they feel we are getting TOO CLOSE or whatever. Yet you complain about the guy turning over his phone, out of the fear that he is talking to another woman or worse… When he is really just trying to show you attention( last I checked that’s what a lot of girls are looking for ) don’t you think the woman in the situation should come off as sort of a CREEP.

  • To the author: you are one paranoid person, you know that? I agree with a few of these, but really if you’re that paranoid some guy you gave your number too last night is some ceeper-psycho, then you shouldn’t be giving it out so easily.

  • sandre

    I hope no sane man who is truly interested in dating a woman takes this article’s advice. This article is literally INSANE or a parody of feminists. And men: If a woman you are dating shares the beliefs of this article RUN, don’t walk, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION!!!!!!! She is a walking emotional & psychological disaster and will make your life a living hell. If a woman is pissed off at you for walking her to her car or bringing flowers, thank your lucky stars that she showed her true colors so quickly and saved you the time wasted and heartache!

  • Anonymous

    Can’t I just be nice to strangers without being suspected? I mean, when I do something nice for someone I don’t even think of anything in return.

  • workerbee

    Sorry I would have read the list beyond the second page but with the obnoxious slide show format combined with super slow loading times and the blinking adverts, I had to bail.

  • Arturo Q

    Locking the passenger side door – If you are driving at any speed worth owning a vehicle opposed to walking, it would be wise to lock your door to minimize any chance of it doing anything it shouldn’t while the car is in motion LMAO!

    Turning over his phone during dinner – Most likely means someone is calling him about less important matters than the ones at hand, duh.

    Walking you to your car/home – And the solution is cab fare? I should throw money at the problem? Ok, lets say I do. How much money do I put down since I am forbidden to know how far you live from the current location lol?

    Calling to say goodnight the night he got your number – Who does this? I bet this one does not ACTUALLY refer to MOST men. This is lowkey thirsty to do whether you are a man OR a woman.

    Feeding you – Not so problematic in the title as it is in the description. Once again, who does this (at least in the way described)? This sounds more specific to a few men than all.

    And if a guy does these without your opinion in the matter they are just plain inconsiderate, but even still these do not refer to most men at all:

    Driving your car – Sounds like a scrub more than a misogynist.
    Ordering for you/Bringing you lunch to work – Sounds like he is trying to waste his money on uneaten food.

  • dougbowker

    Most of these are not at all what the author is saying they are. Take the “locking the passenger door” thing. Most modern cars do that automatically, as soon as you are in motion. It’s safety, not entrapment. And it doesn’t disable the passenger’s door lock BTW.

    And walking you to your car? I’ve had more women ask me to do that than not. Now if I offered on my own, and the woman said “I’m fine, it’s just around the corner, etc” I’d of course leave it at that. But honestly, who even thinks about the guy is doing it take her plates down? Seriously? You can’t have a relationship, even a casual friendship, that isn’t based on some level of mutual trust.

  • Honkytonk Sue

    From the tone and perspective of this article, the female author must have been in a controlling abusive relationship. No doubt about it, if you experience a man doing all these things and more, put on your big girl pants, and end this relationship before it starts and he thinks he can control you. Individually, these actions can be seen as courteous, gentlemanly, possibly romantic, depending on how he treats you otherwise, and how you allow yourself to be treated. Girls, don’t ever think that feeling like a victim is ok, it’s not. Respect yourself, know that you are strong and make your own decisions, and listen to your own good sense and intuition or gut feeling-it’s always right -don’t ignore it.

  • orionsune

    Nothing like an article like this to demonstrate how women tend to overreact. This is also a form of fear mongering. Let’s make everyone scared to talk to anyone, yeah great idea.

  • Bryan Monteith

    Middle age gay guy. Just viewed the slideshow out of curiosity. Obviously men interact differently with men than men and women. I would honestly find most of these behaviors more condescending than creepy if they happened to me. The most annoying thing about each slide, without a doubt, was waiting for the same video ad to take 20 seconds to load for each slide.

  • youguysareparanoid

    the car auto locks when you put it in drive you paranoid schizo!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Delta 123

    This article is just ridiculous. ‘he wants to carry my super heavy bag!” “HE LOCKED THE CAR DOORS, SOMEBODY HELP ME!” idiot

  • Whatever

    Most cars these days are set to lock the doors when the car reaches a low speed (5mph?) in drive.

  • derek

    Great points! Take heed out there all you creeps! Next time you’re driving in the pouring rain and some vulnerable damsel is outside looking at her flat tire and looking longingly at vehicles going by… do the right thing and let her wait 3 hours for the tow truck. Or let her fix it herself (yeah – I said that to be funny. Fix it herself? Yuk, yuk, yuk!).

    Next time you see a sweet thing packing bags clearly a bit heavy for her just shut up and watch. DON’T BE A CREEP by trying to help. And DO NOT hold the door open for her you sleaze! How insulting would that be? In other words guys – stop treating women like they are anything important. We’re all “equal” after all. They are capable of everything – and now they’ve figured us out for the jerks we are. Let them fend for themselves on every level and if they give you the fluttering eyes and the sad look of “I need help please” – explain to her you will not be a threatening neanderthal misogynist. For her own good it is. Have a beer with your buddies and watch the damsels of the world solve their own problems without any help from us dudes. It’s good comedy much of the time.

    On a serious and non-sarcastic note… STOP paying the tab for them. They work. They get a paycheck. They are more than happy for the free drinks and the free meals they shake their a$$e$ for. Stop. They see that as the efforts of a sap and you should know that by now. Let them be “equal” and pay their fair share – and watch their complaints coming forth on that.

  • Nunyur_Biznezz

    This article sums up women. If you’re nice you’re a creeper/stalker. If you’re not nice then you’re a jerk. In other words guys there is no satisfying a woman. No wonder I stay single.

    • Not_in_Denial

      I agree. Some of this might make a little sense if you’re just trying to be careful with a strange man, but if it’s a date? Hopefully at that point being nice isn’t going to evoke major attitude from a date, but then again if it does would I care to even see this woman again?

  • Toni

    Whoever wrote this is a complete moron and doesn’t know the first thing about Women….and if it’s a woman who wrote it…this seems to only follow what SHE is interested in. She obviously only interviewed her three closest friends for this article and not the majority of women.

  • Foxhunter

    She left out when a guy smiles and says hello. How creepy!

  • TheMaxxx

    Hey genius, the vast majority of cars automatically lock the doors once the car stars moving and reaches a certain speed.

    Freaking brilliant.

    Why would an editor allow this to be published on their site?

  • Unplugged

    It’s creepy if I turn my phone off during dinner? Turning my phone off at dinner is not only the polite thing to do, it would be downright rude to keep my phone on, let alone answer it. I don’t expect my date to be interrupted by phone calls and I certainly won’t be taking calls during dinner. Where do you take your dates to dinner? Big Boy?

  • iamthefredman

    After reading this I am so glad I not a black man. Y0u guys got it tough. See what happens when you try to do something nice ??!!

  • Driven ToWin

    This is why professionals no longer date American women…..always paranoid, etc b/c they’ve been screwed over b/c they preferred to date douchebags when they were younger.

  • Chester Beedle

    You do realize that on 99% of cars just pulling the handle will open the door right? One of those safety feature things…. And the few that don’t, it’s not hard to actually unlock them.

  • JStaller

    Things I learned from Madam Noire’s pictures: Only black men are creepy.

  • mancavedude

    Done all these things and many in one night ,not because I am a creep and really wanted to or that it is who I am my character as a gentleman, We men do these things just for the poontang nothing less nothing more

  • nobody

    This article is lol stupid.

  • Wyo3232

    All excellent advice! And I’m sure that whoever wrote it, she hasn’t gotten laid since the Reagan administration.

  • Ant

    Time for the author to come out of the closet. We support you, but don’t bash men because you wish they were feminine. Sad

  • Ant

    Wow, women have gotten super insecure. Unfortunate. Afraid of your own shadow too ladies ? Obviously had nothing else to write about this week…

  • Marc Flores

    turning phone over or off during dinner is a bad thing? That should be classified as good manners….this article makes me feel both annoyed and pity for the author and anyone else who feel the same

  • JamesT

    Does the writer know that many cars automatically lock the doors, some only after the car starts to move forward?

  • Brosky

    Julia Austin is a bitter angry f-ing c*nt!!!!

  • Liza Lou

    The author obviously has social issues. Hate to say it, but probably a little less attractive than her friends. Meooowww…..

  • Sencho

    The author of this article appears deeply wounded emotionally, and really should seek counseling. There’s no shame in mental illness. There is, however, shame in providing warped advice that’s askew because of latent mental problems.

  • JJfunkenstein

    I think this writer is referring to aggressive black men. Generally speaking most black men are aggressive.

  • F. B.

    Hey, keeping the the car doors locked while driving is simply a safety issue. They’re less likely to come open in the event of a severe collision. Most cars also don’t give the driver separate power lock buttons for different doors (just one button to control all of them).

  • Jason the monster

    This is a poorly written article that sounds like some bitter woman who has not been asked out on a date for many many years. Some of these are a little sketchy for a first date, but most of them seem to be genuinely nice. Maybe it’s true that women are only interested in assholes. Works for me.

  • Disbelief

    If someone is going to steal your bags, they’re going to punch you and run. With passenger doors – the cars lock themselves. Damned annoying. I couldn’t go past page 4-5, it’s author is paranoid and absurd.

  • Rick

    You’re totally nuts. Do it, it’s creepy. Don’t do it, you’re a looser. You have absolutely NO idea what you’re talking about. YOU are the one who needs an education.

  • Ellie

    I don’t mind small acts of that are polite, like offering a ride or something (though I might still turn that down) but to be honest, I don’t want chivalry. I just want to be treated like a person,and if we turn out to like each other then I hope we can both be “chivalrous” to one another. Why is going out of the way for a person reserved for only guys to do? Being kind should be something people always try to do for everyone.

  • Canis Dirus

    Call ahead.
    Let her fully inspect your car, including trunk, while you stand 50 feet away at all times.

    She sits in the back of course, directly behind you.

    Eat at a public spot, and afterwards maintain a 30 foot buffer.

    Have a nice date.

  • John Jasper

    Locking the car doors? I guess my truck and previous cars are creepy then since they automatically lock the doors when you go over 5 mph. Don’t flatter yourself honey, the world doesn’t revolve around you.

  • Navywife75

    Really all of them were stupid as HeLL Its called raising a Man right! The ONLY one I had a Problem with Is HIM thinking HE is driving MY CAR!!! I have been MARRIED over 18 YEARS and I am THE DRIVER of MMMYYYYY CAR because I PICK my cars very seriously!! PONTIAC G8! I have only Let a FEW drive it INCLUDING my HUBBY!

  • Groo

    Some paranoid women out there.

  • Forger

    What’s creepy is that picture of the woman pushing her car barefoot … who does that??

  • AA

    This entire list is assinine. Are you serious? This is a list of behavior that women might experience or expect from a man? Yeah, maybe one in 1000. Spend your energy publishing something realistic and useful.

  • Hassan

    The author is heavily paranoid.

  • Julia Arnold

    No wonder men are confused and women unhappy its advice like this that makes finding and enjoying a new relationship a mine field ! Most of it is just plain hogwash! If women act the way the writer wants a lot of men will say “to heck with it she’s not worth the trouble!”.

  • Gregory Jones

    So if this were an all white site, with no black advertisements, what would most people think of it?

    • stephenf

      You said it.

      • stephenf

        Oops, sorry…meant to “amen” the comment underneath this one (my screen sometimes does this shifty thing when an ad drops in after loading), but really, this one’s an interesting question too.

    • kikojones

      If it PURPOSELY excluded them it would be a problem, but it looks like that’s not the issue. Also, do you really want to have this convo when talking about roughly 11% of the population? In other words, are you saying that white folks don’t have enough media presence and should be included everywhere?

  • John Rose

    Of course, I think this whole article has to do with the fact that it’s written for self-obsessed jackasses who watch WAY too much Lifetime Movie Of The Week…

    • stephenf

      You said it.

  • Mitchell Glaser

    Is any woman stupid enough to see value in this article?

  • Don’t date paranoid women who have been hanging out with the wrong types.

  • Chris

    This is the dumbest article ever written. Seriously. Sure, a couple of those things could easily be taken as stalker-ish but bringing flowers to a date is somehow a BAD THING? Je-sus H. Chrystler Plymouth Dodge!

  • WendiTardis17

    I love articles like this. Look, girls are super sensitive.Heck, I think her next article should be: how to NOT tick girls off with text messages you thought were 100% innocent. That said, I’ve been doing two of these things for ages … wonder if I’ve ever driven anyone away because of it. I usually turn my phone down and over during dinner and I walk a girl back to her car on the first date. Now I know better. Shoot. Dating’s complicated.

  • Pieareround

    Re-title this “14 reasons that you do not have a quality man in your life.” 3/4 of these are based on your neurosis and of the remaining 1/4 every guy I know would ASK FIRST before doing. Your list of demands will get smaller as you age, eventually requiring just 98.6. Unless you luck out sooner and find a guy into bitter, angry, narcissistic women.

  • Jason

    My wife insists that I order for her everywhere and I get dirty looks from waiters more often than you’d think.

  • TroyGale

    This is what the dating process is supposed to bring to light.
    If you are so insecure that you feel uncomfortable with a guy who pays you respect and attention, then don’t go out with him a second time!
    Anyone who believes that there are rules to be followed is going to attempt to control the relationship so that it conforms to their rules. That isn’t a problem in my mind, just be open about your agenda.
    I’ve had 50 years to understand women, I am either a slow learner, or pragmatic, take your pick. No two women are the same, the shouldn’t be treated like they are. There should only be 1 rule that both abide by on the early dates, be respectful of each other! Play nice, because that is what you should be doing, you are finding someone who you can play nice with for decades of your life. That ladies is a mutual gift that you can give to each other. Everyting else is just so much B.S.

  • DTD3283

    The only ting I saw that could be described as “creepy” is leaving the note, all the rest are just people being nice.

  • penel9

    This is one of the stupidest things I’ve bothered to read in a long time. Some good points to ponder but Goodness! It just kept getting worse and worse, I couldn’t resist.

    • CynicalAtheist

      They DO get paid to write this stuff, regardless of quality.

  • PSAGuy

    Goofiness…..Women are getting paranoid today. Glad I’m married for the past 36 years. Don’t need this nonsense anymore.

    • CynicalAtheist

      THIS particular woman may have all these hangups, but all I saw out of any of them was someone being nice. I guess I am not THAT cynical about the human race.

  • SMS

    What a stupid list!

  • Seriously

    I actually deleted my entire comment to this ridiculous 14 things that are creepy. You need help, bringing flowers on a first date is creepy? Does your creep radar go off for a guy breathing? You need help.

  • disqus_voZMEm0h4O

    I’ve gotta say, going through this list is some-what appalling that something like this would be featured on a source with the term “Madame” in it’s title. All of these so called “reasons” that are presented of males being “Creepy” are the stand point of whats makes an immature GIRL find creeped out, and not a mature grown WOMAN. Non of the “reasons” stated have any credibility in being something creepy unless you are an idiotic little girl who has no idea how a real man is actually suppose to treat a WOMAN. And what the hell is up with number 13? Julia Austin must seriously be one of the most idiotic Women’s Journalist if she actually thinks people expect to drive another person’s car on a first date.

  • Ariel Feliz

    Guys dont listen to these lists, it all comes down to how attractive you are to that individual woman. If she likes you at all nothing you do or say is creepy, its flirting. If on the other hand shes not interested everything you do or say will be seen as creepy, its just that simple.

    • John Jacob Astor

      this is so true haha

  • Jesus Reyes

    What kind of paranoid bithc are you? It is exactly that type of misinformation that has these already damaged, paranoid,bitter women making us walk on eggshells. Let us be gentlemen for God’s sake – it is not MY fault someone else hurt you – we, as you, are NOT all the same, some of us are looking for a loving relationship, and we just want the opportunity to adore you as a Queen…

  • Clows

    If any woman (or man) has a problem with anything mentioned here, you deserve to be alone.

  • Lonnie Beerman

    Geez! Are women really that paranoid? Are men really that sinister?
    My mother raised me to do most of what was on that list, because that’s what gentlemen do.
    Oh, I forgot. Society has become so narcissistic that “gentlemen” are ridiculed and jackazzes are glorified.
    My bad.

  • dec458

    Was this writer active in the feminist movement?

  • sofi

    this is why I only date asian women. There’s nothing feminine about American women,..75% of them are fat anyway, which eliminates them from what men want.. I like a girl that likes to please a man, unashamedly, unabashedly, in all ways,..you neurotic American ladies with your ambien and anti-depressants and your messed up minds full of NOW propaganda..,go on thinking men are creeps, that all sex is rape, that you don’t need to please men since Oprah said it’s OK to be a fat slob,..all I can say is,..thank god for asian babes.

  • Happily married to a nice guy

    Seriously? No wonder men are confused, when gentlemanly behavior is classified as creepy.

  • Caren Wilson

    I don’t agree with most of this list. We don’t want men to feel they can’t be trusted at all. I see any of these as creepy but sort of romantic. If a guy’s a creep, grown women know how to ditch him but these actions in themselves are not usually creepy in my world.

  • Sir Walter Raleigh

    Surely this is a provocative joke. No one is this cynical or paranoid.

  • Schuyler

    The author is assuming a guy would want to do these things for a woman who comes to paranoid conclusions about his efforts. My bet is this lady has been on her share of first dates, but few if any second dates.

  • Serenity Rose

    wtf is wrong with the person making this article. i love when i get walked to my car, asked to carry my bags, drive me home, half this article, yeah ordering for me is a no no, but the rest is mostly cool and cute

  • Laura Gammons

    OK…Some of these things are charmingly southern and downright good manners and we expect them here in the south. The “Hey I’ve seen you around thing” & finding presents on the doorstep if the man has never been invited over are both creepy. But flowers on a first date, him driving my car(I have an SUV…if he can’t handle it I’m not interested), or him paying for the date are awesome. Everyone is on their best behavior in the beginning…if a guy doesn’t make big efforts to begin with he sure as heck isn’t going to try harder LATER and I can’t imagine what kind of a slack-ass couch jockey he would be in 3 months if he doesn’t bother to offer me his seat in a bar!

  • Rhydelus

    The trippy part is that if she asked you to do any of this stuff, and you declined, you’d be labeled an ‘insensitive jerk’ …you are danged if you do and danged if you don’t guys

  • jamall X

    What up wit dat tangy stuff? Bitc$s be plaining bout all dat stuff and I just be trying to get into that sh*t!

  • Holy. Moly. You know, maybe you ladies had better just stay in your homes at all times, its safer there. If you do venture out, definitely don’t talk to or even look at any men, way too dangerous. You women present an interesting dichotomy…that of not wanting to be the 40 year old single lady with 4 cats, but also of having such preposterously narrow and fear ridden standards that you and your creeperphobia craziness will scare away any decent, normal guy. Good grief. I say man up, be adventurous, and go live. And if you’re that cripplingly afraid of physical assault, go take a self defense class and carry your pepper spray.

    And shame on this site and the ridiculous Julia Austin for your fear mongering…youre not helping!

  • Holy. Moly. You know, maybe you ladies had better just stay in your homes at all times, its safer there. If you do venture out, definitely don’t talk to or even look at any men, way too dangerous. You women present an interesting dichotomy…that of not wanting to be the 40 year old single lady with 4 cats, but also of having such preposterously narrow and fear ridden standards that you and your creeperphobia craziness will scare away any decent, normal guy. Good grief. I say man up, be adventurous, and go live. And if you’re that cripplingly afraid of physical assault, go take a self defense class and carry your pepper spray.

    And shame on this site and the ridiculous Julia Austin for your fear mongering…youre not helping!

  • Falcon D. Stormvoice

    This woman sounds insecure and fearful.

    Turning his phone over doesn’t make “you”, as in collective femininity as a whole, think that the man is cheating, it makes YOU, the woman writing this article think that. Other women aren’t that paranoid.

  • Rich

    A very, very sad article.

  • SargintRock

    Another ploy to destroy any decent tendencies that a Gentleman should exhibit.
    And all the under 30’s are wondering,”What’s a Gentleman?”

  • Lennon

    Grandma used to say,”if chivalry is dead then women killed it. Ladies know a gentlemen when she encounters one.” She further “learned” me thus: treat a woman the way she acts. If she acts like a lady, treat her like one. If she acts like anything less than a lady… Oddly enough, women don’t know how to be a lady. It’s not their fault. It’s primarily caused by a constant inner battle that women endure in modern society. Our patriarchal society demands their independence while it is a woman’s nature to be nurturing. Claritas: #2,4,5,8,11 are legit chivalry. The rest are just plain weird.

  • lester jones

    signs that a woman like julia is a psycho bitch-she criticizes everything you do and say. eve n when you are trying to be nice and sweet. Men: as soon as the nagging starts-RUN!

  • luv2zzzzzzz

    What a load. Who wrote this garbage? Her writing license should be revoked.

  • Nick D

    OK, they told us, like 20 years ago that it was no longer OK to hold the door for a date or pull out her chair, and now we can’t do any of this other stuff? What’s left? If my date is so paranoid and amazingly sensitive that she misinterprets EVERY kind gesture as mysogony, then I don’t need her. Enjoy your Friday night alone watching “The Piano” with your pint of Ben & Jerry’s.

  • Norman Robinovitz

    It’s hard to tell if these story is just meant to be funny or if the writer is a really paranoid person whose had a nightmare of a social life.

  • barbaraoert

    this post is stupid and confusing. most of those things aren’t creepy at all!!

  • Jenn

    The author of this piece seems a tad bit paranoid. Does she realize that many cars AUTOMATICALLY lock their doors once they reach a certain speed? Because that helps them to stay closed in a crash, which is for the occupants’ protection.

  • NCHog123

    I stumbled upon this “article” and thought I would give it a read. It is the nuttiest thing I have ever read. It directly tries to correlate kind acts with harm. Julia Austin needs spiritual and mental help. She is a creep.

  • Livvie

    Wow, this is just…sad. Perhaps I am, as a woman, atypical, but most of these behaviors are desirable in my opinion. I wonder, after hearing this diatribe on what classifies a man as “creepy”, what she considers acceptable behavior for a woman. Sure, go ahead and answer that call from your friend about what shoes to wear…be paranoid about the car doors AUTOMATICALLY locking. Goodness honey, you apparently need a formal screening process to get a date. Perhaps as a woman, I shouldn’t give a man the chance to open a door for me…and then thank him for it. Nor should I express pleasure that he brought me flowers. In my world these are nice things that show he is truly interested and is willing to spend time trying to impress a little bit. I’ll bet that she wouldn’t bring a nice bottle of wine to his house if he cooked her dinner…or offer to cook him a nice dinner when she learns what he likes. Jeeze, after a few months, bring a bottle of wine for dinner, and perhaps a bottle of his favorite scotch or whiskey for after dinner. Maybe make a little something for dessert…it’s a two way street. But maybe that’s the whole point, you don’t ever intend to reciprocate, so you don’t want them to do anything that might lead them to believe that you ever would.

  • Ian W. Reese

    To all younger women out there. Disregard most statements made in this article. Who ever wrote this is clearly in her late 30’s early 40’s. Obviously single. She most likely has been a raging “see you next Tuesday” for most of her life. Hints to why she is single. No kids, her birth-control which she ultimately hasn’t needed since she was 25, has screwed her hormones up beyond belief, and rotted her eggs at the same time. Most men aren’t nearly this stupid. And half the aforementioned statements in this article are down right creepy. But if a man is creepily doing any of these things to you. You either set yourself up for it. Or he is a straight creeper. Oh and men like this aren’t stealth or go undetected you can spot them from a mile away. All the woman who wrote this article was trying to do here today, is keep bright young women single. She aimed to make you think every guy is a creeper. I mean ask yourself. When have ever not loved a beautiful floral arrangement. If you have shown the dude, or told the dude where you work “which is the #1 question asked on a first date” most women love receiving a floral delivery. Men rarely bring lunch up to your job either, or try never. If they wanted to have lunch, they would simply ask to take to a spot close by. If you are stranded on the side of the road, you’d think a women would be reluctant for help. You have to consider she already sent her girl a text indentifying this strange man. In conclusion, the only place this author will get you in life is 30-40 lbs overweight, at age 33, hanging out in bars Thursday thru Sunday drinking beer. Complaining that you are over weight and need to go work out. Your gonna think the guys you meet at said bars are soo cool. And the are just useless low-life douchers. And all your gonna do is complain about men. And complain how you cannot find some corporate executive. When that time came and gone. That is all.

  • FBMcGuffey

    Dumb article… I mean really – forced intimacy? Forced date? Julia Austin honestly sounds like she has a problem with strong men.

    There is some merit to a few of these points.. you should never call a woman the first day she gives you her number unless she has explicitly asked you too… not because it’s forced intimacy… just because it makes a guy look desperate.

    Some of the points in this article are wise… don’t let a stranger give you a ride… ever.


    Look ladies, If you want a real man and you want him to be nice, funny, and into you… then let him also be HIM.

    Men LIKE to DO things.

    We LIKE to protect… no, most of the time you don’t need it, but it’s built into us to do it… let us. We’re not saying you’re incompetent, weak, scared, etc… we just LIKE TO DO IT.

    There is nothing wrong with bringing a lady flowers on a first date… just depends on which type of flowers. If he brings you some, politely thank him… it’ll make him feel good and doesn’t mean you’re promising anything… good grief!

    If a guy wants to pay the bill… let him. Don’t fight him on it. It
    doesn’t mean we think you’re indebted to us… that’s just an over
    thinking problem of feminists.

    Everything a person does for another CAN be creepy if the guy/gal IS creepy… and you should ALWAYS follow some general date safety when you’re first meeting somebody… but don’t use this article as any kind of measuring stick… It’s a poorly written diatribe by a woman who likely has issues with men.

  • Chriss Markey

    I read just two of these idiotic helpless hints before I realized this is a totally stupid, utterly bs article written just to fill space and complete an assignment. It remains, sadly a waste of ‘ink’.

  • THX1138_on_Disqus

    Julia, your list of creepy things really only reveals how paranoid and strange you are.

    You somehow manage to find something offensive about what most people call common courtesy.

    While assuming he’ll drive your car may be a little odd, most of your other objections are, well, creepy themselves.

  • ODWms

    I thank God I’m off the market. I wouldn’t want to be out there today for anything in the world.

  • spoke

    I am just glad the women I have met in my life do not adhere to this kind of ridiculous litmus test for male-worth. To be fair, I have been married for a while now and do not date anybody but my wife. Still, I was brought up in a way that many of the things mentioned here are just common courtesy. Holding the door open for women walking after you, offering your seat on a bus, bar, etc, offering to carry bags, …

    You may have some valid points, they are just lost among the ridiculous remarks.

  • jdp

    Only two or three of these “creepy” items are creepy. Let me tell you how to fix all the others: say NO!

  • Meg

    I agree with a few of these but honestly take a risk every once in a while if a guy offers you his seat whats the big deal, if you look at him and know right away hes creepy don’t take the seat. i mean always be careful but you also have to give a guy a chance every once in a while.

  • Kenyon Vincent

    Now sexist is this article?

  • Megan Kristine Bentley

    As a woman, sometimes I turn my phone over at dinner because I don’t like the reflection off the glass. What nonsense some of this is.

  • Disquantified

    Damned if we do. Damned if we don’t.

  • Steve

    Locking the passenger side door? “It’s especially creepy when a guy does this when the car is already well in motion” Apparently you haven’t even been in a car in years…most cars lock the doors automatically at speeds around 10-15 MPH.

    • Kenyon Vincent

      Mine doesn’t, but I have been in some that do. But then again, this article was fabricated to enhance the already tired cliche that’s out there about us guys.

  • James Michael Mercik

    This is one of those articles that says way more about the author than it does about all those nutty guys who offer to carry your bags or pay for dinner or make sure you get to your car alright…. what creeps!

  • disqus_zZMBYnM1OP

    “What is this? The high school prom in 1980?” That one comment communicates much of what men find a turn off from women. I thought the article was actually pretty good about identifying “trouble men” until that last statement. That sort of disdainful, condescending and snotty attitude is one of the biggest red flags a man looks for when dating. No man wants to be with a woman who is going to denigrate him at every social turn. You think dissing a guy is okay if he does a snafu, well get used to short term relationships, because everyone does a snafu on occasion, and if they have to be concerned you and the girls will discuss such things at length then enjoy your life of first and second dates.

    • Kenyon Vincent

      Pretty much what I wanted to say to a girl I went out with a couple of times this year. I came to realize I was just a meal ticket and free baby sitter.

  • r

    On most newer cars, the doors lock automatically when you get up to 10 or 15 mph. So I guess only go out with a guy if his car is at least 20 years old.

  • Big Bill

    Who wrote this horrible, horrible article? Wow.

    • Kenyon Vincent

      Either a woman who can’t find a man, or a woman that’s hyphenated. Haven’t really looked at the name.

  • Lord Skeletor

    This has got to be one of the dumbest, most ill-thought out articles that I’ve read in months. And that’s saying something, as I regularly troll idiot-infested places like HuffPost, MotherJones, etc. Most of this stuff is just pure, plain manners and decency. Sure, some of the stuff like accepting rides from strangers is good advice, but the rest is just pure, moronic, stupidity.

    So “turning your phone over/off” isn’t a sign of rudeness, it’s nothing more than subterfuge to hide the screen from multiple incoming texts from other girls? Please. Grow the hell up.
    If you’re out on a date, the phone goes in the pocket or pocketbook and it doesn’t come out until it’s over. Period. Show some actual decency, common sense, and manners.

  • NorthernPaladin

    Locking the passenger side door after the car is in motion… uh. Not sure the author realizes this but a lot of cars do that automatically. Once I hit about 10mph, the doors autolock.

    Also, wow, the more I read, the more I think the author just needs some therapy. Offering someone a ride home is just polite. It’s an offer. If you’re uncomfortable with it, try saying no.

    And having your phone out on a date is rude, not creepy. Worrying about who might be calling this guy you’ve never met before, now THAT’s creepy.

  • NorthernPaladin

    Walking her to her car is creepy? So….letting her get accosted on the walk to her car is less creepy? I should buy her a cab…..to take her to her car? Because cab drivers are definitely less creepy than a random guy? Sense. This makes none.

  • Mike Anderson

    LAME!! The WORST advice I have seen from a rag in a long time!

  • Random Generic

    Lowkey creepy describes the author of this “piece”

    • Kenyon Vincent

      Is “lowkey” low-key or is it some new word???????????

  • Ben

    Why would you write this article? Please stop writing garbage like this and wasting people’s time. Yes.. women don’t want creepy guys to do anything for them, and would prefer to not deal with them altogether. However, I have had women tell me they prefer nearly everything you cited as “creepy”. Find another career please because you are terrible at writing articles.

  • Marina Calis

    I read these articles so I can critique them.I never,ever believe anything they say.These magazine articles are fictitious,not real and a means to control how a woman thinks.If they say do your hair this way…I do the opposite.I really hope women would stop reading these articles…This is another form of genocide.Why wouldn’t you want a man to open a door and treat you with dignity and respect?

  • Cruball78

    Okay….so is it creepy when my car automatically locks the door when I shift into gear? Is my car a stalker?

  • James Penrose

    “Going so far as to turn the phone over or off just makes a woman think her
    date has some other woman who might be texting.”

    Unless you’re in a committed relationship, this belongs under “Stuff women do that make men think they are creepy or dangerously jealous”.

    Creepy stuff cuts both ways.

    But then, this site uses words like “Va Jay Jay”, which sounds like a Kindergartener’s word.

  • YaPiDo

    A Russian woman would respond very differently on every one of these points, especially the bringing of flowers on a first date. In the US, guys who do this stuff probably are dangerous, or at least obnoxious.

    • Kenyon Vincent

      Well this isn’t Russia, so it doesn’t apply. I have given a flower on a date and I don’t consider myself creepy. You’re just as bad as the author.

  • sage58

    Does anyone still question why men have such a hard time pleasing us ladies? As the headline says, “- – – nice things men do that could be creepy – – -“.
    It’s so sad that men and women have come to this. Honesty is the best policy, but when courtship is in the making, how to distinguish the lines in the sand? Cross? Don’t cross? At what point do you ask permission for the most mundane gesture? How does one judge the action? From whose point of view? One person’s sweet is another’s creepy?
    We need to acknowledge the confusion first. Perhaps that’s when another dialogue can be created; one in which both decide together what ground rules to follow.
    But then, would that not interfere with one’s romantic gestures?
    What a shame – – – BUT- I’ll tell you I’m an honest person who admits to being perfectly guileless. I almost never expect the worst in people. My husband did quite a few of these “things” and I loved it. Married 9 yrs. now to him and haven’t a single regret and still love like it’s the 4th month together.
    Sometimes, you just gotta give it a chance – – –

  • pr


  • Ruben B.

    As a man who preaches chivalrous decision-making when it comes to women, this is perhaps the most wretched example I have ever seen in terms of “what not to do.” It is lists like these that killed the modern-day gentleman. I have done all of these things (except maybe the one where I called to say goodnight after getting a girl’s number) and it has never gone unnoticed. In fact, I’ve gotten those “wow, men don’t really do this anymore, you were raised properly” comments that make me want to do it even more. The author of this atrocity should take it down.

    • appleblossom

      A few of them are kind of “really?” Number eight and fifteen for instance but the rest of them, YES actually those ARE creepy.

      • Kenyon Vincent

        I sometimes give a single rose. I think that’s not creepy, but it’s also plenty, especially since I’ll be buying dinner, burning gas and probably buying 2 movies tickets/snacks.

  • guest

    i would love it if i met a guy who did these things, it shows hes thinking about your needs not his… gheez… lighten up lady!

    • Kenyon Vincent

      I do some of these things. It’s also why I’ve been shunned. I was “trying too hard to impress” was the wording I got.

  • swen

    Lol, the author of the article obviously doesn’t realize most cars lock automatically at 10-15 mph.

  • Yeehaw

    Gotta love the censorship on this site, hahaha. TRUTH HURTS

  • Real Guy

    This is why black women are the least married demographic in the USA

  • David C

    What a bunch of misandristic crap! Perpetuating this bs only makes it harder for men when dating. I’ve done some of those so-called creepy things over years. Given flowers or a single flower on a first date and the women were receptive. It was taken as a nice gesture. Nothing “creepy” about it. Pulling over to help a woman out, walking her to her car, helping her carry her packages or groceries and/or bringing her lunch at work — even though you’ve only been out two or three times are considered by the author as “low-key creepy”? Somebody’s suffering from a third degree ex-boyfriend/husband burn.

    Based on author’s “expert insight” on men, I would presume that she would disapprove of my girlfriend’s acceptance of the lunch I brought her ON THE SAME DAY WE MET ( I got her a Happy Meal as an ice breaker, I over heard her stating she was hungry. So was I). We’ve been dating over a year now. Good thing this article wasn’t out then. I may have been accused of being a “low-key” creep.

    • Kenyon Vincent

      Marry her. If she likes you after buying her fast food on the day you met, she’s a keeper.

      • David C

        Plans are already in motion.

  • Mistaa Nice

    HAHAHA! Just practicing

  • John P. McKenzie Cosby, TN

    Well, jerk? Who are you?

  • John P. McKenzie Cosby, TN

    Who’s the “jerk”?

  • BR

    Turning off your phone while having dinner at a nice restaurant isn’t creepy, it should be common sense. This author must be a 20 year old airhead.

  • John P. McKenzie Cosby, TN


    DISQUS is a conversation network

    Disqus never moderates or censors. The rules on this community are its own.

    Your email is safe with us. It’s only used for moderation and optional notifications.

    Don’t be a jerk or do anything illegal. Everything is easier that way.

  • John P. McKenzie

    The good Lord knows American wimmins are GREAT judges of male character.
    Hey marry a muslim – I couldn’t care less.
    Never-the less I just cannot bring myself to slam a door in your (Ho! Hummm!!!)
    pug ugglies … good bye.
    I mean it.
    Gone, gone with the wind.
    Frankly Scallop I do not give a clam.

  • John P. McKenzie

    Ho! Hummmm!!!

  • Jack


    1) Don’t walk her home, say: “Goodnight and good luck, hope you make it home!”

    2) Tell her, “Are you an idiot? Next time, bring a cart instead of carrying all those bags!”

    3) If she locks her door, say: “Hey, you’re really beginning to creep me out!”

    4) Wave and smile as you pass her, yelling: “Need help? I hope you find some!”

    5) This one actually is creepy for a guy to do.

    6) NEVER call her. If she calls you, say: “Some woman said it was creepy if I called too

    7) Put the phone right in front of you, and read the texts and answer the phone.

    8) Break out the calculator and tell her exactly how much she owes, saying: “I don’t want
    you to feel indebted to me.”

    9) Say: “This is MY food, I paid for it, it goes in my mouth. Feed yourself!”

    10) Say: “I’m not a mind reader, order it for yourself. Order anything you like, you are paying for it!”

    11) Turn to her and say: “Why don’t you try getting here earlier, use your head and get here earlier!” Turn back around and enjoy your drink.

    12) If you don’t have a car of your own, you shouldn’t be going on dates.

    13) Call her while you are at lunch and say: “Hungry? I’d have brought you something, but some man-hater told me that it was creepy to do that!”

    14) Say: “I’d have brought you flowers, but, ugh, how 80’s!”

  • Brian Wright

    What an absolute crock.. How did you get this job Julia Austin?? While I would never do about 1/2 the things mentioned in this farce of an article- the other half are gestures of consideration and respect for women that many of us were raised to believe is the proper thing to do.

    • Chris Wallace

      Just filler for a bad article.

  • Historybuff

    Wow… I did not know that I am so out of date.

    I do many of these things… for my wife of 47 years. I love her, and want to make her happy… and for her to feel honored. She does many similar things for me.

    Good thing I am ‘out of date’, I guess. I feel sorry for the ‘fashionable’ younger generation.

    • Kenyon Vincent

      I’m 31 and it’s no better for me than the teenagers. I wish I were AT LEAST your age, back when men were able to legally be men. I do envy you.

      • Historybuff

        Keep searching… I am convinced there are many fine women that do not buy in to the ‘politically correct’ idea of romance. But for what its worth, my 30+ year old son feels just as you do…

        • Kenyon Vincent

          There are a few good ones out there. Some girls like real men who do this stuff. Some just run away clueless.

  • laurie66bay

    Some of these things seem a little bitchy to get mad about. Ok, feeding me would get old pretty quick, but carrying bags or walking me to the door or locking the doors in the car. Nothing wrong with those.

    • Kenyon Vincent

      I opened my car door for a classmate when I GAVE HER A RIDE HOME IN THE RAIN recently. She thanked me sincerely. She also has asked me to walk her home. Yes, we know each other, but I’m 12 years older than her (I’m 31), so that kind of disproves some of the points in this article.

  • Metric-Buttload

    Seems this would have been more appropriately titled “14 Totally Nice Gestures Men Do, that paranoid and judgmental women willfully misconstrue”

    • Brian Wright

      Love it 🙂

  • Earl McLaughlin

    Articles like this make me happy to be married and not have to date in today’s culture. Some of these things i would do for anyone just because it is the right thing to do for your fellow man. But now we are told we are creepy for the values that we are taught by the parents who actually gave a damn about what kind of person I became… Sad. This just makes me worry all the more about the future of this country where people have ZERO regard for anyone else… God Help us.

  • grownman

    some of the things you mentioned could be part aof a person upbringing, or maybe all men should act like a**holes , and thugs

    • Kenyon Vincent

      Deep down, that’s what they sometimes want. Women are attracted to it since they go more by emotion than logic. “Nice guys finish last” isn’t a cliche. It’s a sad truth.

  • mike

    No offense, but the author Julia Austin sounds like she has a lot of trust issues.

    • Kenyon Vincent

      Trust issues are one thing. I have a few myself. But this broad takes it a little too far.

  • Gabrietastic

    Why do people have to be so reactionary and negative instead of trying to understand where the author is coming from? Seems like a lot of negative personal attacks. Sometimes we have to be looking out for our safety, I love chivalry but there are different things that are appropriate for different people. It’s called diversity.

  • Randy Kaplan

    Much of this list is very helpful; everyone sometimes needs to take a step back, see things from someone else’s perspective, and we’re often surprised – “I didn’t know that came off like that, I’ll have to avoid that/restrain that impulse in the future.” When it comes to man/woman stuff (or same-sex, if that’s your thing), we can all use any help we can get.

    But a couple of these things are just childish, or, to be honest, manifestations of WOMEN being control freaks. If your first thought when a man helps you carry your bags is that he wants to steal them, then either you are shopping in the wrong places or dating the wrong men. The odds of this being anything but innocent, helpful, and friendly are minuscule, and some men like to project a certain physical grace as an essential part of their masculinity, simply because they find that the kind of women they like respond to it. Nothing wrong with that.

    Being creeped out by the passenger side door locking? Are you kidding me? Don’t you understand how electronic car door locks work? That EVEN IF you have already locked your door, when you shift the transmission out of park, a safety interlock automatically triggers the locking mechanism, the electronic version of testing your front doorknob to make sure you locked it and the door is fully closed? You are going to get skeeved out by how a car’s locks were programmed at the factory? How paranoid and childish is that? If a man reminds you to buckle your seat belt, even if you are already doing so, should you worry that he wants to tie you down and pull out the rest of the bandage gear, or should you simply think that it’s good that he listened to the teacher back in drivers ed and developed good safety habits – which include the driver of the car affirmatively taking responsibility to see that everyone is safe and secure? Chillax – there’s NO WAY this isn’t a Good Thing.

    Nine times out of ten, if a woman thinks that a man is being pushy about paying, one of two things is really happening. First, and most of the time, this is a control-freak thing being done by the WOMAN to the MAN. Every man who dates online or goes on some kind of blind date is tiresomely familiar with the deadly female insult of “I’d-rather-die-than-be-obligated-to-the-likes-of-YOU-for-even-the-price-of-a-Big-Mac-you-creep.” It’s a calculated control-freak insult. If you accept a date, YOU are obligated to accept, unless there is egregiously offensive behavior, that the man who invited you out has already himself accepted the implied obligation to pay and it is your obligation to accept it gracefully and to say thank you, even if you didn’t have a good time and have no intention of seeing him again. It’s also simple manners not to make assumptions about the manner – i.e., if he jumps to pay for your gum or candy bar or to tip your parking valet if he’s met you at your parked car, etc. – in which he pays. He may simply have been taught by a good woman in his life to make sure he pays for everything and to try hard to make the date special and memorable. These are polite gestures, nor control-freakery – in fact, misconstruing them is the control-freakery, an effort to maintain control over something that you HAVE ALREADY AGREED TO RELINQUISH. Note also that sometimes, men who do not naturally push to pay for everything to this degree are doing so for another reason – it’s because the woman has already signaled, either consciously or subconsciously, that money and status and male generosity are things that are important to her and that she expects. Or, more often that you might think, a woman, when the conversation has naturally turned to the “what kind of work do you do?” has signaled that she DID NOT LIKE what she heard in this part of the conversation, and is already dismissing the man as financially inadequate or incompetenr by her standards. Women do this A LOT, and they don’t like to admit it. It’s like when women put in a personal ad that they hate it when a guy sends them pictures of him sitting in his car or riding his motorcycle, and they don’t care about your toys. Fine – except that if you scan any random ten women-seeking-men ads, you will find at least two or three who talk about loving rides down the coast in a convertible or being on the back of a Harley. And now you want to criticize the materialistic nature of the guy who sends pictures of what many of you say you love and is important to you? Pure hypocrisy. You can’t act a certain way and then demand that the man not react in a normal and predictable way to your action, especially when he is simply trying to please you or to fit into the picture YOU’VE painted.

    Ordering for a woman is wrong? Look – not that long ago, a man ordering for a woman in a nice restaurant was the standard of good etiquette. It’s what I was taught to do, and I don’t care what anyone says, it has an air of romance, of “I want to orchestrate this evening to the best possible outcome” that is intended to please a woman, and she should not take it the wrong way. Besides, a man is not EVER supposed to CHOOSE what a woman orders; he is supposed to make small talk over the menus, make passing suggestion (or frame inviting questions such as “Do you like lobster? The surf and turf here is spectacular” so she can be comfortable ordering an expensive menu item.” Likes and dislikes – such as food – are a normal conversation topic on dates. I was taught, at some point in this process, to ask if my date has decided what she would like, and to discreetly play waiter by asking what accompaniment/side dish choice they prefer, so that when a waiter arrives at the table, what is supposed to happen is that the waiter asks if he can take your order, and the man is supposed to address his date and ask, “May I?” If she says, no, that’s all right, shut up and let her order for herself. If she smiles or nods, you tell the waiter, “The lady will have fill-in-the-blank, with the baked potato and sour cream.” A properly trained waiter would then ask, without addressing either party directly, “How would you (a neutral pronoun because it is both singular and plural) like that cooked?” and, unless the man knows the answer from previous dates, at THAT point he defers to her and she answers for herself. It is also completely acceptable to ASK if she would like you to choose appetizers, or if she would enjoy some non-entree that you have previously enjoyed at that restaurant. These gestures are good manners, gracious, and should NOT be taken as an assumption of female weakness or incompetence. To do so is obnoxious control-freak stuff.

    If you object to a man offering you his seat at a crowded bar and then trying to engage in polite conversation, then you SHOULD NEVER ACCEPT THE OFFER OF THE SEAT IN THE FIRST PLACE. Expecting a man to walk away as if his mere presence is objectionable is FAR RUDER than the alleged forcing conversation on someone. You know what? Meeting people and having conversations are two of the reasons bars exist. If you don’t want to converse, you know what to say. You say, “Thanks for the seat, but I am waiting for my date/my husband,” and you shift your body language AWAY from the man. THAT is how you graciously accept the polite offer without obligating yourself. A decent man looks for and responds to such signals. If he is unpleasantly persistent, just walk away. Judging him negatively for being polite and simply looking for an opening is WAY over the top. What kind of control freak are you if you seriously expect a man to offer you his seat and then seek another time zone before you have to sniff his cologne in the vicinity? That’s just ridiculous and rude. You might as well be Sheldon from the The Big Bang Theory saying, “You’re in my spot,” and you would be displaying as much incompetence in normal human interactions as he does.

    If you think that the gift of flowers from a stranger on a first date is somehow wrong, you should not be dating. Thoughtful gifts and gestures are wrong? You think that the only time a man should bring flowers is at prom? Suppose you are friends with a couple, and the woman passes away in an accident. Are you trying to move in on the man if you sent flowers and a note of condolence? This is insanity. If you think this way, then you need to assimilate one simple fact: you are the kind of woman men hate to date. In fact, you are the kind of PERSON that other people hate, period.

  • Apothis

    Of course the guy assumes he is going to be the one driving on the date. Guys don’t like to be driven around by women….for a number of reasons.

  • anthonyS

    Such a shame that this pathetic writer treats those nice things that gentlemen do, as stalkers.

  • Mike

    Whatever the opposite of misogynistic is what this article is.

    • Metric-Buttload


  • flagirl336

    Some people are just an offense waiting to happen…

    No wonder some women can’t find any nice guys anymore.

    Seriously…someone needs to change who she’s dating.

  • Joey Felix

    Horrible list! Every woman I’ve met that had these thoughts about these actions was a total spazz and a woman I stayed as far away from as possible.
    Think about this ladies:
    The more paranoid about all of this that you are, the more we as men (the ones of us that do this chivalrously) wonder if you have alterior motive for spending time with us … and the less likely we are to hang around.

  • Joe

    I would never even think of ordering or trying to feed anyone but a small child. BTW the doors automatically lock on most cars today when they are put in Drive.

  • bob jones

    This s$%^ is stupid.

  • sayitaintsobo

    What kind of IGNORANT TWISTED BlTCH writes this insulting garbage ?

    Decent men ( gentlemen ) are NOT Boy Scouts in desperate need of doing their ” good deed ” for the day and are NOT so crude as to insist on carrying a stranger’s bags or walking a first date home unless there is obvious distress.

    Modern automobiles feature ” anti burst door locks ” which keep the doors from bursting open during a collision, – but ONLY if they’re LOCKED. Its about SAFETY you lDlOT.

    Most of the rest of this list seems to be contrived for the purpose of adding verbage to a terribly insulting and boring essay.

    I must say however, that even IF you are a perfect stranger, accepting the offer of MY seat at a busy bar obligates YOU to a cheerful introduction and a few moments of friendly conversation. Either THAT or be prepared to relinquish MY seat in a ” LADY LIKE ” fashion the moment your drink is served.

  • Ctrylwyr

    You must be great fun on a date. Damn, I’d hate to be stuck in your head.

  • Daniel Revas

    If a Guy turning off his Cell to give you his undivided attention is “Creepy”, then I would only have one thing to say to him…RUN!

  • origamigirl

    Most of these gestures are too over the top. They are red flags that foretell a controlling partner. These men would be looking for a woman who is a little unsure of her boundaries, and then slowly (or maybe not so slowly) claim ownership of her. The flowers on a first date like they do in the movies smacks of desperation. I am much more comfortable when guys just act natural. OK, not too natural; no belching or crotch grabbing. But keep it real, be yourself, and be honest.

    • Metric-Buttload

      and I assume this is why you will always be single

      • origamigirl

        Well you know what they say about making assumptions. You couldn’t be more wrong Mr. Buttload.

        • Metric-Buttload

          Unlikely, If you are not, you will be

  • chop

    The best advice for young men today is stay away from women. There’s a reason marriage rates are plummeting.

  • Richard Vandiamondsworth

    Strangely, none of these gestures are creepy to women if you look like Brad Pitt.

  • ali_Shabazz_Kingfish_Stevens

    You know what’s “creepy” about women? Everything. They are nothing but smelly (perfume is not soap, ladies) overly hormonal PMS bags who are never happy unless they are tormenting some male dumb enough to try to please them. And “diva” black women are right up front at the head of that line. So you know what, ladies? Hold your own damn doors, drive your own damn cars, stand behind me while i sit at the bar, feed yourselves, and while you are at it, go “F” yourselves, too.

  • Vance

    If the gesture is totally nice then it won’t be “lowkey creepy”. Ladies, just say no if you don’t want a man to be chivilrous. Also get to know men before you go out with them. Finally, if you find men creepy in general you probably don’t like men. In that case focus your attention on women. After reviewing the 10 totally nice gestures I think that this writer doesn’t like men.

  • Dumb.

  • miss_msry


  • truthwinz

    Pardon my language……….
    This is all total crap.

  • Black Knight

    The author of this article is probably single and has no idea why. Nice job instilling fear and paranoia in women.

    The next time you fix your lips to say something stupid like “chivalry is dead” remember, you were holding the knife

  • Curtis Griffin Jr

    Dave Chappelle said it best: “Chivalry is dead and women killed it!”

  • John V

    This writer is one bitter FemiNazi!

  • bigfatslob

    Initially these cautions seem absolutely ridiculous , that is until you realize this is in Madame “NOIRE” and the men most dealt with have about a 50% chance of being an inmate in their lives 🙂

    • miss_msry

      Please tell me you didn’t go there.

  • Two_Feathers

    Being near 70 I find it a sad commentary on “today” that so many of these “creepy” things are the very thing we were brought up to do.

  • whatsheistryingtosay

    This is coming from a woman that probably needs make-up/perfume and dressing a certain way to get a guy, men have to do this naturally and not cover-up their flaws, we try not to hide anything and if kindness is creepiness then this is probably a woman that likes guys who put her down and abuse her(mentally or physically). I am assuming this based on the fact that she wants equal rights so men should treat women as women treat women(expecting anterior motives). The meme that has Al Bundy saying “don’t try to understand women, women understand women and they hate each other.” I know not all women are like this but this is a way to influence others to think like her. I am assuming there is no research to this and is strictly her opinion based with no factual info at all.

  • meeeeeeeeee

    So women are sexist and paranoid schizophrenics? I would definitely say this is prejudice since this says that women assume the man has ill-intentions. Women have just as many ill intentions like talking to a guy at a bar just for him to buy her drinks, sugar-daddy payouts, etc. Can madamenoire post an article about women who do things that are blatant signs to run away screaming?

  • tictok

    This b s ‘tip sheet’ proves women are paranoid adolescents. Quit worrying about
    make-up and how your breasts look and grow some solid character and real
    confidence. Personhood isn’t encouraged or taught by your female peers or
    mothers. Your time is filled with false emotional support, coddling each other in
    victimhood over what jerks men can be and how you all are superior.

    If your intuition was really off the charts and you all were intellectually more savvy,
    then these scenarios would be assessed accurately for what they are (the man has
    good/bad intentions) and not some Lifetime mini-series drama. Hopefully society doesn’t
    have to wait for 2 generations for women to not turn 40 and realize the brass ring
    they went for doesn’t allow a relationship to flourish and we can all stop seeing
    these articles written with a 10 year old ‘monsters in the closet’ mindset.

  • donnie91604

    What an idiot article! The writer is a paranoid schizophrenic!

  • ticktock

    This bs ‘tip sheet’ proves women are paranoid adolescents. Quit worrying about make-up and how your breasts look and grow some solid character and real confidence. Personhood isn’t encouraged or taught by your female peers or mothers. Your time is filled with false emotional support, coddling each other in victimhood over what bastards men can be and how you all are superior.

    If your intuition was really off the charts and you all were intellectually more savvy, then these scenarios would be assessed for what they are (the man has good/bad intentions). Hopefully society doesn’t have to wait for 2 generations for women to not turn 40 and realize the brass ring they went for doesn’t allow a relationship to flourish and we can all stop seeing these articles written with a 10 year old ‘monsters in the closet’ mindset.

  • Ole Shep

    No wonder today’s young people have such a terrible time finding Mr. or Ms. Right. This whole article pretty much outlined how not to meet and become acquainted with women in my opinion. There has to be some mechanism to serve as the proverbial ‘ice breaker’ or you just may as well put your hands in your pockets and shuffle off. The whole article seemed very pessimistic to me.
    I was raised as an only child and my mother taught me to respect and honor all of the women in my life. I was married for almost 40 years before losing my wife to Parkinson’s disease. My wife told me that what attracted her to me was the fact that I treated her with respect like a lady, I had a nice car, and she liked my backside (?). LOL
    Physical attraction is part of the package ladies and I know that you all get that so don’t get all bent out of shape when a guy gets a little clumsy trying to attract your attention. We are not all pervs and you are surely intelligent enough to know the difference. If not you are in real big trouble.

  • Not a black guy

    I guess if a black man were doing these things, I’d agree with the article.

  • Andrew K

    I guess my wife married a creep. It was heartening to see all of the comments that disagree with this “article”. Julia Austin you are a sad bitter woman.

  • Jason Morgan

    Its funny how you females scream to be treat like lady, but refuse to act like a lady. Yet at the same time you want to be treat as equals, whatever that means.

    • garble

      Equality means – the gov’t forces everybody to give special rights and privileges to females so that they can continue pretending that they earned them and are just as good as men.
      Women, the new n1qq3rs, always sponging and demanding more freebies and entitlements with no accountability.

  • jeezuz

    This site seems a bit racist, where are a few token whites? C’mon…what would Obama say?

  • badster

    I don’t think women deserve these nice gestures either.

  • shepdogsd

    Turning off the phone is creepy? If a woman thinks that she is paranoid. It’s the man who should RUN! Run as fast as you can!

    There are lots of legitimate reasons for turning off a phone. 1) You are a real estate agent (or other profession) with people calling all hours. 2) Single dad with teenager who calls you for everything (“Dad…where are my gym shoes?”). 3) You have an annoying EX who doesn’t care what she interrupts. 4) You plain old don’t want to be disturbed and enjoy your evening!

  • Daocfiend

    This is a stupid article. Whoever wrote it makes herself seem clueless, paranoid, and bitter.

  • James

    whats funny to me is that I got halfway through with the slides before I realized every person in the slides and the stories below were black. Pretty sure if a website that caters to a European crowd were to do that it would be considered discriminatory but hey I guess that diversity and inclusion stuff only works 1 way?

  • Charelemain

    Most of theses are about the most unattractive attribute of women, fear. Would a smart guy be able to pull any of these off with a self confident woman? Would a guy scare off those fearful women and quickly find those intelligent self confident beauties? Chivalry is a sharp sword.

  • Scott

    On the car door locking while the car is in motion, in most cars that is an automatic thing that happens

  • TheFlashingScotsman

    Slow day at the office? Most of this stuff NEVER happens, the rest is completely innocent. I hope I never run into any women that take your advice seriously.

  • Alexander Henry

    All men should read this article — chivalry is dead; women killed it. Trust me, you will get far more attention and interest if you act rude and disinterested. If you try and be the nice guy, some chick is going to label you “creepy.” I’d rather be a jerk than “creepy” any day of the week.

  • Scott Musgrave

    Wow! The fact that you find some (not all) of those things creepy, tells me you have a serious mental and self importance problem. I really hope that you have seeked counseling. I’m not trying to be rude (as i’m sure you feel attacked from what I have written as well.) But really, you need some therapy.

  • Chris

    For pity sake, 99% of what you call creepy is old fashioned NORMAL.

    I’m so sad for men these days, they want to be what they’re intended to be, what’s in their DNA from long before feminism hit the stage…the protector/provider. LET THEM BE what they are!

  • GarthBock

    Who wrote this ? Frosty The No-Man ? Are you some kind of goose stepping Femi-Natzi ? Look lady, just because you are some dried out old harpy that no one wants to touch, doesn’t mean every man is psycho stalker. There are still men out there that were raised to be decent, polite and caring in regards to women. Just because a door is held open, or a compliment is made, or flowers are given on a date, doesn’t mean that the man doing it is some kind of twisted sycophant that your distorted sense of reality perceives. Just because you are on some kind of Gloria Steinem high, doesn’t make you the spokesmen for all women and the judge,jury and prosecutor of all men. Do the world of favor….stay out of SanFranciso….there enough gay men there without you making more of them……

  • TheTruth

    Locking the doors of a car? That happens automatically, usually around 18 MPH, in probably 70-80% of the cars on the road, and virtually every new car.. Not creepy, just ignorant. Also, MOST people think it’s rude when a date DOESN’T turn their phone off/over/silent. Flowers on a first date? What happened, did you completely lose any sense of romance in your life? Sure, a big bouquet of flowers is weird, but maybe a handpicked flower, or just a couple stems is just being nice. Maybe the guy really actually likes you and wants to make an impression. A lot of other stuff on this list though, I have to agree with, but some ideas you’re a bit oversensitive and/or paranoid.

  • Cherub Rock

    What a dumb article.

  • JR

    Man hater supreme. Run from this women.

    • mt45

      I guarantee 100% that the same woman (and type of woman) would complain if a guy didn’t walk her home.

  • Rob

    How about if the gesture is unwelcome you simply say so instead of quietly judge the man to be creepy.

    • miss_msry

      That would be the sensible thing to do.

  • JBnID

    Sounds like to me she should try staying away from the paranoia juice.

  • ShinyKnight

    I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess this woman is still single, because no matter what man tries to do something nice for her, she sees it as a form of control. Chivalry is dead, and mostly because this woman stabbed it in the back!

  • TheChuck321

    This person clearly has some deep rooted issues better sorted out by a therapist. Paranoia, low self-esteem… I mean really, me turning off my cell phone on a date means other girls are ringing my phone off the hook? No, it means I want to pay you my full and undivided attention to get to know you, It’s a date, not an Angry Birds play-date…

  • schapkj

    This is a creepy article. I wasted my time on it.

  • Seriously?

    And tomorrow, this “writer” will post an article about how men just don’t do right. Forever alone.

  • Gr8N8

    I am so glad to see the overwhelming amount of comments about this article state that this person clearly suffers from paranoia. Sounds like she’d be happier with a guy that slams the door in her face as opposed to one that opens it for her.

  • Cl4tgp

    I’m thinking the writer of this ‘article’ is a bitter woman who has never had any of these gestures extended to her and wishes they had and in an attempt to appear desirable is denigrating those who do give and receive these gestures.

  • tubman

    Julia Austin- remember that name guys. She is the pathetic nut case that wrote this rag of an article. Don’t ask her out…….LOL

  • MikeDugas

    Just another story to create more barriers between men and women. So now being nice and cordial is creepy.

  • Coffeecup

    If a man (or a woman) who I am dining with left their cell phone face up and kept checking it (as a person would be inclined to do if it was face up and texts or calls came in) I would feel why are they wasting their time with me if they don’t care what we’re talking about. I have had friends who were expecting a call and gave a heads up (“I’m expecting a call from “X” and if they call, I’ll have to take it”) and I’ve done the same at times but for the most part, if I’m with someone, I don’t have to be on-call 24/7 to the rest of the world.

  • Jim

    I agree, whomever wrote this is a bitter B**** Most of these simple gestures are & always will be completely normal.

  • Kathryn Henricks

    What a sad & paranoid outlook this writer has!! I, too, think flowers on a first date is sweet. Then again, I’ve been married for more than 15 years to a complete romantic. He still opens doors for me (something our 12-year-old son also does, for me & any other woman), & brings me flowers (often from our gardens). He did these things from our first (blind) date.

    • garble

      So you don’t love your son ? Teach him what vile, putrid things females are, otherwise you do not love him.

  • Jim

    Most paranoid article I have ever read! Scientifically designed to make women leary of ANY social interaction by ALL males. ‘Course, WOMEN are never guilty of being a control freak, overbearing, ignoring boundaries or any of the other negatives listed in the article. Are they?

  • Norman Hatfield

    I agree. Chivalry is dead. And do you want to know who killed it? (Anti) Feminist idiots like you.

  • PixelPerfectionist

    Julia, you are beyond paranoid and insecure. A lot of these are total rubbish and personally I find it offensive. You paint this picture that all men are petty thieves, stalkers, cheaters, rapists, etc. We’re not all trying to steal your groceries or take you away, this is absolutely ridiculous and you’re just perpetuating this negative perception of today’s males.

    New cars lock themselves automatically once you pass a certain speed, statistically speaking a locked door is less prone to open in the event of an accident.

    Calling to say goodnight – A little fast in my opinion and something I’d never do but you willingly gave him your number, opening the door for communication.

    Turning the phone over – Why is your first thought that there’s another woman? Seems really insecure, have you been cheated on before? In any regards having your phone out during a date, face up or down, is generally considered rude.

    Offering his seat at the bar – It’s an excuse to start a conversation. If you can’t handle speaking to strangers at bars (you know, the place where people go to socialize?) then don’t take the seat. Often times the bars I frequent are all packed and there are no seats available, offering yours in exchange for conversation seems like a given.

    It’s women like you that killed chivalry, the only company you deserve is a cat.

    • lol

      She needs about a dozen cats to solve err hide her issues from the world. At least she can write articles from her home so no one in public has to be exposed to her “bathsalt” induced mentality.

  • Deaux

    I never hold doors for women, I don’t pay on dates, and I seldom look up from my texting when I’m on a date. Hell, I barely notice women that aren’t naked in my bed. They seem to like it.

    • garble

      There’s no need to notice females, except when they are being useful for the only thing they are good for. In the future, do not bring them to your place. Meet at a motel and both sign the registry.

      • john p mckenzie

        And the TOTAL motel bills you have paid? $9.75 I’d say. Take care you seem to be “garbled” – Morons are as morons do. Out.

    • John P McKenzie

      Do you ever date “living” wimmins?

  • Commander Balok

    My guess is that Julia is heterosexually challenged.

    • miss_msry

      My guess is Julia is a Joe, with a sense of humor.

  • al

    I don’t see anything wrong with a single flower on the first date, so long as it was clearly meant to be a first date.

  • sirglenn

    Ummm… almost everybody commenting disagrees with this article. That is highly unusual.

  • Don Juan

    That writer’s a romance blocker.

  • Bacon

    Wow lady, you have deep seated irrational issues, enjoy your cats.

    • lol

      How can I like this 100 times??? You got that right. I knew I loved bacon for a reason.

  • Doc

    What stupid suggestions and paranoid insights. Did the writer ever actually have a date? Turning off your cell phone means you have wife or girlfriend? Are you kidding me? Most of these were pure pape.

  • Tony

    Wow. just plain wow. since when is being nice creepy? Oh, I guess being well-mannered is now a bad thing.

  • Ana Banan

    stupid article. wrong. Has no idea what women are about to print such things.

  • Figmo JustFigmo

    As one of the 135 million males in the US who has *NOT* raped anybody I would like to say “thank you” for freaking out my next blind date.

    Also – you do realize that front doors *CAN* be opened from the inside even if they are locked, right? It is only rear doors that have the child safety feature of not being able to be opened from the inside. So locking the passenger door can *ONLY* mean “nobody on the outside gets in” and is nothing to be worried about.

    Unless you are a man hater who sees rapists hiding around every corner with their fly already undone waiting to pounce on the next unsuspecting female….

  • Myherofails

    This author sounds like a paranoid nutjob.

  • Yeah right

    Uhmmmm this writer has some strange “logic” and some rather old fashioned ideas also! Really creepy when the writer points out that for “some reason or another” a woman takes HER car on the date. Welcome to modern times writer! It’s not odd that a woman uses her car for a date as much as a man would use his.

  • Old fashioned and proud

    I respectfully suggest you may have some issues with men Julia. Also, congratulations: many if not most of your lowkey creepy designations may just kill off what little romance is left in the world.

  • BigTexas

    Apparently women now days have no idea what a gentlemen is.

  • Screwtape


    I will not lift a finger to assist a woman if I see her in obvious difficulty. I will continue to assist other men, as then I cannot be accused of being creepy. Perhaps the author should get over herself.

  • WesternMDFan

    This article just adds more support to the notion that women are terrible judges of character which is why that end up in bad situations with men. The first lesson to learn is the most black men have criminal record and/or several babies that they could care less about.

  • WesternMDFan

    I noticed all this photos show black men with white or light skinned women….this is the same in tv commercials, etc. Don’t black women wonder what’s going on?

    • LibIQ=ZERO

      This is a 100% Racist site! GOOD BYE!

  • theelviscerator

    What is this an instruction set on being a spinster?

  • photocal

    This is a once in a lifetime chanel to look at, what a drashy bunch of garbage.

  • photocal

    This is a once in a lifetime chanel to look at, what a drashy bunch of garbage.

  • Lady Bramble

    How sad. It’s 2013 and women still have to worry about “creepy” men. Why? Because nobody seems to notice that women – ALL women – have to organize their daily lives around the threat of male violence. From carrying pepper spray to being on high alert because a potential stalker brought flowers on the first date (we can never just assume he’s a nice guy), protecting ourselves from males is considered a completely normal way for women to live. Yes, I know, I know: most men aren’t stalkers and rapists. Unfortunately, though, 99% of all stalkers and rapists are men. Maybe it’s time to stop thinking articles like this are representative of nutty women. The statistics speak for themselves, and the ladies are getting a little tired of complaining about the problem. It would be nice if the fellas would start speaking out for a change. We might just begin to think you’re nice guys after all.

    • garble

      What a load of garbage. You poor pitiful weak willed female. Boo hoo hoo, womyns studies and the religion of man hate and perpetual victimhood have indoctrinated you well.
      P.S. after 40 years of man bashing misandry, we’re not all nice guys anymore. The ones that at nice are the ones who haven;t been burned yet. When everything comes crashing down, expect your just desserts haggis.

  • gavilan

    As for #4…a lot of cars lock automatically once you engage drive or get up to a certain speed.

  • Blackened144

    The author strikes me as a women who would stand on the neck of the perfect guy while crying about how only “jerks” are interested in her.

  • jambo

    14 reasons to not date a paranoid woman who can’t accept kind gestures for what they are without reading creepiness into actions that isn’t there.

  • Men

    Whoever wrote this is a moron. You must be the type to date a complete douchebag and then complain that he doesn’t do anything nice and that chivalry is dead. Get over yourself, not everyone wants to stalk or rape you. Women like you deserve those Jersey Shore rejects who bang you once then never call you.

  • joshua kit

    Girls who use the word “creepy” are themselves creepy.

  • Rose

    I don’t agree with the flowers one. It’s not creepy! Depending on the woman (and the guy, I guess) it might seem a little dorky, but it could also be very endearing. Maybe it’s not a great idea because some women seem to really be put off by it, but as a gal who loves flowers, it would definitely be endearing.

  • sunsmasher

    This article is very poorly written. If you don’t know the guy then a lot of these items make sense. However, to say it’s creepy if a guy turns off his phone at dinner, or brings flowers on the first date is simply ridiculous.
    This woman has a very strong streak of cynicism in her.

  • Greg Black

    Its only unwanted if she doesn’t like you.

    That said, use good judgement, and try not to be creepy.

    I have an alpha male friend. I went to the bar with him. This very attractive lady came up to him. The things that came out of his mouth were vulgar and disgusting. I am sure a lot of ladies would have bailed. But this one didn’t. It wasn’t the last time I would see this.

  • Bill Hicks

    Hmm…I have to say that the vast majority of these things are appreciated by the vast majority of women in my experience, even living in a major city.

  • Erkel

    The entire piece was rendered ridiculous with the line “Put her in a cab if you really care.”. That’s ridiculous.

    Put her in a cab if you really care

  • Lou Caldwell

    Have you lost your mind, or are you from New York? I am from the DEEP south, and I would do most all these things, and if you think thats creepy, then you are creepy to me

  • Jim


    If you don’t trust a man enough to let him walk you to your car or home, DON’T GO OUT WITH HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

  • WilliamDahl

    I have been known to stop and change a woman’s flat tire.
    I have been known to stop and push a woman’s car out of the middle of the street when she ran out of gas and was blocking the lane.

    I guess I should not automatically assume that women can’t do these things and let them figure it out for themselves so that they won’t think I’m some type of stalker creep or whatever.

  • JJ Johnson

    A lot of these gestures are just the difference between class and lack of class. Julia Austin appears to just want to bash men because she does not understand the concept of class.

  • Zone11

    OK, I guess half of my observation on the locking of car doors was deleted. However, I’ll repeat the non-controversial part for the benefit of all. Modern cars have a computer that locks all of the doors when the car achieves about 13 MPH.

  • Zone11

    About those locking car doors; are you judging me a predator because my car’s computer locks ALL the doors at 13 MPH? Are there many clueless, 2nd dateless idiots like you out there?

  • Jonny

    I think this piece was written by a paranoid cat-lady.

  • VelcroYuppie

    As far as Locking The Passenger Side Door goes, every car I’ve had for the last decade has automatically locked all the doors once the car reaches 15 mph.

  • msadr

    OK, I absolutely do not agree with the part about the cell phone or the flowers. Turn off your phone when you’re supposed to be talking to me. That’s not creepy. Flowers on the first date just means you like me and it’s not creepy at all. Love it. The rest is spot on though.

  • jkarov

    Many modern cars and trucks automatically lock the doors once you reach 5 mph, so this isn’t really relevant any more

  • vampiredog

    Thankful for two things: I grew up in another era and that I’ll never know this woman. Just to pick out one (of many) that are quite normal, locking the passenger side door. This is most of all a safety precaution as all experts recommend that you drive with all doors locked.

  • vampiredog

    Thankful for two things: I grew up in another era and that I’ll never know this woman. Just to pick out one (of many) that are quite normal, locking the passenger side door. This is most of all a safety precaution as all experts recommend that you drive with all doors locked.

  • FooMaster

    I hereby refuse to open any more doors for women, get up out of my seat . . . for a woman, buy flowers for a woman, say excuse me to a woman, or any other act of graciousness that could possibly be considered polite simply to avoid any indication that there is any gender inequality or potential “creepy” intonations. B1ch3s.

  • skeeteril

    Is this an equal opportunity creepy kinda thing (black,white chinese,indian,spanish), or just plain bullshit?

  • DocRambo

    Judging from what you consider creepy gestures, I would have to agree, and if you have really experienced them, I think you should be a better judge of men and not go out with the inadequate personalities that you must be drawn to.

  • Roadchaser

    These are not women you are talking about. Just neurotic females that wouldn’t know a good man if they stepped on him.

  • Roadchaser

    These are not women you are talking about. Just neurotic females that wouldn’t know a good man if they stepped on him.

  • hdavis

    Weird how they don’t have any white women in the pictures.

    • Roadchaser

      Well it is Madam Noire. Not Madam Blanc.

    • WesternMDFan


  • neutrino

    You forgot: talking to you, looking at you, smiling. How creepy can you get?

  • Greg

    Hmmm, it seems that the author made up some creepy sounding stuff (leaving notes on doorsteps, does anyone really do this?) and then proceeded to lend extremely paranoid views to the remaining normal dating behaviors…I see the author sitting alone on Friday and Saturday nights reading detective novels with the drapes drawn tight…lol

  • Greg

    Hmmm, it seems that the author made up some creepy sounding stuff (leaving notes on doorsteps, does anyone really do this?) and then proceeded to lend extremely paranoid views to the remaining normal dating behaviors…I see the author sitting alone on Friday and Saturday nights reading detective novels with the drapes drawn tight…lol

  • Jaymus

    Dating that woman must be a f!cking NIGHTMARE.

  • JMT

    This is mostly a bunch of CRAP. I guess most interaction initiated by a male that shows either affection or interest means that hes’ a creep?

    Get a life. it’s 2013 already. If that type of interaction creeps a woman out maybe she should stay home and just watch reruns of the Bachelorette!

  • Adam

    holy crap….hooooooly craaaap. Guys cannot win with this girl, literally; I have had dates complain that many of these things were NOT done (and I believe they should be)! Try to bring flowers, open the car door, open the restaurant door, pull out her seat, order for her…at some point, you will do something that the author ( and those like her ) considers presumptuous or she will assume you are a “control freak”. She really seems at the bitter and paranoid end of the spectrum for someone who actually dates.

  • LotusMonkey

    So..Treating her like crap and ignoring her will win her over. A guy just can’t win. Very sad article.

    • Da Surpent

      NO ….its true! Treating her like crap(lightly) and ignoring her WILL win her over.

      The better you treat ’em, the less they’ll like ya.
      The worse you treat ’em, the more they’ll like ya.

      Save the nice guy stuff for after the marriage. Its your only hope lol!!
      (and even after the marriage, ration your niceness wisely)

  • BirdsHit

    A “cab driver” is eliminated as being a threat because….?
    This entire article is 100% sexist BS and gets a top level score in Dumbass 101.

  • GreyWolf62

    I stopped on #5. I have enough garbage in my life. I hope my son meets a woman 180-degrees opposite from the author.

  • Lala

    This is the numbest list I have ever read. Really…what kind of message are you sending to women. This is really ignorant, lame and clearly must a joke. You clearly did not have a father or a male figure in your life to think of all these elements to be creepy….smh.

  • Corndog11

    Some of these I understand. I wouldn’t want a perfect stranger to come up and try to carry my bags, but it’s thoughtful when you know the person. Offering help when stranded is basic kindness unless a lot of leering in involved. If a gesture is meant to be polite, or I’m not sure, I try to take it that way, and if I refuse, I try to refuse politely. After that, it’ll be obvious what the intent was.

  • Dee

    Someone has Daddy Issues…

  • Guest

    The author, Julia Austin, is exactly what is wrong with women today. They label a guy who shows interests and class as “creepy”, and instead go sleep with some random douche who they just met 10 minutes ago. Modern women are pathetic, and deserve to be treated as such.

    • Jessica2248

      Wow! Sounds like you and her are cut from the same cloth.

    • garble

      ” Modern women are pathetic, and deserve to be treated as such.”
      Agreed. Females are to be treated with disdain, disregard and disinterest. They have their womyns studies, coven meetings and gov’t to kneel before.

      • KayCee

        Sounds like you’ve been dating some real witches…

  • Doc

    This article says more about the author than men…..creepy woman.

  • Fraga123

    We surrender. Be a baller – women love the thug.

  • Jeff Christianson

    I hate websites that have ads on every time.

  • RBUCk

    Wow. Guess I am raising my two boys wrong. Here I am trying to raise them as gentleman and I’m raising them to be creepy guys. Good to know.

    • garble

      If you love them, teach them what females really are. Useless gov’t entitlement leeches who are owed no respect, as respect must be earned.

  • WaitYourTurn

    Turn off your phone at dinner, you’re a creeper. Leave it on, you’re rude. Which is it, ladies? Are men supposed to be mind-readers, or just accept the fact that men are wrong no matter what they do?

  • WaitYourTurn

    Turn off your phone at dinner, you’re a creeper. Leave it on, you’re rude. Which is it, ladies? Are men supposed to be mind-readers, or just accept the fact that men are wrong no matter what they do?

    • Joseph Harris

      men are wrong no matter what, that is the very point of this article.

      being a gentleman is creepy, but not being a gentleman makes you a scumbag.

    • John Davis

      You basically hit the nail on the head. The way I see it is 30% are happy in a committed relationship. 40% are unhappy in a committed relationship ( rather stick with the devil they know), and the other 30% are just nuts. The thing is in my experience if a woman really wants something she goes for it. Usually not in the over the top way guys do but she does. So for every woman out there complaining about the situation your in think of it this way…. when you were or are given a chance to change it why didn’t you? More than likely it’s because you wanted to stay right were you are.

      • John Davis

        I will say this there are women out there who are single and perfectly sane but that seems to be a rare thing these days….

  • Kevin Smith

    What kinda guys do you ladies have to put up with?? Lol i’ll admit some of these are a bit creepy like leaving a note saying they’ve been “noticing you” that’s creepy as hell, and some of the things on the list aren’t OK if they’re taken too far like having transactions cancelled so you can pay instead or the whole trying to drive someone else’s car thing, but some of the things on the list are either just common courtesy or things we’ve been conditioned to do by the women in our life like opening doors, helping carry stuff, or walking someone to their car/home. Again, if we offer and you say no, then it’s time to drop it, but I feel really bad for anyone who automatically assumes someone offering to help carry a bag is really trying to steal it.

  • Next article should be called: Paranoid Thoughts Women Have About Men They Are Dating. I get some of these, but others seem a little too much. I mean, if the guy is a total stranger, then it makes sense. If you guys are on a date, and he offers to hold your bags, why would you think he would run off with them? Most guys aren’t going to run off with women’s clothing. Also, about the car door thing. Most modern cars automatically lock the doors anyway. It’s a safety feature.

  • dave

    You want to call well meaning acts creepy then in the same breath claim the chivalry is dead. you obviously are not worth the effort.

  • AlphaFactor

    Articles like this are one of the reasons why I ended up getting divorced almost 25 years ago and refuse to have anything to do with women any more.

    The sheer scale of the modern era of misandry is unreal. As Dave Chappelle so succinctly put it, “Chivalry is dead, and women killed it”.

    • Jaymus


  • Jessica2248

    Someone has been watching too much tv, lol! Caution should always be taken when meeting someone for the first time, but you don’t want to send them running away from you like you are a paranoid personality. If that’s the case, stay at home, and never leave it.

    • Vandellish

      Thanks for this. I think people that believe every other thing is creepy are creepy.

      • Jessica2248

        Yes! This says more about the author than it does men.

  • siarasheree

    THE DUMBEST ARTICLE EVER….. I want a guy to open the door, I want a guy to walk me to my car or house door, I want a guy to bring me flowers— Basically I like guys to show me attention and they are interested….
    But as someone said mentioned earlier , this article is a joke .. and hopefully the author was truly joking..

    • garble

      Here you have it “I WANT, I WANT, gimme gimme gimme, I’m entitled, I’m special”.
      You wouldn’t like what I have to offer.

  • QleanQlassy Atlanta

    see fellas stop being a gentleman……julia a female is teaching females that a caring gentleman is creepy….fellas pay close attention to what they think about you

    • Aukai Akiliano

      Why do you refer to men as ‘fellas’ and ‘gentlemen’, but women as ‘females’?

      • meeeeeee

        So calling a female a female is derogatory or prejudice? Maybe if the writer had any moral fibers and not some sexist view of men she could be referred to as a lady but I think 99% of all commentators on this article will agree that she is only a woman and not very ladylike. Hence the saying treat a lady like a lady as that is what gentlemen do. Heck gentlemen even treat the non-ladylike women like lady’s so loosen that feminist grip. How would you like women to be referred to so we know what the next derogatory word for women will be in the next 5 years.

      • garble

        Because females are things to be used and discarded. They are not treasures to be protected, or cherished. This you’ve done to yourselves. Personally, I have more regard for what I flush than western females.

      • QleanQlassy Atlanta

        because BM are rarely referred to in a noble way by BW

  • hollyw

    Lol smh ok some of this stuff was funny, like the walking you home…when I did online dating, it was just a rule of thumb that we met at a public place, left at a public place…walks home was for dates 2 and 3 lol… Also, flowers on the first date ain’t creepy, just corny.

    …but no carrying the bags or bringing me lunch, WHAT?? I can eat!!

    • Chris Wallace

      You did online dating? There’s your problem.
      You are toooooo wound up.
      Who hurt you?

      • hollyw

        How pathetic lol. To comment on not one, but all my posts on here, that were up almost a month ago, in addition to not being able to present a stance on your own. Good luck in life.

        • garble

          Good luck with your forever single, but not by choice. No man would want you or your entitlement mentality. Maybe one of the many men that use you will accidentally impregnate you. Then you can be a single harpie raising more b@st@rds to feed the collective.

        • Chris Wallace

          So if it’s no one should read your posts that are over a few weeks old? K, then. Thanks for the great wishes in life. My stance is you are an idiot.

        • Chris Wallace

          Thank you. I’m glad we agree. 8 months this time. Life keeps me busy!

      • sayitaintsobo

        On line daters are desperate and psychologically misaligned, often misanthropic.

    • sayitaintsobo


      The message you are sending is to ” bring on the PIG and leave the GENTLEMAN at home ” .

      Be careful what you ask for deary, you just might GET your wish . . .

  • simon77047

    My car automatically locks the doors (all four of them) as soon as I pass 5 mph.

    • Jaymus

      Mine too, does that make us super creepy? Wonder if the author would refer to that as creeper feature… or refer to the car as “The Creeper Mobile”.

  • Candacey Doris

    I don’t think bringing flowers on a first date is creepy. A little cheesy but sort of cute if he doesn’t act like i owe him for it. Turning your phone over seems a little annoying in the “look at me, congratulate me for acting the way i should on a date” way because he could have just turned it off and put it in his pocket, not shown me how “good” he’s being. And car doors are automatic for a lot of cars now! Only a couple of these things, like leaving a note on the car or front door or running up and grabbing your bags (especially if you don’t know him) are actually creepy.

    • Jaymus

      Yeah, those things are definitely creepy with merit. Who leaves a note on someone’s doorstep??

    • sayitaintsobo

      My rule: First date, ONE flower, ( NEVER a Rose ). Its SWEET, inexpensive, shows respect, excellent taste both in women and decor and is an easily remembered OR forgotten BRIEF introductory gesture. FIRST CLASS all the way !

  • Agreed… somewhat

    all of these things make sense, but really, if you’re intuitive enough, you can tell whether he’s really being creepy or just being nice.

    • hollyw


      • Chris Wallace

        If you agree to that then why attack sageman? Did you guys date?

  • sageman

    Great, another article that tell’s just how women view men. This “rape culture” mentality needs to stop. The fact that women fear every man they meet means something went woefully wrong in school and at home that we can look at this article and rather than be disgusted laugh. That men being nice or chivalrous would be seen in any other light is something we should be addressing rather than mocking men for doing what we are taught is right. I got here on accident and I wont be back to this site. There are too many sites out there that make their money at the expense of men’s dignity.

    • hollyw

      …this ‘rape culture’ mentality needs to stop..? Rather than stopping rape?? Very poorly worded, sir, smh.

      • sageman

        I never said that rape doesn’t need to stop. I’m just saying that women have accepted labeling every man they don’t know as a potential rapist. That is what I’m saying needs to be addressed. Rape is a horrific crime and I’m not trying to trivialize it but the fact is having women live in fear of men in general doesn’t serve society in any way shape or form.

        • hollyw

          Everything you said is correct. None of it, however, is indicative of the accurate labelings of rape culture. This article didn’t even mention it once. What it did highlight, however, is how women have been socialized to be cautious of me, which is an effect of the culture, not a cause of. I felt you confused the two and used this article, which was partly written in jest, as a platform to rave about the ‘injustices on men’ brought about by the very culture that victimize women. Quite ironic.

          • sageman

            There was nothing funny about this article, that you found demonizing behavior that is chivalrous or done with good intention proves a point, that some women have been taught that all men are evil till proven otherwise. That you would take the stance that because women are victimized it is alright to slander men, is part of the problem. The fact of the matter is that there are many problems that need to be addressed but the one I am addressing is that women and men both need to build a culture of mutual respect rather than what we have now, one where men are demonized and women are painted as the victim. Teaching women that they are victims does nothing for them. By teaching women that being victimized does not pigeon hole them as victims we can empower women. Again the heart of the matter comes down to mutual respect and fostering that rather than pairing the sexes off as the aggressor and the victim. I’m a firm believer in equal rights and in teaching children to respect one another but articles like this do little to foster that kind of respect. This is demeaning to both men in women in my opinion.

            • hollyw

              You think the fact that I saw the author’s obvious, if not ill-mannered, attempts at humor proves YOUR point, as opposed to mine about how you’re using this as a platform lol?? It is a fact, not a perspective, that the article had jokes in it; whether or not you find it funny or inappropriate is another matter. However, the fact that you are being so dramatic in your descriptors, i.e. demonizing, slander, to THIS article shows very strongly that you either don’t get certain types of humor (i.e. Black??) or are just on a bitter rant that you can’t see out of. Point out one sentence of slander. I’ll wait.

              What is telling is how you mention rape culture as practically a myth (“this ‘rape culture’ mentality”), think the responsiblity of fixing this culture should be equally attributed to both sexes, implying that both are equally to blame (for rape??), then follow immediately w/ a sentence that is completely not in reality (men demonized and women feigning victimhood). You have an obvious bias and YOU are demeaning to women! Not once, in any of your posts, could you even fully acknowledge men’s role in victimizing women without AGAIN blaming women somewhat, when it is statistical fact that they are the number 1 killer of women (partner violence)! I don’t need you to be a “firm believer in equal rights”; you need to obviously educate yourself in cultural competence, society and gender, and stay off women’s blogs until your mind is right. Good luck

              • Chris Wallace

                You are obviously deranged. This was a poorly-executed article meant to draw ire.
                And lady, your ire is showing
                Grow up and stop blaming men for your own problems.
                Not every man is bad and sageman sounds like an insightful person.
                Perhaps a date.
                No flowers, though.

              • Whatever

                Maybe he put rape culture in quotes because that’s what all us law abiding, pro-equality men hear when we’re accused of being rapists all the time. We hear the term pointed at people who are entirely against rape and we hear it so often that it has lost anything resembling meaning.

                • Kristian Colasacco

                  I’ve never once been accused of being a rapist. If it’s happening to you “all the time” then perhaps you have an issue.

              • Tired of it

                In many ways I find myself agreeing in part with those who find this kind of paranoia disgusting. I’ve been cussed out & vilified for holding a door open for a woman in broad daylight in a busy part of town.

              • garble

                Look princess feminazi, your kind deserve to be trodden under foot. Your faces smashed into walls, just for amusement. Nobody would ever rape you vile things. Quit with the lies and propaganda.

          • garble

            Victimizes wimmins, oh boo hoos. Quit it entitlement princess. Go back to the coven and spew your hate filled lies.

          • sayitaintsobo



            Just WHICH part(s) of this so – called article were written in JEST ?

            Please point them out because MY funny bone went on vacation almost immediately when I started reading this GARBAGE.


      • garble

        Oh noes, not the beastly rapey menz again !!!! The coven needs your worship princess, go tell them about your propaganda.
        Hags like you are why I treat females like toilet paper. You deserve nothing more

      • Kenyon Vincent

        He’s right. Why do people enjoy purposely twisting someone’s words?

    • Kristian Colasacco

      But the other side of the coin is that when a woman does let her guard down and something happens to her because a man was pretending to be nice or something then what? “She should have been protecting herself!”

    • sayitaintsobo

      This attitude is a direct result of progressive thinking, dissolution of the nuclear family, loss of morals, manners and positive objectives in America.

  • privatedick

    my car doors lock automatically when in motion.

  • Oompa

    This is the most stupid article ever written. Fine, when I see a female in distress or in need of assistance, i will say “sorry…..don’t want to creep you out”. Nice job author.

    • garble

      Don’t say anything, just don’t do anything.Walk on by and leave it to it’s self created misery. If it asks for assistance, ignore it, tell it to go away, leave you alone. Nothing good ever comes from helping a female leech.

      • sayitaintsobo

        I wouldn’t let YOU near puppies or kittens, much less vulnerable women.

        YOU are the CREEPY NUT CASE they fear !

    • Jamal

      F’real though

  • Lumpy Rutherford

    What’s the moral of this story? Treat women like crap or else you will appear to be “creepy”.

    • garble

      If you’re smart you show women no regard. They are not worth a second glance. Human waste the most of them.

    • sayitaintsobo

      This article is DRAPED in RAINBOW FLAGS.

      The point of view is indisputable.

    • Laura Gammons

      Yes…and it is women like her who ruin it for the rest of us. Golden rule.

  • LSBF

    very strange article, any woman following all this advice would come off as VERY paranoid – and any sane man would simply back off – fast! You should keep yourself safe and listen to your gut, not nonsense like this that just puts people off. Weird.

    • Jaymus

      You have no idea how fast lol

    • Diagoras

      Most of the time she wants him to back off. These kinds of behaviors are only appropriate once a man already knows the woman pretty well and knows she’s into him. I think we need to make a distinction between appropriate dating behaviors from boyfriends and appropriate dating behaviors from blind dates or first dates. They aren’t the same!

    • al

      def. i’d think she has long term intimacy issues that would frustrate the heck out of a relationship.

  • Rob Harris

    Well I guess I’ve been doing all the right things. I let women walk themselves to their car or door. If I give them my seat it’s because I’m leaving. If I don’t have a car of my own I don’t ask her out for a date. I’ve never brought a woman lunch to work, even my girlfriend. If I see a woman broke down on the road I will stop and offer help, but if refused I will drive on. If a woman gives me her phone number just because I asked for it in a grocery store I wonder about the woman and her standards as obviously she has done it before and will do it again. As for cancelling her credit card payment in a restaurant or rushing up to the counter to pay for gum, I figure women have their own money and can pay their own way.

    • hollyw

      Lmbooooo! I just died! Idk if you joking or forreal, but you’re either sarcastically funny or sadly funny

    • al

      and yet, your still single.

      • garble

        By choice. Why would any man saddle himself with the one sided contract called marriage ? When the lesser man gets bored, it has the gov’t steal everything that you’ve earned. As a man, you actually have to earn things, they are not given to you like females (tokens) get. The kids, the ones it didn’t kill, it will be taking those to extract payments from you.

        • sayitaintsobo

          Sounds like YOU need to opt into some ” life changing ” surgery bub.

          And do it soon or one of your ” lesser men ” just might take care of it FOR you.

          • URButtplug

            You’re a real dickhead.

        • al

          it is one sided if you want it to be. relationships are what you make them to be. I hope your pain passes quickly, you sound very unhappy.

        • Historybuff

          You are not a real man. You are just some testosterone-filled bag full of narcissism. You should stay away from real women.

      • Kenyon Vincent

        And you’re a bad speller. And yes, I am what you are going to say I am.

    • garble

      Good advice. With the exception of stopping to help a stranded woman. I do not do that. I do not hold the door, I do not do anything for men wanna bees.

    • Kenyon Vincent

      I agree somewhat, though I wouldn’t have put it so blatently.

  • Cat88L3

    Usually, I don’t mind reading the MN lists as I find them entertaining, but I feel it is my duty as a woman to make a public service announcement to men: Please don’t pay attention to this list!! Women appreciate good men and certainly appreciate chivalry.

    I’m dating a guy now who is such a gentleman. Can I say that I haven’t experienced that in awhile? It’s refreshing and it feels great. Chivalry is a dying act. I’m so used to being independent that I had to realize to let this man be a man and to let him treat me as a lady who is deserving of kind/chivalrous acts.

    Sometimes as women, we sabotage ourselves. I do agree with one of the posters that we can’t have it both ways. You can’t say men don’t know how to treat a woman, but then when kind acts come our way, we write it off as clingy/needy/creepy.

    • meeeeeeeee

      Thank you. I hate seeing the double standard where men feel they have to be mean to get the girl. I like treating women nicely even if I am not perusing/courting them. I think there is a real double-standard and some prejudice against men as some women like this author feels we are naturally sexist pigs who only want one thing. I mean don’t get me wrong, that one thing is good but I have never stayed in a relationship based on that except once when I was a teenager, I would rather have a girl that is not a model and a sweetheart over a visually beautiful woman with a bitter heart. Guess this woman is choosing to be “forever alone”

    • garble

      Chivalry is dead because….. men do not demonstrate chivalry to other men. Western women long ago abandoned womanhood to become weak men. ‘Independent’, yeah that always makes me laugh. Affirmative action ensures that you get a guaranteed education, job, funding, etc. (Token). Basically women are the new n1qq3rs, totally dependent upon the gov’t stealing money from men to support them, so that they can pretend that they are independent and actually earned anything.

    • Kenyon Vincent

      Chivalry isn’t dying. It’s just been knocked out by post-60’s feminism. It’s practically illegal to be male. Watch any sitcom or action movie or TV drama show.

  • Ryan

    Turning your phone over automatically means you must be receiving texts from other women?? First date and you’re already supposed to just stop dating anyone else? Yeah, that doesn’t sound uber jealous and controlling at all. I can’t imagine any woman in the World not accusing a man of being psycho and controlling if this shoe was on the other foot.

  • rantnraven

    I’m a single guy, and read your suggestions. Maybe growing up in Not In a Big City, makes it difficult for me to understand your reservations. But thanks for the insights. Now how do I determine what suggestions are yours alone, and which are supported by the majority of women?

    • am

      Don’t pay attention to this list. Read Cat88L3 message below.

    • hollyw

      Most of this list was meant to be funny, I think. They just highlight the tight rope women walk in allowing men to be men, vs. not being easy prey…but mostly funny.

    • FooMaster

      You almost can’t avoid the self centered egotism that pervades the females in our society. American women are a bunch of shallow brats.

      • Laura Gammons

        SOME American women…SOME…

    • sayitaintsobo

      The kind of women who agree with this sewage are NOT what a well mannered gentleman from a small town might be interested in.

      Those who think like the writer of this article are a psychological MESS and should be avoided like POISON.

    • Laura Gammons

      Ignore this stupid article…just be respectful & not creepy. 🙂 Ask if it is OK to escort her to her car or walk her home. Call & see if she would like you to bring her lunch instead of just showing up. She will let you know where her boundaries are…just ask and listen.

  • Ladybug94

    Most women are so used to being mistreated that when they are treated nicely they think it’s creepy. smh.

    • Kenyon Vincent

      Most women are used to being mistreated? You must be related to the author of this article.

  • Tatti-Mama

    OMG… whoever wrote this is just a bitter bit$h… some are sweet gestures, she is just uber paranoid. Dont punish someone for being nice. My bf has always been a gentlemen even when we first met. sometimes you just have to take a chance.

    • honey

      I totally agree. I like when a man does all of the above. Geez !

      • Diagoras

        Depends on how well you know him. Personally, I have never dated someone I didn’t already know pretty well. These rules are more for men who are on blind dates or haven’t even gotten that far.

        • Kenyon Vincent

          Rules. That’s the key word (and problem) here. It’s proof that rules can be for fools.

    • sabrina

      Totally agree. I won’t complain/nor have I ever complained if any guy did any of these things to me. I personally like letting a man be a man so that means accepting all forms of chivalry.

      • Chuck Bacon

        Thank you Sabrina!

      • garble


    • JDM

      I agree…. the writer Julia Austin lives in the Santa Monica, CA area… so if she is not bitter or anti-male (which I am going to guess she is) then maybe these are not normal behaviors of men in L.A.? Being from Louisville, Kentucky, and now engaged to a girl I met in Michigan 3 years ago… over half of these were the manners my parents taught me. My fiance was flattered by them and although she said this was not the norm for guys from Michigan she dated, she was not creeped out by them. And many of these would depend on whether you literally JUST met someone or had at least talked to/been out with a couple of times.. didn’t really catch that in the article.

      • Kenyon Vincent

        “Men” and “LA” don’t really go together, though.

    • Vandellish

      Yeah from what I gathered here is the less we do to try to win female affection then the better off we are. This approach may work if you’re a star entertainer, athlete or big-shot whatever. In the case of most of us guys we’d just be brushed aside or forgotten.
      There’s a thin line between being creepy and catching a young lady’s eye it seems.

    • Vandellish

      Yeah from what I gathered here is the less we do to try to win female affection then the better off we are. This approach may work if you’re a star entertainer, athlete or big-shot whatever. In the case of most of us guys we’d just be brushed aside or forgotten.
      There’s a thin line between being creepy and catching a young lady’s eye it seems.

    • Wallace Ordoyne

      I’m with you Tatti-Mama, if she wants to see what low-key creepy is, she needs to look in the mirror.

    • Kenyon Vincent

      I don’t think paranoid is the word here. Just a hateful, feminist man-hater.

    • Laura Gammons

      obviously damaged goods…of lives in stalker-town

    • Bernerup

      I was thinking the same. Seriously? I think some of these are quite lively gestures.

  • jade laby

    what Diana said I didn’t even know that a person able to make $7841 in a few weeks on the computer. did you see this page w­w­w.K­E­P­2.c­o­m

  • Clara

    Flowers on a first date?? How is that creepy and 1980s? I think it shows interest and its sweet. I wish we could still do some of the stuff that we did 10+ years ago. Dating seemed easier back then. I don’t even think ppl date anymore.

    • garble

      No, men no longer date females. They f*ck and chuck them. That is the total value of females today. A warm pocket to make a deposit. It could be one of three orifices, doesn’t matter which. Marriage is not something any sane man does either. It is a one sided loser for men. Use and discard females.

      • sayitaintsobo

        This is true, but only because those women’s attitudes are similar to those of the rainbow flagged DEVIANT ( and I mean that in the rudest, crudest terms ) that wrote THIS article.

      • David Manhart

        Well. If they are like the author of this article, that is all they are worth. If they are REAL women, not pretend dainties, they won’t expect men to treat them as if they were royalty. They are the ones who end up being treated like royalty because they are worth it.

    • Kenyon Vincent

      I give a single flower on a date. Not too much, but still some effort.

    • orionsune

      It’s because society has been fear mongered into immediately assuming the worse about anyone and anything that comes across one’s path, even though violent crime in the US is at an all time low. As indicated in this article, people are assuming the absolute worst case scenario right away. Ridiculous. Humanity has/is de-evolving.

  • Nope

    “Now he knows where I live” or “Maybe he just wrote down my license plate number.”

    As is she doesn’t already have this information about him….

    Some of these are kind of funny, but I’m convinced that a lot of women will argue on both sides of a fence. But you can’t have it both ways.

    • Nya

      What woman hurt you? I always see comment from you on this site and always downing women…

      • Nope

        I comment on a lot lot of articles on here (entertainment, political, business, etc.). And I love women.

        I think a lot of people on here probably wish they could just dismiss me as a troll. The problem with that is that whether or not someone agrees with my comments on here I am able to articulate them very well and can speak on various topics.

      • LoveSharkBaby

        The suggestion that a man was “hurt” by a woman is typical female shaming
        language, employed whenever a man speaks truth to women’s
        self-centeredness when it comes to interactions between the sexes.

        Not that Nope needs me to speak for him, but I feel compelled to chime in
        regarding the double-bind most men find themselves in whenever they try
        to “please” a woman. There is no “pleasing” women. Women generally are
        so internally conflicted that whichever option a man chooses, the other
        option will fall under the “greener grass” category and the man will
        come off as weak.

        Men – a much better strategy is to do what YOU think is right and let the women cope however they see fit. Their internal conflicts are really not your problem.

      • Chris Wallace

        Lying is a nice trait. Show an instance. Ain’t there.
        Never been hurt. Married to a wonderful, supportive, strong woman.
        You assume too much, as do your up-supporters.