True Life: I Had An Emotional Affair

August 2, 2013  |  
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This was a tough one. Typically, our True Life questions get tons of responses; but today, crickets. Apparently didn’t want to incriminate themselves on Facebook, so the answers were a bit sparse. But sparse doesn’t mean wack. Check out some of the stories below.

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Jasmine: I did in a previous relationship. I confessed to my Ex and we agreed to work on the relationship, and that I’d stop socializing with the other man, needless to say it wasn’t successful. But I ended up with my husband now so all’s well that ends well lol!


Brooklyn: YES I had an emotional affair. YEARS ago at work an instant message program was installed. I started getting IM messages from a co-worker that weren’t about business. He complimented me about how nice I looked, he noticed I lost weight, and noticed I changed my hair….things my significant other had not noticed.

My significant other and I were having problems already because I caught him exchanging flirtatious texts with his ex and other women. I lost trust in him, and had built up resentment, but was not ready to leave the relationship….we have children together.

As time passed on, my co-worker and I spent most of our days chatting on IM and via email. I began to withdraw from my significant other and fantasize about being with my co-worker. Long story short…he got into my head. I began getting short tempered with my significant other and resenting him for not being as attentive as my co-worker. He noticed my change and confronted me.

I denied anything was wrong, but I guess he didn’t believe me. Before I knew it he hacked into my email and found all the messages that were exchanged between my co-worker and me. The hurt in his eyes was devastating. He was completely crushed. I felt like the worst person in the world, but then I got happy because I wanted him to feel the pain and betrayal I felt when I caught him doing the same thing with his ex and other women.

I told my co-worker what happened and explained to him I no longer wanted to continue chatting with him, but just like a man, my significant other couldn’t forgive me. He could dish it, but couldn’t take it. He acted as if I had slept with my co-worker! I got tired of him throwing it in my face every time we had an argument and a year later my significant other and I broke up.


Nita: Yes, women do it all the time. They have emotional affairs with their female friends. They tell them everything that they should be telling their man thinking because its another woman she feels your pain -__-

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Kewata: When it comes to women, every affair or intimate relationship at some point involves emotion….simply because we are such emotional creatures.
Now to answer the ?… I certainly have. However I work hard to keep some level of control over my emotions….cause I NEVER want to become the typical emotionally out of control @$$ female. Once I got those in check, the affair ended.

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AMarie: Yes all the time….and always end up lookin like a damn fool…


Tiffany: Yes. I knew the line was crossed when he was asking me if coming to his place to talk about it would make me feel better and I looked at the time and realized it was 2 in the a.m. I ended it by expressing my feelings to my guy. I knew I liked having my male friend’s attention, but admitted to myself and my guy…that it was seriously lacking. My honesty to myself and my guy made it very easy for me to end things with my friend. What I wanted & needed wasn’t coming from who I wanted it from.


Monique: YES! When he cut off communication. I bawled and we weren’t even physical. I knew I was too invested then.


Tezra: When the emotions come into actions and you work on meeting in secret places etc… that’s when you know it is wrong.

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Yolanda: Yeah, I cut off any type of communication cuz we were in different places in our life! No need to set myself up for failure! Keeping it moving!

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  • Tony Williams

    Men dont have have “Emotional Affairs” you just have sex with the person. then go back home and kiss our wives with the same lips we just ” yeah yep yep” with. checkmate.

  • Nita

    Y’all always post my fb comments. Love y’all

  • Nope

    Men usually and rightfully get criticized for sexual infidelity, but IMO women are more prone to emotional infidelity, which usually takes place first. But of course most of them don’t count that…..

  • Anesha Johnson

    Yep thats me, my words, I’m the damn fool…