LisaRaye McCoy Turns To Celibacy, Hopes To Avoid Shallow Men

July 31, 2013  |  

Source: WENN

LisaRaye McCoy is almost synonymous with sensuality and sex appeal, but for the first time in a long time, the former First Lady of Turks and Caicos says she’s refraining from engaging in sexual activity.

“I’m in a new place. I’ve tried everything but celibacy, and I really want to know what it feels like to be touched by someone with a mental touch and not a physical touch,” the 45-year-old knockout told CocoaFab while on the set of Single Ladies.

She went on to say that she ‘s waiting for God to bring a man in her life who she can be “mentally intimate” with.

“I want to know what it is to build the foundation of the friendship for real, to have my best friend and not because we’re just intimate, but because we’re mentally intimate. So I’m waiting for that person to come into my life. And when I get myself together, I know God is gonna bless me with that, because I don’t want to come with extra baggage. I’ll come with some, but it’s not fair to him to come with a whole bunch.”

If you’re wondering why the sudden enlightenment, the Chicago native says she sick of running into men who are caught up on her physical appearance.

“When men meet me, they’re in awe of the image. I’m so turned off by that. Automatically I’m like, ‘Boy move.’ You know what I mean? Baby, bye. Because now you’re not gonna give me a real chance because you’re like, ‘You do look good in person.’ It’s like, ‘OK. How many times can I say thank you? But you don’t know I can be a great friend? You don’t know I can cook. You don’t know that I’m a nurturer. You don’t know that I prefer to stay at home and watch a movie and pop my own popcorn. But because the image is the strong, confident woman that’s like, Bam! In your face. Ay, you ain’t giving me a chance automatically.’ So a lot of my guy friends I have to go: ‘A ha ha ha ha!’ the whole time. I can be a good friend. Hello!”

“So I want someone to know me, to learn me. I want to start dating the man that I’m gonna marry. I want to start having some fun with someone that I know I’m gonna be with. I don’t play any games. I’m too old for that. I’ve been there, I’ve been around the block. I’m cultured, I’ve done a lot of things. I’m famous. I have money. I am polished, you know what I mean? I am a woman and I need a man, not a boy. I don’t want to be a teacher. I’m not trying to be your mother, I want to be your significant other.”

We can’t say for sure if any of this was triggered by her rumored relationship with Bishop Noel Jones, who is preparing to star in Oxygen’s new reality show, Preachers of LA, but it wouldn’t be surprising. Either way, good for her!

Follow Jazmine on Twitter @jazminedenise.

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  • Tony Williams

    The irony is strong with this one. So from the 70s ,8-0s 90s 2000s women have being on this feminist movement of “I OWN MY VAGINA ” AND FREE LOVE. and after 30 years of failure now they wana be like church ladys and save the box for good men hahahaha hahahahaha hahaha sorry i cant stop laughing.

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  • Darlene Lyons

    I heard she was dealing with Bishop Noel Jones. That is TD Jakes best friend and he was counseling her. They make a nice couple. He looks like he can handle her spiritually academically and with her sassy attitude. She has been through a lot. I hope she finds someone to love her for who she is and all my sisters of all races too. There are a lot of good women out here that deserve a good man!

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  • First clue you are not mentally in a place to accept a “man” into your life, you start listing what you got, what you look like, and what you aren’t going to accept. No one needs a running resume of what you bring to the table. If she really wants a best friend and husband she needs to relax on all of that. She isn’t constantly bashing her best girlfriend over the head with her accomplishments. She isn’t telling her how lucky she is to be her friend because of who she is and what she’s got. No sister girl, to attract a man of the quality you want you need to be humble. You are more than your physicality and your career. To attract a man who sees past that you have to stop making it a constant running dialogue in your head and out your mouth.

  • YES!!!!! Women are finally waking up to what is most important. Be in love with one another’s minds and spirits first. Too many are in “lust” and not ever making it to “love” because they have been conquered by the sin of the flesh. Kudos to you LisaRaye. You are really going to have to do a lot of praying, because Satan is going to be on your heels like white on rice. He don’t like to be defeated, especially in public view. God bless you sister!

  • LadeeTea

    I am happy she came to this conclusion.. only god knows what she needs for her life.. not man or men…I would say Amen! love yourself first and others will know how to love you also.

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  • Fair and Balanced

    Good for her but let’s be honest here she has played herself out, once you have been the cheese tray and have been passed around enough you learn you need to step back and it looks like she finally is stepping back but we will see. I agree with her.


    psycho bi***

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  • Says the self-proclaimed “Platinum Digger”. Okay Lisa… I’m sure the caliber of men you like are cool with celibacy.

  • Guest

    “I’m starting with the man in the mirror” just saying…STANK ATTITUDE

  • Dragon Senait

    Well I’ve been celibate for years. Don’t plan on changing it anytime soon. I”m more than just a piece of meat. I’m a human being.

  • Mia

    Instead of worrying abt men, she needs to adjust that horrible attitude, stop believing this alledged hype abt herself and enroll in some much needed acting courses.

  • UB class of 2013

    A classic case of “Pretty girl problems”

  • Suchalady

    But SHE is shallow, and a gold-digger. Celibacy is great but she has to make a few more good decisions on her part.

    • Vandellish

      Exactly…It’s funny how she hopes to avoid shallow men because I was with a co-worker in Hyde Park (South Side Chicago neighborhood) years ago crossing the street when she pulled up to an intersection and we spotted her. Not only did she not wave or say hello when we said ‘Hey Lisa!’ she also really peeled out in a ‘F y’all’ type of way.
      So I agree she’s shallow herself and pretty uppity as well. Maybe she’s changed. Good luck to her anyway.

      • Live_in_LDN

        To be fair, no one is obligated to respond to every interaction with a stranger. You don’t know what went on in her day. She might have been in a bad mood because something terrible happened. She is human, she doesn’t have to yuck it up for strangers.

        • Vandellish

          ‘she doesn’t have to yuck it up for strangers’
          You right she don’t have to do shyt. Still this kind of behavior flies in the face of her calling other folks shallow.

          Keep in mind we were walking and she was driving. It ain’t hard to
          wave or say hello…in fact it’s easier than making your tires screech
          and acting an a__.
          Still, good luck to her in her search.

        • mlw1924


  • Godzilla

    Look in the mirror…

  • guest

    It tickles me how a large portion of women turn to celibacy after many failed relationships. Usually, we are told from the moment we are old enough to understand to keep our legs closed. Maybe if we listened the first time around, we would have been able to avoid learning those lessons the hard way. Oh well, at least they are learned now.

    • Sasseynsweet

      She has given a lot of young women a great big “heads-up”, by sharing her decision to be abstinent. We all make mistakes; no need for judgement. Kudos to Lisa Raye!

      • guest

        Once again, I wasn’t being judgmental. I actually fall into the category. Every time I hear someone else doing the same thing, I just think of my mom and grandmother because they could have said, “I told you so.”, but instead they just cracked jokes to make me feel better….hence me always getting tickled.

    • Nope


    • Child_Puhleez


    • Live_in_LDN

      Sometimes a person needs to learn a lesson for themselves in order for the lesson to be impactful.

      Both men and women should lead with their hearts and their minds if they want a strong relationship. Nothing wrong with physical intimacy but the flames of relationships built on sex exclusively burnout hard and fast

    • driven

      judgmental and self-righteous much? Ok church lady.

      • guest

        I actually wasn’t being judgmental. Clearly, you all are just in your feelings. I actually fall into the category. Every time I hear someone else doing the same thing, I just think of my mom and grandmother because they could have said, “I told you so.”, but instead they just cracked jokes to make me feel better. Maybe you all shouldn’t be so quick to judge.

  • Live_in_LDN

    LisaRaye seems like she has a healthy outlook and her decision to turn celibate is made for the right reasons.
    It seems that Lisa wants to weed out all the shallow men and form a relationship based on depth, companionship and commitment – nothing wrong with that!

    • Lady31

      yep well put… in my opinion marriage is relative to whoever the people are. Meaning it means many things to different people the commitment is what matters. I have been married and it only depends on the commitment the two have to each other. Having something beyond sex in common is needed games waste time and show insecurities boys have a hard time adapting to a confident woman. Celibacy is a way for a woman to stay in control, she is not leading with her emotional self because most women attach emotions to sex she is leading with her head. I think this is a good thing for her and hopefully she stops being shallow as well.

      • Live_in_LDN

        Agree with this post.

    • She can be celibate but if she hasn’t done the work internally she will just attract men that will play the role until she does give it up.

  • Mrs. A

    Join the club Lisa…this is where most single black women are mentally with the dating scene.Why buy the cow when the milk is free.

    • Live_in_LDN

      Eurgh I really can’t stand that anaology. Women are not animals and marriage is not akin to buying a cow.

      • Mrs. A

        I think you are taking things to literally.. It’s just a old saying thats used to get the point across quickly.We know women are not animals & you don’t buy marriage. No judgments from me.. Folks have to do what’s best for there lives based on their own experiences.

        • driven

          Your right, women aren’t cows, but like Iyanla said in another article that we [our sexualities] are definitely treated like commodities. This is a sexist society were males rank women on how “easy” we are. Forget our thoughts, soul, talents, career….if we give it up in less than 30 days, we were too easy and not worth marrying (according to steve harvey) But men are never held to the same standards. I hate the analogy as well. But i understand it.

          My analogy is: why give the milk to someone with no taste?

          • Live_in_LDN

            Well put!

        • Live_in_LDN

          It’s an old saying that deserves to stay in the past. It has no relevance in today’s society. It made sense back in the day (and in society’s that don’t value women) where woman were sold by her father to her future husband’s family for livestock. Driven who commented below explains it well.

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    • alyssa651

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