So You Think You Can Rap? 15 Of The Worst Rapletes (Athletes Turned Rappers)
When you’re really good at one thing, sometimes it gives you the feeling that you’d be good at anything…unfortunately for these athletes, their lyrical prowess when it came to rapping did not match their skills on the court, in the ring, or on the field.
“On the court I serve ’em up, no subpeona/I cook the track up like a frozen pizza.” Whoever wrote these lyrics should go back to their day job. In Serena’s defense, she didn’t think the song was too great either. She threatened to go ham on the “friends” that leaked the track:
“I was in the studio with friends and I wanted to do something and so they said – do this and it was for me. The next thing I know — that was one or two years ago and then I read online that I was a rapper and so my backstabbing friends did that to me and so if I see them, I will act like a rapper — if you can get my drift.”
Kobe Bryant may be one of the best basketball players of all time, but he’s definitely one of the worst rappers. K.O.B.E. is an early 2000’s synth-heaven snooze fest about Kobe’s struggles to “find a honey who’s legit”. And for some reason it features Tyra Banks butchering the hook. It would be funny if it weren’t quite so bad.
Shaq is so adorable, it’s hard not to love everything he does…even his cheesey rap career. We don’t know what we like most about “Shoot Pass Slam”: Shaq’s canary yellow outfit, his rump shaking or his brilliant wordplay — “look up Shaq in the dictionary. I bet you’ll see a picture of me brother.”
It’s hard to tell if Allen Iverson is a good rapper or not because we can’t understand what he’s saying half the time during this mush-mouth adaptation of “Last Night a DJ Saved My Life”. Maybe if he actually practiced, he’d have been a better rapper (Get it?).
When Lebron James released a clip of himself rapping over “Niggas in Paris” on Instagram we all stopped to listen. And, to be honest, King James isn’t the worst rapper we’ve ever heard. We know middle school lunch-time rappers who are way worse. But he should probably stick to 30 second sound bites and spare us all an album.
Roy Jones, Jr
This sounds just like a rap song performed by someone who gets hit in the head for a living, but “Ya’ll Must Have Forgot” still deserves a listen. Roy Jones Jr. totally sounds like Mr. T when he raps. And while his lyrics are forgettable, you’ll be thinking about his 8-pack for the rest of the day.
Metta World Peace
Metta World Peace’s “Get Low” may be one of the most mediocre rap songs of all time. And that’s even with Mike Jones, Capone, Nature and great production values. We can all officially put Ron’s rap career in the “mistake” pile.
Not many of us are old enough to remember when baseball legend Darryl Strawberry released “Chocolate Strawberry” back in 1986. And that’s a shame, because the song is hilarious in a way that only bad ’80s songs can be. We’ll let the lyrics speak for themselves on this one:
“My name is Darryl. I’m a baseball play-ah/
One thing I forgot to say-ah/
When I’m on the field I’m on top of the world/
I get screams from all the girls
(A bunch of men pretending to be girl’s moan “Darryl” in the background)
We bet you can’t listen to this track all the way through without laughing so hard you get in trouble at work.
In 1994, a group of NBA players decided to get together and produce an album called “B-Ball’s Best Kept Secret.” It was all pretty bad, but we’re singling out Jason Kidd because his track — “What the Kidd Did” — is the worst of the worst.
The song is about Jason just being a generally good guy. And the way he delivers the lyrics is even more boring than the song’s subject. He sounds like he’s reading them off of a sheet of paper…and having trouble.
The Philadelphia Eagles
Sometimes a a team goes crazy all at the same time. And in 1988, all of the Philadelphia Eagles got together to produce Buddy’s Watchin’ You. They all got in a room, “We Are the World Style” and proceeded to “spit” some of the saddest most awkward “rhymes” in hip hop to date.
Here’s the second boxer on the list. Mayweather should seriously never rap again. His song “Yep” is just another example of the downfall of hip-hop. Instead of rapping, Mayweather should put his ego to the side and fight Manny Pacquiao. That’s something I’m sure all of us would like to see.
OK, so Sir Charles never seriously pursued a career in rap. But we’re still going to take a minute to talk about just how “turrible” his rhymes were in this 2010 Taco Bell commercial.
We know whoever came up with this was thinking “He’s black. We’ll have him rap through the commercial.” And hopefully this awkward commercial taught them an important lesson about why it’s wrong to stereotype.
Deion Sanders dominated in football and basketball. So we can sort of understand how he thought he’d be a natural at rap too. Unfortunately for “Must Be the Money,” Deion was dead wrong. He’s off-key, off-rhythm an just…off. But his s-curl and suit-with-no-shirt on looks are hilarious. We recommend watching the video at least once…maybe on mute.
“T-Hud’s” song “Gangsta” sounds like it was made in his basement at three o’clock in the morning. Everything about it is bad from the beat to the delivery. And we weren’t the only ones who thought so. His album only sold 78 copies in his first week.
We saved the best of the worst for last. Marquise Daniels isn’t terrible as “Q6” the rapper. We wouldn’t go so far as to say we like “Kome Here Nikki,” but Marquise didn’t do too bad. His flow is together, the production values are great and the video is entertaining. We don’t think he should pursue rapping as another career option, but he’s definitely better than bad.