Cougar Etiquette 101: What Not To Do When Dating A Younger Man

July 31, 2013  |  
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Cougars are all the rage for men in their twenties through forties (although the latter are kidding themselves—they’re no young cubs). But just what is it about women in the 40 plus group that is such a turn on? You’ll thrive in the game of dating younger men if you can pin that down, and if you can avoid the bad behavior of your fellow 40-plus felines.


Don’t try to dress like you’re twenty

Trying to dress like you’re half your age makes you look twice your age. You probably don’t have the abs you used to back in the day, so get acquainted with flowy tops. The good news is your girls probably grew with age and maybe a little weight gain elsewhere. Show ’em off!



Don’t try to keep up with pop culture

Play the music you like when he comes over, suggest movies from your youth on movie night, and for goodness sake do not keep up with the Kardashians. One of your cub’s favorite things about you is you’ve got “vintage” style. He wants to know what’s interesting and popular in your age group.



Don’t try to party too hard

Men look for class in cougars. Don’t try to keep up with a young buck by suddenly wanting to go out all throughout the week and drink hard after work. Your body won’t bounce back the same; and if he wanted a party girl, he’d be with one, instead of you.

Don’t mommy him

Don’t correct his grammar, or fact-check him when he’s engaged in conversation, or wipe his mouth. The last thing he’ll want to do is have sex with someone who reminds him of his mother.

Don’t pay for everything

Let him feel like a man and treat you, too. The greatest thing about dating someone younger is that he has so many places to show you that you’d never know about otherwise, and visa versa. So, try this: when you suggest a place, you pay. And when he suggests one, he pays.



Don’t be too bossy in bed

A cub will like that you know what you’re doing. He won’t like if you imply he doesn’t know what he’s doing. If there are certain things you need to happen in bed, present them in a way so it’s fun for both of you, and not just all in service of your big O.



Don’t talk too much about your accomplishments

You’ve had a longer life and inevitably accomplished more than your cub. It’s natural to reference your own history, experiences, victories etc. in conversation, but you have to watch it around a cub. He’s insecure to begin with: don’t provoke that.


But don’t downplay your accomplishments

Don’t completely stay quiet about what you’ve done! Part of what attracts a young guy to an older woman is all her knowledge and experience about careers, travel, relationships and life in general. When he asks you about your history, don’t be afraid to share.



Don’t get catty around younger women

Like a crop top or too much makeup, catty behavior instantly ages you. So long as you see your age as an advantage, so will your cub. But he can smell it the second you feel insecure about your age, and being catty to younger women is the first symptom.


Don’t knock the young spots

Your cub is going to take you to places that are too loud, too crowded, too simple, too cheap, too dirty—you name it. But there’s a reason he likes those places. Be open to what that reason may be.


Accept your curves

Too many cougars hit the gym obsessively, whittling their bodies down to nothing but bone. That does not look good on an older woman. Curves come in beautifully on the 40-plus group. And to a cub, that type of body isn’t a turn off—it’s different and exciting.

Don’t judge him

He won’t know as much about money management or interior design or even table manners as you do. His apartment might be messy and his resume might be all botched up. Just remember: so was yours when you were his age.

Source: Shutterstock


Don’t hide your kids!

If you lie about having children or send them away to visit their aunt anytime your cub comes over, everybody will feel guilty. Your guy will feel guilty that your kids have to scram when he’s around, and you’ll feel guilty about hiding your pride and joy!


Don’t dump on men your age

A younger man wants to feel that you’re approaching the concept of dating younger men from a positive place. He wants to feel that you see what is special about him, and not just how he is the opposite of everybody else you’ve dated. Refrain from complaining about men your age.

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  • Coker Clifton

    CougarLure * c0m —Casual dating, relationships and discreet encounters are just some of the things you will find in the best upscale personals site.

  • lori

    Im so mad , I dont even know what came over me I didnt even get to sleep with him-he stopped before anything happened and then wouldn’t even text me back–wow have not known how to deal with this and now I feel addicted to the drama-omg

  • lori

    that is for sure-a rollar coaster ride that has been insane-havent been through this type of drama since age 16

  • Marina Calis

    i do not think an older woman and a much younger man can last…They have to have something in common…men mature at a later stage than men so this would not be a good match.

  • MsLadyE

    Dressing too young isn’t a good idea. However, going in the other extreme and dressing like his mother or grandmother isn’t flattering, either.

    Also, try not to use a lot of slang. The man you’re dating is attracted to you because of your wisdom and intelligence. Using a lot of slang makes you sound unintelligent. And your man might think you’re mocking him or making fun of the way he speaks.

  • mskane808

    i don’t encourage dating younger men. stick to your age or older. if you must do so don’t date no one younger than 5 years your age.

  • Bill Wiseman

    Cougars are hot

  • NSimonefan

    All of the advice is good except for the paying for dates advice. He’s the man, you’re the woman. He should pay for ALL your dates whether he suggests the place or you suggest the place.

    • Ricoswag305

      Its 2013 not 1967 it doesn’t always have to be the man. Of course I want to pay but sometimes when my girl pays it shows me respect

      • Queening

        ImI currently dating a younger man, I invited him for lunch…I paid! No big deal!

      • mskane808

        key word fool ur “GIRL” . she’s not a date. an u right its not 1967 no more b/c men back then were more respect an didn’t feel a certain of way about paying for dates.

        • Ricoswag305

          Wait hold up who the fuk you calling a fool you dumb b!tch, you think anyone will respect you let alone A man. Have fun paying for the bills no respect having a$$

          • mskane808

            typical, i got a man , matter of a fact a boss. mr disrespect , so bills we both pay, im surprise any woman with you, with your level of respect, saying the word fool was not enough for your weak azz to call me a b****.. . like i said typical new era nicca.,

            • Ricoswag305

              Calling someone a fool without even knowing who the fuk you’re talking to deserves to be called b!tch. If you came correct the first time we wouldn’t have an issue and I do have a girl who respects and gets treated with respect. Typical new era broad

              • mskane808

                u sounded like a fool so that’s what i called you., still no need to call a woman the B word. good day.

                • Ricoswag305

                  Lets put it in words you can comprehend. Regardless if it was with the current girl that I am with or girl’s that I have dated in the past, there isn’t anything wrong with a girl saying hey let me take you out which I have let happen. I own a business taking a girl out or spending money isn’t a problem being taken advantage of is a problem. If a girl i’m dating wants to take me out it shows me that she has traits of being independent and there’s a mutual respect. We both work hard for our money and we both spend it accordingly regardless whose paying what. With that being said me sounding like a fool and you actually being a fool is now more tolerable.

                  • mskane808

                    First an foremost this is not about to keep being up for discussion, so comprehend that! regardless of what the hell you say a man wanting a women to pay is crazy. it should be her choice, an not a demand or a need. men who got it don’t worry bout nothing ( french montana ). continue to work hard while me an mines work smart, an since i’m being a fool is now more tolerable. you shouldn’t waste your time responding back. in my t.i voice be easy.

                    • Ricoswag305

                      Hahaha yeah after you just recited something from french montana this shyt is done loll child

                    • impaler

                      demanding the guy pay is crazy. who do you think you are? both parties work and its up to them

  • Kitty

    Dating younger men can be exciting & a headache at the same damn time chile.Put your seatbelt on because your in for a ride.