14 Of The Worst Things About Being A Bridesmaid
You say that it’s an honor, you say nothing would make you happier, you say you feel so lucky to be such a big part of her big day, but the truth is, when your friend asks you to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, the words BIG. FAT. RESPONSIBILITY. flash before your eyes. And probably some dollar signs—not in a good way. It’s hard to narrow down, but here are some of the worst parts of being a bridesmaid.
The women who wanted to be bridesmaids
You want to say, “Take it! The job’s all yours!” but you can’t, so instead, you silently, awkwardly endure all the passive aggressive comments from the stepsister/cousin/alleged BFF who wasn’t asked to be a bridesmaid. And of course, the actual bride is doing little to stop these painful interactions.
Paying for a dress
If you think you can get away with picking your own out from Ross, you can forget it: if a bride even smell a price tag that reads anything less than $150, she’ll be offended.
Paying for a dress you’ll never wear again
No matter how much the “color goes with everything” or “the length is perfect for a cocktail party,” you’ll never actually wear the dress again. Why? Because you have a dozen other ones you’d rather wear first.
The dress size is never your actual size
Maybe to distract you from the grossly unreasonable prices, the dress shop staff instills a little insecurity by replacing all the size 8 tags with size 10 tags. You’ll somehow always need to order more fabric—which costs extra by the way—and still alterations will have to be frantically made two days before the wedding.
Paying for the hair
You insist you know how to curl your own hair, and that you do have the right colored flowers for your bun, but that never suits the bride: doing your own hair is an insult, so put aside $60 plus tip to go to a hairdresser.
Planning a shower
The bride says the shower is up to you, but she’s calling every day to check on the details. Oh yeah, and she has a dozen requests of her own—requests that are vague, extravagant, and require way more work than she realizes.
Attending a shower(s)
Somehow—and you really will wonder how—you’ll attend multiple showers for the same wedding. That’s multiple times you have to act genuinely enthused for the bride, and ask all the same arbitrary questions, and listen to all the same stories. Oh yeah, and give up a Sunday afternoon when you’d much rather be at home nursing a hangover.
Helping the bride through a meltdown
You’re a bridesmaid—that means you’re part of the damage control team! You must be available 24/7 in case the bride is having a panic attack over what color napkins to select, or if she should even be getting married at all! If you, god forbid, miss a few of her freak out calls, you’re immediately deemed the lazy bridesmaid.
Having to take a side in bride/groom arguments
Did I mention you’re on a team now? Yeah, apparently planning a wedding is a bride v.s groom event, and you’re expected to be on the bride’s side. Even when she’s being a huge baby, even when she’s being unfair, unreasonable, and impossible, you’re supposed to glare alongside her at the groom, like it’s all his fault. How dare you suggest perhaps he has a point…
The random added “wedding planning” party/brunch/weekend
As if there aren’t enough pre-wedding events between the engagement party, the bridal shower, the bachelorette party and the rehearsal dinner, somebody had to come up with the “wedding planning party.” This can last anywhere form an evening to an entire weekend and is meant to help the bride unwind from the stress of planning a wedding. Translation: you buy her drinks all weekend, get her a gift certificate for a massage, give her some expensive bubble bath and possibly pay for a room at a posh, boutique hotel.
The too-drunk bachelorette
Bachelorettes are a prime target for sleazy men, and since the bachelorette had her own personal bottle of champagne in the limo, plus countless shots bought for her when people saw her “Bachelorette” sash, and then the bottle of Grey Goose you pre-ordered for the table, you just became a body guard.
Trying to determine the perfect gift…seven times
The bridal shower gift, the bachelorette party gift, the engagement party gift, the gag gift, the wedding planning party gift, the wedding gift…as if it’s not enough stress to think of a thoughtful/useful/personal gift once, you have to do it almost every week for a few months.
The posed photos
When the photographer asks you to pretend to braid the bride’s hair for twenty minutes as she captures that shot from one hundred angles or when you have to stand under the smoldering sun pretending to feel fresh because it’s the perfect light for a group shot.
The post-wedding brunch
You’re all hung over. You probably did things you regret last night. And instead of like in normal life when you get too crazy at a bar but don’t need to see those people again for weeks—if ever again—you have to see them 9 hours later.