Q: I am a 25-year-old soon-to-be college graduate. My fiancé and I have dated for four years and we are both in college right now. We love each other very much. He is my friend, my prayer partner and my number one supporter. We both deeply believe in not moving in with each other or living with each other until we wed, and we refuse to marry too fast. He is four years older than me and we are both active members of our church. We have agreed to pre-marital counseling as well and look forward to it. In addition we have both decided to hold off on children until we are finished with our degrees.
Immediately after the proposal, his mother opposed to our union. My engagement bliss turned into engagement blues. She feels that he will not finish school if we are married. I am continuing my education post-grad. Neither of us are naive about the obstacles we will face. We have chosen to face them together.
In retrospect, besides her one objection we have over 100 supporters (full of family and friends). Yet, I still feel sad, and I am having a hard time dealing with his mother. It’s already nerve-racking to marry into a new family, but now the idea of having a monster-in-law gives me nightmares. Honestly, I am so disappointed by her sudden change in attitude. Not so long ago, his family was gung-ho about marriage. She went from treating me like a daughter to being distant. Dr. Sherry, how do I maintain my relationship with her when she so heavily objects to our union.
Read Dr. Sherry’s response at Essence.com