Serious Question: Would You Give Your Husband A Pregnancy Pass?

July 18, 2013  |  

So, we’re sitting here watching the new Fox talk show, “The Real,” and co-host Tamar Braxton asks the question: would you give your man a pregnancy pass?

A what?

Yeah, we never heard of that either. Essentially, as Tamar explained  to her co-hosts Jeannie Mai, Tamera Mowry, Loni Love, and Adrienne Bailon, a pregnancy pass is when a woman who is expecting allows her husband — and father of the child she’s carrying — sleep with other women because she’s not up to having sex.

It should come as no surprise that when this question was asked, the resounding answer — on set and in our office — was “hell no.” For starters, I haven’t met or heard a pregnant woman yet say that she didn’t have sex while she was carrying a baby. Things may have gotten tricky toward the end and her and her partner may have had to try some new positions to get it done, but sex was absolutely happening — and often. Second, I — and a lot of other women — will likely be damned if, while they are carrying a man’s child, that same man has the nerve to step out and sleep with someone else. Ebonically speaking, where dey do dat at? Or, to paraphrase my coworker, “I wish a man would. If he don’t get off that couch and get me some fries while I’m carrying his seed!”

Nevertheless, the idea of a pregnancy pass didn’t appear out of thin air, which means some pregnant woman, somewhere is letting her man dip out on her sometime between trimester one and trimester three. The question is who are these women. And more interestingly, would you do it?


Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • chang

    That’s a great idea. The wife while she struggles with feeling attractive from the baby and baby weight not to mention the mood swing and other general stresses of being pregnant should really be worrying about her husband getting some. Absolutely ridiculous and selfish would never ask my wife to do this.

  • ImaniJemilahJones

    I wouldn’t let any man get me pregnant in the first place.

  • Pause! I’m carrying OUR child and you want a what???? NO! Get hip to some jerkins lotion and p**nhub(dot)com.

    Ladies if you can’t grow it buy it >>> Sassiegirlhairboutique {dot} com.


    I don’t get what’s it to “agree and disagree about”. The majority are going off strong emotions and “moral concepts” taught. I think there are more people out here in “open” relationships than they know, or choose to quietly ignore. It is a person right to be in a relationship on-on-one, but that is something to be expected and not actually discussed. My man was never a cheater, and I don’t feel like I “gave him permission”, he a grown man; if he wanted to cheat who would have. The point is do what is agreed by you both. *To each his own* I have no judgments here.

  • Sandbrn

    The short answer is ……No!

  • thatonegirl

    H*ll no I didn’t make this baby by myself.

  • Nellila

    I guess their show only air in select cities because I cannot find when this show aired.

    • beautifulglenda

      Check the website for local listing. They are on a series run so they are only playing in select cities for now. You can also check out full episodes online.

  • chanela

    ummmm WHAT?!?!?! why get married or get pregnant by someone if you’re just gonna sleep with other people at a woman’s most sensitive time? fck that!

  • speaksthetruth

    If you can’t have sex there are other things you can do— if you know what I mean. You only need two things, your mouth and toys.

    • Drew


  • CKB

    I think stems from way way back in the day , men of means took on a mistress while his wife was in her confinement. This was cause they believed a woman was weak during pregnancy. And it was distasteful to fornicate with your pregnant wife. Now with Modern medicine we know that a pregnant woman won’t break.
    In short , in 2013, OH HELL NO!!!

    • Drew

      “… fornicate with your pregnant wife,” you say? With YOUR pregnant WIFE?!?! Just damn.

  • sasha

    Doesn’t make sense for people not already in an open marriage IMO

  • Jessica2248

    what man who claims to love his woman would even want to do that, and what woman who loves herself would allow or encourage that behavior??

  • gagirl69

    Tamar must have given Vince “the pass”???

    • nene

      no I watched the show she said hell no to ,she was just asking the question for discussion.

  • NatashaDecemberBabyThomas

    Hell to the muthaf**kin no! My husband and I had sex when I was pregnant with our daughter and since I had her, my sex life have been better than before I got pregnant, I’m not gonna have him bringing home a cocktail of STDs to me by messing with other hoes, sorry, once he promised to faithful and committed to me, he better keep his promise.

  • erin

    Hail naw…#Ms. Sofia voice

  • Mr Nuff Said

    I just think its interesting when a woman doesn’t want sex, and don’t want their men to have it with no one else either. That’s selfish.

    With that said, pregnancy is a 9 month blip in the grand scheme of a full relationship so other accommodations should exist. Its a two way street and if you are simple REFUSING with no consolation (other sex offered) then you’re just being a bad partner.

    • PleaseDOBetter

      It is also selfish for the man to consider only his sexual needs when his woman/wife/partner is pregnant with his child.

      For a lot of women, including those that have commented here, they have said that their sex drive has increased due to said pregnancy. Why would a man then need to step out?

      • Mr Nuff Said

        I agree and disagree. He should have the patience to be with his wife/partner and not go DEMANDING sex, but at the same time, that partner should still be thoughtful as well. There are other things that can be done to alleviate that need. Again, you’re in it TOGETHER.

        Secondly, there are several woman who feel a man should be “grateful” to get whatever sex he’s getting – be it once a week, once a month, or 3 times a year. If he leaves, he’s a jerk, and if he cheats he’s a jerk. Its a lose-lose for the man simply because of that “selfish” attitude.

        • PleaseDOBetter

          I get your point and I also disagree and agree. I think for the most part, it is safe to say that people are having sex before marriage. There are indicators of how the sex will be throughout the marriage prior to getting married. I am not saying that a man (or a woman for that matter) should be doomed to a marriage of celibacy, but if you marry someone with the expectation that sex will increase when they have shown you that that is not what they are about, that is the man’s bad-this is similar to women thinking a man will change because he put a ring on it. WRONG.

          I do agree with your point about some women thinking the men should be grateful. I don’t agree that that should be how sex works. There needs to be some compromise, if not intercourse than something else.

        • PleaseDOBetter

          Overall, I don’t like this idea of a pass (for any reason), but I agree that some women are selfish. I have seen a woman’s selfishness play out with one of my sisters and her husband. She is absolutely unwilling to work on her sex drive (won’t go to counseling, won’t experiment). He loves her and wouldn’t cheat but I wonder when that love will no longer be enough.

          • Mr Nuff Said

            Its not just women. Just as you mentioned, PEOPLE have selfish tendencies. There’s no room for selfishness in a marriage. Instead of simply communicating, I think this “pass” nonsense is a weak attempt at making something work.

    • Drew

      Damn. Respect, bro. But, still damn.

    • Me

      Normally I always wanted s#x but when I got about 6 mos preg I wanted NO s#x. He said he got sick of whacking off but he was very attentive to me when I was preg. I don’t think it crossed his mind to cheat.

      • ImaniJemilahJones

        Oh believe me, it crossed his mind.

  • LAMommy

    No, not happening … EVER. In fact, I am getting a wax this weekend, keeping everything in tact while I’m preggers right now.


    YES. I need help now! I tired from the day to day living and what not. So he is more than welcome to step out and practice safely *to each his own***

    • Herm Cain

      Exactly I wouldn’t touch a pregnant woman with a 10 foot pole leaky nipples hormones raging swollen feet pass or not I’m getting a** the whole 9 months

  • Tiffany Shaw

    Lmaooooo.. Stop the madness… I’m not giving you a pass to cheat on me.. Just stop it.. this shouldn’t even be a question.

  • MissB


    I’m VERy pregnat and trust me, the sex is being had, many times a week. LOL

    No but on a serious note, just imagine if while your man is out there doing what you don’t want to, he gets someone else pregnant? How dumb would you feel? In my book there should NEVER be any sort of passes, ever. If you can’t handle having a man then you need to be single.

  • Hvnly Smile

    Hail no!!!!

  • SheBe

    He’s a husband. He vowed to be with me and only me. So hell no! Also, there are times when intercourse may not be ok per doctors orders. I had that happen for 4 weeks because of a minor issue. That scared my husband into NOT wanting to (which happens with a lot of men who fear hurting the baby anyway) and I damn near had to rape him! Lol!

    • Mr Nuff Said

      So when intercourse isn’t available, that means he get absolutely nothing?

      • SheBe

        Intercourse is not the only form of sex sweetie.

        • Mr Nuff Said

          I know, but a LOT of people act like it is….like CKB

      • CKB

        He has two hands doesn’t he?

        • PleaseDOBetter

          And so does she. Typically, a married couple agrees on when to start a family or both parties take responsibility if it is an accidental pregnancy (before they may be ready). Yes, she is pregnant but that doesn’t mean that she can’t engage her partner in a release. After all, a marriage is a PARTNERSHIP.

      • Jeyna

        Why are you worried? When men go off to war should women going around asking so she gets nothing? Yeah she nothing!!! Somethings are a little more important than what’s between your legs.

  • Junebug

    Shoot, my s3x drive was better when I was first pregnant and after I had my child, my husband and my s3x life is still better. But would I give my husband a pregnancy pass, hell no! He made a commitment to me to be faithful, he better keep it that way!