Sure Signs You’re The Girl On The Side

July 12, 2013  |  
1 of 15

Sure Signs You're The Girl On The Side

No one wants to be classified as the side chick, and no matter how much you want to believe that you are the only woman, sometimes guys can be much trickier than you think. Men will go to all sorts of lengths to ensure that they can juggle as many girls as possible, without even considering his present relationship status. Here are 14 signs that you are the side chick and that you need to leave ASAP! Unless you don’t mind that sort of thing.

His house is a mystery

His house is a mystery

You’ve never been invited to his house for a date. You have no idea what his house looks like or where he even lives, despite the fact that you two have been dating for months now. When a guy is entirely uninterested or unwilling to show you his home or invite you into it, it’s likely because he shares his home with another woman. He doesn’t want to get caught in his lie and there’s not enough time to hide the evidence and then put everything back into its place.

You're not connected through social networks

You’re not connected through social networks

Finding someone who isn’t on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter, is like finding a needle in a haystack. When you’re the girl on the side, you may find that your guy says he doesn’t use social networking, or he makes some other excuse as to why you can’t be his friend on Facebook or follow him on Twitter. In fact, he locks everything down to ensure you can’t somehow connect via social networking. This is probably because social networking sites are some of the easiest ways to get caught.

He's protective of his phone

He’s protective of his phone

Men who are players tend to be highly protective of their phones. He has a password on his phone and makes sure to lock it after every time he uses it. When the phone rings, he either goes into another room to take the call, ignores it completely, or turns the volume down super low so that you can’t possibly hear a thing that is being said.

He's always busy

He’s always busy

While he will make time for you, it isn’t a substantial amount. He can only spend time with you on weekdays during the day and he can only call you while he’s at work. You rarely get a text from him during the evening hours, and if you do, it’s super late at night. When he says he will call you back soon, he doesn’t call you until a few days later. All clear signs that he has a main chick and you aren’t it.

Nothing ever randomly happens

Nothing ever randomly happens

You’re never able to randomly get in contact with him. Random and unplanned meet-ups for lunch are absolutely out of the question. Nothing can ever be last minute but instead has to be planned, sometimes weeks in advanced. This is usually because your guy has to not only set aside time for you, but he has to make up lies to tell his main chick.

You two don't celebrate holidays

You two don’t celebrate holidays

When Valentine’s Day comes, you don’t receive any type of gift. This goes for any other holiday as well, including your birthday, Christmas, or even your anniversary. This is because he doesn’t want to spend time or money on his side chick because his main chick is soaking it all up. When you do celebrate holidays, it’s never on the real day. Valentine’s Day is celebrated a week before, as are other holidays.

He's never angry if you cancel

He’s never angry if you cancel

Even if you cancel at the very last minute, this guy isn’t ever the least bit angry or concerned. Most guys get a bit angry when a girl cancels on them, but not this man. Instead, he accepts it and almost seems a bit relieved by it. Why? Simply because he doesn’t have to put up a front and lie to his main chick. That makes his life a lot easier and lessens his chances of being caught red handed.

You've never met his friends or parents

You’ve never met his friends or parents

Most men who are proud and happy with their relationship will eventually introduce their girlfriend to his parents and/or his friends. If you have never met, let alone spoken to his parents or friends, this is a huge sign that you can’t be known amongst his inner circles. Why? Because he’d immediately be ousted as a cheater and a player.

He doesn't talk about his past relationships

He doesn’t talk about his past relationships

When you’ve asked about his past relationships, he never has much to say. He will either blow off the topic completely and move onto something new, or he’ll say a few words, but that’s about it. If you’re the side chick, this guy does not want to risk saying something he shouldn’t that will blow his cover. Instead, he avoids certain topics, especially ones regarding relationships.

He cancels a lot

He cancels a lot

Weeks ago you two planned a date at a nice restaurant, but just yesterday he had to cancel immediately. A true sign that you’re the side chick is when a guy continuously and randomly has to cancel spending time with you. When his main chick is in the picture, he of course has to put her first, so your planned time together takes the back burner.

He rarely spends the night

He rarely spends the night

Even after a fun night together, this man will rarely spend the entire night with you. Sleeping over almost never happens and when it does, he has to leave at the most random times. This guy may be with you until 3AM, but he absolutely refuses to fall asleep at your house. More than likely this is because he knows he has to get back home to be with his main chick, who is probably expecting him home after a “guys night out,” or whatever excuse he offered to her.

Your relationship is almost entirely physical

Your relationship is almost entirely physical

When he compliments you, it’s about how nice your body is or how good you are in bed. When you two spend time together, it usually ends up between the sheets. He doesn’t wine and dine you often but instead focuses more on having you and getting out. When a guy refuses to connect with you on a mental or emotional level, it could be because he’s already connected that way with his main woman.

You don't go to many public places

You don’t go to many public places

When you two go on dates, it’s either in another town over, some small local place, or it’s at your house. This is because he doesn’t want to get caught with you in public by someone he knows, albeit a friend or coworker. And on the off chance that you two are in public, PDA is very rare. He doesn’t hold your hand and he doesn’t show you a lot of public affection.

He never talks about the future

He never talks about the future

Asking him about his views on the future of your relationship is like pulling teeth. Simply put, this guy doesn’t want to think about the future because he really isn’t planning one. In his mind he’s probably well aware that keeping you as the other woman won’t last for too long, so why plan on a future at all?

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Joy Ward

    WHYYY do you have Geena Davis on this list? Apparently, whoever wrote this is young and out of touch. Geena Davis did her thing, she had a VERY successful career!

  • Popeye Olive

    Our relationship ended by him because “I was pettY’. There were soooo many signs and language. It was my first experience and boy was i naive. This site helped to educate me. This is SO ridiculus: He took his life long friend to a b-day celebration to see Diana Ross and dinner. My comment was i feel hurt the the planning for my b-day (dinner when we can squeeze it in) didn’t have the same planning. He remembered 6-days before. He said – Petty why do you always look for problems !! Then LOL he blamed it on the building. The last gift of ending the relationship feels so right. The deception was endless. 1 1/2 years

  • 1DayWeWillKnow

    I’ve been here before, so I’m reading these and laughing while simultaneously feeling salty.

  • ThisIllegalAmericanLife

    Ashley Page must be Chris Rock ghost comedy writer. I swear I’ve heard all this at a Chris Rock concert. Too funny. “He’s too busy” Ha!, HE’S A SURGEON! Look at the picture.

  • ThisIllegalAmericanLife

    LOL. The first picture with the heading “His House is a Mystery”. Ok, if that was a white girl in the picture, believable. What black man has a house? Unless he’s living with his mother.

  • Pingback: Sure Signs You’re The Side Chick()

  • E McArthur

    I took the dude I’m talking too off of FB because it’s too early in the relationship and I do not have the energy to question every single ‘like’ they get right now especially because dudes do the same with mine and it means nothing….what’s done in the dark will come to light either way I feel…so I do not believe in that social media rule because there could be drama caused from nothing because of those sites….Anyways, I got to keep on reading….I met his friends and bring up my name while he was on the phone with his friends so I take that as a good sign so far…

  • Ouch*Dee*Thats*Bottom!

    Side chick. Chick from the side then…

  • Moya Oneilla Rose-Miller

    if u have to ask then you are

    • Tamia

      but 99% of black men have side chicks and cheat. So ask yourself that right now. If you with a black man than u are being cheated on, simple.

      • Jack Nebula

        you are an idiot.

        • Tamia

          sounds like u are a side chick. lol

  • Mark A

    Daumn, women do the same thing! I got played by this woman they same way. This happen to me, and I felt foolish cause I thought I was in love, yet I had to let her go, cause it was getting more than I could handle. And yes I did love her and lust for her, but I finally realized one without the other makes things right, along with the disrespect that was also realized, I made a move to tell her to kick rocks. She did and now when I see her I get an impression that she try her best to duck and dodge me. I’ve moved on, but it’s seems that she think I’m goanna step on her neck, lol1

  • Sdot

    More stfu…sometimes u dont know if ur the side chick. It happens hence the article

    • Machone

      After a period of time, you will know if you’re the side chick! Never meeting his family is a big sign!

      • more

        WRONG!! lmaooo! my brother stay introducing me to side chicks.Matter fact i have had men who NEVER WANTED anything serious introduce me to their parents. Of course i saw the BULLsh*t a mile. Thank god i played my cards right

        • Tay

          And what did u do when he introduced you to the side chick(s)? And you know your brother´s wife/ girlfriend, right?

          • more

            Yes i me and my mom and grandma have met a couple of his side pieces over the years. We did nothing because they all know what my brother is about. Hell i been introduced to parents by men who were never really serous about me. at end of the day when you grow up around brothers you see sh*t for what it is. Unlike growing up around woman who seem to live in denial about these things.

    • more

      The truth hurts! U birds love this MAIN CHICK SIDE CHICK NONSENSE! How about aiming for being the ONLY CHICK? Oh i forgot birds dont think like that

  • more

    SOO sick of this SIDE CHICK MAIN CHICK crap!! Not only do i have to worry about THE SIDE chicks health BUT i also have to worry about what type of crap she is passing off !

    • Tamia

      its called condoms and being with a black men u should always use them.

      • more

        Hun ALL MEN have STDS!

        • Tay

          That´s true. But black men (latinos, africans, african americans…) are the shadiest..It´s runs in the color. Dont ask me why..but i´ve seen it around me.

          • more

            ok love go to the aids clinic you will notice a more than just black or brown