Love Is Complicated: Why Is It Hard To Understand Why Shayanna Jenkins Would Stick By Her Murderous Man?

July 8, 2013  |  

Can you put conditions on true love?

Of course that is a trick question. While it is true that folks put conditions on love every day, it is also true that for the right person, we might be willing to bend or cast aside our conditions for what we deem as true love – even if it is short-sighted and temporary. And all of this to say that maybe Shayanna Jenkins, the fiancée of Aaron Hernandez (the former New England Patriot accused of …well, doing a whole host of violent  s**t) isn’t crazy. Maybe she just really loves her fiancée unconditionally?

According to Bossip, who got their information from Radar Online, who got their information from The Daily Beast…

“Charged with murder and under investigation for a separate double homicide, Aaron Hernandez is behind bars in Mass., and damning evidence is reportedly mounting against him. But one person — his fiancée and baby mama, Shayanna Jenkins, isn’t talking to cops and concerns have been voiced that they’ll attempt to make that arrangement permanent.

Jenkins, who has a eight-month-old daughter with the former New England Patriots star, was initially talking to cops.”

Full disclosure: prior to the reading I did over the weekend, I had no idea who Aaron Hernandez was and what kind of sport he played. However, after getting myself caught up, I have come to realize that either this dude is a real life football playing version of Dexter or he is a real life, football playing version of Lemony Snicket’s a Series of Unfortunate Events. Sorry for all the movie and television references, but it is just too surreal how a person has this much time on their hands to play football and be a murdering psychopath – allegedly.

If you were like me and had been pretty lax on the case, here’s a quick summary:

Hernandez, who as of last month played for the New England Patriots, has been charged in the shooting death of Odin Lloyd, a semi-pro player, who is also Shayanna Jenkins’ sister’s boyfriend (paging Dr. Maury). Lloyd’s body was discovered in June in an industrial park, not too far away from Hernandez’s New England home. According to published reports, he was shot multiple times and bullet casings found by the body match those belonging to a gun owned by Hernandez. Also, published reports are saying that there is even video footage of Hernandez, along with two alleged accomplices, picking up Lloyd the morning of his death, driving into the industrial park where his body was later found, and walking back into his mansion with what appeared to be a .45 caliber Glock. But here is where the story gets even crazier: In addition to Lloyd’s murder, Hernandez is also being looked at in connection to three more shootings, including the drive-by shooting death of Safiro Furtado and Daniel Abreu, who were gunned down in Boston last year as they sat at a traffic light. And late last month, reports began to surface of a lawsuit by former friend Alexander Bradley, who alleged that Hernandez shot his eye out after an altercation at a strip club. Sounds like quite a catch right? Well maybe he is – sort of.

According to various reports, Jenkins and Hernandez were high school sweethearts whose relationship continued all the way through college. The two got engaged shortly after the birth of their daughter in November of last year and despite his pending trial on charges of murder (thus far), the two plan on getting married. There is certainly a long history between the two, one I imagine required lots of trench digging and climbing out of. And I imagine that there must be lots of love, respect and support between the two, or else, why would she stick around (especially now since the NFL is taking back all their money)?

Now I’m not saying that I’m hoping for an invite to the wedding, but at the same time, I’m not sure why folks act like it’s hard to imagine why Jenkins is standing by her man. I honestly believe that most women (and men) would – at least for the short term. Heck, a great number of folks probably would be around for the long haul too. And that’s the thing about love: It ain’t always tit-for-tat, nor does it always make sense. I would like to  think that if the man who I loved and planned on making a life with was suddenly found out to be a cold-blooded murderer, I would leave. But in all honesty, in the past I’ve stayed around with men who offered me little for less, and I know that I am not alone in this infliction. There are also some men sitting in prison right now who were straight up and down menaces to society, yet maintained loving relationships with the opposite sex and their children. Even Dexter (from the television show of the same name) loved his wife, their son, and his step-children despite being a serial killer. Then again, being with Dexter was a major reason why his beloved wife ended up being hacked to death, so…

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  • Dale

    She was working at Big Lots… she’ll probably write a book or something. Aaron is never getting out.

  • Ivy979

    FEAR…I can’t imagine the fear, anquish and torment that Shayanna is living with these days. It could have been her (and the baby).

    Regarding a rush marriage: even if she does marry him it doesn’t mean she has to STAY MARRIED to him. It’s all strategy in my opinion. The state is set on preventing it.

    I am sure wherever they have Shayanna and the baby in hiding, she is being represented and coached by an attorney.

    SIDE NOTE: Imagine what Shayanna’s parents are going through with both of their daughters (& grand-daughter) front and center in this tragedy.

  • Tehani

    This is what women have been socialized to do.

  • sammi_lu

    Man hasn’t even been found guilty and sentenced, yet the majority of us seem to know how his story ends. I don’t think she is making a bad decision to stand by him for now,for all we know marrying him may be in her best interest. What if she was aware of his alleged criminal activities? Seeing that they have been together since high school and college to now, it’s hard for me to imagine he was living this double life that even she had no knowledge of.

  • Sarah M. Hart

    Well actually I believe that love is only as complicated as you make it. Your choices are what make it complicated nothing more nothing less! Why should would stick by someone when they are being convicted of murder well on she can answer that! Good luck!

  • Shay

    Of course we would say that we wouldn’t stay by our man if we found out he was a murderer. Hell, we might be next on the list. However, he hasn’t been proven guilty (even though the evidence doesn’t look good) and she may still believe in his innocence. We don’t know, but there have been women who dropped their mates soon right after the judge dropped the gavel.

  • Shani Bernard

    If he did it, the way they said then I think that guy Odin might have been touchy touchy with someone. he executed him like you would a rapest or child molester, just say..

    • Kenedy

      Hernandez is also linked to a double homicide that happened a while back….the theory is apparently he executed Odin, because Odin knew about his link to this double homicide & he looked like he was about to start snitching

  • Guest360

    I’m sorry but there’s no way in hell I’m staying with a man that’s committed MURDER! And it wasn’t just anybody that died. This man was her sister’s boyfriend! If he can do this to family, there’s no telling what he’s capable of doing to you. I’m getting the hell out of dodge. #Sorrynotsorry. I don’t do thugs/criminals.

  • Guest360

    I’m sorry but there’s no way in hell I’m staying with a man that’s committed MURDER! And it wasn’t just anybody that died. This man was her sister’s boyfriend! If he can do this to family, there’s no telling what he’s capable of doing to you. I’m getting the hell out of dodge. #Sorrynotsorry. I don’t do thugs/criminals.

    • Cinnamon71

      Exactly! My mantra is you better stay free if you want to be with me. I don’t do thugs, criminals or jailbirds either. Murder is the ultimate crime that anyone can commit. That boundary has definitely been crossed and there’s no coming back from it. I would never be able to look at that person in the same light ever again.

    • Beauty-Queen

      I’m not making excuses for him but what if the sister’s boyfriend was constantly beating her up to within an inch of her life? I’m jut saying this for argument’s sake for us to get in the mind of a killer who may believe in vigilante justice. His conscience may, though it’s wrong, rationalize his behavior. The problem with searing the conscience to do evil is it gets easier each time. As for her, she may have come from an abusive background & indirectly gets a sense of justice from the killings he does (if she knew.) Having said all that, those would be some reasons why she’d stick by him.
      If he’s guilty, he’ll join the number of pro-athletes who had the opportunity to make something of their lives & did stupidness. MAYBE THEY SHOULD MAKE COUNSELLY MANDATORY? IDK, SMH….

  • IllyPhilly

    Wait, Dexter only kills killers. I’m confused because it sounds like cold-blooded murder.

  • Yes I Said It

    Unless it was self defense or saving someone else from danger, I can’t stand by a man who committed murder. My oldest brother was allergic to freedom and the cops came to my house busting doors at 5:30 a.m.regarding a DWI that killed a child. I gave up his address. He had been going to prison since I was 8 until I was near 30. Nobody was exempt, me, my mom, his kids, nobody; he robbed us all. If I committed a horrible crime, I would not ask others to support me.

  • Trisha_B

    How can you still be in love w/a man that is a murderer? We’re not talking about some little drugs that were found in his car, we’re not even talking about unregistered guns. We are talking about murder! Love doesnt go no where, but I dont get how you can just sit next to a man that murdered someone that is close like family. This guy has pictures of himself smiling big, holding guns up in the mirror. He’s a menace. Girls will hold down a man in prison whose doing a 6+ yr bid, saying they are a ride or die chick, but won’t wait for a guy whose going away to college for 4 yrs smh.

    • Starcru

      Yeah,I’ve never quite understand to whole “I’m gonna love my thug boyfriend/baby daddy or husband down,after he’s been in prison for years,or has been in and out of it” logic. Besides,most men could NEVER that for their lady even if a gun was held to their heads.

      • Yes I Said It

        I don’t understand it either. I knew a college professor who had a fiance in prison for over 20 years. Every Saturday around 4 a.m. you could hear her leaving to catch the bus to see him. She was about 50 and not bad looking, I just don’t understand that level of loyalty and I don’t want to.

    • ..

      I’m gonna ignore that corny line you stole from Twitter at the end of your post and say this:

      1) The man hasn’t been convicted of anything yet. This may come as a surprise to some of you self-appointed “jurors”.

      2) As you already pointed out, love doesn’t shut off like a light switch. You can hate what they did and still love the person. We’re fortunate God doesn’t think the way some of you do. Imagine if He threw us away for every huge mistake we made.

      Two takeaways: let the man have his day in court. And don’t trip off a relationship y’all aren’t in.

      And this is coming from someone who dislikes the Patriots.

      • Trisha_B

        I don’t use twitter so i don’t what your talking about smh

        1) yes we know he hasn’t be convicted yet, but everything lines up. He’s a menace that likes to take pics in the mirror holding guns

        2) we are talking about murder of another human being, not some petty little crime. How can you look in the eyes of someone, say I love you knowing they murdered another human being? No human being has the right to take the life of someone else. Of course God loves all his children, & he’s not gonna just throw us away. but the difference between us & other animals, we have a complex brain that let’s us know wrong from right. & i know murdering someone is wrong & that needs to be punished.

        & this is coming from someone who can careless about the Patriots, any NFL team, & sports in general smh

        • Drew

          Question: Have your, or anyone you know EVER had an abortion??? Well, that’s murder to some people. Just saying…

          • Trisha_B

            Oh i consider that murder. I’ve known people who’ve had them, & i don’t believe in them.

    • sammi_lu

      Would you stop loving your child because they murdered someone? I know I would not, disappointment, hurt, and anger no doubt but the love doesn’t just shrivel up and die instantaneously. I’d have to say if it did then that was never true love, love is not conditional.

      • Trisha_B

        Your child is in a whole different boat than someone your sleeping with smh. You carried that child for 9 months, you nursed that child, you raised that child. Any decision they make reflects on you, the parent. So if my child murdered someone, no i wouldn’t stop loving them. They are apart of me. I would sit & wonder what i did wrong for them to make that decision. But Shayanna isn’t Hernandez mother, she’s his gf. Completely different story. The love you have for your child is not comparable to the love you have for some man, so i don’t get your connection

  • Kenedy

    OKAY….Let me put this out there….the state Massachusetts has a law, in which the spouse of someone who has been charged with murder, in this case Aaron, is not compelled to talk to the cops….however, the fact that they are not married yet, Shayanna is still required to speak…thus far, she has been speaking, but when Aaron heard about this & under the advice of his lawyer, he called her & told her to keep it shut….So….this getting married thing, they are trying to hurry up & do it so that Shayanna will not be compelled to say anything. However, the lead detective on the case says he will do anything in his power to stop them from getting married because he knows whatsup…Obviously Shayanna has some ish to say that could incriminate him further. This is strategy, under the advice of his lawyer, to hurry up and get married ASAP.

    • Kenedy

      And I’m not saying that she doesn’t love him or whatever….but I’m just saying that if they get married within the next few weeks or something like that, that is the reason why

    • Gimmeabreak78

      Exactly. Every state has that law, not just Mass and it applies to every crime, not just murder. A spouse is considered the same as oneself. Therefore, just as an individual can invoke the 5th Amendment to protect himself/herself against self-incrimination, a person can invoke the 5th Amendment and remain silent to keep from testifying against his/her spouse and there is nothing any law enforcement officer or judge can do about it.

    • Beauty-Queen

      If the state recognizes common-law marriage can she still be forced to testify?

    • you asked

      They won’t be getting married while he is in the current jail b/c Sheriff Thomas Hodgson says he “doesn’t allow smoking, weights, coffee, fried food, television—or weddings.” Miss Shayanna Jenkins also hasn’t been to see Hernandez since his arrest. Maybe they are afraid of them taping their conversations?

  • Gimmeabreak78

    The writing on this article is not very good. It comes off as it was written in a rush. There are many spelling and grammar mistakes. I know this isn’t the Wall Street Journal, but come on. Sigh…