Have you ever been approached by a man and everything about it was completely wrong? Actually, I’m willing to bet that a majority of the time when a man tries to have sex get to know us, there’s a 98 percent chance that his approach will be all wrong.
Such a thing happened to me this past weekend. Not only was the approach wrong, this whole situation just left a very bad taste in my mouth.
Recently, the building I live in was sold to a new real estate company and my building got a new super. So now instead of calling the super I had come to know and like over the past 2 and a half years, I was going to become acclimated to a new man. I imagine I’m not the only woman who is always on patrol for potentially dangerous men. You never know who’ll be a rapist or the man to snap and throw your body in the nearest river. So needless to say I proceeded with caution with this new super. We’ll call him Roger. Roger is in his mid thirties/early forties with a bit of a pot belly and almost hazel eyes. I didn’t have any problems with Roger. In fact, he seemed quite nice. He fixed my toilet which had been wasting all types of water running consistently–for nearly three years straight. He painted my door in a sleek black that made the exterior look more polished. He was good at his job.
Then one day, during one of my work from home shifts I get a knock at the door. It was Roger. Sweeping the floor, he hesitated for a minute before asking me if I’d been smelling gas around the apartment lately. I thought it was an odd question but I chalked it up to him being attentive. I told him no and just as I was about to close the door he asked, “So, was that your sister I saw leaving the building the other day?” I said yes thinking he was going to make some remark about our similarities in appearance. Instead the conversation went creepy. “She’s very beautiful.” I nodded. Then he said, “You two kind of look alike.” I gave a partial, insincere smile and said umm hmm. Then he went from creepy to full on inappropriate. “Is she seeing anybody?” I held a blank stare to keep from rolling my eyes at this middle school- esque inquiry. “Yes she has a boyfriend.”
“Oh okay.” In an effort to remove myself from his awkwardness, I told him thanks for checking and shut the door. Shivering as soon as he was out of view.
That was months ago and pretty much the last time he’d tried anything slick until just last weekend. After church and grabbing some breakfast, my sister and I unlocked and opened our apartment door only to find that the key was jammed. After at least 30 minutes of trying to wiggle it out, it would not budge. Even though I knew Roger didn’t work on Sunday, I had to call him and see if he could come over and get it out. Initially he said he couldn’t. Then later he called back and said he’d be able to change the lock.
Forgetting about his creepy ways from earlier, I didn’t think anything of his adjusting his schedule to help us out. He came over and changed the lock within 15 minutes. I said thanks and that was it…or so I thought.
Literally, five minutes after he left my phone rang. Roger. I assumed he’d left something in our apartment or had neglected to tell us something about the new keys or lock. The conversation was not about any of that. Instead he called back to mack.
“Renay? I’m sorry to call like this but every time I see you I just chicken out. But I wanted to know if you’re not seeing anybody, could I take you out to dinner sometime?”
Luckily he’d given me an out.
“Oh. I appreciate that but I am seeing someone.”
“Okay. Well if you’re ever not, remember me ok?”
I can’t remember who ended the conversation but I was all too happy to get off the phone.
By now I know some of you may be thinking what was wrong with that he was respectful. But there are at least three things wrong with all of that.
1. Just a few months ago he was inquiring about my sister. Now while it’s great to be in good company, what woman wants to be second choice?!
2. What grown man over thirty “chickens out” and feels like said chickening out will somehow make the woman find him attractive.
3. And then lastly, as a man who is employed as the building super, trying to push up on your residents is so unprofessional! After all, you may or may not have access to my house. You may also be coming in and out of my house when I’m here alone. Trying to date one of your residents, if you don’t know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she shares your interest is creepy and tacky as all hell.
And a bonus just because I feel generous today. In your mid thirties/early forties you’re too old for me, a woman in her mid twenties.
Have you ever been approached by a man in a way that was completely wrong? Do share!