Stop Faking It! Signs You’re Not As Into Him As You Thought

July 18, 2013  |  
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After you’ve already dedicated time getting to know someone, getting attached to someone and getting involved in their life, it’s depressing to think that was all just a waste of time. But you know what the real waste of time is? Spending your life with someone you’re not 110% into. And here are signs that you’re on that path.

You’re in your head during sex

During sex, you notice every face he makes, how loud his breathing is, how heavy his body feels on yours, the weird noises created by your bodies slapping against each other. You’re totally out of the moment.


You’re happier when he’s not around

You probably haven’t thought about it, or haven’t pinpointed it as such but, in reality, you are happier when he’s not in the room, than when he is. Plain and simple: you know what happiness feels like, and you’re not feeling it around him.


You choose sleep over sleeping with him

You’d rather stay home and get a solid eight hours of sleep in your bed, and your home where you’re comfortable, then drive somewhere to see him.


You don’t want to talk about your relationship

Talking about your relationship bores even you. When your friends ask you how it’s going, you say, “Great!” and change the subject. But come on: when you’re into a guy, you have a million things to say.


You don’t speak up when you’re upset

You acknowledge that your boyfriend is being selfish/rude/annoying but you don’t say anything. And the truth is, you don’t really feel upset. When you’ve become emotionally detached from somebody, you don’t feel affected by his poor behavior.


 You think about other men, extensively

We all occasionally acknowledge that somebody else is attractive, even while we’re in a committed relationship. But you find yourself thinking about a guy you met for five minutes, for five weeks.


You don’t notice that you haven’t talked in a while

You vaguely, casually notice that, “Oh yeah…we haven’t spoken since yesterday.” But you didn’t notice his absence. And that 24 hours felt like it flew by.


You make no effort in your appearance

You just don’t care. You really don’t. You think about the prospect of him thinking you look ugly, and that prospect doesn’t bother you. This is what you want to wear right now.


You stop sharing exciting news with him

He’s not the person you share exciting, or difficult, changes in your life with. It just feels like effort re-hashing it all to him. And quite frankly, you don’t know that he deserves to share in your happy moments, or even vulnerable ones.


You stop asking for his advice

It just annoys you if you do take it in, and for the most part, you tune it out. You don’t value his way of thinking or living, so why would you want his advice?



You’re thinking about ending it. Every day.

Every so often, we might think about wanting to end it with our guy. But you have a thought about it every day—how you’d do it, what you’d say, what your life would be like without him etc. And the thoughts have only been increasing lately.


You’re hesitant to make future plans

Purchasing a $500 plane ticket to go visit his family in the Spring screams, “Bad idea!” to you. In fact, making any solid future plans with him that require much time, energy or money feels irresponsible.


The thought of him with someone else doesn’t make you jealous

If you think really hard, and actually visualize, in vivid colors and every detail, your man having sex with another woman, you don’t get a massive stomach ache. You should…

You really care about inconsequential things

It matters a lot what restaurant you eat at, or what movie you see, or if you go to Target or Walmart. Why? Because, when you’re into someone, their company makes all activities fun. But when you’re not into them, the activity itself has to do all the work of satisfying you. Your partner is just extra weight.

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  • CeddyWon Knobby

    I’m a Cancer Man. And The Sagittarius Woman that I Love fits every one of these items. I’m Hurting Bad, but thank You for Your Truth.

  • Sabrina Staub

    So undeniably true!!!!!! I just recently split with my guy and all of these points were dead on.

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  • tyisha

    It was like that with my Kids dad, we started talking in the summer of 08 and I got pregnant with my daughter the fall of the same year. So I was trying to make best of a bad thing with him so we lived together and long story short it didn’t work out. I was taking Care of a baby and him, he didn’t want to nothing bit stay in the house watch tv and play video games. I only put up with it his shit for the whole time I was pregnant with my son. The second I had my son hit walked away. Here we are 3 years, a month, and 4 days later and he is still doing the same thing, and the only reason I know is because so many people that know me be telling and we haven’t seen him since 12/31/2011 and heard from him since January sometime Of last year. And now I’m slowly getting into a great relationship with a man that works, and have a lot going for himself. A real man. And I’m going back to school for nursing to work with the elderly. I always say my kids aren’t aloud to have 2 messed up parents. And at the end of the day this is what he wanted me and the kids to have a real family. And me be in a relationship that I’m proud of. And the kids have a real Dad that loves them and took care of me and the kids. And the guy I’m talking to now, is the right one for me. And we have no need to rush, because we have a life time.

  • depressed_tess

    im with a guy now and i hope im just going through a funk, but alot of these signs are true for me and it depresses me to know that. unfortunately i dont want to break it off with him because his girlfriend before me really messed him up and i don’t want to as well and i just kind of want him to end it. i feel like a coward though and im not sure what to do

  • scandalous7

    deep, spoken to me

  • moodle

    I had 14/15 of these with my fiance I just left. Sigh. We as women need to offer great options to get great options. I AM a fantastic option, but always looking beneath me for companions. Wtf.

  • kaka

    TRUTH Whoever wrote this is a genius

  • SK

    I had to cut it off with my recent bf for all of these reasons. He was a good guy & we’re still friends…but we didn’t see eye to eye on the more important stuff (to me). I kept compromising & I wasn’t enjoying him…just the stuff we did. & I noticed I was much happier when I wasn’t with him. Everything was forced. My fam wanted me to stay with him…but I wasn’t happy…& I started making him miserable. I’m just happy I ended it…ready for the next :-).

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  • MsMoneec1

    If you’re exhibiting the signs, then just break it off! Why keep wasting your time or his? Sheesh!

    • VVV

      Truth be told, I am sort of in that position and the thing that keeps em there is that everybody keeps saying to me what a great guy he is and then because the relationship is long distance, I feel as though I didnt give him a chance and maybe when he gets home it would be better. The there is the maybe-ish real reason, where I think that if I break up with this guy then I would never meet another good guy again. I did end the relationship but somehow it managed to get on lifesupport and seems to be resurging again.
      Its harder to do than it sounds.

  • L-Boogie

    Um, yeah. Some dudes will make you feel this way.

  • Raven

    I’m just keeping real; 4 years ago I was with a guy for a year, he had no job, only living on SSI checks, no goals in life, low self-esteem and he was boring because he rather stay in the house watching Martin reruns and play video games, plus he was 32. Then I went to a vocational college to learn about computers and get certified in computers and I met this guy and he sat next to me in lecture and we started talking. Plus we would study for certifications and we passed all of them. So he offered me to buy me lunch from Chipotle (steak burrito bowl is my fave) and we would hang out at Target, look at electronics and stuff. After school, we would hang out at the lakefront on warm days and 6 months after meeting he asked me to be his girlfriend. I told him I have to think about it. Lately the guy who I was with for a year started bringing me down, not supporting me of my goals and I told him we need to take a break from this, I told him what he wasn’t doing, not taking me out, he’s always depressed and he’s too smothering and it’s draining me. So I agree to be the other guy’s girlfriend and I fell in love with him, so I officially dumped him for this guy. Four years later we’re married and we have a son together. Do I regret dumping my ex for my husband, no, I’m happy.

    • sarahb

      Congrats!!! Bet the other guy still doing the same thing he was 4 years ago..

  • Ms_Sunshine9898

    wow, these really obvious reasons . . .

  • noname_noshame

    I agree with this list!