Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That: Why Having Too Much Time On Your Hands Is Bad For A Relationship

July 2, 2013  |  

 

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An idle mind is the devil’s playground. While this can be applied to most of life’s situations, it’s very applicable when it comes to relationships. And I do believe an idle mind is also a discreet relationship killer. A woman or man with too much time on his or her hands is like getting with someone knowing it’s going to fail because that person is always going to be looking for trouble. Sound too harsh? Probably because I know firsthand from my own ‘need-to-get-some-business’ experiences and also being with men who needed to pick up a hobby or two themselves, that having too much time on your hands is never good.

While most of my recent relationships have gone pretty well, this hasn’t always been the case. Especially when I found myself with too much time on my hands. I’m usually a busy person with way too many things on my plate; but at one time I decided to clear this full agenda and focus a bit more on my social life. This was all great, until I got bored.

My mind was accustomed to being occupied. I was the girl who even had to pencil in fun time into my schedule; but after decreasing my many responsibilities, I found myself with more fun time than I actually needed, and it proved to be everything but fun.

The social part was okay, but when the relationship I found myself in after dating for a while manifested into a more serious situation, the guy became my central focus. Yes, I hate to admit it, but at one time I neglected my goals and put most of my energy into a man. It happens to the best of us.

Well, during my idle time, I wanted to spend it with him, and if he was unavailable, my poor idle mind conjured up scandalous reasons why he wasn’t around. Usually those reasons were presented to him through long text messages or back-to-back phone calls. Sounds crazy, I know; but alas, this is what an idle mind can do to you.

Eventually, the both of us realized that my constant allegations were unhealthy. He came to the conclusion that I had become annoying and actually I concluded the same thing. So I vowed from that situation gone sour and on forward that I would always keep busy with my life, in spite of a relationship.

It’s easier said than done when you think you’re head over heels for someone, but honestly, you have to have your own life before inviting someone else in. And the tricky part is actually keeping your own life in the midst of a relationship. When you’re bored, instead of wanting to spend time with your mate when he’s clearly busy, find a hobby, spend time with your own friends, or better yet, spend time enjoying your own company.

A man likes when you have your own life outside of him. And usually if he doesn’t, there’s a problem. Life is all about balance, and if you focus too much energy on one thing for too long, in the professional realm, you may be a success (and possibly lonely); but when it comes to relationships, most times you will always lose by not having your own life. Simply put, don’t allow idle time to ruin a relationship. Always get some business, outside of your man.

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